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Class of November 2015 Part 6

Old 12-15-2015, 05:15 PM
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Sorry, typing on my phone. I was sober for almost 3.5 years before I relapsed in March 2014. Then relapsed again in May 2015 after my baby was born.

Sober today
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Old 12-15-2015, 05:32 PM
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Exhausted from work and holiday preparations. In pj's snuggled on the couch with my sweetie. Staying sober, going to bed early.

Thanks for the support class.
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Old 12-15-2015, 05:40 PM
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Congrats Kiki and Pams

Yes! I was at the emergency room visiting a friend the other night & I am 99.999% sure the doctor smelled like vodka! I KNOW she did! Vodka smells! :-(
could it have been medical alcohol tho?

D
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Old 12-15-2015, 06:37 PM
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Night all. Day 25 done!!
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Old 12-15-2015, 07:35 PM
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Thanks for all the kind words everyone! I got my 1 month coin & it felt great! I'm gonna keep working my butt off to stay sober!

I'm praying for all of you! We are stronger together!!! :-)
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Old 12-15-2015, 08:16 PM
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Evening, All. Thank you for the support! I am feeling a bit better. I forced myself to go to the gym after work because I was feeling really down. Of course working out made me feel better I am thinking a lot about what the doctor said. She asked me why I haven't told anyone about my relapse the last four months. That made me think. I didn't tell my parents because we really never talked about me quitting (other than when I sent a text saying I was) and I didn't want to worry them. Especially my mom. And I never told friends because I didn't really want to come to terms with my relapse; I just wanted to pretend everything is okay. I think that's the issue - I need to DEAL with what happened and what will happen if I ever drink again.

I am not thrilled about being put on more meds, but I have another appointment in three weeks to see how I am responding to them. And my doctor strongly recommended seeing a psychiatrist next month which is a good idea (especially bc of the meds).

I just need to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, which is long-term sobriety. That's what I want.
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Old 12-15-2015, 08:34 PM
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Evening all----I almost drank tonight after 38 days! What a frightening thought. I did an annual Christmas stocking shopping trip with my sons GF. While we were at the store she made a comment about getting some champagne for our cookie marathon on Saturday and also for Christmas Day. I didn't really respond so She then asked if I was still not drinking. I told her I wasn't so she dropped it.
At that point we were starving so we decided to go out for dinner. Before we got there I had the most intense craving. I just wanted to have a drink with my girl and have fun and laugh. I put it in check, but 5 minutes later while we were on our way it returned. It took my breath away. It was so scary and unexpected that I wish I had SR on my iPhone. I put my AV in check before we went inside.
Anyway, we sat and I ordered club soda and she ordered ice tea. I let her know it was fine if she wanted a drink because that didn't bother me (and other people drinking really doesn't) and she really wanted to make sure it was ok because she didn't want to disrespect me or make things hard. I assured her it was fine and our dinner was nice.
All I can say is never think you've got this disease licked!!!

KIR
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:14 PM
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Swimkim...why does the Dr insist you notify family and friends whether you are drinking or sober? I'm not a big fan of making any announcements since they tend to backfire in my experience. Unless you rely heavily on these people for day-to-day support, I wouldn't bother giving them any updates unless they come out and ask. In my case, I recognize that this is my problem, I need to deal with it on my own with help from professionals and others in recovery. Just my two cents...
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:20 PM
  # 389 (permalink)  
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SM the way I read it, the Drs not saying tell everyone, more why hasn't kim told anyone - I think that's a pretty important distinction?

D
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:53 PM
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Yeah, she wanted me to tell one person I trusted so that they could support me. But it made me realize I haven't told ANYONE about my relapse, even though I told friends and family that I quit drinking back in April. I think the take-home message is support is key for recovery!
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Old 12-15-2015, 11:56 PM
  # 391 (permalink)  
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KIR - Good job for telling that AV to shut up! 38 days is awesome!!

Just another reminder for you what waits if you pick up that drink - I had horrible nightmares again. Included both an awful ex and a terrorist attack on my family trapped in a building. Woah. So happy to wake up safe.

Now for some morning coffee with a clear head. Slowly getting stronger again Have a nice day everyone!
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Old 12-16-2015, 03:28 AM
  # 392 (permalink)  
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Well done everyone for their sober days and getting over their own personal challenges, especially when it comes to ignoring their AVs.

My AV has been ominously quiet although it has started to whisper to me about being able to drink at social events in the future. It's very keen to allow me to imbibe a couple of pints of bitter in a pub garden during the summer months. One for me to watch.

I've survived the last two weeks being alone in the house without my children and haven't had a drink so I'm happy about that.

My twins are heading home for Christmas, I'm picking them up from their mum's tomorrow, a week earlier than expected. They messaged me last night to ask me to come and get them as soon as possible as their mum is not tolerating the anguish my bereaved daughter is going through after her boyfriend died last week.

My ex is a fabulous mother and indeed a wonderful person but she just doesn't "do" emotions. She was brought up in a very British and very Victorian way where you just stuff it all down, don't show any signs of weakness and just get on with life as if nothing has happened but all my daughter wants is to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

I'm looking forward to having them home but am nervous myself as how to handle her grieving. I understand that she's not eating at the moment and neither is her identical twin who is showing solidarity in the face of their mother's demands to just "get over it".

