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One Year and Under Club Part 50

Old 12-10-2015, 12:56 PM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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Congrats again Toots! ((Hug))!
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Old 12-11-2015, 12:19 AM
  # 122 (permalink)  
Living and Loving Life at Last
 
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Aww thanks Peeps.

For anyone thinking 1000 days is just too far in the future to imagine, then remember I am here posting my support because I have counted the exact number of days each and every one of you have. Maybe not had the same problems but certainly walked 365 days as an Undie desperate to continue my recovery.

I guess I was lucky to have f2f support of understanding friends and hubby, and recovery support here, I haven't so far needed AA. I know now though, that I wouldn't hesitate to add it to my arsenal if I needed it to maintain my sobriety. Nothing is more important to me, because before it? Nothing mattered more than drink.

Be Strong Undies, the first sober holidays are not a breeze, but there is masses of support if you remember to reach out for it. X
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Old 12-11-2015, 10:10 AM
  # 123 (permalink)  
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Hey Undies,

Well, the weekend is soon upon us. What an amazing weekend it should be, too. It may hit 70 degrees tomorrow, so, I get to golf one more time prior to moving to FL with my peeps - Yeah!! Then on Sunday and Monday I get to hang out with my 11 month old granddaughter.

Yes, Glee...so many rewards in recovery!

Which leads me to a thought. Again, I can only offer MY experience, strength and hope.

What is AA to me. ...humm, is it f2f support? Yes, it has the capability to offer that if and when I might need it. In fact, on three occasions in the past 30 months I pulled out the Rolodex (haha, who even knows what this is?) of names and called on a member or two for strength and guidance in a challenging time.

Fact is, that just scratches the surface of what AA has given me. Many of those faces have become people that would go to any lengths for me, and visa-versa, for sure. However, it has been my exposure to their countless stories of hope, strength, courage and personal growth...physically, mentally and spiritually that has really grown my recovery.

It didn't add a layer to my recovery, it has offered a way of life that has had me change only one thing about myself - everything. I handle "almost" every new encounter in life through the eyes and teachings of those simple 12 steps.

FOR ME, drinking was but a symptom of some rather flawed thinking. I didn't have even a clue about that until assmosis from meeting exposure showed it to me.

I was given the tools to really learn about who I really am and to begin a long process of loving that person. They told me to keep coming back and they would love me until I learned to love myself. Today, I have the desire to project in humility, a thought totally foreign to my first many decades.

I guess what I'm saying is that I wanted to learn how to stop drinking and I have actually learned how to live in peace and serenity and often feel joy, happiness and freedom.

I must add that I have had no burning bush experience. I am not an AA hardliner/zealot. I believe that there are many paths to freedom from the obsession to drink. I am also not a converted religious fanatic. My higher power is simply a power greater than me...today I call it "The Universe." Tomorrow, it may change.

Some people can go to the gym and workout and get the results they desire and that is enough. I need crossfit, body-pump, yoga CLASSES. For me, being part of a team has made the desire to grow my sobriety and recovery so much easier that it ever was in the past.

Lastly, I am not pitching, just offering my own path which seems to be working for me. Bottom line, I hope you all find yours and it offers limitless possibilities and happiness without addiction getting in the way.

Let's enjoy another day free from mind altering substances.

Carlos

PS: Amp, thanks for the compliment...lol, you are too kind.
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Old 12-11-2015, 10:16 AM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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Thumbs up

Toots just to say your amazing every day Congratulations on 1000 days


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Old 12-11-2015, 10:16 AM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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Have a nice sober friday everyone
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Old 12-11-2015, 11:26 AM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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Congratulations Toots!!!! So awesome.
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Old 12-11-2015, 11:49 PM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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Thank you KIR, what plans do you have for the holidays?

Carlos, I am so happy to see what you have achieved for yourself in your recovery, you are a whole new person. Have a safe move down to fl xx
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Old 12-12-2015, 05:47 AM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone. it's a good day as I have been totally sober for three months now. It is a good accomplishment I don't want to go back under any circumstances.

Congratulations toots! 1000 days is awesome!
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Old 12-12-2015, 06:41 AM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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WWS - Congrats on 3 months sober! I don't want to go back, either.

Saskia - Beautiful advice on how you live in the moment.

Toots - Congrats on 1000 sober days! You have been such a rich source of inspiration and support for me. The "we" indeed!

Carlos - I couldn't agree with you more. I didn't know I needed AA until I went. And what started as a need turned into a want! It's provided me SO MUCH in the past 21 months. The lessons I've learned about gratitude, humility, and acceptance are allowing me to grow towards my potential instead of spinning in circles.

I am experiencing success in my career that I always wanted but never achieved. Since changing careers a year ago, I've been promoted twice, the second time to a highly coveted role. I just found out yesterday that I have been given the opportunity to take a compliance exam that will allow me to register as a supervisor. This will open up more opportunities for advancement.

The success I've found is the result of more than simply not drinking. (I am grateful that I hadn't reached a point in active addiction where I was stripped of responsibility - yet). The success I'm experiencing is the result of changing the toxic behavior and patterns underlying my drinking. The stinking thinking held me back for years, and I didn't even realize it.

