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Old 12-04-2015, 08:52 AM
  # 221 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Applekat View Post
Hello December! Day 4 today. Tonight is when hubby will inevitably have a couple beers or glasses of wine. That's the thing - he can stop at 2, maybe 3 on a Friday night. I need to stop chasing that dream.

I highly suggest some recovery literature if anyone needs time-fillers or something to read during moments of craving. Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp is great. I enjoyed Parched by Heather King, as well. I have a whole list if anyone is ever interested.

I need to read through all the latest posts! I'm glad to be here, and glad for all of you, too! Stick with it.

"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldnít understand why the happiness never came, couldnít see the flaw in my thinking, couldnít see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadnít made me feel good in years." Heather King
Hey,

I've started reading "How to stop drinking alcohol: a simple path from alcohol misery to alcohol mastery" by Kevin O'Hara. It's not bad as a he has a youtube channel as well and has kept a video diary from day 1 of quitting....

what you reading now?
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:53 AM
  # 222 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Applekat View Post
Yes...the 3 AM jolt I call it....anxiety sets in, disgust...deep breathing, water chugging....big plans to never do this again!
Applekat

Ahhh....you have been there. Isn't it the worse feeling. The taking the deep breath, the anxiety setting in when you realize that you have failed again. The water chugging because you are so dry. For me, recalling partial conversations and wondering if I said more that I do not remember..

I never want to experience those sensations again. However at this moment I will settle for not experiencing this this week end!
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:57 AM
  # 223 (permalink)  
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Congrats on day (3) maximus. I know things seem monumental, but you're right on target that drinking will not fix things. In fact, as said, it will only set you back.

You have a clear head now, perhaps, you can pull the whole gang together and come up with a plan and work together. And I know it's tough, but I'm glad you are all there for each other. How's everyone in the house feeling? How's their demeanor? The important thing is to stay positive and I see you are doing that.......we're proud of you for that!
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:58 AM
  # 224 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by maximus97 View Post
Hey neverthought, things are actually going ok, so far. Day three is here.

Life however, continues to be difficult. I hate whining and complaining but heres a short list of whats going on now:

My son and his family of four kids had to move back in with us. Financial reasons. He doesnt have a car either.

We are behind on our mortgage as well.

My car crapped out, hole in radiator, and electric fans dont work. Cant afford the repair now, so that means no transportation, cept for walking there. We live in an isolated area, not close to the bus line. My husband has a work van he uses strictly for work.

Dog has to have the acl surgery next week, its already been scheduled and paid for. Now, not sure as to how Im going to get her there.

I have three other appointments next week too, and no clue as to how I can keep them.

My husbands company just let a few people go, because of lack of work. Very concerned it may be him next.

All of these things stress me out, upset me very much, but drinking isnt going to fix any of them. So, Im not going to. In the past, these things have led me straight to the bottle, a huge binge, but I dont want to do that anymore. I can only control the way I react to all this. Its a new lesson though, and very very hard. I will pull it off.

I was use to drinking my problems, life away. Well, the problems stayed, and I just lost alot of my life. Nothing was ever gained from my binges. Period.

So, lets stay strong everybody. Welcome unique, and anyone else just joining.
Lets keep it sober folks.
Maximus...It is ok to vent.!! sounds like you have more than your fair share of few real world problems at the moment. Sorry to read that! However you are correct, the problems will be there if you drink. Drinking will just add to the list. Stay strong this week end.
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:01 AM
  # 225 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Applekat View Post
Hello December! Day 4 today. Tonight is when hubby will inevitably have a couple beers or glasses of wine. That's the thing - he can stop at 2, maybe 3 on a Friday night. I need to stop chasing that dream.

I highly suggest some recovery literature if anyone needs time-fillers or something to read during moments of craving. Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp is great. I enjoyed Parched by Heather King, as well. I have a whole list if anyone is ever interested.

I need to read through all the latest posts! I'm glad to be here, and glad for all of you, too! Stick with it.


"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years." Heather King

This truly uplifting post among many others here is the stuff healing is made off , I love it .

The waiting for happiness to come in 15 minute part really struck a cord with me as his is how it was with me every single time . I thought deeply when I read your post and realized that this insanity that was mine for too long .

I wish you all well .
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:01 AM
  # 226 (permalink)  
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Kiki- 19 days is wonderful!

Rake- "I think therefore I cannot sleep" had me rolling. In all my sober attempts, once I get going I really thrive on the "early to bed early to rise" routine. But, typically early for me is around 7am not 4am. I would like to start trying for 5 though. It is so peaceful that time of the morning.

Unique- So glad you are here!

Soberjim- I'm in for a sober weekend! We've got this.

Hi, Applekat!

Jules, really glad you are here and posting. Neverthought has some pretty solid wisdom there. We are here for you.

SleepyDots- your name makes me smile every time I read it!

I was getting ready to gripe and complain, but taking a few minutes to NOT think about myself just long enough to respond personally has made me see what I've got going ain't all that bad. This phase is only temporary.

How ya doing today, Newhope ?

Max, sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time! You're right though. Drinking won't make anything better. I blew 6 months sober because I bought the lie that a drink would help even things out. Keep strong! We are with you!
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:37 AM
  # 227 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GhostFace View Post
Hello Neverthought, hope you have a great day!
Thanks man, you too!
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Old 12-04-2015, 10:15 AM
  # 228 (permalink)  
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Hi all. Back to day 2. Ugh. Date night got me. I was stupid and didn't come to post or really do anything to prevent myself from drinking.
Cruddy day yesterday filled with anxiety. I've got to change things so this doesn't keep happening. I am truly sick of it.

