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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-07-2015, 03:40 AM
  # 441 (permalink)  
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Day 1 again. Drank this weekend. No reason, just wanted to. Now I have to stop hating myself for it. Ugh.
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Old 12-07-2015, 04:18 AM
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Day 10 and I feel.awful again... my joints are really swollen in my feet and they hurt... never had that before.... I feel all fuzzy and crap. ... work is awful, so stressful. But I did get to speak to my husband yesterday, and it was so sad.... he is very upset about the actions and we used to be sooooo close and best friends, but life, work, kids has just pushed us apart and I feel.like I don't know him anymore... add alcohol too and it's just sad....he just doesn't know why I am freaking out and acting so bad, and now tying to say it was his fault... I'm not trying to say that, but just trying g to say what I need... which makes me sound like a winging neurotic self pitying arse....
Didn't drink though...
I drank when happy, so at least if I stay sad then I'll be safe!!!
Sorry for those that slipped, but keep at it. ..and keep on everyone!!!
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Old 12-07-2015, 04:33 AM
  # 443 (permalink)  
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Sorry for those who have started over. I've started over many times and know how you feel. My goal in counseling is to try to learn what makes me re-enter the drinking cycle and figure out how to prevent it. I believe I can learn to have control over choosing to drink or not drink when I'm sober. After that first drink though - then I'm screwed because the addiction is stronger than my sensible brain. So the only answer for me is to never pick up again, no more cycling towards rock bottom, no more Day 1s.

Day 15 here and looking forward to whatever the week has in store for me. I'm still hobbling around from the marathon hangover but feel great otherwise. We went to a holiday gathering hosted by a religious family on our street last night and of course there was no booze in the house which was perfect. I'm not used to such sober parties but it was a welcome change. Everyone's eyes were so clear...was pretty cool I must say! Made me think that sobriety is not only not that bad but maybe better!!
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Old 12-07-2015, 04:44 AM
  # 444 (permalink)  
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Morning everyone. 22 days for me & I literally CLAWED my way through yesterday. I wanted to drink several times but refused. No way I am going back to that hell!

Not feeling great this morning (cramps) so this will be quick. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you slipped HealthyGoals & Ultradad. Do NOT beat yourself up! That's what the AV wants so you will drink MORE. Grrrrrr. I hate the AV!

Do you know what may have triggered you to drink?

*I would love if you guys stay in our class. We really care about you. Let me know what you want me to put on the class list for "days". For now I leave it blank

((((Hug)))).
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Old 12-07-2015, 05:18 AM
  # 445 (permalink)  
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I will stay in this class. Day1.

I wasn't even triggered by anything, just had a fun weekend and felt like drinking. Stupid. I do have fun sober.
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Old 12-07-2015, 05:44 AM
  # 446 (permalink)  
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If you guys will have me then I'd love to stay in this class as well : )

I would like to say I know what triggered me, but honestly I have so many triggers its hard to put my finger on it. STRESS is a big one for me and I know I've been dealing with a ton of it lately. I always 'think' I've got it handled, but it's just been one huge roller coaster ride lately! I feel better this morning and I know that by not actually getting hungover drunk this weekend helped, but the guilt and depression were still the same! Also, it really effected my race this weekend and that's a first so having to deal with that guilt on top of everything else! I'm going to try my best to be more mindful of the AV and not let it slip up on me, also I have to remember that I'm not that same guy with 14 months sober that can go around alcohol and joke about it and such...I have to get back to that guy and ultimately figure out why I picked back up in the first place! So, prayer, meditation and possibly a few AA meetings along with a new nutrition plan and exercise to help me get back focused! Any other advise is welcomed!

Healthygoals, sorry to hear about your relapse also. Funny, I was just talking to my wife about how it seems when I'm having 'fun' I always think alcohol will sometimes make it more fun and it never does! I have to remember how to enjoy life and have real fun sober again. Wishing you the best!!!
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Old 12-07-2015, 05:55 AM
  # 447 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Checking in at the end of Day 28. Still feeling the moody ups and downs, but feeling a bit better. (I started too Kiki...we must be syncing up. Lol). Anyway, I looked at my sober tracker on my phone and as of today I have saved $280 and 12,000 calories! Almost 4 pounds! Wow...can't wait for that to drop off! Haha

It sounds like we are all struggling with daily crap, but doing ok.

Ultra dad-so sorry to hear about your beer drinking. Did you try to journal about why you keep struggling at the 2 week point?
You really don't need to move to December unless you feel you might get more support there? We all are struggling through so many emotions here and you are a part of our class ���� so you can struggle here too.

KIR
Thank you KIR!

I like the idea of journaling and will definitely start that! That's also a very good point as it is always around two weeks where the cravings/triggers seem to get me...and I'm definitly staying in this group, thanks and hope the up's and down's get better for you!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:04 AM
  # 448 (permalink)  
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Quiet classmate

I'm on day 16 after three decades of nearly daily drinking and read this thread every day. I went through the usual withdrawal symptoms, and except for feeling really tired in the middle of the day, am feeling strong now. Just thought it was time to say hi and thanks!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:18 AM
  # 449 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Healthygoals View Post
I will stay in this class. Day1. I wasn't even triggered by anything, just had a fun weekend and felt like drinking. Stupid. I do have fun sober.
Oh GOOD! I'm glad you are sticking with us!!! :-)
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:18 AM
  # 450 (permalink)  
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Hi and welcome Dustmeoff! I'm on day 16 too and I can totally relate to the mid day exhaustion. Yep, 3+ decades here too, this being my 3rd SR class, with longer stints of sobriety each time. I plan on making this one my last class and no more day 1s!

