Class of November 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
Hi all, good to see so many people have joined the class 
I was off the wagon for about a week I guess...Just shows how quickly everything deteoriates. Even do I did not drink as much as I typically would have. I felt I "managed".
However...completely stopped going to the gym, bought a lot of food that is now rotting in the fridge...because while on a binge I don't really eat, at all. I force myself to drink milk once in a while and feel "well that's healthly".
No wonder one becomes undernorished of this thing.
Cleaning up the mess in my apartment. Rebuilding again.
I was off the wagon for about a week I guess...Just shows how quickly everything deteoriates. Even do I did not drink as much as I typically would have. I felt I "managed".
However...completely stopped going to the gym, bought a lot of food that is now rotting in the fridge...because while on a binge I don't really eat, at all. I force myself to drink milk once in a while and feel "well that's healthly".
No wonder one becomes undernorished of this thing.
Cleaning up the mess in my apartment. Rebuilding again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Shut up av!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi,
I just wanted to log in real quick and say I am having one of those days too! I stayed up WAY too late last night and then couldn't catch up on my sleep this morning so I am exhausted and have SO much crap to do!
It's cold and gloomy here, the kids are at school, my husband is at work and its just me and the cat and dog here. Lonely! This is one of the reasons I am definitely going to an AA meeting tomorrow. I need to SEE other earthlings! haha.
Anyway, I wont have a chance to read through the rest of the SR posts until later today, but I needed to log in immedately to tell on my AV! It is whispering!!! It is saying "Hey! Kiki! No one is home! Wouldn't it be MUCH more fun to do all the crap you have to do with a few drinks? Who would know? Come on KiKi. You know you would like it. It would make you feel so GOOOOOD!
"SHUT UP AV! (I am literally banging on my keyboard as I type this...haha) Alcohol is EVIL and it wants to kill me! It has caused me so much pain and misery these last 2 years! It jeopardized my health, caused me to gain weight, caused me to feel suicidal at times, caused me to hurt my kids and husband, made me miss important events, caused so much anxiety, depression, hopelessness, doom and gloom. Caused me to spend so much money for nothing. Caused me to pass out, vomit, be hungover etc. and SO many other terrible things. It was NEVER fun so SHUT UP AND STOP LYING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!"
Ok....I feel a little better now. I am gonna eat a HUGE lunch now, do some deep breathing, call my sponsor and you know what? If I don't get all the stuff on my list done today....OH WELL! The only thing that is really important is staying sober!
TAKE THAT YOU EVIL ADDICTIVE VOICE! Bang Bang Bang!
I just wanted to log in real quick and say I am having one of those days too! I stayed up WAY too late last night and then couldn't catch up on my sleep this morning so I am exhausted and have SO much crap to do!
It's cold and gloomy here, the kids are at school, my husband is at work and its just me and the cat and dog here. Lonely! This is one of the reasons I am definitely going to an AA meeting tomorrow. I need to SEE other earthlings! haha.
Anyway, I wont have a chance to read through the rest of the SR posts until later today, but I needed to log in immedately to tell on my AV! It is whispering!!! It is saying "Hey! Kiki! No one is home! Wouldn't it be MUCH more fun to do all the crap you have to do with a few drinks? Who would know? Come on KiKi. You know you would like it. It would make you feel so GOOOOOD!
"SHUT UP AV! (I am literally banging on my keyboard as I type this...haha) Alcohol is EVIL and it wants to kill me! It has caused me so much pain and misery these last 2 years! It jeopardized my health, caused me to gain weight, caused me to feel suicidal at times, caused me to hurt my kids and husband, made me miss important events, caused so much anxiety, depression, hopelessness, doom and gloom. Caused me to spend so much money for nothing. Caused me to pass out, vomit, be hungover etc. and SO many other terrible things. It was NEVER fun so SHUT UP AND STOP LYING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!"
Ok....I feel a little better now. I am gonna eat a HUGE lunch now, do some deep breathing, call my sponsor and you know what? If I don't get all the stuff on my list done today....OH WELL! The only thing that is really important is staying sober!
