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Class of November 2015 Part 6

Old 12-08-2015, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by GoldenSands View Post
So I've been watching 1-2 Netflix movies every night. I feel gutted when I see someone pour a glass of wine in a movie. Will this feeling ever go away? Ugh
I never notice it now - so my answer is yes

D
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by GoldenSands View Post
So I've been watching 1-2 Netflix movies every night. I feel gutted when I see someone pour a glass of wine in a movie. Will this feeling ever go away? Ugh
I feel the opposite. Every time I see a drink or bar or anything to do with alcohol I get more of a sense of anger. I guess because I let it control my life so long, and the damage that was caused by my stupidity. :/ hope that goes away at some point too.
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:16 PM
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Hello everyone , Having a good day, I had to go to my mothers house and help her today , she has not been feeling well and her sisters came in from out of town to visit with her . I went over and cooked dinner for them today. I am soo happy that I didn't have to sober up, or go feeling hungover . it is a good feeling being in control . Thanks everyone for all our support ,
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:35 PM
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Originally Posted by GoldenSands View Post
So I've been watching 1-2 Netflix movies every night. I feel gutted when I see someone pour a glass of wine in a movie. Will this feeling ever go away? Ugh
I went bowling with my sons today and we usually order food and drinks (for my older son, not the 10 year old). Anyway, I walked into the bar and ordered the food and my son a beer, which I brought down to our lane. I told him I wasn't sure what he drank so I guessed ( he's not a big drinker) Anyway, he tasted it and said, " it's good, here taste it." I just looked at him. No really, you shoukd taste this!!!
Then the light went on!!!! He's all, "sorry I forgot...oh mom, it's day 30!!!! Congratulations!" Lol.
Anyway.... I went into a bar, ordered alcohol, and wasn't even slightly tempted. That's a step in the right direction because everytime I saw wine or read about it I would yearn!!!!
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Old 12-08-2015, 08:48 PM
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Denise, I'm glad you were able to help your mom out It is a great feeling to be in control!

The AV was kind of loud today. Thoughts about times when I would drink (holidays, dates, etc) popped up and the AV was trying to convince me it would be really nice to just be able to check out with alcohol. I don't think so, AV! Because if I drink to check out I will get very, very drunk and probably black out. And there is a very high chance that I will drive drunk and throw up in my sleep. I do not want to die by aspirating vomit! So, I don't think drinking is a good idea. I prefer to exercise and get my endorphins flowing - that is the only mood altering I want in my life!

Goldensands, I also crave when I am watching TV or a movie where people are drinking (especially the social cocktail hour kind of drinking). I try and stay away from that if I'm feeling vulnerable. But, as Dee said, it will go away Just give yourself a little time.
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Old 12-08-2015, 09:55 PM
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Wow! It was quiet around here today! I am just posting for the first time in 15 hours. Lost track of time & got busy! After I posted the class list this morning & got the kids off to school, I laid back down for "an hour". Well...it was supposed to be an hour! I woke up 5 hours later at 1:00 pm! I must need the sleep. Hopefully my body is healing.

Nearing the end of day 23. Got the Christmas cards done today, cleaned, ran errands, grocery shopped, exercised, made Christmas cookies & ran my kids around to all their activities. It's amazing how much I can get done in a day now that I'm not drinking!

Sooooooo.....I was thinking...the next few weeks may be hard for some people because of the holidays. Maybe we should start coming up with some ideas for extra support? I'm gonna double up in AA meetings & still remain very active here. WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

It's strange...I drank alone. I liked to drink and just "disappear" into my own little world. When I drank it felt like the only time my brain was quiet...until it wasn't. The holidays don't worry me personally because I could never drink the way I "wanted to" around family. It's AFTER the holidays that is dangerous for me because in the past, I have been notorious for saying "now it's MY turn" and disappearing several nights in a row to get trashed in pubs.

BUT...that's NOT gonna happen this year! Nope! I just really don't want to go back. It was miserable!

My sponsor & I are celebrating my 1 month sobriety birthday next Tuesday 12/15. We are going to lunch & then an AA meeting to get my 1 month coin. I'm really excited!

Anyway...I'm probably boring you guys to tears with my rambling! It sounds like everyone is doing well!

@Odelle-way to think that drink all the way through while decorating your Christmas tree!

@ultradad-the reason I used to not reach out for help BEFORE I drank was because I didn't want anyone to tell me not to drink. I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober. It wasn't until I got in enough emotional pain & started thinking about suicide on a daily basis that I was willing to do whatever it took to NOT drink. For me it was important that I quit for "myself"...if I would have tried to quit for anyone else it would have never worked. You're doing great & really asking the right questions. I can tell you really want sobriety ultradad!

@keepnitreal-congrats on 30 days! You really are doing amazing!!! I always love your comments!

@GoldenSands & SoberMarathon- my sponsor always says "don't quit until the miracle happens!" :-)

@ Patricia-you have really been sounding strong in your posts this week! You are doing a great job even with your husband shoving drinks in your face. Grrrrr. That's gotta be hard!

