Class of July 2013 Part 25
Well guys, I've been slightly concerned on my (half) sisters drinking for a little while, (our other sister is a full blown alcoholic/rehab many times). But this one has got a fiancé, relatively ok life (minus her Mum now)....but yeah, there's been episodes (none I've seen), where she's said silly things out socialising, and a spate of family gatherings she was really hungover (physically sick) at.
Anyways, we went out last night for dinner, she relayed at seperate times that she's drunk too much at some work functions, and has been reminded gently by her boss she's representing the company at them, etc. etc.
Sooooo, I'm guessing there are some warning signs. I see her at the point I was at when my ex was gently trying to suggest I might be drinking too much (I do know her partner has spoken to her about drinking too much at parties sometimes). This has potentially been exacerbated by her Mum passing away also, the whole, "hey my Mum just died, I'm allowed to have a drink about it", attitude.
Here's the clincher. She's now told me she wants to leave her fiancé and is attracted to someone else. She's not sure the someone else is long-term, but feels her relationship is over with her fiancé. This came out after some drinking last night at dinner.
I feel she's about to do what I did. I did caution her, that I regretted leaving my ex. The real topic that needs discussing is perhaps her drinking, but I didn't want to touch on it while she was actually emotional and a bit drunk.
She kept pushing me to suggest what she should do, leave or stay, and of course I said that is her decision and suggested counselling etc, etc.
But guys....it's probably the drinking, yes? That's the root cause? I don't think I'm projecting, but my kids have told me of a few episodes where she's out and drinks a little too much too.
Thoughts?
Anyways, we went out last night for dinner, she relayed at seperate times that she's drunk too much at some work functions, and has been reminded gently by her boss she's representing the company at them, etc. etc.
Sooooo, I'm guessing there are some warning signs. I see her at the point I was at when my ex was gently trying to suggest I might be drinking too much (I do know her partner has spoken to her about drinking too much at parties sometimes). This has potentially been exacerbated by her Mum passing away also, the whole, "hey my Mum just died, I'm allowed to have a drink about it", attitude.
Here's the clincher. She's now told me she wants to leave her fiancé and is attracted to someone else. She's not sure the someone else is long-term, but feels her relationship is over with her fiancé. This came out after some drinking last night at dinner.
I feel she's about to do what I did. I did caution her, that I regretted leaving my ex. The real topic that needs discussing is perhaps her drinking, but I didn't want to touch on it while she was actually emotional and a bit drunk.
She kept pushing me to suggest what she should do, leave or stay, and of course I said that is her decision and suggested counselling etc, etc.
But guys....it's probably the drinking, yes? That's the root cause? I don't think I'm projecting, but my kids have told me of a few episodes where she's out and drinks a little too much too.
Thoughts?
She kept pushing me to suggest what she should do, leave or stay, and of course I said that is her decision and suggested counselling etc, etc.
But guys....it's probably the drinking, yes? That's the root cause? I don't think I'm projecting, but my kids have told me of a few episodes where she's out and drinks a little too much too.
Thoughts?
It's not fair of her to ask what she should do.
Perhaps her question would be best answered by sober thought, than just taking a poll of what others think.
Some of the biggest mistakes in life are made by actions done while under the influence.
In the end, whatever decision she makes, she'll have to live with.
And anytime alcohol is involved, that equals a very slippery slope.
Hey everybody, happy Sat here in the U.S.
I'm watching a marathon of Rocky movies as it's raining outside right now.
Suppose to clear up later.
I hope to take the pup for a walk later on.
Think I'll go make a turkey sandwich.
I'm watching a marathon of Rocky movies as it's raining outside right now.
Suppose to clear up later.
I hope to take the pup for a walk later on.
Think I'll go make a turkey sandwich.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Thanks letitgo...no, not generic at all! Thank you. That's kind of what I said to her, every big decision is hard like that, and you are always going to think "what if" you'd made the other choice. Not as a regret, necessarily, but life-changing choices always involve a "what if".
I also said relationships are hard, they have peaks and troughs.