TAKE THAT YOU EVIL ADDICTIVE VOICE! Bang Bang Bang!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 134
Just typed a long post and then forgot to log in, so off into the ether it went. But I'm on a roll so here is Take Two . . .
I just got some bad financial news. A month ago I'd have gotten a couple of bottles of Jim Beam and started in, slowly pickling myself until I fell asleep at night. That was "dealing with it." Would have keep working even because I'm "functional" that way - y'know?
But I didn't.
I don't know what happened a couple of weeks ago. My subconscious just told my conscious ENOUGH. I guess it had enough of blackouts and day-drinking and empty bottles and liver tests starting to go sideways at the doctor's - and all that, you know.
But things changed. I had the impulse to walk to the liquor store. It's just three blocks away. But the impulse passed. It went back inside somewhere. It's still there but no more dangerous - right now at least - then any number of other impulses that we have and don't act on.
This weekend when I drove by a bar it was like driving by a place that sells cigarettes (I don't smoke) - pretty pictures but not really relevant to me.
Wow. Who is this new person? I can't see this going anywhere but good places. I'm just as surprised as the next guy.
I just got some bad financial news. A month ago I'd have gotten a couple of bottles of Jim Beam and started in, slowly pickling myself until I fell asleep at night. That was "dealing with it." Would have keep working even because I'm "functional" that way - y'know?
But I didn't.
I don't know what happened a couple of weeks ago. My subconscious just told my conscious ENOUGH. I guess it had enough of blackouts and day-drinking and empty bottles and liver tests starting to go sideways at the doctor's - and all that, you know.
But things changed. I had the impulse to walk to the liquor store. It's just three blocks away. But the impulse passed. It went back inside somewhere. It's still there but no more dangerous - right now at least - then any number of other impulses that we have and don't act on.
This weekend when I drove by a bar it was like driving by a place that sells cigarettes (I don't smoke) - pretty pictures but not really relevant to me.
Wow. Who is this new person? I can't see this going anywhere but good places. I'm just as surprised as the next guy.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 12
Checking in, again:
Day 17, I have arrived. My back to back exams are over and though I am so nervous to see the final grades, I have Thanksgiving giving me the rest of the week for some classic R&R.
In the meantime... Today is a little harder to get through than yesterday was, but I took a nice walk through a local historical site and the sunshine helped clear the clouds in my head! Constantly reminding myself not to turn to alcohol to comfort the stress. The exams are turned in and it's time to prepare for finals. Spending no time drinking makes tons of extra time for studying!
Perspective, for me, is a massive portion of recovery. Today is all about finding positives within the negatives. At least, tomorrow, I can sleep until eight!
Working double time this week because we have fired a few people.... I think when I get the paycheck I'll buy myself some new bedding. Nothing like a refreshing redecoration to help open the doors to a new lifestyle.
Day 17, I have arrived. My back to back exams are over and though I am so nervous to see the final grades, I have Thanksgiving giving me the rest of the week for some classic R&R.
In the meantime... Today is a little harder to get through than yesterday was, but I took a nice walk through a local historical site and the sunshine helped clear the clouds in my head! Constantly reminding myself not to turn to alcohol to comfort the stress. The exams are turned in and it's time to prepare for finals. Spending no time drinking makes tons of extra time for studying!
Perspective, for me, is a massive portion of recovery. Today is all about finding positives within the negatives. At least, tomorrow, I can sleep until eight!
Working double time this week because we have fired a few people.... I think when I get the paycheck I'll buy myself some new bedding. Nothing like a refreshing redecoration to help open the doors to a new lifestyle.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 12
Oh, by the way, I had a dream about drinking last night - I drank one entire cocktail and realized I was no longer the me I chose. I was so utterly disappointed with myself that when I awoke I almost felt like I had a hangover?
One more reminder to stay strong.
One more reminder to stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 114
Hope everyone's week has started ok. Glad to see most of you are doing so well. Welcome to newcomers!
Day 24. It looks like I'm finally starting to feel more at peace and my emotions are starting to settle down. Just hope I can find the strength to carry on.
