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Class of July 2013 Part 26

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Old 12-06-2015, 09:46 AM
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Hello everyone,
Snoozy, darling, I'm so sorry to hear of the dreadful turmoil you've been going through. Please stay close. We all love you and want the best for you. You are a wonderful person, but when you (we) drink, you become someone else, and that villain takes over.
This is from my sobriety journal, it came from someone on SR, I'm sorry, I didn't write the name so I can't credit the person. It strikes a chord with me and I hope will with you too.
"In so many areas of our lives, we are usually only willing to go so far. Beyond that, we tend to float, in effect settling for where we are, because we don't have the vision, or the will, or the know how to do any better."
In my case, I know I get stuck on the lack of vision part. Fear keeps us stuck.
Please don't settle for where you are. Reach out to Shaun, I'm sure he's worried sick. Angry, yes, maybe, but worried, as are all your family. I hope you can get home soon and begin a new plan. Courage!
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Old 12-06-2015, 09:50 AM
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Dear friends,
Thank you all for the support and reassurance you've given me about my decision regarding my ex. Croissant, you really made me think. Yes, women are silent too often, and our police services are there to protect us, and I'm glad I was taken seriously. It's over, I won't be bothered again!

Ladybug, thinking of you too as you carry on. Happy first birthday to Abby!
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Old 12-06-2015, 12:24 PM
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Leshar
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Old 12-06-2015, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
I just want to thank you all for your concern and advice. However, rehab is not an option for me. Now .... having said that I realize that if rehab is not an option than drinking is not an option. I am playing with fire - I know that. I will get back on track. Today is my baby's 1st bd and I will be sober, happy, grateful and present for it

(((Snoozy))) love you!
Happy 1st Birthday to Little Abby!!!!!!
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Old 12-06-2015, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by SnoozyQ View Post
my sister lives week to week. Shaun won't put it on the credit card . I think he's loving having me here so he can play his game 24/7 I truly do.
I think it's more complicated than that.

Shaun's not perfect but I think he's probably as exhausted as you are.

My guess is he's waiting for you to take some action Snooz.

D
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Old 12-06-2015, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
I just want to thank you all for your concern and advice. However, rehab is not an option for me. Now .... having said that I realize that if rehab is not an option than drinking is not an option. I am playing with fire - I know that. I will get back on track. Today is my baby's 1st bd and I will be sober, happy, grateful and present for it

(((Snoozy))) love you!
Ladybug, I'm just going to say it. You've been posting here for 2 years, if you feel rehab isn't an option, and you continue to drink, where do you think this is heading?

I'm sorry, but none of us is immune to all of the bad things Dee just outlined.

I may be a little heightened on this at the moment, we've just heard Snooz detail something pretty awful. Do you think this won't be you? Couldn't possibly happen to you?

Nearly $9k in car repairs is a steep bill. What cost is your life and the happy memories you take from yourself and your children if you continue to drink? I'm not saying rehab is the answer totally. But you have to realise this is a serious problem.

This Christmas is the 10 year anniversary of my Mums death. Do you think you can't die from this?
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Old 12-06-2015, 12:51 PM
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Dear Snooz; what an ordeal; my heart just ached when I read your account. I hope that you are able to get home soon.

Untreated alcoholism only gets worse; we are all living proof of that. It has to stop; there is no other way.

I cannot bear to think of this disease winning the battle with you.

Dee and the others are right; it's time to pull out all the stops, sweet Snooz, and save your life.
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Old 12-06-2015, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think it's more complicated than that.

Shaun's not perfect but I think he's probably as exhausted as you are.

My guess is he's waiting for you to take some action Snooz.

D
I agree. What we see as people not caring when we are in the midst of our denial, is actually often quite the opposite.

Drinking, being locked in addictive behaviour, automatically shuts down a healthy view of things.
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Old 12-06-2015, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Leshar View Post
This is from my sobriety journal, it came from someone on SR, I'm sorry, I didn't write the name so I can't credit the person. It strikes a chord with me and I hope will with you too.
"In so many areas of our lives, we are usually only willing to go so far. Beyond that, we tend to float, in effect settling for where we are, because we don't have the vision, or the will, or the know how to do any better."
In my case, I know I get stuck on the lack of vision part. Fear keeps us stuck.
Please don't settle for where you are. Reach out to Shaun, I'm sure he's worried sick. Angry, yes, maybe, but worried, as are all your family. I hope you can get home soon and begin a new plan. Courage!
Thank you for sharing this, Leshar, it is so true.

It reminds me too, just like my post above, how addiction effectively puts a smokescreen on our future, limits us - in order for the craziness to continue.

