TheRake

@Ubntubnt "then again there is less of the novelty excitement about quitting and more of a deep resignation that I am done drinking." Yes that pretty much sums up the way I'm feeling. I'm done on an emotional level. With a lot of sadness. Not sadness that I'm done, but sadness with what I've done...and for what? For what? An escape? A buzz? I still cannot answer what alcohol gave to me. Oh well onwards and upwards.

@Camryn yeah insomnia is a bitch eh? are you an early riser? I'm going back to early rising next week....I think that's my sober world. I tend to sleep better when I exercise and get up early
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aGEbu8NEus

@highwind good luck with the course! nice early start! It should be good

@JL2014 good luck man. Do you still go out together? Do fun things together? Crazy golf? Respect, affection, romance, humour......key ingredients in the maintenance programme

@Newhope I hope you get through the day alright...I know how you feel...job is driving me insane...I seem to be doing more administration than my actual job. Oh well four day weekend

@Carriek you can be free of this PRISON. For that's all it is, an absolute trap with no benefit at all. See the trap for what it is and step out of that prison and into freedom

I hope you're all doing well........this alcohol trap is a joke. A joke and a con. A confidence trick that we've all fallen for. time to be free...there's a better life waiting.

Neverthought

So, on to Day (3). Yesterday evening was quite a challenge. I was invited to a retirement party. I stayed for an hour and drank water, then had to get the hell out for there. Went home and made dinner. I was watching TV with my son and practically instinctively got up to grab a drink. I've had those flash backs before, but that one different. I just shook it off.

So, great job everyone for staying busy, drinking tea, coffee or that yummy drink that Rake made.

Hi newhope, how are you feeling today? Hi maximus, how are things going?

If you weren't aforementioned above Hello to:
CuteNGayYay
Camryn474
Ali123
GhostFace
Soberwolf
McCartney
Highwind
SleepyDots
Soberjim
Applekat
Ubntubnt
Tans
Abraxas69
RedAndy
Jbmetzger
Nmd
Krisinwi
JJ9
Grendhar
Melki
MHere
Snowbunting
ChickChick
Thomas59
SoberRunner
Worried75
Kirky
Sean30
Jsbodhi
julesonya
And last but not least Dee

If I missed someone, give me hell!

GhostFace

Morning time here.

I'm up and already at work. Took the day off from my to-do list and slept. Today I woke up feeling real tired and have alot of brain fog and no motivation. It day 34 for me, let's see if I can find some inspiration

julesonya

Seems every month I join one of these and then fail after 2 days. Oh to be sober for one week. I wish I could just be open about it. Tell my work "I need help!" Tell my family I'm an alcoholic. Finding an aa meeting tonight. My stomach is killing me,I need to eat, workout, get out of bed. Work on my plan. I don't want to die and this is slowly killing me.

GhostFace

Hello Neverthought, hope you have a great day!

Highwind

tell your family, they will understand im sure, they probably have an idea already, then go find a meeting. I wouldnt tell your work though. Ive told my family and theyre just worried and rooting for me.....its better this way knowing ive got people in my corner.

GhostFace

Don't wait. The time will never be just right. Make a plan and seek help if you must. I find that working out has kept me sober all this time.

What is your plan for sobriety?

What are your trigger?

Do you really want to be sober?

Maybe we could help you with a plan.

SleepyDots

Good morning class! Waking up to Day 3 here. I love seeing the list of members, Neverthought - I am proud of all of us for not giving up and continuing to fight for sobriety!

julesonya

My mom and I have talked about it,but mostly on a "hey you have a problem" and me "I know". My cousin recently checked into a treatment faculty for 28 days and I am jealous, I would do anything for even a 5 day detox. My ex husband could never know or he would take away my son. I can't take work off. I need to detox and get through the first 3-5 days but I can't take off of work. I was already fired from one job bc I was a drunk. Can't afford it this time.
I'll run through a Starbucks and force myself to eat.my biggest problem is finding my purpose, my spirit,in life.

SleepyDots

Julesonya- Is there a reason you can't tell your family?

ETA: I was typing too slow and see you already posted.

Neverthought

Dude...34 days, that's awesome. Looks to me like you'll be the inspiration. Look no further.

TheRake

I used the "if I put a gun to your head would you do it...." to motivate myself yesterday to do something that I was being lazy about...

Imagine the Taliban were going to take your son if you didn't get through this detox

KiKi0615

Happy Friday everyone and have a great sober weekend! I'm from the November 2015 thread & today is day 19 for me. I'm here to say each day gets better and better!

Cravings are reduced by 90%

Happiness up by 95%

Depression gone!

Anxiety down by 90%

Sleeping 95% better

Eating...mmmm...food tastes good!