@Max-your are rolling right along! How are you feeling???

@SwimKim-I will never be fooled by my AV again either! My AV has lost all its power & I will never listen to it again!

@Jenses-welcome!!!!!!! :-)

@enfin-you are doing soooo great! I think treating yourself to a new haircut is awesome! Have you thought about getting a special tattoo on your 1 month sobriety anniversary that you could add to each sober month? I don't have any tattoos but it sounds kinda cool? Or not? Haha

@Supertired-you WILL have 30 days yourself in 16 days! Just don't drink no matter what! :-) you're doing great!

@Dee-even though your AV was dirty with you I'm glad you told it where to go!!!

@faithfulandfree-I've been really tired too! Doctor said its my body healing. It takes lots of energy! Look at it as a good thing & get as much rest as you can, drink lots of water & exercise.

@Badger-when I see alcohol I get angry too! I see it as an evil thing that tried to destroy my life!

@Deniselarkin-It IS a great feeling to be present & in CONTROL! Alcohol takes our power away...I took mine back!

Nite all!!!!!! :-) zzzzzzzz
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Old 12-09-2015, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Healthygoals View Post
Day 2. Slept but crazy nightmares involving giant alligators chasing people to eat in the streets, WTH? Need to go get some coffee and shake off the cob webs!

Will check in later when I have more time.

Sutures coming out of the finger today but the pin stays in and the cast stays on for 4 more weeks.

Off and running!
I has this awful dream last night where the ex was serving up cookies and selling them. The cookies were made out of dead people. Daughter was eating them. Totally weird and totally disturbing.
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Old 12-09-2015, 12:32 AM
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Day 26. 2:18am.

I am so super tired and at work. I had final exams today. (Nursing) Good news I passed first semester ... 1/5 of the way done. now for a month of R & R.

Yes kiki, we should start planning for abstaining this holiday season. Hmm... for me...

I've decided not to go to the work party.

In town family celebration on xmas morning. Sober dad. Rest of family won't want to drink so early.

I work New Years Eve, so safe there.

Only real booze fest will be extended family xmas on the 26th. I'll bring my own bev and keep SR very close. Mom tends to get really upset if I miss Christmas, so that's not really an option. Especially with my grandfather being in poor health. Every single one of my family members will be drinking. Except the children of course. There is a good idea, I'll focus on the children.

Wishing you all well. I can't believe I'm coming up on a month! Thought I'd never reach this again. I want this life more than ever. I'm beginning to like myself again.
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Old 12-09-2015, 03:08 AM
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Have a great day everyone! Woke up before the sun for the first time in a long time. It's a beautiful cold crisp morning, nothing to be heard except the low thuds of a container ship being unloaded at the docks. Just beautiful
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Old 12-09-2015, 03:16 AM
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[QUOTE=bblackbirdflyy;5681204]Day 26. 2:18am.

I am so super tired

Me too!!!

Also, thanks for the words of encouragement Kiki , means a lot : )
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Old 12-09-2015, 04:14 AM
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Quick check in, Dad got admitted to the hospital, mom turns 80 today, still have to deal with life and work, gonna be a long day! Wish I could just go back to bed...
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Old 12-09-2015, 04:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Healthygoals View Post
Quick check in, Dad got admitted to the hospital, mom turns 80 today, still have to deal with life and work, gonna be a long day! Wish I could just go back to bed...
I hope your dad is ok healthy! Just take today 1 minute at a time if you need to.
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Old 12-09-2015, 04:35 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Sooooooo.....I was thinking...the next few weeks may be hard for some people because of the holidays. Maybe we should start coming up with some ideas for extra support? I'm gonna double up in AA meetings & still remain very active here. WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?
Kiki...can you tell us more about the positives you get from attending AA? My counselor is pushing 12 steps on me and I'm not so convinced. I'm considering attending an AA alternative such as SMART but not sure I'm ready for any of that yet. Definitely not considering relapse and am very motivated to stay on track but do want to have the tools to get through the tough situations that lie ahead sober.

Thanks for your support everyone!
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Old 12-09-2015, 04:38 AM
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Good Morning class! It's Wednesday, December 9, 2015! WELCOME JENSES!!! Have a great sober day!

We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!

