Class of November 2015 Part 6
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 
That's amazing! I get a "natural high" from snow skiing, roller blading, hiking, exercise, kick boxing, mountain biking etc. love it!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest usa
Posts: 13
Checking in
Last drink was three weeks ago today. Still very tired but a small price to pay for the benefits. Two nights ago I drove to a friends house and played pool for a couple hours. One line I never crossed was driving drunk so driving in the evening has not been an option for a very long time, it felt liberating. The little things, right?
And thanks Kiki, for reminding us of the big things. Happy weekend to all.
And thanks Kiki, for reminding us of the big things. Happy weekend to all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 365
Up at 8 am on a Saturday AGAIN! And sprung out of bed. Feeling about as good as I can even remember feeling. Long may it continue.
Still prone to some pretty intense mood swings in the evenings but they too shall pass in time I believe.
Amazing.
I've found myself mentally repeating the words "I'm a non drinker" like 100 times a day. Kind of like a mantra now.
Little behaviours like that are gonna be what makes the difference. That and reading here religiously will reinforce the new reality of my life.
Imbracing the positives of this new life and not spending any energy thinking about what I'm "missing out on". A night at the bar is the same night repeated as infinitum. A part of me is really grateful that I got to this point , so that at least I can get on with life and put all that wasted time and those ******** drunk conversations behind me. Actually follow through on some of the thousand drunk plans I formulated but never did anything about. I can put my life into action , instead of being permanently stalled out on a bar stool or the bathroom stall. Surrounded by people who only value my company as a pretext to not drink or do coke alone .
Yuck
Still prone to some pretty intense mood swings in the evenings but they too shall pass in time I believe.
Amazing.
I've found myself mentally repeating the words "I'm a non drinker" like 100 times a day. Kind of like a mantra now.
Little behaviours like that are gonna be what makes the difference. That and reading here religiously will reinforce the new reality of my life.
Imbracing the positives of this new life and not spending any energy thinking about what I'm "missing out on". A night at the bar is the same night repeated as infinitum. A part of me is really grateful that I got to this point , so that at least I can get on with life and put all that wasted time and those ******** drunk conversations behind me. Actually follow through on some of the thousand drunk plans I formulated but never did anything about. I can put my life into action , instead of being permanently stalled out on a bar stool or the bathroom stall. Surrounded by people who only value my company as a pretext to not drink or do coke alone .
Yuck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by canguy
Morning class......hi from over the horizon on a Saturday morning . Saturday mornings are a reward for the Friday nights.....
Patricia......you sound much better, you've done great. You have come a long way from how you sounded a few weeks back.
Enfin, sure, but there's gotta be something better than 30 years of dull sobriety as a future.
Last night I wanted to drink. Not really a physical craving....more wanting to escape that flat downer feeling .....wanting to zip it all up for a bit.
I think it was Frank Sinatra who said he felt ".... sorry for people who don't drink. Because when they wake up that's as good as they're going to feel all day".
It's a dark joke. Its the alcoholic version of reality......alcohol teaches you that your just 30 minutes or so away from feeling so much brighter, really good, up. Instead of this flat, boring, lonely (insert whatever) state of the moment.
Sober seems to be about accepting that its going to feel like that from time to time. Learning that its not a permanent state, it'll pass. Last night I could have drank to feel better for a while. Today would be written off..... Sat it out with dark chocolate and bad tv....slept and this morning came around, bright fresh, feeling way better.
Takes a while to unlearn all the old stuff tho....
Big group of ppl hitting 3 weeks today on Kiki's list.......congrats to all of you.
Patricia......you sound much better, you've done great. You have come a long way from how you sounded a few weeks back.
Enfin, sure, but there's gotta be something better than 30 years of dull sobriety as a future.
Last night I wanted to drink. Not really a physical craving....more wanting to escape that flat downer feeling .....wanting to zip it all up for a bit.
I think it was Frank Sinatra who said he felt ".... sorry for people who don't drink. Because when they wake up that's as good as they're going to feel all day".
It's a dark joke. Its the alcoholic version of reality......alcohol teaches you that your just 30 minutes or so away from feeling so much brighter, really good, up. Instead of this flat, boring, lonely (insert whatever) state of the moment.
Sober seems to be about accepting that its going to feel like that from time to time. Learning that its not a permanent state, it'll pass. Last night I could have drank to feel better for a while. Today would be written off..... Sat it out with dark chocolate and bad tv....slept and this morning came around, bright fresh, feeling way better.
Takes a while to unlearn all the old stuff tho....
Big group of ppl hitting 3 weeks today on Kiki's list.......congrats to all of you.
"Saturday mornings are a reward for the Friday nights....." absolutely loved this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by TryingInTexas
half-marathon is sunday. yes i'm walking a good chunk of it but i'm on-target. got the packet today. and it'll be day 29 what better way to mark that day . . .
