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Class of November 2015 Part 4

Old 11-29-2015, 07:46 AM
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Sry you had a bad week SA .. Not a great one my way either . Time to regroup and make this real : )
Day 4 in Snowy newfiundland
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:46 AM
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I have faith in you strangeangle, it’s not easy and you have to start somewhere, so make today your last day 1. What helped me was breaking the cycle of day 3 crashes, and once I passed day 3, I focused on making it to day 5. I’m starting day 8 today and I’m already feeling better. My next goal is 2 weeks. Take it one step at a time. As with any work or school project, break it up into doable segments and don’t focus on the entirety, otherwise it can be overwhelming and create anxiety in itself. One…Day…At…A…Time!
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
I have faith in you strangeangle, it’s not easy and you have to start somewhere, so make today your last day 1. What helped me was breaking the cycle of day 3 crashes, and once I passed day 3, I focused on making it to day 5. I’m starting day 8 today and I’m already feeling better. My next goal is 2 weeks. Take it one step at a time. As with any work or school project, break it up into doable segments and don’t focus on the entirety, otherwise it can be overwhelming and create anxiety in itself. One…Day…At…A…Time!
What Odelle said! ^^^ :-)
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:55 AM
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Hello everyone , I am happy to be here with you, I started SR last year 11/27/14 after 10 years of drinking, and was sober for 10 months , some situations in my life changed that caused me stress and most of all I stopped reading my Bible as I should, well for the past 2 month I have been drinking again. I am so disappointed in myself. My husband does not drink , and he hates it when I do . I hate I allowed myself to get back in this trap.
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
They have all gone out to the cinema. ... my husband doesn't want to talk to me, the marriage is over I guess. I am crying and sobbing and googling ways to kill myself... the magnitude of my stupidity is settling in, the harm and the damage and the fool I have made of myself. I think I am probably depressed anyway, certainly have some kind of mental problems, my husband hasn't met my needs really for ages, so pissed brain did something about it. With a guy up the road in the village...I just can't get over my stupidity.....

I can be sober, so far, but can I ever get over this.... I can't see how.

I can also see all the good my husband does, all the nice kind things... and now I have hurt him so bad....he has to deal with me ffs, that's bad enough job. Nown wonder he's grumpy and finds it hard to love me.... I'm a ****** nightmare.
enfinthechange, I can relate first of all. Unmet needs and I finally did something about it far too many times. The **** hit the fan when suspicions about me and his sisters husband arose, so I confessed to hubby and his sister. I felt suicidal at first, but it was actually the people I hurt making me feel that way because they looked at me like total scum. Apologize and move on. If he doesn't talk to you, so be it. Don't beat yourself up. My mishap happened in January and things are working out slowly but surely in my marriage. Don't expect him to forgive you overnight. Forgive yourself first. You wanted something you were not getting but you went about it in an unfaithful way. It's wrong, but it happened. Now it's time to pick up the pieces. The fact of the matter is there is still a void to be filled, some satisfaction that you are not getting, but lets focus on the sobriety first. We can do this together. (((Hugs))))
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post

Where are you blackbird???
Hey Kiki, sorry, my phone died at the bar. I was bored out of my mind watching hubby and friends get bombed. Shot shot shot, beer break, shot shot shot. Lucky for me he drinks like this once, maybe twice a year. (I drink like that every 3 days or so)

Yes he got sick, and he's feeling awful right now.

The desire to drink faded really quickly as I watched them all progress. I got some good sushi and was thinking of heading home, but wanted to make sure those closest to me got home safe. My husband was planning to stay out and the DD who was "totally sober" was totally not. He was on something else besides the 10 drinks I watched him have.

Safe and sober with 15 days.
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:01 AM
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Day 29

Good morning all!

I too have had indiscretions in the past.When i am hammered i seek attention,even know my other half is always willing and present.The sober me would never do anything to hurt my other-half.I came clean and so did she and we are more in love than ever!(13+yrs)I even forgave myself!!!

On a lighter side ...if our class was a football team Kiki would be our quarterback(lol).

Onward and upwards!!!!
Cheers
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:07 AM
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Hi Denise! Great to hear from you! Hang in there. Nothing worthwhile in life is easy. I believe in you!

Blackbird! I'm glad you are ok and I'm glad your husband doesn't go out drinking much. Being in bars and around people who drink can not only be torture, but it can really give our AV's more power!

Someone told me once "if you sit in a barber chair long enough you will get a haircut. If you sit in a bar long enough you will have a drink."

I was a bar drinker so there is ZERO chance I will be going into one for a long time if ever. I'm glad you made it thru...just please be careful. This disease is evil & sneaky!