Day 24. It looks like I'm finally starting to feel more at peace and my emotions are starting to settle down. Just hope I can find the strength to carry on.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Morning crew,
Checking in from the Tuesday morning that's over your horizon. It's a grey quiet morning here.....I seem to be starting to sleep through the nights now, taken a while to get here.
This is getting to be a really large group, which will be great when we go to the daily thread to continue next month.
Kiki...thanks for the updates, sorry you've been having a rough day with the AV but you don't need any of us to tell you that your gonna pull through...you know it yourself now. You are doing great. Patricia.....its just a grey day, they come, they go.....you can keep going through it.
A lot of posts, new people......days accumulating. This is a great class to be in. Wish I had time to write more.....but I got this day job I have to go to.
Will check back tonite.
All the best everybody
Checking in from the Tuesday morning that's over your horizon. It's a grey quiet morning here.....I seem to be starting to sleep through the nights now, taken a while to get here.
This is getting to be a really large group, which will be great when we go to the daily thread to continue next month.
Kiki...thanks for the updates, sorry you've been having a rough day with the AV but you don't need any of us to tell you that your gonna pull through...you know it yourself now. You are doing great. Patricia.....its just a grey day, they come, they go.....you can keep going through it.
A lot of posts, new people......days accumulating. This is a great class to be in. Wish I had time to write more.....but I got this day job I have to go to.
Will check back tonite.All the best everybody
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
So, I went on facebook and saw this memory you know, like "this was exactly three years ago today". I was crushed. I remember that time, how good I looked and how everything was feeling possible.
Then due to certain events my life took a turn for the bad and drinking really got out of control. This has been three completly chaotic and insane years. If I don't dare to think where I could be three years down the road if I don't stop. Might not even be around.
If anything I've leard in a quick study in this game - I really have an quite an astonishing ability to sink like a stone in no time...
I am not a fan of fb, but I guess it was good with a reminder of why I am sitting here today. Full with anxiety and struggling to just make one day at a time.
Well I am sober today, and I am proud over all of you fighters!
Then due to certain events my life took a turn for the bad and drinking really got out of control. This has been three completly chaotic and insane years. If I don't dare to think where I could be three years down the road if I don't stop. Might not even be around.
If anything I've leard in a quick study in this game - I really have an quite an astonishing ability to sink like a stone in no time...
I am not a fan of fb, but I guess it was good with a reminder of why I am sitting here today. Full with anxiety and struggling to just make one day at a time.
Well I am sober today, and I am proud over all of you fighters!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 365
Checkin in, on a hectic Monday evening.
Life doesn't give ya much reprieve sober or messed haha
Thing is, I definitly wouldn't be handling any of it well
And to my credit , I think I'm doin ok juggling
Welcome new members, this place can be everything you make it and a great source of focus and support!
Feelin for those who are having a hard day of it.
You'll be so glad you stayed the course
Be well
Life doesn't give ya much reprieve sober or messed haha
Thing is, I definitly wouldn't be handling any of it well
And to my credit , I think I'm doin ok juggling
Welcome new members, this place can be everything you make it and a great source of focus and support!
Feelin for those who are having a hard day of it.
You'll be so glad you stayed the course
Be well
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by Dallow 
So, I went on facebook and saw this memory you know, like "this was exactly three years ago today". I was crushed. I remember that time, how good I looked and how everything was feeling possible.
Then due to certain events my life took a turn for the bad and drinking really got out of control. This has been three completly chaotic and insane years. If I don't dare to think where I could be three years down the road if I don't stop. Might not even be around.
If anything I've leard in a quick study in this game - I really have an quite an astonishing ability to sink like a stone in no time...
I am not a fan of fb, but I guess it was good with a reminder of why I am sitting here today. Full with anxiety and struggling to just make one day at a time.
Well I am sober today, and I am proud over all of you fighters!
Then due to certain events my life took a turn for the bad and drinking really got out of control. This has been three completly chaotic and insane years. If I don't dare to think where I could be three years down the road if I don't stop. Might not even be around.
If anything I've leard in a quick study in this game - I really have an quite an astonishing ability to sink like a stone in no time...