I'm sorry you slipped this past weekend Healthygoals, but glad you jumped back onboard! That shows determination. You too, Ultradad, so happy to hear that you're not leaving the pack! One day at a time is all it really is anyhow, so here's to a happy, healthy and sober Monday!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:21 AM
  # 451 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ultradad View Post
If you guys will have me then I'd love to stay in this class as well : ) I would like to say I know what triggered me, but honestly I have so many triggers its hard to put my finger on it. STRESS is a big one for me and I know I've been dealing with a ton of it lately. I always 'think' I've got it handled, but it's just been one huge roller coaster ride lately! I feel better this morning and I know that by not actually getting hungover drunk this weekend helped, but the guilt and depression were still the same! Also, it really effected my race this weekend and that's a first so having to deal with that guilt on top of everything else! I'm going to try my best to be more mindful of the AV and not let it slip up on me, also I have to remember that I'm not that same guy with 14 months sober that can go around alcohol and joke about it and such...I have to get back to that guy and ultimately figure out why I picked back up in the first place! So, prayer, meditation and possibly a few AA meetings along with a new nutrition plan and exercise to help me get back focused! Any other advise is welcomed! Healthygoals, sorry to hear about your relapse also. Funny, I was just talking to my wife about how it seems when I'm having 'fun' I always think alcohol will sometimes make it more fun and it never does! I have to remember how to enjoy life and have real fun sober again. Wishing you the best!!!
Oh good! So glad you are sticking with us too! We are a TEAM! We get through the ups and downs together!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:22 AM
  # 452 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dustmeoff View Post
I'm on day 16 after three decades of nearly daily drinking and read this thread every day. I went through the usual withdrawal symptoms, and except for feeling really tired in the middle of the day, am feeling strong now. Just thought it was time to say hi and thanks!
Welcome! Would you like me to add you to the class list? :-)
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:24 AM
  # 453 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ultradad View Post
Healthygoals, sorry to hear about your relapse also. Funny, I was just talking to my wife about how it seems when I'm having 'fun' I always think alcohol will sometimes make it more fun and it never does! I have to remember how to enjoy life and have real fun sober again. Wishing you the best!!!
Thank you. I ordered Allen Carr's book yesterday on my kindle and have begun reading it, interesting take on alcohol and "fun". It's nothing more than poison and that's the way I have to at it.

At least I have more sober days than drinking days but this insanity of weekend drinking has to stop!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:36 AM
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Hi Healthygoals, I read on another thread that there is a Allen Carr video that can be viewed too. I'll google and try and find it later today, and will post the link.

Thanks for sticking with us, strength in numbers you know!
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:39 AM
  # 455 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone , Hugs for everyone having a hard time today , keep walking through it and you will walk out of it .

Day # 10 for me I am feeling good , and strong . I am so thankful for the support I get here . reading here everyday has made a great difference in my journey . Thanks everyone.
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:52 AM
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Good morning.

Anxiety is still here but AV is quiet.

I'm feeling tired, burnt out. Same old boring stuff day after day. Living in a small town doesn't really help, same people, same old same old every day. Even my hobbies seem boring...

Ugh sorry about the depressing post...I just don't know what to do. All I want is to go back to bed and wake up when this is all over.
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:57 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Good morning. Anxiety is still here but AV is quiet. I'm feeling tired, burnt out. Same old boring stuff day after day. Living in a small town doesn't really help, same people, same old same old every day. Even my hobbies seem boring... Ugh sorry about the depressing post...I just don't know what to do. All I want is to go back to bed and wake up when this is all over.
Hang in there Patricia. Can you get some exercise today? Yesterday was the first day in a week I didn't exercise & I was crazy! I also had 2 cravings for the first time in several days & wanted to punch everyone I saw in the face! Ha. I am gonna be sure to take my 1 hour power walk today!

Can you get some exercise too? :-)
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Old 12-07-2015, 06:58 AM
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Too bad we can’t hibernate for the next 3 months, huh Patricia? I’ve had that thought before. Well, at least your AV is sleeping in today, one more thing to be grateful for!
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Old 12-07-2015, 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Hang in there Patricia. Can you get some exercise today? Yesterday was the first day in a week I didn't exercise & I was crazy! I also had 2 cravings for the first time in several days & wanted to punch everyone I saw in the face! Ha. I am gonna be sure to take my 1 hour power walk today!

Can you get some exercise too? :-)
It's snowing heavily today, I don't think I can go for a walk
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Old 12-07-2015, 07:33 AM
  # 460 (permalink)  
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Quiet classmate

Thanks Kiki, it would be nice to see my name on the list.
Hi Odelle. On to day 17!
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