One Year and Under Club Part 50
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
For me sobriety was about learning to vent about a bad day instead of drinking over it - and learning tools to handle a bad day.
I had a bad day yesterday. I started complaining about what happened and a friend who has a strong spiritual component said, today is a new day, enjoy! I thought that was great advice.
I had a bad day yesterday. I started complaining about what happened and a friend who has a strong spiritual component said, today is a new day, enjoy! I thought that was great advice.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Glee, here in the old folks' home there are some unwritten customs that have been very helpful for me. The biggest no-no is saying negative things about people. The rule at our morning coffee klatch is "no politics, no religion and no 'organ recitals'". We are all getting older and you don't get to this point in life being totally healthy. It's really quite amazing how "up" the atmosphere is here. We're at a point in our lives where we are truly grateful for whatever we've got. Gossip is frowned on and what there is of it is pretty tame and mostly not about people.
We don't generally hold onto resentments and that's a great way to live :-)
We don't generally hold onto resentments and that's a great way to live :-)
Hello everyone----Having a good day and hope everyone is doing well.Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Imnotalonjusblu - Great job on two weeks. I don't mean to sound old or wise, but I remember when I was two weeks sober. I made it there twice - third try was a charm for me. In any event what helped me make it past the first couple weeks was keeping accountable one day at a time. Keep up the good work!
Saskia - I think it's amazing that the culture of your community is so positive. It sounds like an amazing place to live. Is it designed that way by staff & directors, or is it just the mindset of the people who live there? I bet it plays a role in sustaining sobriety.
I've noticed that even on your "down" days, when you share that you're dealing with SAD or PTSD, you're "up". You're contributing here, sharing your perspective - and honestly everything you share helps so much. Truly, what you share sticks with me and becomes a part of whatever I'm working through. Thank you!!
WWS - I tell you, inspiration can come from the most unexpected places. My wise friend is a 25 year old coworker!
Toots - I think you bring up a really good point about the sense of accomplishment that can come from riding out a craving til it goes away.
Amp - I hope all is well!
Babs - It's so good to see you!
This afternoon at work I decided to take a firm stance with one of the new hires I coach and he mouthed off to me!! The material that they have to learn is vast, but I needed to reinforce that he needs to know the basics.
Fortunately I have experience dealing with customers who escalate - and even more fortunately, that experience has been informed by my recovery principles and tactics.
While I'm sure it'll be few and far between that anyone tells me off, it's bound to happen. I sought some on the spot advice from my supervisor for next time.
Since it happened at the end of the day, on the way home I worked through it in my head. I realized I was internalizing what he said about me. I put an end to that quick, thanks to my ongoing recovery and step work.
[*] Regardless of whether his opinions held merit, it was trumped by his behavior being aggressive and rude, and completely inappropriate for a professional environment. (Upholding appropriate boundaries).
[*] I am cheerful and helpful. (Believing my value and worth.)
[*] The job is demanding and if he's struggling with the basics he may feel distressed. (Empathy & willingness to extend beyond my own self centered point of view.
Before recovery I'd have leveled him on the spot like a freight train, and told everyone who would listen what a jerk he is. I'm learning to modulate my response.
Recovery isn't just saving me from circling the drain with booze, it's saving me from wrecking my career prospects too. If I'd leveled him like a freight train, my poor boss would have had to do major HR damage control. By behaving maturely, and humbly seeking feedback, I'm impressing my supervisors and managers.
It's far from perfection over here, but I find in recovery I'm making incremental progress. Keep it up ODAAT, Undies!!
Saskia - I think it's amazing that the culture of your community is so positive. It sounds like an amazing place to live. Is it designed that way by staff & directors, or is it just the mindset of the people who live there? I bet it plays a role in sustaining sobriety.
I've noticed that even on your "down" days, when you share that you're dealing with SAD or PTSD, you're "up". You're contributing here, sharing your perspective - and honestly everything you share helps so much. Truly, what you share sticks with me and becomes a part of whatever I'm working through. Thank you!!
WWS - I tell you, inspiration can come from the most unexpected places. My wise friend is a 25 year old coworker!
Toots - I think you bring up a really good point about the sense of accomplishment that can come from riding out a craving til it goes away.
Amp - I hope all is well!
Babs - It's so good to see you!
This afternoon at work I decided to take a firm stance with one of the new hires I coach and he mouthed off to me!! The material that they have to learn is vast, but I needed to reinforce that he needs to know the basics.
Fortunately I have experience dealing with customers who escalate - and even more fortunately, that experience has been informed by my recovery principles and tactics.
While I'm sure it'll be few and far between that anyone tells me off, it's bound to happen. I sought some on the spot advice from my supervisor for next time.