Bob...oh yeah, I'm hearing you. I think because she had had a few drinks she didn't realise she was on repeat with the, "what should I do". I was pretty blunt at times (gently) and said it sounded like she'd already made up her mind. Which I do believe. I haven't really spent a lot of time with her partner because I've been away, so even if my opinion did matter, I don't have one in that regard. And I'd never flat out tell someone to leave a serious relationship, it's simply not my place - unless there was abuse of course.
Thanks so much guys. I think I will try and grab her after work this week and see if I can gently broach her drinking with her and the impact it may be having on her choices.
I also said relationships are hard, they have peaks and troughs.
Bob...oh yeah, I'm hearing you. I think because she had had a few drinks she didn't realise she was on repeat with the, "what should I do". I was pretty blunt at times (gently) and said it sounded like she'd already made up her mind. Which I do believe. I haven't really spent a lot of time with her partner because I've been away, so even if my opinion did matter, I don't have one in that regard. And I'd never flat out tell someone to leave a serious relationship, it's simply not my place - unless there was abuse of course.
Thanks so much guys. I think I will try and grab her after work this week and see if I can gently broach her drinking with her and the impact it may be having on her choices.
Croiss
& good morning to the Australian contingent of the Julyers
Bob I loved all the rocky films esp the sixth have you heard about the spin off 'Creed' ? here's the trailer I can't wait for this expected very soon
https://youtu.be/Uv554B7YHk4
& good morning to the Australian contingent of the Julyers
Bob I loved all the rocky films esp the sixth have you heard about the spin off 'Creed' ? here's the trailer I can't wait for this expected very soon
https://youtu.be/Uv554B7YHk4
Bob...oh yeah, I'm hearing you. I think because she had had a few drinks she didn't realise she was on repeat with the, "what should I do". I was pretty blunt at times (gently) and said it sounded like she'd already made up her mind. Which I do believe. I haven't really spent a lot of time with her partner because I've been away, so even if my opinion did matter, I don't have one in that regard. And I'd never flat out tell someone to leave a serious relationship, it's simply not my place - unless there was abuse of course.
Thanks so much guys. I think I will try and grab her after work this week and see if I can gently broach her drinking with her and the impact it may be having on her choices.
Thanks so much guys. I think I will try and grab her after work this week and see if I can gently broach her drinking with her and the impact it may be having on her choices.
As you can see happening with your sister. I can see people in my life that still partake in drinking having issues they blame on everything else....but that darn drink.
I was amazed at how I drank because of so many worries and disappointments, only to find out that the drinking created a BIGGER allusion of my problems.
Glad you trust us enough to give you advice, Crois.
All of you are like brothers and sisters to me.
Croiss
& good morning to the Australian contingent of the Julyers
Bob I loved all the rocky films esp the sixth have you heard about the spin off 'Creed' ? here's the trailer I can't wait for this expected very soon
https://youtu.be/Uv554B7YHk4
& good morning to the Australian contingent of the Julyers
Bob I loved all the rocky films esp the sixth have you heard about the spin off 'Creed' ? here's the trailer I can't wait for this expected very soon
https://youtu.be/Uv554B7YHk4
The gritty streets of Philly and the story of the underdog.
Even Pauly and his alcoholism. Adrian being so shy.
There's a lot to the movies.
I have heard that Creed is very good.Looks good.
How true is that the toughest opponent you'll ever face is the person in the mirror?
Hi Bob
I love rocky films I think the first boxing film I ever saw was 'The Champ' with Jon Voight I loved that movie I bet that could still bring a tear to my eye
Creed looks good its already released in the US & UK I think the 25th I havnt seen no adverts though
And tonight Tyson Fury caused a massive upset against Vladimir klitchko I didn't see it but it sent shockwaves across the boxing world there will be a rematch for sure
I love rocky films I think the first boxing film I ever saw was 'The Champ' with Jon Voight I loved that movie I bet that could still bring a tear to my eye
Creed looks good its already released in the US & UK I think the 25th I havnt seen no adverts though
And tonight Tyson Fury caused a massive upset against Vladimir klitchko I didn't see it but it sent shockwaves across the boxing world there will be a rematch for sure
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)