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One Year and Under Club Part 50

Old 01-10-2016, 10:03 AM
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Great way to look at it Glee.
How you doing Way? Just think it through and focus on something else. Get through today! You've got this!
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Old 01-10-2016, 10:40 AM
  # 422 (permalink)  
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Hi undies!

Dee I can't remember my password and the email address I linked to this username I no longer have so I am unable to log into the mobile app on my cellphone. Any other ways to find out what my password is??

Grace so happy to see you here! Hope you're doing well.

WWS hope womp is a little easier for you today. Glad you decided to post about it tho rather then bottle up those cravings your having.

I've really been struggling this past week. Lots of stress I'm dealing with. Yesterday at womp I had to fire someone, that's never fun for me to do and to make it worse the employee was begging to stay but had already had way too many chances.

Also I only have one good friend left these days who happens to be sober. I found out last night that my friend had been lying to me for several months about something dumb. I felt very hurt when I got home last night and betrayed. My first thought was to just go drink and go back to my isolating self thinking I don't really need any friends. This friend was someone I've known for a year now and thought I could 100% trust. With all my ongoing trust issues this really is messing with my head. I feel like I have no one now that I can really trust and confide in f2f. Even if I do forgive this friend I don't know that I will ever have that trust back. When my other friend broke my trust about a year ago I never really forgot about it or could get past it and just couldn't even stand hanging out with her anymore.

I just want to drink but I know I shouldn't
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Old 01-10-2016, 11:27 AM
  # 423 (permalink)  
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Hang on n there BF! Think how much worse you'll probably feel tomorrow morning if you wake up with a hangover on top of your troubles!

Hope things are looking up for you WW. Good job on posting your struggles here on SR. Rooting for you. I know you can get past this. You just need to believe it and want it enough.
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Old 01-10-2016, 02:53 PM
  # 424 (permalink)  
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BoozeFree, strictly my opinion of course - I never trust friends 100%. I view that as destructive all-or-nothing thinking. There is a whole spectrum of trust - some people I wouldn't trust at all, a few people I trust with a good deal and the rest fall somewhere in between. It's not, IMHO, a virtue to trust someone. It's based on an accumulation of experience. I doubt there's anyone I would trust with things really important to me in less than a rather long time (definitely longer than a year).

Others are free to disagree, If you've been disappointed more than once I would think carefully about expectations and reality. Many people mean well but it's human nature for many to want to share a juicy bit of gossip. I've learned that the hard way.
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Old 01-10-2016, 04:17 PM
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(((BoozeFree))) - I'm so sorry you're feeling hurt. I was party to laying someone off Friday. I posted up thread about how the situation made me feel like drinking. Also I'm struggling with some social stuff too!! I posted about it on the friends and family page. I'm not sure how to link to it, but it may help you to read the advice that others shared with me.

In any event Saskia makes a really good point about people's limitations, and about having realistic expectations of others. Saskia, thank you. I needed to hear your advice and wisdom, too!!

From the Big Book:

"My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my 'rights' try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my 'rights,' as well as my expectations, by asking myself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety'? And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level - at least for the time being."
Alcoholics Anonymous,
p. 452

First of all BF, thank you. By posting your struggles, you helped me sort out some issues that I'm going through. As different as our lives may be, we alcoholics are awfully similar to each other.

We are here too to support and encourage you. Don't underestimate the support that alcoholics in recovery can "virtually" provide to each other!

If you want F2F support I highly recommend you head to a meeting - one that the sober person who you're frustrated with isn't attending - and share with the group in general terms that you're struggling with trust issues and it's making you want to drink. Most people can relate, and will offer a soft place for you to just be while you ride out these cravings.

Thanks everyone. Keeping this page active keeps me farther from a drink!
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Old 01-10-2016, 04:51 PM
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Hi guys;
I know it is only my second post but wanted to check in.
today is Day 55 for me and I'm getting back into
the "rhythm" of sobriety again.

However, I'm eating way too much ice cream and chocolate
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Old 01-10-2016, 05:05 PM
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Hawkeye, good for you on 55 days! The food can come later but the alcohol is best addressed first.
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Old 01-10-2016, 06:14 PM
  # 428 (permalink)  
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Hawkeye - 55 days is great; feeling in sync with sober life is even better! I'm happy to hear that! I agree with Saskia that staying alcohol free is the priority now. Food and/or sweets won't damage life the way booze does. Keep up the good work!
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Old 01-10-2016, 08:14 PM
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Great job Haweye. BF- I'm so sorry you're struggling with your friend. It's tough when somebody you trust lies to you. Have you asked them directly why they did it and let them know how hurt and disappointed you are? Was there fear or a valid (if there could ever be) reason that they lied to you? I know people sometimes lie to avoid hurting other people.
Anyway, we are here is you need to talk.
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Old 01-11-2016, 12:17 AM
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Hey Hawkeye, as you become more confident in your sobriety your self esteem rises, at that time you will want to do something about your lifestyle, eating an exercise. For now the biggest goal is to go to bed sober.