Self-esteem up by 80+%

Exercise increased from NEVER to daily

Husband & kids happiness increasing by 100%!

Sweats gone!

Brain fog gone!

Bloated body gone!

Energy level up 90% but still resting a lot as my body heals

All that in just 19 short days!

Onward & upward! If we stay sober it just gets better & better...if we drink it just gets darker & darker!

Heck! I heard birds chirping for the first time in 2 years this morning!

:-) Never give up!!!

Neverthought

Jules....you're not alone with your questioning and don't look at it like a problem that has to be solved immediately.

I truly believe inside and outside of SR, that many are looking for those same inspirations.

What are your interests, hobbies and goals. Put the drink down and heal yourself and you can begin to pursue anything. And never be afraid to take risks. The only risk we shouldn't take is drinking.

Take care of your son and cherish him. My son is my motivation. I know I can caught up in the whirlwind of drinking and a year can flash by in a blink of an eye. Let that happen for a few years and I'll be left thinking and feeling like I missed out.

I do realize happiness or being content plays a role in motivation though. It's like the metaphor, putting the cart before the horse.

You've been very open with your feelings and honesty too. They are key factors in resolution.

Wheatgrass

I got on this site for the first time yesterday. I read for 14 hours before I realized my sign up email was in my spam folder. This is the first time in 20 plus years I have ever seriously considered quitting drinking. I am beginning day four today. Glad the detox is getting better. I had no idea it would be so bad or that it was dangerous. Sounds to me like that was the easy part. Thanx everyone for all the information and inspiration. I am happy to join the December 2015 crew.

Applekat

Hello December! Day 4 today. Tonight is when hubby will inevitably have a couple beers or glasses of wine. That's the thing - he can stop at 2, maybe 3 on a Friday night. I need to stop chasing that dream.

I highly suggest some recovery literature if anyone needs time-fillers or something to read during moments of craving. Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp is great. I enjoyed Parched by Heather King, as well. I have a whole list if anyone is ever interested.

I need to read through all the latest posts! I'm glad to be here, and glad for all of you, too! Stick with it.

"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years." Heather King

soberjim

Kiki ..congratulations on 19days!!

Applekat..I liked your post...it never does come. What comes for me is the waking up at 3:00 am realizing crap I did it again. It is getting harder and harder to wake up in the middle on the night, unable to go back to sleep and laying there upset with myself.

By contrast when I wake up in the morning without having drank I feel like I have won a victory.

it is now Friday afternoon for me. It will be difficult to leave work today and go home without getting anything to drink. Yet I know if I do I will be passed out by 8:30..

Lets get through the first week end of December without giving in!

Neverthought

Well, thanks for coming! And glad you've come this conclusion and looking for a better life. And congrats on day (4)!! That's a super start!!

I was 35 (now 45) when I realized I had a problem and contemplated quitting. I told myself when I hit 40, that would be it, a nice plateau to stop the madness. That didn't happen and a year later I joined SR in 2011. And I'm giving it my all. I haven't stepped away from SR for more than 3 months at a time (I regret stepping away at all). When I slip, I disappear for a while and come back and get back on the horse. Some attempts go better than others. This honest attempt, while only on day (3) feels very promising, and I can tell.

My point to you and anyone reading is don't give up and everyday of sobriety is momentum building to an eventual and total abstention.

Thanks for sharing UUN!

Applekat

Yes...the 3 AM jolt I call it....anxiety sets in, disgust...deep breathing, water chugging....big plans to never do this again!

Stubbs16

Hey neverthought, things are actually going ok, so far. Day three is here.

Life however, continues to be difficult. I hate whining and complaining but heres a short list of whats going on now:

My son and his family of four kids had to move back in with us. Financial reasons. He doesnt have a car either.

We are behind on our mortgage as well.

My car crapped out, hole in radiator, and electric fans dont work. Cant afford the repair now, so that means no transportation, cept for walking there. We live in an isolated area, not close to the bus line. My husband has a work van he uses strictly for work.

Dog has to have the acl surgery next week, its already been scheduled and paid for. Now, not sure as to how Im going to get her there.

I have three other appointments next week too, and no clue as to how I can keep them.

My husbands company just let a few people go, because of lack of work. Very concerned it may be him next.

All of these things stress me out, upset me very much, but drinking isnt going to fix any of them. So, Im not going to. In the past, these things have led me straight to the bottle, a huge binge, but I dont want to do that anymore. I can only control the way I react to all this. Its a new lesson though, and very very hard. I will pull it off.

I was use to drinking my problems, life away. Well, the problems stayed, and I just lost alot of my life. Nothing was ever gained from my binges. Period.

So, lets stay strong everybody. Welcome unique, and anyone else just joining.
Lets keep it sober folks.