This already seems to be such an awesome class! I really want to stay here with you all permanently.
I'll be checking in more, hope you all don't get sick of me!
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Old 12-04-2015, 10:19 AM
  # 229 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone. Day 3 here. Feel pretty good and slept well oddly enough. Guess this last bender wasn't as crazy as my past ones cuz usually it takes me 5 dAys, I'm really grateful that I didn't give in on day one and two. Max were at day 3 woo how lets get thru this weekend now ya hea'? Apple love the excerpt. Ghost nice job on 34 days. Gives me inspiration, I've had 66 once. Everyone have a happy sober Friday..il probably be staying in so I'll see u all around later
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Old 12-04-2015, 10:58 AM
  # 230 (permalink)  
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Relapsed today with two pints of Lager. Trying not to justify nor beat myself up for it. I know doing either would lead to me drinking more. Great forum this is.
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Old 12-04-2015, 11:03 AM
  # 231 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by McCartney View Post
Relapsed today with two pints of Lager. Trying not to justify nor beat myself up for it. I know doing either would lead to me drinking more. Great forum this is.
Relapse happen. You need to identify what trigger/caused you to slip and how you can build a plan when and if that same circumstance re appear itself.

Weekends are tough for me but I have a plan to go home, nap, and get to the gym. Saturday and Sunday i go to the gym as well to stay sober, it's like another high.
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Old 12-04-2015, 11:06 AM
  # 232 (permalink)  
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Oh man, the passing of Scott Weiland of STP. RIP

I was in my early 20's and listened to STP religiously. I was in a few cover bands and sang quite a few STP songs too.

Another one gone......
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Old 12-04-2015, 12:29 PM
  # 233 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone - I wasn't going to join another class, but I've been lurking here and see a lot of familiar names. I, too, have been struggling to get this sobriety to stick. I could go on and on, but bottom line is I want off of this merry go round. I was doing pretty well and then 2 nights ago I was in a car accident with my 2 little ones (everyone is fine, with the exception of our brand new car). I have been so stressed out over it and I let my AV get the best of me last night. So back to the dreaded Day 1. The good thing is I'm not really hungover, but mentally I am just so sick of this. Have a busy weekend ahead - tomorrow we are getting our Xmas tree and decorating and then Sunday is my youngest daughters 1st birthday. I want to be sober, present and hangover free for all of it. Thanks for letting me jump in. Looking forward to making December our month
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Old 12-04-2015, 12:36 PM
  # 234 (permalink)  
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Ladybug I'm so glad you and the little ones are ok. How scary. That is one of my worst fears, having a wreck with my kids in the car.
Glad you are joining us!
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:08 PM
  # 235 (permalink)  
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Checking in with everyone.

Me and the hubby aren't doing too well. We're fighting because I disclosed some information on the infection I am currently fighting (again) and he is embarrassed. He just made me feel awful about it.

Still fighting to shake this funk.. Feel like it would be better to isolate myself even from my husband. Just take my little kitty and run off somewhere quiet and warm. Currently, I am doing that by cuddling with my cat in my bed. I have the most awesome soft bedding.

In some aspects I am spoiled.

Right now hubby is at work and then I will be at work, then I am not going to want to come home. Im just going to go straight back to my bed and sleep. Even if its just to play possum..

I feel so lonely guys, I know you kind folks say you are in my corner, but I still feel so alone.

Now that Im done complaining about my life. Hope you all are doing well.

What are we all having for dinner? I need some inspiration.
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:21 PM
  # 236 (permalink)  
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Ladybug, I'm so glad everyone is ok! I know what you mean about mentally just feeling so sick of the merry go round, I am too. December will totally be our month!

newhope1 - I'm sorry you are having a rough time right now. I wish I could help with the dinner ideas, but my husband is out of town for work which means fruit paired with either hot dogs, chicken nuggets, or grilled cheese in this house since it's just the kids and I and I'm not in the mood for any complaining about dinner!
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:35 PM
  # 237 (permalink)  
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Wow, Ladybug! That is unimaginably scary. So so glad everyone is okay!

ChickChick! I don't think anyone will get sick of you!!! I dare you to post enough to try though!

McCartney, I'm sorry you drank. Don't ever stop trying!

Newhope, I'm so sorry you feel so alone. Sometimes it helps me just to go somewhere around people. Maybe a coffee shop or take yourself out and treat yourself to a nice dinner.
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:42 PM
  # 238 (permalink)  
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Gazpacho on a cold winter's night. That's just pure laziness...

I'll maybe make a second course....salmon, philadelphia, peas and spaghethi is what will be russled up as I'm not exactly stock piled...

oh well, could be worse
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:44 PM
  # 239 (permalink)  
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[QUOTE=newhope01;5674487
What are we all having for dinner? I need some inspiration.[/QUOTE]

Today lasagna...easy...and normal around here. But yesterday was curry quinoa with veggies and shrimp. yummm!!!
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:49 PM
  # 240 (permalink)  
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Welcome ladybug and so glad you and the kids are ok.

I don't wish that any of us were actually here, but since we are, I'm glad it seems a friendly and motivated group. And a few moms I've noticed which I can particularly relate to! Especially the dinner someone described (Sleepy?). I'm having a hard time with this mobile version and I like the full site where I can see who and what was said and "thank" posts.

My hubby is taking the "older" two kids (5 and 4) out for part of the evening. This would be a potential recipe for me to get the third to sleep and then have a couple glasses before hubby is even home. No, no, no, no! Not tonight..!!
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