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Well done folks on resisting... I too find the sheer excitement of making it to Friday a trigger... I need reward and excitement. ...
Instead I'm icing a cake, listening to radio 6, and being bored. My husband is upstairs reading.im lonely and to be honest, quite . frustrated. ... is this it???
At least in the pub you get camaraderie, affection, and fun... even if your liver is ruined and your hangover kills you. I don't want to drink and I'm not going to... but sheesh.... it's going to be lonely and I'm going to need to be sober to keep a tight lid on my feelings for the next 30 years. Must suppress everything now! Sensible and boring is they way forward. ..
Maybe this will pass top and I will become someone else....
Happy weekend folks... xx
Jee, sorry for the miserable post!
Instead I'm icing a cake, listening to radio 6, and being bored. My husband is upstairs reading.im lonely and to be honest, quite . frustrated. ... is this it???
At least in the pub you get camaraderie, affection, and fun... even if your liver is ruined and your hangover kills you. I don't want to drink and I'm not going to... but sheesh.... it's going to be lonely and I'm going to need to be sober to keep a tight lid on my feelings for the next 30 years. Must suppress everything now! Sensible and boring is they way forward. ..
Maybe this will pass top and I will become someone else....
Happy weekend folks... xx
Jee, sorry for the miserable post!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
I once read that whatever you do on Saturday mornings is your true passion. I'm heading out the door now for a nice run now so maybe this is my true passion. It certainly beats sitting on the couch hungover drinking 3-4 coffees to make the pain go away!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
Good to hear some of us have found that natural high again 
I also have that in me, I know that. I love skiing, jogging, working out, riding a bike, driving...all of it. Sometimes I just seem to go for the easy way - some kind of hatred and then drinks...well, I know where it will end. Better to try to stay strong.
I also have that in me, I know that. I love skiing, jogging, working out, riding a bike, driving...all of it. Sometimes I just seem to go for the easy way - some kind of hatred and then drinks...well, I know where it will end. Better to try to stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Hi everyone, nearing the end of day 26. Been really busy lately and soooo tired. I haven't gotten to log on here as much as I would like. I just feel like I can never catch up on everything I need to do.
I read everyone's posts from the day & it sounds like everyone is doing well with the exception of some "euphoric recall" and "whispering AV's" telling you life will suck without alcohol. (Huge lie!)
Here are my thoughts: If we drink there will be no life to "suck" because the alcohol will kill us. For example, there is a young girl (late 20's) in my AA meeting who also thought she was missing the "fun" so she started drinking again and now she's on the liver transplant list. She just woke up one day and was bright yellow. She may not live. :-(
My husbands aunt and a neighbor lady died from liver failure last year and they were young too. Everyone says "livers are very resilient and heal". BUT at some point alcoholics cross an invisible line and the liver just stops working. (Not to mention the many other horrible health problems caused by it).
Sooooo....you could drink tonight and have "fun" and walk into the bathroom tomorrow morning to brush your teeth, look in the mirror and see a yellow face! The whites of your eyes could be yellow too. You drank one too many drinks. Your liver was hanging on by a thread and that last drink just made it shut down.
You go to the doctor and he tells you you need a year of sobriety to get placed on the liver transplant list. BUT...you can't live that long without a new liver & you need it now! It's a death sentence.
You go home and realize that you are dying. There will be no more drinks, no more pubs, no more "fun", no more breaths, no more life. It's over. You've gone too far. Your body gave up.
This exact story happened to my husbands aunt, our neighbor and the girl from the AA meeting on the transplant list. Even if they give her a new liver...she still may not live. :-(
After reading that did your AV shut up? I hope so! Mine sure as heck did! My AV whispers too! It tells me all that same things yours does. The farther away we get from our last drink the closer we are to the next because alcoholics have extremely quick forgetters! Don't forget guys! Don't die! I want to live and I want all of you to live too. Love you guys! :-)
I read everyone's posts from the day & it sounds like everyone is doing well with the exception of some "euphoric recall" and "whispering AV's" telling you life will suck without alcohol. (Huge lie!)
Here are my thoughts: If we drink there will be no life to "suck" because the alcohol will kill us. For example, there is a young girl (late 20's) in my AA meeting who also thought she was missing the "fun" so she started drinking again and now she's on the liver transplant list. She just woke up one day and was bright yellow. She may not live. :-(
My husbands aunt and a neighbor lady died from liver failure last year and they were young too. Everyone says "livers are very resilient and heal". BUT at some point alcoholics cross an invisible line and the liver just stops working. (Not to mention the many other horrible health problems caused by it).
Sooooo....you could drink tonight and have "fun" and walk into the bathroom tomorrow morning to brush your teeth, look in the mirror and see a yellow face! The whites of your eyes could be yellow too. You drank one too many drinks. Your liver was hanging on by a thread and that last drink just made it shut down.
