SnoozyQ

Thanks Dee , I will . Omg ...this is soooooo hard this time ;-( but thank you everyone for all your support . I read it every day and tip down the sink when I'm truly affected by words , like just now. I'm making a cup of tea and going to bed .

I have to apologise to all of you. This must be so tedious and a pain in the arse.

You can only listen to so much whining for so long.

I will fix this somehow xxx

SnoozyQ

Ladybug please don't end up like me :-( stop. Now xxx

Dee74

I wouldn't be here if I thought it was tedious or a PITA

It all starts from a single decision Snooz - just don't buy that next bottle

Maybe re-reading some of your old posts will help you recognize the real you and her fighting spirit?

D

SnoozyQ

Ok Dee , I'll go do that now. I know I'm in a bad place when I wake up in the morning and I'm so disappointed :-(

Dee74

never too late for a fresh start

I'm off to bed - see you tomorrow

D

SnoozyQ

Night Dee , thanks for your help xx

Croissant

Never, ever, ever too late.

Snooz. I lied to myself for a bit this last time I drank. I'm pretty sure I didn't mention that I'd been "coerced" into a drink. Just one. Last New Years Eve. Just as we were leaving the party...my glass of champagne got poured and I said no, then it was there, so I intended to "pretend" to sip it. But then I thought, oh hell....one sip can't hurt. Sipping away on that glass for about haf an hour.

Got home, went to sleep. Nothing.

This is good. I'm ok.
6 weeks later. My friend comes to town. Nothing bad happened at New Years....hmmm. Maybe a few drinks won't hurt. Slight blackout, but ok. No more drinking, don't tell the SR people. Let's see how this goes.

Sip around feb 22. Knew I wanted to drink the lot, but gave the bottle away because I knew my kids would know, and I'm on holidays.... feeling guilty.

Go to work party on the 27th of feb. This is my third time drinking since the New Years episode. All nighter. Black out. Nearly set my house on fire. Altercation with a house mate.

Hmm, I better rethink this. How did I get from no cravings to black out? Feel a bit embarrassed at work, and at home (they think it's a once off) better rethink my strategy. What's the best way to think? Get a bottle of wine of course, just to make sure I'm not over reacting, surely I can drink sensibly? I gave up for 8 months...got fit, lost weight. I will just drink this weekend. No, I don't think I will mention this on SR (maybe I did at this point, probably not, cos you guys would ruin my fun).

Anyway, that weekend of drinking and thinking solved a lot at the end of Feb (not). I drank I think pretty much every day during March. (Intending to stop every day)....for the next four weeks.

New job 1 April. Showed up desperately hung over. I was scared. I'd injured my ankle in blackout still not sure how.

Nothing about drinking was predictable anymore. The volume, the cravings, the promises to not drink....all of it....just as crazy as day 1 back in July 2013.

There's no point me drinking, fantasising about drinking, romanticising drinking. It didn't happen immediately, Snooz. But you must stop, tell yourself the real truth, that this WILL kill you. It's time to grow up and accept we aren't bulletproof anymore, we really aren't. This thing has us in a heartbeat every time we think raising a glass to our lips is an option.

With that, I'm going to bed too. Snooz.

SnoozyQ

This post and your honesty means the world to me Crois , I can't tell you how much this sunk in .

Xxx thank you lovely xxx

Soberwolf

I love the Australians here x

Great advice Snooz read every bit of it & try and get some Shuteye order a recovery book or 2 to help reinforce your sobriety & to help tire your eyes

Night to the Australian contingent of Julyers xx

Leshar

Hello all,
Snoozy, there's been some wonderful advice and honesty here. I don't have much to add except that for me, sobriety has become about acceptance and responsibility, both to myself and others. I don't drink. You know I continue to struggle with depression, but no matter how much things suck, I don't drink.
I don't know what else to say. It's very hard, there's no doubt.
I'm worried too, for Ladybug, she hasn't posted in a bit. It would seem that she is trying to manage on her own devices, and in my opinion, at some point, it's just not enough, even with SR and the best of intentions. I want the best for all of us.
I'm not in a good place, very flat, physically exhausted, dizzy a lot, not really enjoying much of anything, but I know even if this is as good as it ever gets, I'm in a better place being sober. It's the responsible thing to do.
Croissant, I hope you're feeling better at this point. Thank you for your honesty.
I see my psychiatrist today and I dread the long, tiresome drive. I felt like cancelling, but that is avoiding responsibility I know.

SnoozyQ

Hi darling Leshar im still awake

SnoozyQ

Don't dread the long drive sweetheart , it's going to help you , I wish you all the very best from the bottom of my heart I truly do cxxxxx

SoberLeigh

Hey, Snooz; I am just now catching up on the 'overnight' posts.

Lots of fantastic advice above.

Dee's links are great; take a look at them again, please.

So you have 7 days until detox/rehab and your AV is going crazy. Why not take a look at AVRT during this time; complete some on-line worksheets (you can google 'AVRT' and a ton of information is offered.

There is also an SR link; I'll post it in a minute.

SoberLeigh

Here is the link, Snooz:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberLeigh

Good morning/afternoon/night, dear Julyers.

Have a great day.

SnoozyQ

Thank you darling Leigh , you are a sweetheart xxxx I shall check it out now xx

Soberwolf

Snooz isn't it almost 4am where you are with all the stress your body is under this isn't going to help

I know I keep saying it but try & get some rest x

venuscat

I spent quite a long time on line yesterday looking up every single drug and alcohol rehab and help service in Adelaide.

If I was you Snoozy love, I would call every single one of them. Every chance possible. I will help you make the calls if you want....

Have you tried this one love?

The Adelaide Clinic

venuscat

As my October class buddies would say, boom!

Thank you Crois.

SoberLeigh

Venuscat, , totally.