*Canguy -31 days
*HealthyGoals - 3 days
*Me (KiKi) -24 days
*Patricia -working her butt off! :-)
*StrangeAngel-working her butt off too!!! :-)
*Pams -24 days
*GoldenSands -25 days
*CurlyGirl -34 days
*KeepNitreal -31 days
*BlackBirdFly -25 days
*Noolan -20 days
*SwimKim - 15 days
*MeShelly -25 days
*Thumbelina -40 days
*WalkTheLine-19 days
*Supertired -14 days
*Max74 -39 days
*DariaM -3 days
*ForeverFuzzy -20 days
*Jemma44 -31 days
*Blondsober -17 days
*Snowvelvet -35 days
*GoldCoastGirl -18 days
*Badger257 -25 days
*Odelle -18 days
*Tufty13 -38 days
*TryinginTexas - 25 days
*Onetimeless -33 days
*Chicklet -2 days
*Dallow - 17 days
*Learntofly -46 days
*Faithfulandfree - 11 days
*Tootsiesdad -31 days
*SoberMarathon -17 days
*Introspectator- 24 days
*RedAndy -25 days
*Rah555 -16 days
*Alphonse -22 days
*amitranjan04 -15 days
*ultradad -3 days
*got2stopnow -17 days
*Fabat50 -32 days
*Enfinthechange -12 days
*SilentCinemaFan -12 days
*VanillaChaiTea -12 days
*Deniselarkin -12 days
*Augusta1893 -12 days
*Determined82 -12 Days
*Mish - 12 days
*Missy7 -12 days
*Paul37 -11 days
*Tatersalad -12 days
*FacingFuture-? days
*IronPhoenix -? days
*Beautifulpines -not counting days :-)
*Dustmeoff -19 days-Welcome!!!
*Jenses-14 days

*****REMEMBER*****
All we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...

P.S. For those of you who had a slip, we love & care about you. We need you here with us. Please stay. You have become family...CYBER FAMILY! <3 xo
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:14 AM
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Good morning Class. It was quiet here yesterday. I'm with the majority of today's posts, super tired! Time to clean up my diet. Anyone else here feel worse the next day following a sugar binge? My pattern is noticeable, so I am going to focus on eliminating ice cream and non-essential snacking. I had my husband test my blood sugar yesterday after dinner (spaghetti) and it was quite low (98) which may explain the fatigue. Frequent, small meals combining protein and low-glycemic carbs is what is recommended for hypoglycemia, so starting today, that is my goal.

I counted 12 classmates that have hit or passed the 30 day mark - Wow, talk about impressive and inspirational! Congratulations to everyone adding another day to their sobriety belt!
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Supertired View Post
Me too!
lol. The subconscious is a funny thing. Well supertired my super tired butt finally gets to go to bed. 24 hour days are killer. Not doing it next semester.
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:19 AM
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Thank's KiKi for all you do! You're body must have really needed the rest : )

Healthygoals, I hope your dad is okay and wishing you the best, life can be hard!

I hope everyone else is doing great! I'm a CrossFit instructor so my job starts at the break of dawn where I teach 3 classes and then have the rest of the day off till the afternoon where I go in and teach 3 more classes...the schedule sucks, but it's a job and I love coaching. Most mornings I run home from work (3 miles) and it gives me time to meditate and think, this morning I decided that I HATE this disease and I can see where I let my guard down before and stopped looking at it as a disease and as something else...I think once we stop looking at it as a disease we tend to lie to ourselves and start trying to figure out ways to drink 'normal.' At least that's what it seems like happen to me. Now that I have refocused my outlook and view/perception of this horrible disease I am once again becoming repulsed by the very sight of alcohol and it frustrates me to see other people glorify it. My passion is trail and Ultra running and drinking craft beer seems to go hand and hand with the trail running culture...I tried my best to be part of it and/or just laugh it off, but I have to be honest with myself and others! Anyway, just my thoughts this morning and hopefully I can keep this focus, especially when that AV comes calling...

Have a great, sober day everyone!!!
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:19 AM
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DAY 12

Been AWOL for a day or 2 because I've been ridiculously busy and I have flu, so by the time I get home I'm KO'd. Have to say having the flu has reduced urges which is about the only positive I can think of for my current condition
Considering my DOC it is quite surprising that I cannot bare to be bunged up. I woke up at 2am this morning not able to breathe out of my nose so proceeded to start jumping up and down on the bed (to my husbands extreme annoyance) and when that didn't work I ran up and down the stairs until I was clear... Crazy lol!
In other news I'm so glad that my lovely classmates who have recently had slips chose to stay here, Ultradad, Healthygoals (sorry for the ones I've missed). As stated above we are family and I don't want to lose a single class mate.
Hope we all get through the next 24 hours with ease. Speak soon class
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Good morning Class. It was quiet here yesterday. I'm with the majority of today's posts, super tired! Time to clean up my diet. Anyone else here feel worse the next day following a sugar binge? My pattern is noticeable, so I am going to focus on eliminating ice cream and non-essential snacking. I had my husband test my blood sugar yesterday after dinner (spaghetti) and it was quite low (98) which may explain the fatigue. Frequent, small meals combining protein and low-glycemic carbs is what is recommended for hypoglycemia, so starting today, that is my goal.

I counted 12 classmates that have hit or passed the 30 day mark - Wow, talk about impressive and inspirational! Congratulations to everyone adding another day to their sobriety belt!
Odelle, I need to get on track with a healthy diet as well. I just know when I'm eating right and exercising my mood and confidence is so much better.

But dang I love mexican food.
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:23 AM
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Odelle and Blackbird, I literally just started a Whole 30 yesterday trying to get my nutrition back on track! I did soooo much better when exercising and eating healthy! Good luck to you both!
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