I just care...A LOT! Xo
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:09 AM
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Sleep was not good at all last night. I'm exhausted from getting up constantly and tossing and turning. Here's hoping that Day2 sleep goes a little better! Have a great day everyone!
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Max74 View Post
Day 29 Good morning all! I too have had indiscretions in the past.When i am hammered i seek attention,even know my other half is always willing and present.The sober me would never do anything to hurt my other-half.I came clean and so did she and we are more in love than ever!(13+yrs)I even forgave myself!!! On a lighter side ...if our class was a football team Kiki would be our quarterback(lol). Onward and upwards!!!! Cheers
That's amazing about you & your other-half! Gives me hope! 29 days! Yessss!!!

I've always wanted to be a quarterback! Lol
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Augusta1893 View Post
Sleep was not good at all last night. I'm exhausted from getting up constantly and tossing and turning. Here's hoping that Day2 sleep goes a little better! Have a great day everyone!
It WILL get better! I'm only 14 days in & my sleep is much better!
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:13 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post

It WILL get better! I'm only 14 days in & my sleep is much better!
Indiscretions.... that my current problem... dreading going out to the world tomorrow. .. knowing stares imagined all over... life ruined..... oh nooòoo
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:14 AM
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Day 7 .... strange tough night out of the blue. Ears ringing, arms numb, stomach going crazy. So I'm sleep deprived but it feels 10x better than sleep deprived AND hung. Going to walk the dogs and take a nap later. Coldest night of the year so far here near Frisco . . . not worried about drinking. Now eating and sleeping? Hmmmm.

Sober Sunday or Sunday Eve (to those on other continents!) to all!

And congrats to the newcomers, it is never too late to join us!
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:18 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Indiscretions.... that my current problem... dreading going out to the world tomorrow. .. knowing stares imagined all over... life ruined..... oh nooòoo
I don't know all of the specifics of the situation, but everyone you will cross paths with tomorrow is likely not aware of your indiscretion. After my blackout binges I feel the same way...and it makes me isolate myself. When I do get out I find that interactions with others really helps. I quickly realize much of the anxiety is in my head. Hold your head up!! You are heading in the right direction...away from alcohol.
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post

I don't know all of the specifics of the situation, but everyone you will cross paths with tomorrow is likely not aware of your indiscretion. After my blackout binges I feel the same way...and it makes me isolate myself. When I do get out I find that interactions with others really helps. I quickly realize much of the anxiety is in my head. Hold your head up!! You are heading in the right direction...away from alcohol.
As long as I don't pick up the Sunday night beer.... just don't do it .... I can get till tomorrow sober. My shame will not drown me....
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:27 AM
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Day 24 and I'm trying to ignore that I have a bit of a stutter in the past couple of weeks that I didn't notice before.I hope it goes away. My rosacea of the face has disappeared which I am so happy about. My face was looking bright red, scaly, just horrible in mid summer and I thought vanity would motivate me to stop drinking but it didn't.
Good news, the turkey I ate that made my stomach churn didn't give me any food poisoning but I threw it away. I told my husband about my AV suggesting I drink a half pint of vodka just in case and he gave me a ridiculous look. Guess he doesn't realize a thought is just a thought.
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:32 AM
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Trying to hold onto the positive. I had a good night of sleep. I am sober. I have no desire to drink.

But I'm still feeling depressed. It seems like I traded anxiety for depression. I am tired of struggling.

I'm sorry for this post. I hope I'm not triggering anybody with my low mood. I'm reaching out for help.
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Old 11-29-2015, 09:14 AM
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Hi Patricia68. I’m no stranger to depression; I’ve struggled with it my entire life it seems. Many people are able to be treated medically but unfortunately I never found the magic pill. My last attempt with AD meds (summer ’14) turned anxiety depression into anxiety rage, which I really think contributed to my leap off of the sobriety wagon at 8 months.

The good news is that off of the sauce, the good days will eventually outweigh the bad ones and you will come to realize that the bad days are only temporary. Just tell yourself “this too shall pass.”
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Old 11-29-2015, 09:33 AM
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I haven't eaten for 24 hours. .. I can't even stand the idea... but I need to, right??? Shame doesn't go with hunger... but yet it seems.to well....
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Old 11-29-2015, 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
I haven't eaten for 24 hours. .. I can't even stand the idea... but I need to, right??? Shame doesn't go with hunger... but yet it seems.to well....
Yes, you should eat. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself. 1st order of business, get well physically so you can think more clearly. Drink lots of fluids and eat.
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