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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-06-2015, 06:20 PM
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Been quiet but made it through the weekend. And I'm much better for it. Looking forward to many more.
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Old 12-06-2015, 06:21 PM
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Hi everyone! Whew! What a crappy day! After several good days I ended up fighting my husband this morning & wanting to drink (but didn't). Then we got in another fight (basically me yelling at him about how emotionally unavailable he is) and I wanted to drink again...but thought the drink all the way thru and it didn't sound very fun so I didn't. I was really pissy at the manager at a Mexican restaurant when picking up food and felt like I wanted to punch everyone I saw in the face all day long! I HAD A BAD ATTITUDE!!!

So I was trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me today...and here's what I came up with:
1. I am tired
2. I didn't exercise today
3. (Men close your eyes) I started my period today. I haven't been sober during "this time of the month" in 2 years! I.am.crazy. Ha!

Ok so I did NOT get thru the day gracefully, not even CLOSE...but I did not drink despite the fact that I really wanted to several times! Bad!!!

Soooo....I guess if all I did "right" all day was stay sober then it was a good day, right?

@Canguy- 4 weeks is amazing! Keep it up & don't let you guard down.

@Patricia- I completely understand!!! My biggest triggered anger too! I've recently learned that behind anger always lies fear. Even if the angry person appears to be strong and in control, fear will always be the reason behind his anger. I guess I am a very fearful person! :-/ BTW! You did AWESOME today! I love lemon water.

@supertired- Hi!!!

@tater- you're so right! Alcohol never makes anything better!

@ultradad- I'm so sorry to hear you drank this weekend but don't beat yourself up! We'd love to have you stay in the November class but understand if you want to go to December. Let me know. Hang in there & thx for reminding me why I don't want to drink. Sounds hellish! I'm sorry you feel bad. :-(
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Old 12-06-2015, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post

@Patricia- I completely understand!!! My biggest triggered anger too! I've recently learned that behind anger always lies fear. Even if the angry person appears to be strong and in control, fear will always be the reason behind his anger. I guess I am a very fearful person! :-/ BTW! You did AWESOME today! I love lemon water.
That is true Kiki. I am trying to trust and let go, it's so far one of the hardest lessons. I always tried to control everything, and the only thing we can really control are our thoughts

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Oh those hormones can turn our lives upside down! And alcohol can cause a huge hormonal imbalance. You'll probably feel much better next month!
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Old 12-06-2015, 06:53 PM
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Checking in at the end of Day 28. Still feeling the moody ups and downs, but feeling a bit better. (I started too Kiki...we must be syncing up. Lol). Anyway, I looked at my sober tracker on my phone and as of today I have saved $280 and 12,000 calories! Almost 4 pounds! Wow...can't wait for that to drop off! Haha

It sounds like we are all struggling with daily crap, but doing ok.

Ultra dad-so sorry to hear about your beer drinking. Did you try to journal about why you keep struggling at the 2 week point?
You really don't need to move to December unless you feel you might get more support there? We all are struggling through so many emotions here and you are a part of our class ���� so you can struggle here too.

KIR
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:04 PM
  # 425 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
That is true Kiki. I am trying to trust and let go, it's so far one of the hardest lessons. I always tried to control everything, and the only thing we can really control are our thoughts I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Oh those hormones can turn our lives upside down! And alcohol can cause a huge hormonal imbalance. You'll probably feel much better next month!
Thx Patricia! I really hope next month is better otherwise I may need a padded cell! :-0
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:06 PM
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End of my day 22.

Im not having cravings but I have moments of hope for drinking one day in the future and then i shut those thoughts down. I have moments where the thought/urge crosses my mind to get some beer or wine or how nice it would be to get some. But I just shut them down as soon as they come.

Kiki, sorry you are having such a day ahh I started my period too haha.

Ultra dad thanks for still posting after your slip. It's helpful to read and remind us all just like how you've reminded yourself why we need to stay sober. You can do this!
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:12 PM
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So ladies. Since we are all syncing up with our cycles I'm wondering if maybe our Husbands really weren't the big jerks that we thought they were the last few days?! Nah, strike that.
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
So ladies. Since we are all syncing up with our cycles I'm wondering if maybe our Husbands really weren't the big jerks that we thought they were the last few days?! Nah, strike that.
Lol! Yeah, NAH, strike that! Hahahaha
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:43 PM
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I'm sorry you slipped Ultradad but glad the you and your wife are teaming up to beat this cycle. Speaking of cycles, you may be safer in the December class!

Ladies, you are too funny. I'm so glad I am past that. I used to turn into psycho crazy person that time of the month. Before your time, but I was more like Karen Black in the Twilight Zone movie Trilogy of Terror, where she becomes possessed by a vudue doll, crouched with a knife, waiting for husband to come through the door! Now you all have me feeling sorry for your husbands, hahaha! (Crazy spell check would allow me to spell vudue correctly - changed it to *****)
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:48 PM
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I'm glad you got through the day Kiki - and ps no one said it had to be graceful

I'm glad you're back ultradad - what's your recovery plan look like this time?

