Juno11

I'm here! Day 2 on 1/3/2016 and I can wake up with some coffee. Yikes, yeseterday was bad.

Midton, you sound great. I hope Syd comes back, too, sooner rather than later!

I've got a few things on the agenda today. Both boys are getting together with friends so I've got to get moving and get things going. I slept well and dreamed I was in Alaska visiting an old friend. Interesting.

Have a wonderful Sunday, all, I intend to, though admittedly a little anxious about starting the whole routine again tomorrow. One day at a time, I guess!

Winslow

Hey all,I actually hit day 70 on New years day😊 I love losing count and having a nice surprise, Midton,l-glutamine is supposed to be good for sugar cravings,I don't really carehow mmuch sugar I eat right now,anything is better than drinkin, Grizz,I like to order from Thriftbooks,they're used but who gives a hoot they're cheaper,I wish it was warm outside so I wouldn't have to bundle up like the kid on the Christmas story to take my walk😠 hope everyone has a,safe,sane,sober Sunday😊

grizzlybearblue

Way to go Winslow!! That's awesome!
Thank you for the suggestion on the books! I was going to order them today and pay full price, but now I'll check out that website.
Glad to hear you're feeling better today, Juno!
I am also hoping sydneyman checks in soon.
Yep, back to a full work week for me too. We took down all the Christmas decorations yesterday to get the house feeling like normal again. Today is laundry, grocery shopping, and getting my kiddo his haircut before he goes back to school tomorrow. I hope everyone has a nice day today!

Midton

Years ago I tried magnesium supplements for sugar cravings and had some success. I'm back at work today and back into my regular routine so with a little more will power I should be fine between Monday and Friday.

Midton

Yes, I'm on a high recently. Everything is going great.

I think that before the Christmas period I felt like I was holding my breath in anticipation of a potentially dangerous period. Christmas and new year came and went, my head didn't explode and the pressure that was building up disappeared.

I don't think that it's just coincidence that many aspects of my life are suddenly smoother or easier since I quit. I really feel my old, or should I say young, self coming back and I like this person a lot more.

grizzlybearblue

Haha, that's great, Midton! : )
I feel like I am where you were at a couple of weeks ago. A bit of an emotional slump. I was thinking about it today and wondered if it had something to do with the three month mark and changing brain chemistry. I don't know about that, but anticipation of a big event makes sense to me and fits. I'll handle it better sober, no doubt about that. Glad to hear you are doing so well!!

grizzlybearblue

Good morning!
I'm up and at 'em. I'm starting work early and finishing late today. Here we go...
I hope everyone has a great day!

Juno11

Good to hear everyone checking in - still waiting for Syndeyman

I'm on a high from yesterday as I was super productive. I had a list of 16 things to do and amazingly, I accomplished most of them. Some of them were kind of difficult (at least to me) so I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. Among the things I accomplished were arranging a small vacation for me and the kids to Florida in March, setting up a new wireless printer, and using a $40 rewards coupon at DSW that was due to expire yesterday! With the coupon I got myself a new bag - a Calvin Klein black backpack which is really cool and fun and has lots of pockets. I was able to set everything up in my new bag and it gave me an emotional high! I did lots of other things, too, but those were the highlights.

Re: alcohol, the irony is that it's very clear cut that I need to stop drinking, and yet I'm the one who can't get it together. However, I AM getting it together - NOW! For example, I do a lot of reading on these boards and read about people drinking 2, even 3, bottles of wine and just being like "ho - hum - I had two bottles of wine last night. I really need to stop this... or not." If I had two bottles of wine, I can guarantee you I'd be carted off to the ER in a stretcher. If I drink my maximum (which is 3/4 to 1 bottle), I'm disfunctional as all hell. Vomiting all night in the bathroom, fending off panic attacks and where I feel like I'm going to die. I can't imagine what it would be like to drink more than that and I don't want to know! So I'm the type of person who can be fine the next day if I have one glass of wine, borderline the next day with 2 glasses, and pretty sick the next day with any more. The problem is that 1 or 2 glasses usually isn't satisfying. That is why I need to quit 100%. I'm excited for this new year and this new sober life and can't wait until I get to 3 months like most of you guys and see how I feel!