You go to the doctor and he tells you you need a year of sobriety to get placed on the liver transplant list. BUT...you can't live that long without a new liver & you need it now! It's a death sentence.
You go home and realize that you are dying. There will be no more drinks, no more pubs, no more "fun", no more breaths, no more life. It's over. You've gone too far. Your body gave up.
This exact story happened to my husbands aunt, our neighbor and the girl from the AA meeting on the transplant list. Even if they give her a new liver...she still may not live. :-(
After reading that did your AV shut up? I hope so! Mine sure as heck did! My AV whispers too! It tells me all that same things yours does. The farther away we get from our last drink the closer we are to the next because alcoholics have extremely quick forgetters! Don't forget guys! Don't die! I want to live and I want all of you to live too. Love you guys! :-)
His dad died a similar death, it just took longer. I always tell myself that I'll stop before I get to that point, but in reality who know's when that point is...stopping right now, for good, is our best chance of surviving this disease. Ironically, I woke up with huge cravings this morning...something about the cool, fall weather, football, UFC fights and pretty much anything else sometimes that just triggers that AV...
Sometimes I feel like it's my destiny to die a drunk like all the men in my family...how messed up is that???
Have a great one everybody!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by SoberMarathon
I once read that whatever you do on Saturday mornings is your true passion. I'm heading out the door now for a nice run now so maybe this is my true passion. It certainly beats sitting on the couch hungover drinking 3-4 coffees to make the pain go away!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by ultradad
Wow, thank's KiKi...this exact same scenario is what happened to my dad! His liver just shut down after one too many drinks. He was placed on the list for a liver transplant, but never made it. I got a call in the middle of the night that he was rushed to the ER where he was spewing up blood and he died that night alone and a horrible death. Three days later my step mom asked my brother and I to clean out his bedroom and in the closet we found a freshly bought case of beer with 4 beers missing! He just couldn't stop! He was only 51.
His dad died a similar death, it just took longer. I always tell myself that I'll stop before I get to that point, but in reality who know's when that point is...stopping right now, for good, is our best chance of surviving this disease. Ironically, I woke up with huge cravings this morning...something about the cool, fall weather, football, UFC fights and pretty much anything else sometimes that just triggers that AV...
Sometimes I feel like it's my destiny to die a drunk like all the men in my family...how messed up is that???
Have a great one everybody!!!
His dad died a similar death, it just took longer. I always tell myself that I'll stop before I get to that point, but in reality who know's when that point is...stopping right now, for good, is our best chance of surviving this disease. Ironically, I woke up with huge cravings this morning...something about the cool, fall weather, football, UFC fights and pretty much anything else sometimes that just triggers that AV...
Sometimes I feel like it's my destiny to die a drunk like all the men in my family...how messed up is that???
Have a great one everybody!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
Well. Trying to be sober you are thinking about your life, right? I've had heads-up about my drinking since I was around 20. Now I am 32. I am starting to understand it's like an all or nothing decision. But I can't really seem to get it. Sometimes I see those hard-core drinkers who lived well into their 60s or 70s. But really, who knows? People have passed away in their twenties and who am I to have all the luck? I guess I was lucky to made it this far - but in a couple of years, who knows?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Originally Posted by ultradad
I'm about to do the same SM! Funny, I usually do a long run or hike on Saturday mornings or I'm sipping that three cups of coffee trying to make the pain go away and WISHING I hadn't drank so I could go run!!! Enjoy your run!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Morning check in, 3 weeks today, yea! Still tired and just not feeling well, but knowing this is just part of the healing process keeps me going. Well done on all of our sober running classmates, you've got this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Hi everyone, nearing the end of day 26. Been really busy lately and soooo tired. I haven't gotten to log on here as much as I would like. I just feel like I can never catch up on everything I need to do.
I read everyone's posts from the day & it sounds like everyone is doing well with the exception of some "euphoric recall" and "whispering AV's" telling you life will suck without alcohol. (Huge lie!)
Here are my thoughts: If we drink there will be no life to "suck" because the alcohol will kill us. For example, there is a young girl (late 20's) in my AA meeting who also thought she was missing the "fun" so she started drinking again and now she's on the liver transplant list. She just woke up one day and was bright yellow. She may not live. :-(
My husbands aunt and a neighbor lady died from liver failure last year and they were young too. Everyone says "livers are very resilient and heal". BUT at some point alcoholics cross an invisible line and the liver just stops working. (Not to mention the many other horrible health problems caused by it).
Sooooo....you could drink tonight and have "fun" and walk into the bathroom tomorrow morning to brush your teeth, look in the mirror and see a yellow face! The whites of your eyes could be yellow too. You drank one too many drinks. Your liver was hanging on by a thread and that last drink just made it shut down.
