Rio97

Ubn, I've looked at it before but didn't really take to it. This time I should really not rule anything out. Congrats on 10 days.

I got in bed early, it'll probably be a restless night.

Wheatgrass

Just popping in to say goodnight class.

Jenses

Hi all:
Just got back from my weekly evening game night out with the ladies. First time without wine - and still had fun (one secret fear put to rest).

Serious question though - how do you respond to people when they say that you don't need to stop for good? "Once you take a break you should be fine to have one or two social drinks, right?"
I ran into that tonight and the logic played with my head. When I drove home, I recognized that that same logic is what gets me into trouble, but I don't know whether to agree for sake of peace or try to explain (because it isn't about me at that point...)
Suggestions welcomed.

julesonya

Ub I dont know how you do it- I know the pressure of the Asian culture, and while I know a lot of people on here say dont make up an excuse, I am too. I actually did sign up for a half marathon in May, bc why not?? (I am not a runner, like give me a mile and i am done).

I had a really great work trip and feel so happy with my choice to leave my old job. I had a really cake job, I barely worked & when I did it was traveling, partying & working maybe 2 hours a day. Granted this new job is hard, its mentally challenging, we met with 4 customers in 6 hours all over Minneapolis. I didnt have a choice but to be on my game. And like I said, this is not a company who is like "We worked our butts off lets get drunk" It was more, lets have a nice dinner.

I actually ate 3 meals a day! First time in years I can say. And i could even taste the food. It reminded me of my passion for cooking and I am excited to be home again for a while so I can cook. I got to my personal training appointment and my trainer even commented on how I actually worked & had energy today. (Ive been with him since Sept and lets just say I showed up drunk many times)
Sorry for the long post! I am worried I wont be able to sleep tonight. That AV voice will come after me, but I just remind myself of all the hard work I have done physically, mentally over the past few days and say hell no.

ubntubnt

Firstly, lets be clear. You can never drink again. Moderation will cause you to jump back on the train and you don't ever want to back to where you came from. Moderation is impossible for the alcoholic. God knows I learned this the hard way. Trust me, you are not an exception and you can't beat it....you can't drink in moderation.

Secondly, that voice of reason that you hear inside your head, that debate where you almost try to convince yourself that there is even an argument worth having is your addiction talking to you. All the logic in the world tells you never to drink again. So why are you questioning it? Because you are an addicted alcoholic. Thats why. Accept that you can never drink again. End of. Any time you find yourself questioning or doubting this decision realise it is your addiction and don't fall for it. This is how relapses occur and it may kill you eventually.

As to what to say to your friends. For me it depends. My wife is the only one who knows the full extent of my alcoholism. I tell her never again and I mean it and she knows that. I have not told my friends that I am a recovering alcoholic although some will guess and some will not. I don't particularly care as I am not having that conversation with them until I feel I am ready and I am not ready yet. So if they played the "a couple of drinks after a break won't kill you" card, I would probably just say something dismissive like "well, lets see, I haven't decided yet how long the break will be", and move on. In 6 months time, when the break is ongoing they will be used to me not drinking and won't really care anymore. That the low confrontation way to handle it that may work for you.

ubntubnt

Thats nice Jules...its cool that you have a non drinking company culture. Isn't funny how some companies are all on and some are all off. Actually my last company where I did my heaviest drinking was a heavy drinking culture - one that I helped set (uuuurgh). My current job is not a drinking culture thankfully which actually has played a part in my drive for sobriety.

My biggest challenge as an expat in Asia is the overall lifestyle. Bars open all night, cheap booze, can't watch the tv (language), expat social life enters on the pub, lots of cash, culture of infidelity etc etc etc. Theses where the voice of reason comes in and says that I should move back West and sober up but actually having thought it to death have decided not to. I do a huge amount of great things here and am happily married. So its about me finding a way to balance that with finding a more healthy and sober way to live. I know I can do it.

3 meals a day seems an important foundation for you who tends to skip meals. It will help keep the AV away and will also be a step towards a more normal life. Actually same applies to me. Keep working it Jules you are doing just fine!

Jenses

I understand for me it won't work - but just more so what to say to other people. It's weird - it's like I trigger something in them. They almost sound like they are convincing themselves.

Dee74

I stopped saying anything to people when they said 'all you have to do is know when to stop' or things of that ilk...

I ended up just smiling and maybe going a little vacant in the eyes....

It's fine advice...for other people.
Not for me.

I know what I am and I know I've never just drunk one or two, no amount of time off the booze has reset me to normal, and I've NEVER known when to stop.

Once I accepted those things, things actually got easier

D

Dee74

For the new guys here:

we usually close threads at around 500 posts to stop things getting too unwieldy.

Part two of this thread continues here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...15-pt-2-a.html

D