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Class of October 2014 Part 23

Old 12-18-2015, 04:03 AM
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That's good stuff, Briar! I'm so proud of you.

It's been an especially stressful couple of days for you Venus. Bedtime does sound like a good idea. Maybe some relaxing music, too? I love Chopin's nocturnes. They're very dreamlike...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=liTSRH4fix4

A little work today and then we're off to the middle of the woods for a couple of days. I'm excited because I finally get some quiet time, lots of it. And I got my final surgery scheduled for a month from now. We should be totally settled in the house by then. I'm trying to look at it as another opportunity for down time, feeling a strong need for that lately.
Love yall!
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Old 12-18-2015, 04:05 AM
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I'm glad you shared a bit before approaching slumber. You're not alone. And Conquest provided a bit of sleepytime mood music for you.

After the whirlwind of activity down time is just the thing Conquest. The quiet of the woods should be a great start.
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Old 12-18-2015, 04:06 AM
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Not alone at all Venus. Sleep tight. We know you can get through this and we are right here.
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Old 12-18-2015, 04:27 AM
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Here for you Vee. Sleep well please.

Good to see you have a plan Briar. Positive steps in the right direction.

Christmas work party today too. Don't plan on being there too long like last years.

Just got to work so I'll check in later.

Best wishes all.
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Old 12-18-2015, 06:12 AM
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I remember your work party last year Arbor. Do you feel differently about it this time? If so, how? (Not to be nosey, so ignore if you want. I often learn from y'all's perspective )
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Briar View Post
Hi guys, busy here with parties and potlucks all week. Santa party at work tomorrow. One of the attorneys dresses up as Santa and everyone brings their kids. It's very cool. I'm bringing the cookies and stuff for the kids to decorate them, frosting and candy and stuff. My daughter is excited about it.

I talked with my therapist today and we finally laid out a defined treatment plan that I feel comfortable with. I feel bad because I was pretty hard on him because for a long time I felt like he just wasn't hearing me or understanding what I can realistically manage right now, but I think we've come to an agreement. I just want to get back to where I'm stable again and then work hard to learn how to stay that way. It's clear to me now that I didn't put enough work into learning early intervention strategies. I saw warning signs, but I didn't really understand them and didn't take them seriously. Managing this kind of illness really is different sober. It's hard, and I can't hide in a bottle anymore, I really have to be proactive, and I am just starting to understand how to do that. I have to take this more seriously than I did these past few months. I am reminded that bipolar has a 20% mortality rate, and eating disorders are even higher. I really play with fire when I don't work hard to manage it and advocate for myself. It sucks tremendously, but this is my life. Hopefully I'll get to keep it.

I feel hopeful now, and grateful to have a solid plan.

I am so happy that you have a solid plan, Briar.

Please know we are always here for you.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Good morning Mark. ♥

Really tough night for me ~ some very painful personal stuff came up.
Kind of crushing actually.
So I have a choice. Fall into a million pieces, or take a deep breath and believe I can get through this.
Trying to avoid the first option, so I'm taking a lot of deep breaths, drinking some water and heading for bed.
I could use any good thoughts you have to spare.
Sending love and hugs to you, dearest venuscat. Hope that you are sleeping peacefully.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:56 AM
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Love to all the Octsobers.

Be back later.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:57 AM
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Not nosy at all Mark. That's a good question. To be honest I'd rather not go, but that's not due to the drinking aspect. Nobody at the company is aware of my situation and that's the way it should be. It's not their business. So I'm much more comfortable this year in my own sober skin attending this thing. I'll enjoy the food that much more.

On a side note we have/had a full time mechanic at the company. Every year he'd say he wasn't going to the Christmas party. At the time I thought that was real disrespectful to not at least make a showing. Turns out after he left us last year I heard through the grapevine that he was in recovery and part of AA. I get it now. He was protecting himself. That being said I certainly don't want to be the kind of guy that lives a life like this. I'm management over here higher up in the ranks hoping to own a piece of this thing years down the road. So step it up Arbor and show em what you got.
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Old 12-18-2015, 08:10 AM
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'What you got' is great stuff, Arbor.

Be proud.
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Old 12-18-2015, 08:47 AM
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That's good Arbor. The reason a year ago I didn't want to go to some things was because I knew I would feel very tempted to drink. That aspect, although not completely gone, is less this year. My reason for either declining or making an early exit this year is because it's just not fun to be around some folks once the influence of alcohol is evident in the conversations etc..

And like you, this part of my life is (and will be) kept completely private and out of my work life. For many reasons that's not negotiable. If I were in your specific shoes I would handle it the same as you too. Thanks for your thoughts. I hope your former coworker is doing well.
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Old 12-18-2015, 12:41 PM
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Good points guys! I carry a lot of resentment towards alcohol. It still makes me angry when I'm around others that are drinking. And it's not that I want it or feel I'm missing out, I just feel like it steals the purity of the moment, if that makes sense... I simply skipped our office party this year because it was too much at the time. I understand feeling the need to go, Arbor. And the food will definitely taste better sober! Enjoy the night out
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Old 12-18-2015, 02:07 PM
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I agree, conquest. Excessive alcohol consumption by others makes me sad, too.
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Old 12-18-2015, 02:31 PM
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whatevers going on I hope you feel better today V

Have a good weekend guys

D
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Old 12-18-2015, 05:07 PM
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Last year when I hosted Christmas Eve it was alcohol free. This year people asked if they can bring stuff-I said OK. I will be serving juices, seltzer and soda. I'm not going to make a big deal of it but I'm not going to buy alcohol for them either.
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Old 12-18-2015, 06:03 PM
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I don't envision a time that I'll spend another cent on alcohol either BD. I hope your daughter is enjoying the break from her studies,

How are you doing today V?
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Old 12-18-2015, 06:09 PM
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What's up Vee? How's it going?
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Old 12-18-2015, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Conquest View Post
And it's not that I want it or feel I'm missing out, I just feel like it steals the purity of the moment, if that makes sense...
Makes complete sense Conquest. That's the truth of it.

And the resentment thing I'm starting to get. I kinda think of it as a good thing. In moderation of course. 8)
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Old 12-18-2015, 06:45 PM
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Sorry...four things going on at once. On overload... Back in a sec. ♥
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Old 12-18-2015, 06:58 PM
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I like the way Conquest phrased that as well. I wouldn't have been able to say it last year, now I'm right there with y'all. I would say that I socialize a little less now than in the past, but when I do it is more genuine. I withdrew almost completely for a while when my sobriety was a bit more fragile but am slowly opening up a bit as I feel appropriate. I'll always be protective of my sobriety but do feel that I'll get to the point of not analyzing all social situations in respect to whether or not alcohol is there.

How was the office party Arbor?

So I moved the tender plants to the garage for tonight's 28 degrees, but we're back to the 70s soon.....even for Christmas Day!
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