D
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:56 PM
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Hello everyone , all is well with me , I will post tomorrow.
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Old 12-06-2015, 07:58 PM
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hey Denise

D
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Old 12-06-2015, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm glad you got through the day Kiki - and ps no one said it had to be graceful I'm glad you're back ultradad - what's your recovery plan look like this time? D
Well I'm glad because if there was a "visual" of how my day went it would look like this:

I'm not a model but if I was this video totally describes my day! Especially the poor girl falling through the floor & the one who fell in the pool. Hehehehe

http://youtu.be/3wJT7_cIO-U


*PATRICIA....relate??? Lol
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Old 12-06-2015, 08:18 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Well I'm glad because if there was a "visual" of how my day went it would look like this: I'm not a model but if I was this video totally describes my day! Especially the poor girl falling through the floor & the one who fell in the pool. Hehehehe http://youtu.be/3wJT7_cIO-U *PATRICIA....relate??? Lol
(Me at 12:00 noon today) The woman who fell through the floor at 1:36

(Me at 2:45 today) The woman who fell in the pool at 1:50

(Me at 6:30 pm tonite) The woman who falls down the stairs at 2:32 made me laugh out loud.

(Me now..time to go to bed!) lol The woman who gets hit by the swinging round thing at 2:49

http://youtu.be/3wJT7_cIO-U
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Old 12-06-2015, 08:59 PM
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That video made me laugh, Kiki I'm glad that you can take your bad days in stride. That will help more areas in life than just sobriety!

I had a good weekend. AV whispered a few times but I shut it down. And I had a random thought tonight: I am so much more confident in myself when I'm not drinking. In all areas of my life; I just feel great. Alcohol sometimes gave me that feeling for about 30 minutes, only to be followed by hangover hell. I like the "real" confidence I get while sober

Have a great start to the week, All!
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Old 12-06-2015, 10:18 PM
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Morning Class

Sorry to read about ultra dads slip and hope he is ok.
Laughing out loud here at all the 'husband' posts! Particularly seeing as mine spent the majority of yesterday (Xmas decorating day) in the dog house! This is a stressful enough event as it is without him dropping the tree with the lights on it after I specifically told him not to move it!! Lights all blew and he was off out to fetch more. Grrrrrrrrrrr
Anywho, I CANNOT believe I've made it my first weekend EVER sober!! Like seriously, this s*** just doesn't happen to me. I've spent every weekend for as long as I can remember, dying the death of a nasty hangover. Sobriety for me is the only way forward now and I'm loving it! I struggle a lot at night (past 8pm) but if it gets really bad I just go to sleep... This has slightly destroyed my sleeping pattern as I keep waking at 5am but it's totally worth it. Happy Monday my lovely classmates...

DAY 10
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Old 12-06-2015, 10:34 PM
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Thats great determined - the first of many weekends

D
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Old 12-06-2015, 11:26 PM
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Originally Posted by canguy View Post
Morning ppl

Monday morning. Day 28. 4 weeks.

Wanting to type that is what kept me going through a grey flat weekend. For the first time in a month I wanted to drink to dissolve the day. Instead just accepted the feelings and sat through them. None of it lasts. Have been thinking that drinking is a learned response to a psychic discomfort. You learn that alcohol can quickly and temporarily erase.....one effect is then a low tolerance for any form of mental discomfort.

Okay...new week. Weeks have a routine and degree of social contact which makes them easier than the weekends at the moment.

Have a good sober day all......don't be too hard on those husband guys, okay?
Spot on with needing to be able to relearn how to cope with mental discomfort.

Iol, poor husbands.
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:33 AM
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Day 23 and another weekend successfully negotiated - AV not just shouting but screaming and giving me a bit of kicking on Friday night - Saturday and Sunday no problem with that side of things, daughter a nightmare to wake for school this morning after a bit of a late night and managed to get the stress levels rising, however definitely feeling good for a Monday morning.

We all know how jaded / rough the Mondays (and many other days) once were - seeing others in the kitchen feeling worse for wear after a heavy weekend and looking it too makes sobriety all the more worthwhile and much more productive.

Emily, glad to hear you enjoyed your first sober weekend also.

Happy Monday everyone.
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:44 AM
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I'm putting off studying for final exams. Really need to knuckle down and start. I'm at work overnight, then a bit of sleep and more studying before exams on tuesday.

So yesterday makes 23 days. Feeling pretty proud that I'm over 3 weeks sober and I've delt with some tough things. I'm not going to get complacent though. I won't feel remotely safe in my ability to maintain sobriety until I've reached at least a year. Need to remain actively engaged in keeping sobriety a priority in my life, even if things start going smoothly.

As far as the husband coversation goes (not to make anyone sick) he's absolutely my best friend and I've never been more in love. Remember that we are all just trying to keep our heads above water. Love, support and positivity is contagious.

Good work being sober despite your individual struggles all. Here's to another sober day.

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