BeFree, I am sorry to hear another friend has let you down, I have ever struggled with trust issues and have been betrayed by those closest to me in the past. I have learned to always hold back, yet be there for others.
It is good that you recognise the pattern of nursing your hurt with alcohol, but alcohol is the worst of friends and betrayed you too, pulling you back into its grip when you were within touching distance of a huge milestone. It may pretend to be your only friend at times, but it's not. You have better, stronger more trustworthy friends here. I know we are not f2f but we are real.
Meantime find a meeting and go along, talk to three people there. I am sending loving hugs sweetheart xx

Amp! How could you accuse yourself of blarting on when you were talking about me!! haha. Yes changing our view of what we are doing is all we can do. It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves and feel deprived, but thinking about it as a positive choice makes a huge difference to the psyche.

We may have a potentially life threatening illness but we don't have to pay out thousands for a cure, we just chose not to drink. It is no longer an issue.

WWS I hope you kept yourself busy and avoided the pitfall of temptation.

We are here in part because comforting ourselves with alcohol when things go wrong JUST. DIDN'T. WORK. We tried it, for far too long, all it did was postpone all those feelings of anger and resentment, added a hellish headache, stole money from us, caused arguments and left us feeling worse. Time to change the method of dealing with crap days folks.
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Old 01-11-2016, 01:33 AM
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Thanks for that , Toots. Agree with you. Time to step up and change the game plan!

Hawkeye, don't worry about the ice cream and chocolate. The same thing happened to me and a lot of other people. One thing that we often don't realize is that there is a lot of sugar in alcoholic drinks. Our bodies crave alcohol but they also crave that sugar rush. I for one used sugary food to offset cravings for alcohol. It was a means to an end and I don't regret it at all. I realised that, despite all the sweet foods, I was still consuming less calories than I had been drinking pints of beer every night!

Almost 9 months on and my sugar consumption has gone down though I definitely eat more sweet things than I did while I was drinking. I will try to cut down but I'm not especially worried by it. Just happy to be off the booze!

Congrats on 55 days! A really good solid start. Make sure you make it to at least a hundred because stuff really starts to change
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:56 AM
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Hi everyone. Work went much better yesterday and I feel better again. And the best part is no more weekends until next month! I made it through this one but it is a good reminder how long this process is and the pitfalls. Thanks everyone for being here and for your support.

Congratulations on 55 days Hawkeye!
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:32 AM
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Glad you feel better, WWS! This is definitely a process not a one-time event.
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Old 01-11-2016, 06:56 PM
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WWS - This is a great time to do an analysis on what went wrong over the weekend. Was it just being at work on the weekend? Was it that work was more stressful than usual? Stress at home? What else can you think that may have triggered your craving? Then, what relieved it? Those answers can help you prepare for next time.

Toots - Better put than I could ever say it.

Amp - I love your posts. They are a far from blarting; they ramble delightfully!!

BF - Hope you're hanging in there.

Have a good night Undies!
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Old 01-12-2016, 05:24 AM
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Glee- It was mainly stress at work. Things are understaffed on weekends and then someone called out. I called the boss to ask for help but got a no. The football payoffs you know. That just set thongs off for a bad day. I let him know firmly that I really needed help and I hopefully I got through.

The easy way put to forget about stupid stuff like this is with a bottle of wine, but I've reminded myself that I'm not going to to fall for that trap any more. Bad days happen but the next day is always better. I just have to take things one day at a time.

By the way I have been sober for 4 months now!!!
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Old 01-12-2016, 05:34 AM
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Congrats on 4 months Wayward! Excellent job!!
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:12 AM
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Happy 4 months, WWS. Great job!
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:09 AM
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WWS way to go!
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Old 01-12-2016, 10:19 PM
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Congrats WWS and well done for coping on a bad weekend. How much better do you feel than if you had caved and instead of celebrating 4 months you were back on day 1.?


Keep on Keepin on Undies, I'm rooting for you ( in the British sense, not the mucky one!)
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Old 01-13-2016, 05:31 AM
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Thanks everyone for your support and letting me vent about a bad day. I do feel much better now. Yes Toots, 4 months is much better than day one. I work again today and then I have 5 days off! Stuff like that is always good to look forward to. Have a nice day everyone!
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