I am not a fan of fb, but I guess it was good with a reminder of why I am sitting here today. Full with anxiety and struggling to just make one day at a time.
Well I am sober today, and I am proud over all of you fighters!
Kiki- kick that AV butt! You got this! I know you do!
Canguy-glad things are going well.
Patricia- You feeling any better?
Welcome to all the new faces! I'm glad you got your exams all done so now it's time to stop and enjoy the holidays! SOBER.
I just bought some OJ for my Mockmosa while cooking TD dinner!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by badger257
Well today is day 9. But I woke up this morning with my hands really shaky again. It had pretty much dissipated by day 4. Now is back? Anyone else have this?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by learntofly
I finally made it to Day 30! Never thought I could do it. Before this, I don't think I had even gone a week without drinking since I started. I'm excited to see where this journey leads me. Grateful that you're all so supportive of me and of each other! =)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
Hey everyone- afternoon check in for me.
So much activity here- loving it. I read each and every post in this class and I support every one of you- the day 1'ers to the day 60'ers and beyond, the ones having weak day today and the ones have a strong day. All we can do is focus on not drinking today. It helps me so much to read everyone's check ins and how they're battling the day.
So glad I have this group because I don't think I would ever be able to get myself to go a face to face AA group. Not that there is anything wrong with it- More power to those who do! Just not for me as of now.
Anyways- I hope everyone is doing ok and shutting down that AV. I don't have any trouble during the day- it's more evenings and night for me. So my day is ok. I got super drowsy after my lunch and got a head ache- realized i hadn't been drinking any water today. Drank 2 glasses and feeling better.
Trying to keep busy. Learned some new things with my dog today in a training session so I can work on those things again with her tonight to keep me busy.
Someone on here said something about being and staying sober for yourself more than anything. True.. This is the best thing I can do for myself- being sober gives me the potential for so much more. After all, can't get anywhere when you're blacking out.
Grateful to be sober on my 9th day today.
So much activity here- loving it. I read each and every post in this class and I support every one of you- the day 1'ers to the day 60'ers and beyond, the ones having weak day today and the ones have a strong day. All we can do is focus on not drinking today. It helps me so much to read everyone's check ins and how they're battling the day.
So glad I have this group because I don't think I would ever be able to get myself to go a face to face AA group. Not that there is anything wrong with it- More power to those who do! Just not for me as of now.
Anyways- I hope everyone is doing ok and shutting down that AV. I don't have any trouble during the day- it's more evenings and night for me. So my day is ok. I got super drowsy after my lunch and got a head ache- realized i hadn't been drinking any water today. Drank 2 glasses and feeling better.
Trying to keep busy. Learned some new things with my dog today in a training session so I can work on those things again with her tonight to keep me busy.
Someone on here said something about being and staying sober for yourself more than anything. True.. This is the best thing I can do for myself- being sober gives me the potential for so much more. After all, can't get anywhere when you're blacking out.
Grateful to be sober on my 9th day today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
Welcome to all the new faces! I'm glad you got your exams all done so now it's time to stop and enjoy the holidays! SOBER.
I just bought some OJ for my Mockmosa while cooking TD dinner!
I just bought some OJ for my Mockmosa while cooking TD dinner!
I just double checked I have all my ingredients for thanksgiving dinner- still feel like I'm forgetting something..
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Welcome faithfulandfree
welcome to you too Choicy - I had traumatic experiences from my childhood ytoo - different to yours but no less traumatic. Counselling really helped me.
Have you explored that option at all? (not interrogating you at all, just wondered)
In any case everyone here in this thread is lovely, understanding and not confrontational. I hope you'll decide to join us
D
welcome to you too Choicy - I had traumatic experiences from my childhood ytoo - different to yours but no less traumatic. Counselling really helped me.
Have you explored that option at all? (not interrogating you at all, just wondered
)In any case everyone here in this thread is lovely, understanding and not confrontational. I hope you'll decide to join us
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
Officially going into day 2 now as I go to bed....
I've got a new rose I've got it good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZu8aDWhM9Y
I've got a new rose I've got it good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZu8aDWhM9Y
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