Since it happened at the end of the day, on the way home I worked through it in my head. I realized I was internalizing what he said about me. I put an end to that quick, thanks to my ongoing recovery and step work.
[*] Regardless of whether his opinions held merit, it was trumped by his behavior being aggressive and rude, and completely inappropriate for a professional environment. (Upholding appropriate boundaries).
[*] I am cheerful and helpful. (Believing my value and worth.)
[*] The job is demanding and if he's struggling with the basics he may feel distressed. (Empathy & willingness to extend beyond my own self centered point of view.
Before recovery I'd have leveled him on the spot like a freight train, and told everyone who would listen what a jerk he is. I'm learning to modulate my response.
Recovery isn't just saving me from circling the drain with booze, it's saving me from wrecking my career prospects too. If I'd leveled him like a freight train, my poor boss would have had to do major HR damage control. By behaving maturely, and humbly seeking feedback, I'm impressing my supervisors and managers.
It's far from perfection over here, but I find in recovery I'm making incremental progress. Keep it up ODAAT, Undies!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Glee, good progress! I like the way you are thinking your way through the challenges.
I don't think the environment was designed this way - I credit some really awesome first residents, some of whom are still with us. I feel I'm learning so much about how to comfortably get along in a group. There is plenty of drinking before and during dinner but no one pushes it. I've been very calm and clear about my not drinking and am rarely asked anymore. When someone does ask now, it's usually on the order of "you don't drink, right?".
I don't think the environment was designed this way - I credit some really awesome first residents, some of whom are still with us. I feel I'm learning so much about how to comfortably get along in a group. There is plenty of drinking before and during dinner but no one pushes it. I've been very calm and clear about my not drinking and am rarely asked anymore. When someone does ask now, it's usually on the order of "you don't drink, right?".
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Originally Posted by gleefan 
Hi Drake!!! What's new?? 
HI Glee
I am plugging along. Work is insane again, money troubles with a couple deadbeat owners and a problem cropped up in the indoor pool renovation. Both are surmountable I am sure, but causing a lot of drama. I hope to avoid it all.Like you in the past, I would have made a spectacle of myself and my "victim".. probably while half crocked or hung over... or both. Thus the issues above, while problematic, are not the end of the world, until proven otherwise!
Undies!
The Long and Winding Road....
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 897
Hey you guys hope all are well the nagging insidious voice of alcoholism is gnawing at my brainstem..just putting it out there. It doesn't like it when it doesn't get fed..oh well its had enough of my life so it can starve...
Peace v
Peace v
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Hi all! Doing good here. I barely think about drinking these days, but I'm staying aware because I know that's how a lot of people get pulled back down. Being over confident and caught off guard.
Vandermast I haven't heard my AV in a while but I remember how convincing it can be. Hang in there! A lot of the time just coming here and posing that it's bothering me makes it stop. Admitting it takes away its power.
I can't wait to have some time off so I can actually get back on these boards and contribute. I miss my meetings too.
Hope everyone is well and having a good year so far!!
Vandermast I haven't heard my AV in a while but I remember how convincing it can be. Hang in there! A lot of the time just coming here and posing that it's bothering me makes it stop. Admitting it takes away its power.
I can't wait to have some time off so I can actually get back on these boards and contribute. I miss my meetings too.
Hope everyone is well and having a good year so far!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Nice to hear from you Site! I'm in a similar situation to you right now in that AV has gone quiet and I don't really think much about drinking. In fact, I actively avoid thinking about drinking, diverting my internal monologue whenever it comes up.
That's why it's so important for me to remain active on SR as it keeps me aware of how far I've come and that I'm always just one drink away from square one!
Happy Friday to all of you!
That's why it's so important for me to remain active on SR as it keeps me aware of how far I've come and that I'm always just one drink away from square one!
Happy Friday to all of you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Sasskia- It sounds like your community is a great place to be.
Vandermast- That AV does get better, but like I posted recently it can rear its ugly head at any time so we all need to be ready for it and have some good strategies to deal with it.
Thanks glee! Posting here is great place to vent and I thank everyone here for being able to do it when I need to. Thanks for pointing out some of the many unexpected benefits of recovery.
Drake- that is a great perspective on problems at work.
amp- Posting here has become important for me too. Have a happy Friday!
Vandermast- That AV does get better, but like I posted recently it can rear its ugly head at any time so we all need to be ready for it and have some good strategies to deal with it.
Thanks glee! Posting here is great place to vent and I thank everyone here for being able to do it when I need to. Thanks for pointing out some of the many unexpected benefits of recovery.
Drake- that is a great perspective on problems at work.
amp- Posting here has become important for me too. Have a happy Friday!
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