There is no way I could have predicted or seen my life right now when drinking. You think you can, but you really can't. Not until you peel all the layers back and uncover all the ugliness and darkness of who you are and why you drank....and why you want to keep drinking. Sure, drinking renders us without sense, but guys, we've been here on this journey for over 2 years now, we can't feign ignorance on this anymore like we once could. The stories are all here and we've read them, and sadly, some of us have lived them.
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Old 12-06-2015, 01:28 PM
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Love and good morning....sorry I had to go to bed last night.
And I have hurt my back, so whingy today....

Snooz...I appreciate you have no phone, so I am going to send you both of my numbers right now by PM. I'm sure you can borrow a phone quickly, I will call you back, or find a pay phone love.
Call me love, and we will get you home.

I am just very grateful you are in one peace. The rest we can work on!
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Old 12-06-2015, 01:31 PM
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to your baby girl Ladybug!
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Old 12-06-2015, 02:19 PM
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Happy Birthday to your princess!! Time flies doesnt it
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Old 12-06-2015, 02:22 PM
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Croissant, what a great post. Thank you.
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Old 12-06-2015, 02:25 PM
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I just read your posts again properly Crois and Leshar. ♥

Thank you.. s
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Old 12-06-2015, 02:32 PM
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Wendy, just get home safely, ok.
I think that is the most important thing.
Here in my area of the world we call it "a bender" when a person goes off and drinks and parties like the end of the world is tomorrow.
I did that back before I got my head screwed on correctly.
I'm not going to sugar coat this, but these are the actions that can get you killed.
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Old 12-06-2015, 02:55 PM
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Hi Julyers, hope you don't mind me popping in...

Super congrats to those of you with milestones! They are always awesome and to be celebrated!

You know why milestones are so cool? Because even the first 24 hours puts us on the path to a new life. The trick though is to get another24, then another, and so on.

I'm usually the kind of girl who focuses on the positive and deals with the negative quietly. Today though, I feel the need to be more direct.

I think it's safe to say every one of us has an addiction we are dealing with. Here's the thing about addiction-- if left untreated, addiction is CHRONIC, PROGRESSIVE and absolutely FATAL.

Snoozy, ladybug.... Do you really think you still have time to say, "I don't want to, xxx isn't an option for me, xxx recovery method just isn't for me?"

C'mon now, what's it gonna take? Snoozy, you know why your parents were worried you were in shutter somewhere? Because you could have been!! Ladybug, I'm so grateful you were sober in that car accident. What if it happens tomorrow, or next week??

I'm not saying these things to hurt you. I was once in your place. I have no desire to judge. Given the things I've done and the **** I've pulled in my drinking days, I certainly would have no room to judge you.

When I couldn't stop drinking, I did outpatient rehab. I still couldn't stop. Like you, I would show up. Like you, I would talk about recovery and really mean it when I said it. I was in a program. Then I would go home and drink. I was waiting for that magical moment when my recovery would kick in and I wouldn't want to drink.

That magical moment never came. I would have drank myself to death waiting for that magical moment, I'm certain of that.

What happened? Nothing spectacular. I surrendered. I cried uncle. I stopped before I was "ready." Then I worked only recovery. I tried everything. I stopped saying, "that's not former." Because what the **** IS for me, if I can't stop? I stopped saying no, because quite frankly I had run out of options. Saying no was turning my liver and brain to mush. Saying no was getting me drunk on days I was SURE I wouldn't drink, riiight?

In outpatient, when I just couldn't get it, I was told two things that made me stop messing about. First, I was told that while nothing bad had happened, (no DUI, good job, partner), if I kept drinking something bad WOULDhappen. It's a given.

I still couldn't stop yet, but it did stay in my mind. Then like a third into my program, she just sighed and said "wehav, you can't have one foot in relapse and one foot in recovery. I think it's time for inpatient!"

That stuck. You canthaveonefoot I relapse, and one in recovery. Coming here and posting religiously but then drinking isn't recovery, it just isn't. It's ongoing relapse.

I think the time for sugar coating is over, don't you?

If you want to talk, you can pm me. I care about you. I want you to live. It really, really hurts to see you suffer. Please don't die like my mom. Please don't do to your kids what was done to me. Please.
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Old 12-06-2015, 03:01 PM
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I love you wehav. ♥
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Old 12-06-2015, 03:04 PM
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There are some great posts here - and although I haven't wanted to spook you ladybug, everything these guys have said holds true for you too.

Little Abby deserves a sober mom, just as much as you deserve a sober you

D
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Old 12-06-2015, 03:05 PM
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Great post, wehav2day.
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Old 12-06-2015, 03:07 PM
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Wendy, can you see how many of us are here?
Please do not duck and run after posting last night...we all care about you. ♥
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