Ironically, for me, success puts me in as much danger as life's lows! When I succeed in areas that one eluded me, I run the risk of feeling like I'm standing on top of the world, with all the answers.

I've learned in AA that success comes and goes. This too will pass. Recovery will help me keep living well no matter what circumstances I find myself in.

Im not a hardliner either. I go to one meeting a week, especially when my kids' schedules are busy. Most people in my life know that I don't drink, but aren't interested in the details of why or how. I don't discuss my sobriety a whole lot - though I would with anyone who asked. That's why I want AA and SR in my life. It gives me a place to share what I'm going through.

A year ago this weekend, on a mild December day in NYC, I met my sober friend Carlos f2f for the first time. He and I made our way through throngs of drunk Santas to 3 different AA meetings. Sharing our experience, strength, and hope with all the different people we met at those meetings was super cool.

For me, being able to share my recovery with people who understand, to love them, and to allow them to love me, has taught me to love myself too -- and led to success and joy and peace that always eluded me.
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Old 12-12-2015, 06:52 AM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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WWS, big congrats on 3 months

The longer I am sober the more comfortable, relaxed and happy I feel. Of course there are still down days (had one yesterday) but there aren't as many and they usually don't go as far down as they used to. And I'm no longer spending my time on thinking about drinking, debating with myself, getting the bottle and drinking/uninterested in doing anything fun or worthwhile, trying to remember not to pick up the phone when it rings and I was slurring my words, etc.

When I think about it, I wasted an enormous amount of time on drinking - whether actually drinking or thinking, planning, and recovering from same. It's no wonder I felt lost about how to spend my time and live my life without alcohol!
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Old 12-12-2015, 07:24 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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^^^^Agree Saskia!

WWS! ((HUG))!! Congrats doll face!

I thank all of YOU. ((Hug))! You have given me your experiences and trust me, I take what I need and leave the rest. The biggest thing I love about SR is support, kindness, and validation. Sometimes we need someone to be like "Smack! Hey! No! Stop!" And sometimes we need someone to be like "Hey, come here. Let's have a chat." We get all of that here! No we are NOT doctors or anything of the such. So many of us have issues due to bad childhoods, missing mother/father figures, no siblings, no close knit family. I have missed all of these. Bad childhood, no mother/father figures to learn from, no siblings, no close knit family. All of you help to fill those slots when you share here. For me, this is the void you help fill. Thank you, thank you, thank you! (((Hug)))!!! (Squeezing you all so tight you have to tell me let you go!)
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Old 12-12-2015, 07:28 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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(((Key)))
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Old 12-13-2015, 02:02 AM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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(((Sass))) sorry you had a down day yesterday sweetie, hope you feel better today.

WWS, congrats on 3 months, I remember what an achievement that felt, it was way longer than I had gone without a drink for about 30 years and I was feeling stronger in my focus at that point. Mind you, that was when PAWS began randomly swiping my legs out from under me too.

I went to my works Xmas do last night. A bunch of Normies getting rat ar$ed for hours. Big woop. I stuck it out until 11:30 then drove home. It's not as fun as it used to be, but I won't spend today in bed feeling ill either. TBH these are people I get on with well enough during the day, but never socialise with outside work, so why would I expect the night to be great? The temptation is there to say 'hang it, I'll just join in so I'm the same as everyone else' but you don't have to give in to it. So it's not the best night of the year. Getting pi$$ed would make it that either and would just wreck all the hard work I'd put in. So I sat and watched people from different firms who shared the event, as their dancing got drunker and drunker, and was relieved I no longer make a public fool of myself.
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Old 12-13-2015, 02:25 AM
  # 134 (permalink)  
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Hey Toots! I had my Christmas work do yesterday too. I didn't drink or feel like drinking, but the most important thing is that I also didn't feel disconnected. Until now, in sobriety, most social events (weddings, parties, barbecues...) have been about making it through. That's it. That was different yesterday. I felt connected to the people around me (those who weren't getting ratted!!!) and enjoyed a few interesting conversations that you wouldn't normally have in the work place.

This is big progress for me and puts me in more optimistic mood for the holiday season.

Have a great day, all!
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Old 12-13-2015, 04:23 AM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Amp, so happy to hear you are progressing to starting to enjoy life :-)

Toots, a down day doesn't feel like a black pit anymore - and I know it will pass. Yesterday I gave myself a slight shove and went to a choral event of holiday singing. Lovely. My big thing now is to get myself moving physically. In past years, I worked hard at fitness but every time I was feeling really good about it, I got hit with a new significant health issue, some quite serious. So I associate fitness with getting seriously ill. I know I need to push past that but haven't been successful for any real length of time. Still trying. I'm hoping it will be like getting sober - work at it hard and never give up.
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Old 12-13-2015, 04:49 AM
  # 136 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Amp, so happy to hear you are progressing to starting to enjoy life :-) Toots, a down day doesn't feel like a black pit anymore - and I know it will pass. Yesterday I gave myself a slight shove and went to a choral event of holiday singing. Lovely.
I have been trying to find the balance between overdoing it when I'm tired and a slight shove when I'm feeling lazy. This really resonated with me.

Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
My big thing now is to get myself moving physically. In past years, I worked hard at fitness but every time I was feeling really good about it, I got hit with a new significant health issue, some quite serious. So I associate fitness with getting seriously ill. I know I need to push past that but haven't been successful for any real length of time. Still trying. I'm hoping it will be like getting sober - work at it hard and never give up.
This resonated with me too!! Just when I had been achieving & maintaining strong fitness I was hit with psoriatic arthritis. About six months before I got sober I started getting sidelined by pain that made me unable to exercise in my feet and ankles.

Then I started sorting through my recovery and I couldn't differentiate between toxic thinking, pain and fatigue from undiagnosed autoimmune arthritis, and PAWS.

I've tried various times to "get back in shape" over the course of my recovery, but been sidelined by arthritis each and every time - and also by my type A drive to go harder, faster, and more intense, and drive towards my previous level of fitness, instead of heeding the rheumatologist's advice to stay slow and steady.

Saskia, you must be in my brain today. Either that or we alcoholics aren't all that different from each other.

Any suggestions on a rational approach would be greatly appreciated!!
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Old 12-13-2015, 05:42 AM
  # 137 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by gleefan View Post
I have been trying to find the balance between overdoing it when I'm tired and a slight shove when I'm feeling lazy. This really resonated with me.



This resonated with me too!! Just when I had been achieving & maintaining strong fitness I was hit with psoriatic arthritis. About six months before I got sober I started getting sidelined by pain that made me unable to exercise in my feet and ankles.

Then I started sorting through my recovery and I couldn't differentiate between toxic thinking, pain and fatigue from undiagnosed autoimmune arthritis, and PAWS.

I've tried various times to "get back in shape" over the course of my recovery, but been sidelined by arthritis each and every time - and also by my type A drive to go harder, faster, and more intense, and drive towards my previous level of fitness, instead of heeding the rheumatologist's advice to stay slow and steady.

Saskia, you must be in my brain today. Either that or we alcoholics aren't all that different from each other.

Any suggestions on a rational approach would be greatly appreciated!!
One thing I have been doing well is that I have been doing a good exercise program regularly for years sober or not. I was an avid runner even doing a marathon in 3:11 although that was many years ago. Now I mainly walk and do elliptical and weights in the gym.

Your doctors advice is spot on! Here is a few things I've learned-

Start out slowly. If you start right where you left off you are courting disaster. Progress gradually. Don't increase your distance or intensity or distance more than 10% a week. Our bodies have to adapt to exercise just like it adapts to sobriety. I've had every knee and ankle pain known to man to prove it.

Recovery is essential. Exercise does tear down our muscles, not build them up like the common perception. Once this minor damage is done, then our bodies kick into gear to repair the damage and usually better than it was given enough time. Over many cycles of this is generally how you get in better shape. Usually recover 3 to 4 days for weights and I would suggest no more than three days a week for cardio to start..

Your body does adapt to the stresses put on it but this a gradual process. And as we get older of course we must lower our expectations because it doesn't adapt like it used to. A slight discomfort is good, but pain is bad-Stop!

I hope this helps Glee and Saskia. I'm going for my walk now!
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Old 12-13-2015, 07:57 AM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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Amp-that's great progress. I can't wait until I feel connected at social events. I really do like the freedom that comes with being sober. I'm starting to feel like I belong at little events for my son instead of trying to find ways to avoid them so I can stay home and drink.

Way has some very good advice on getting fit. I've always tried to stay in pretty good shape, but the last 4+ years have taken a toll. I was getting weak, aging, and put on 35 pounds. My knees started killing me, my hands are aching, and my hips. I think a lot from carrying extra weight and some just plain old life. Anyway, over the last few months I've slowly been working toward getting fit. Ive lost 24 pounds and have really started to build muscle. It's been a slow process because my body still aches, (and I was still drinking when I started) but I'm just listening to my body and modifying the exercises that I know strain me.
Take small steps each day to slowly build your endurance and strength so you don't derail your progress. Good luck Glee and Saska!
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Old 12-13-2015, 09:12 AM
  # 139 (permalink)  
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Glee, lol - are you my sober twin, perhaps? I don't think that there is any connection between exercising and my medical problems but it sure is discouraging. Even a slow and gradual process seems to be beyond me! I've been really thinking about how I can overcome my tremendous inertia when it comes to exercise. I thought I had it licked when I started aqua aerobics nearly a year ago but my crummy immune system let me down again and I'm still struggling with athlete's foot even after about 5 months away from the pool :-(
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Old 12-13-2015, 11:45 AM
  # 140 (permalink)  
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Hi Gang,

Still sober as a saint coming towards 8 months. Feels good.

Clear headed, stronger.

Still like to visit you all here. Not for fun, for real. I read, learn, remember, galvanize.

Not much to say except thank you for saving my life.

Appreciate all of my Bro's and sisters here immensely.

I toasted a drink, on 2 occasions recently, w out too much issue.

I don't sip it, I toast it, put it to my lips and put it down. Don't want the poison in my body anymore.

Proudly sober. Surrendered to sobriety.
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