You go to the doctor and he tells you you need a year of sobriety to get placed on the liver transplant list. BUT...you can't live that long without a new liver & you need it now! It's a death sentence.
You go home and realize that you are dying. There will be no more drinks, no more pubs, no more "fun", no more breaths, no more life. It's over. You've gone too far. Your body gave up.
This exact story happened to my husbands aunt, our neighbor and the girl from the AA meeting on the transplant list. Even if they give her a new liver...she still may not live. :-(
After reading that did your AV shut up? I hope so! Mine sure as heck did! My AV whispers too! It tells me all that same things yours does. The farther away we get from our last drink the closer we are to the next because alcoholics have extremely quick forgetters! Don't forget guys! Don't die! I want to live and I want all of you to live too. Love you guys! :-)
I read everyone's posts from the day & it sounds like everyone is doing well with the exception of some "euphoric recall" and "whispering AV's" telling you life will suck without alcohol. (Huge lie!)
Here are my thoughts: If we drink there will be no life to "suck" because the alcohol will kill us. For example, there is a young girl (late 20's) in my AA meeting who also thought she was missing the "fun" so she started drinking again and now she's on the liver transplant list. She just woke up one day and was bright yellow. She may not live. :-(
My husbands aunt and a neighbor lady died from liver failure last year and they were young too. Everyone says "livers are very resilient and heal". BUT at some point alcoholics cross an invisible line and the liver just stops working. (Not to mention the many other horrible health problems caused by it).
Sooooo....you could drink tonight and have "fun" and walk into the bathroom tomorrow morning to brush your teeth, look in the mirror and see a yellow face! The whites of your eyes could be yellow too. You drank one too many drinks. Your liver was hanging on by a thread and that last drink just made it shut down.
You go to the doctor and he tells you you need a year of sobriety to get placed on the liver transplant list. BUT...you can't live that long without a new liver & you need it now! It's a death sentence.
You go home and realize that you are dying. There will be no more drinks, no more pubs, no more "fun", no more breaths, no more life. It's over. You've gone too far. Your body gave up.
This exact story happened to my husbands aunt, our neighbor and the girl from the AA meeting on the transplant list. Even if they give her a new liver...she still may not live. :-(
After reading that did your AV shut up? I hope so! Mine sure as heck did! My AV whispers too! It tells me all that same things yours does. The farther away we get from our last drink the closer we are to the next because alcoholics have extremely quick forgetters! Don't forget guys! Don't die! I want to live and I want all of you to live too. Love you guys! :-)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All! Great posts this morning Lots of hope!
Odelle, congrats on three weeks! Woo-hoo!
Ultradad, my AV has also tried to convince me that drinking is my destiny. It tells me that giving in to drinking will just be easier. But it is wrong!
I'm grateful for my sober Saturday mornings. Not too much planned this weekend, just relaxing, some shopping, cooking, cleaning and swimming! I hope you all have a good one!
Lots of hope!Odelle, congrats on three weeks! Woo-hoo!
Ultradad, my AV has also tried to convince me that drinking is my destiny. It tells me that giving in to drinking will just be easier. But it is wrong!
I'm grateful for my sober Saturday mornings. Not too much planned this weekend, just relaxing, some shopping, cooking, cleaning and swimming! I hope you all have a good one!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 154
I just reread my post about the holidays and my sucky family etc. It sounded pretty depressing. It's really not that bad. Every year I go through a nostalgic/grieving process during the holidays and my post on SR was part of it. My husband and I started our own traditions after my Mom passed away, so I have plenty to look forward to during the holidays. Thank you so much for the hugs and suggestions...it did help get me through my process.
I am coming up on 30 days. That's pretty exciting and my brain doesn't really know how to comprehend that. It's kind of hard to believe that I am actually doing this!
So it's time to get on top of another issue hanging over my head...this whole school thing. I have 6 weeks to finish a course that has been hanging over my head forever. I sat down, made my plan yesterday and maybe I just need to apply the skills I have been using for the last almost 30 days....just do it. Don't overthink it, just do it. And maybe I can start undoing the self-defeating cycle with my course, the same way I am undoing my self-defeating cycle with drinking? Just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.....
I am certainly going to try.
I am coming up on 30 days. That's pretty exciting and my brain doesn't really know how to comprehend that. It's kind of hard to believe that I am actually doing this!
So it's time to get on top of another issue hanging over my head...this whole school thing. I have 6 weeks to finish a course that has been hanging over my head forever. I sat down, made my plan yesterday and maybe I just need to apply the skills I have been using for the last almost 30 days....just do it. Don't overthink it, just do it. And maybe I can start undoing the self-defeating cycle with my course, the same way I am undoing my self-defeating cycle with drinking? Just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.....
I am certainly going to try.
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