Okay, I'm off to work again. Kids back to school. Kids' dental appointments later. Life has gotten back in full swing already from the holiday break. Take care everyone!

Juno11

Hi - just me posting again. Made it through Monday - well almost, still have some things left to do. I'm a little overwhelmed with life - everything starting up at the same time again after break. I found out today that my son needs braces. This was overwhelming to me. My daughter had them in middle school and it's a huge amount of work and money. The good news is that he seems okay with it. Just have to get my ex on board. I've got to take some deep breaths and get through this. No thoughts of drinking - thankfully. Everything's gonna be okay

grizzlybearblue

That sounds like a great day yesterday, Juno! Good for you : ) And yes, everything is going to be ok!
I go into people's houses, and I always notice how much alcohol they have or don't have around. I've wondered if at some point I won't notice, but that's beside the point. Today I saw alcohol around, and the people are seemingly productive and successful, and I thought those are probably people that can have one glass of wine at dinner. I don't get that. If I had one glass, it would spur my appetite for the rest of the bottle, and then I'd open the second bottle. When I start I don't stop again for a long time. I get hangovers easily, probably because I drank so much, and that always made me want to start drinking again in the morning to bypass the hangover phase. Stay drunk- that's a terrible idea, but that's me when I'm drinking. That didn't have a while lot to do with anything, but your post Juno spurred me to write what I was thinking today. So thank you! It's good for me to remember those things.
I'm back in my work routine and glad to be. I don't have time to overthink everything, and that's a good thing for me.

Juno11

Interesting observations, Grizzly! I guess it's hard for us to tell what people's drinking patterns are behind closed doors. More people may struggle than we realize. There's such a stigma attached to "alcoholic" or even having a problem with alcohol in our society that we don't want to come out and talk about it (me included!)

I'm having so much anxiety tonight that I took 2 of my anti-anxiety meds. I need it. I'm worried about so many things - the orthodontist, money, my daughter's mental health and school situation, etc. This is what I'm supposed to do - take the meds when I'm feeling anxious (instead of drinking)!

Since my last relapse is so fresh in my mind, I just wanted to comment on something ridiculous that I do. Every single time that I drink, I somehow convince myself that I'm not going to have a hangover... THIS TIME. As in, "This time I'm going to do it right!" So I either buy a bottle and dump out 1/2 right away or just drink away and then decide to dump some out, etc. The last time I drank I couldn't bring myself to dump 1/2 right away - it was like I was thinking ahead and saying, "What if I don't WANT to stop after 1/2 a bottle?" And yet I some how convinced myself I wasn't going to get hungover and that I would be fine. The whole "super woman complex."

Well, I went to bed around 11:00 (I think) and I felt fine. I said to myself, "I feel fine! Maybe this time I'm not going to be hungover!" And then a little later, I still felt fine and was further convinced that I might have some how, against all odds, dodged a hangover. Then around 1:00 - 2:00 in the morning, it starting hitting. And it hit hard. The nausea, the hot flashes, the panicky feelings of doom, and they just kept getting worse as the night wore on. I didn't escape the hangover, once again it got me. It always does. I'm just so amazed that I have managed to convince myself time and time again that I'm not going to be hungover, and I'm more often than not dead wrong. Lesson for the day to be learned (by me ) - the hangover will always be there, and it will get you even worse than last time.

I hope everyone is doing well. I hope I have less anxiety tomorrow. And I'm never drinking again!!! End of Day 3.

Winslow

Hey all,wonderful posts by Juno and Grizz this morning, the hangover description would keep anyone off the grog! I'm still ok,not sleeping good still and that is just not good for my mood,anxiety,etc,I dunno what to do,I'm thinking its depression but I don't feel depressed,grrr,can't think of what it could be,anyways I hope we all have a nice Tuesday😊

Midton

Well I've been back at work for 3 days and back to earth with a bump. Basically work = cravings. My sleep pattern is messed up, I stayed up too late watching sport during the holidays, and I'm tired and strangely nervous during the day. Probably after a week of work I'll be back to normal.

grizzlybearblue

Yeah, I'm thinking you'll feel back to normal before you know it, Midton! Some days it's just one of those days.
We're all kind of frumpy around the same time, weird! Maybe it's the letdown after the holidays and trying to get back to a normal routine. It's rainy and cold here this week, and that is definitely not helping me. I planned on running after work this evening, but I haven't done it, and I'm not sure if I'm going to at this point. I've also thought about going to the 7:30 meeting, not sure about that yet either. I'll either do it or I won't do it, but I'm not going to make myself feel bad about it. If I don't go to the meeting, I will read, and that sounds so nice to cozy up with my book on this cold night.
Hang in there, gang, we're going to be just fine!!