My other two daughters are making their way to me on Friday so at least all four of them will be together and helping each other through this. My 18 month old granddaughter will be providing light entertainment no doubt, so at least there will be some laughter.

On top of all this my mother phoned me last night to say that the fist sized lump that appeared on her neck last month has been diagnosed as "requiring an immediate procedure". So without anyone saying the C-word I'm assuming that's the case.

Well folks, apologies for the long post......if ever there was a time to be grateful for my own sobriety and for reasons not to drink, I think this is it.
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:23 AM
  # 393 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
SM the way I read it, the Drs not saying tell everyone, more why hasn't kim told anyone - I think that's a pretty important distinction? D
Yep, agreed. I guess selecting who you tell and who you don't might be the tricky part. In my case, it's like crying wolf a bit since I've told my parents at least 3-4x during the past few years that I've quit drinking, only to go back to it time after time. This time around, only my wife and my best friend know about my efforts and I plan to keep it this way until I have some serious sobriety under my belt, otherwise people won't take me seriously!
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:28 AM
  # 394 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SwimKim12 View Post
Yeah, she wanted me to tell one person I trusted so that they could support me. But it made me realize I haven't told ANYONE about my relapse, even though I told friends and family that I quit drinking back in April. I think the take-home message is support is key for recovery!
Support is definitely a key part in this process...to be honest, I get more here from strangers in recovery then from anyone in my daily face-to-face world.
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Old 12-16-2015, 05:21 AM
  # 395 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
Support is definitely a key part in this process...to be honest, I get more here from strangers in recovery then from anyone in my daily face-to-face world.
Me too! I don't know where I'd been without SR. It's so good to know it's more or less 24/7 support, and it's so easy to reach so many. And it's also a blessing to get to follow all the positive changes people are doing. And humbling to see how we can fall only to be risen up again with the support that is here. Probably the kindest and most understanding place on the internet.
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Old 12-16-2015, 05:27 AM
  # 396 (permalink)  
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Morning all! Wow KIR! That was close! I've had a few of those cravings that take your breath away in the past week & they scare the sh-t out of me! Great job shutting it down! Your sober muscles are stronger because of it!

Everyone is doing great & staying so strong! I'm proud to be part of the November class!

1 month + 1 day for me. Feeling better & better each day but will NEVER let my guard down!

Have a great sober day! :-)
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Old 12-16-2015, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Evening all----I almost drank tonight after 38 days! What a frightening thought. I did an annual Christmas stocking shopping trip with my sons GF. While we were at the store she made a comment about getting some champagne for our cookie marathon on Saturday and also for Christmas Day. I didn't really respond so She then asked if I was still not drinking. I told her I wasn't so she dropped it.
At that point we were starving so we decided to go out for dinner. Before we got there I had the most intense craving. I just wanted to have a drink with my girl and have fun and laugh. I put it in check, but 5 minutes later while we were on our way it returned. It took my breath away. It was so scary and unexpected that I wish I had SR on my iPhone. I put my AV in check before we went inside.
Anyway, we sat and I ordered club soda and she ordered ice tea. I let her know it was fine if she wanted a drink because that didn't bother me (and other people drinking really doesn't) and she really wanted to make sure it was ok because she didn't want to disrespect me or make things hard. I assured her it was fine and our dinner was nice.
All I can say is never think you've got this disease licked!!!

KIR
Way to push through KIR! I know that feeling and it is extremely scary! I think it shows great progress on your part for recognizing it and shutting it down before it got out of hand! Awesome!!!
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:34 AM
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Feeling really good today - can't put my finger on it but it's like something has just clicked, got a spring back in my step that I've not had for the last month and also feel like I've got my confidence back somewhat.

A couple of posts and threads that have resonated with me last night and got me thinking, also some further reading and everything just seems so much clearer and to make more sense.

15th Nov to 15th December have been somewhat of a roller coaster to say the least and I expect there's going to be more ups and downs along the way but I've definitely not had this feeling for a while and want to ensure its something I keep hold of and focus on.

Ordered the book Rational Recovery also today which comes tomorrow so will be getting my head stuck into that, AV is not happy but who cares what he thinks, I am in control of this and will not be swayed under any circumstances - agree with you there Kiki, no letting the guard down !!

Thanks to everyone who has helped me through what's been a somewhat difficult month, support / advice and general empathy on here has been fantastic, respect to all. I can guarantee you people who know me (the old me that is) would not expect any such words or thoughts to be typed by yours truly.

I can categorically say I don't drink or do drugs anymore and never will.
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:51 AM
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RedAndy, congratulations on one month! I am glad to hear you are doing well.

I woke up with the weight of what happened yesterday still on me. I'm scared to talk to my parents bc I know I'll just cry the whole time and probably make them cry and I don't do well with crying! But I have to tell them bc my insurance doesn't cover mental health services so I may need them to help me pay for the psychiatrist. Deep breath! I will be okay.

Okay, time to get to work. Have a great day everyone!
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:05 AM
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Good luck SwimKim hope everything works out for you with your chat with your parents, sure it will be fine and they'll be glad you've spoken to them and will only want to help you get things sorted.
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