Juno11

Hi everyone - was running around all day today. Don't like those kind of days, but hopefully tomorrow will be a little less taxing.

I had a dinner with a good friend tonight. She wasn't drinking wine so that made everything easier for me. We drank water. When our dinners were late, the waitress offered to bring us each a glass of champagne on the house. My friend declined and said she had to get up early in the morning and I declined and said I was driving (true). So then she offered us free dessert and we both declined that (a lot of fun we are!) so then we got one salad for free that we had already eaten. Bottom line, was great to see my friend, no drinking invovled, just good food. Tomorrow will be less crazy (one can hope!)

grizzlybearblue

Haha, that's funny, Juno! Good for you!!
I went to my meeting tonight. After my post earlier, I was thinking alright there were two things you planned on doing this evening, now you're ok with doing none? Atleast do half of what you planned to do! The meeting was really good. I'm glad I went. I finally did what I have been resisting doing for a long time now. I got a sponsor and made a plan to start working the steps. When I got home my significant other was like do you really need that? I'd rather have it and not need it then need it and not have it. It couldn't hurt. I'm definitely not looking forward to working the steps, but it will be good for me.

Juno11

Good morning - just saying hi before the day starts. It's a cold start to the day here. Not a big fan, but hey - it is winter! They say it will warm up with sun in the afternoon so that will be nice.

I'm not going into the office today. Will work a bit from home. Have a hair appointment and a therapy appointment for my son and HOPE to get to yoga or at least on the treadmill. That's the plan.

Day something or other. Need coffee to think a little more clearly

Winslow

Hey all,that is funny that we all seem to get punky around the same time Grizz,i think you're right on post holiday blues or the weather, its been rainy and grey here,I would have absolutely loved it if it had been this way on Christmas, now it makes for a long,slow,tiring workday,plus it reminds me of the end of last January when I was on a 10 day morning to night bender, rainy then too,so glad that's done with,Juno,hope your day is smooth,Midton,are you getting more into your routine? Sydney,we'd love to hear from you regardless of where your at,let's all make this a wonderful Wednesday😊

Juno11

Not a great day at all, really stressful. I keep telling myself that I wish I could go back to the blissful holidays, then I remember that I spent a night or two getting really familiar with my toilet and rekindling an unwanted relationship after a few drinks. Okay, maybe I don't want to go back to the holidays. I'll settle for the upcoming weekend.

Most of the stress had to do with my daughter's continued problems and my mother's reaction to them, which was not very supportive to me, kind of implying that I'm not doing enough/all that I can (i.e. being critical of me). With all the stress I'm under and everything I have tried for her (therapists (multiple), medication, psychiatrists, tutors, special schools, etc.) she of all people should know it's not easy to cure someone dealing with mental illness (of some sort). I got so angry I picked up a loaf of bread, screamed, threw it against the wall and knocked a picture off the wall. The picture can be fixed. Glad I didn't drink over this. Nothing is worth drinking over, nothing at all. Tomorrow is a new day.

grizzlybearblue

Sorry to hear about the rough day, winslow and juno. You're writing about it here instead of drinking over it which is huge progress!! Winslow, I hope our weather gets better soon! Juno, gosh, I don't know what to say. That's got to be so hard. You will definitely deal with it better sober and without hangovers. Keep venting here. You're doing great!
Sydneyman is planning to be back around the end of this month.
I don't have much to report. Good day at work then I ran on the treadmill. Not a good run, but I got it done. I have a lot of little things to do, none of which really take that long, but altogether it's a lot of stuff. I've been keeping a to do list going, and it feels good to cross things off, even though I just end up adding more stuff to it!