KeyofC

(((Patricia))) good girl! We are all struggling. We are all here for each other. Keep the train in the tracks, you're doing great!

patricia68

I'm watching Youtube. A little bit of relaxing music, some funny cat videos, whatever to keep my mind off the yucky thoughts.

julesonya

Checking in as well. I'm sure you cAn guess I failed this week. I could come up with lots of excused but they are all the same as before. Tonight I am 38 hours sober. Woo me! I want to make it through tomorrow. And Monday and Tuesday and the next. I want it so badly.

walktheline1

I'm going to join this class if you all don't mind. I was in the October class but my sobriety got derailed after about a week sober. I started drinking lightly, and then heavily, and then added pain pills back into the mix. I'm at a point where drinking and pills doesn't even make me feel good anymore. It has to stop!

I look forward to reading back through all of your stories and getting sober with you guys!

KiKi0615

I want it too Jules! And welcome WalkTheLine!

walktheline1

I'm having a very hard time right now. I've been on a 2 or 3 week oxycodone binge (along with drinking...) and know that it was enough that I am going to go back into full withdraws. Being Saturday evening, this means I will be too sick to go to work on Monday or Tuesday. I have all of next week off though, so I am tempted to delay my sobriety till then. I hate to do this for another week though. Hating myself right now...

patricia68

It's 9pm. I'm scared of going to bed and wake up with panic attacks again...that sounds crazy I know, I'm scared of the panic

I had more camomile tea, I hope it helps. I really need a good night of sleep, I look like a zombie...

Gifford

I made it through day 8, but I need to work hard today. Plan is to go for a long bike ride and Skype family tonight. If I stay sober i should be fit as well. All the things that I wanted to do but couldn't I can now do.

Welcome to all newcomers, I recognise myself in many of your stories. Let's all remain strong together.

Have a good and sober day
G

walktheline1

It's not crazy at all. I cut way back on my drinking and woke up multiple times last night in a state of panic. It's happened to me before and it gets better the longer I'm sober.

I try to keep something close to me to "ground me" when I wake up in a panic. The best thing is my girl friend; when I wake up in a panic, just touching her helps me. Second best thing I've found to calm me down is petting the dog. Anyways, you may want to find something to soothe you or "ground you" and bring you out of that panic attack.

canguy

Hang in there everybody...

Having a bit of A Moment myself right now. All the triggers are snappin off everywhere.....

Its Sunday afternoon, we've finished the day's work and my collaborator has left. On my own again for the first time in a couple of days. Tired...but have made some progress on our project. It'd be down to the bottle shop for a six pack....a leisurely clean up in the workshop, enjoy the end of the weekend getting quietly relaxed / trashed, sun streaming in and the bottled well-being slowly sinking in.

But I want tomorrow more than I want to get trashed tonite....another 40 minutes and its 6pm and I'm out of the danger zone....I'm eating chocolate while typing this.

Gonna do it. See what's on the tv tonite....decide what to cook, get in the washing, finish the housework.....anything but pick up.

I'll be back in half an hour......

canguy

6

Made it.

Holed up on the sofa.....found something on TV....ate chocolate

tufty13

Good work canguy. :-)

What chocolate? Tell me just to make me jealous.

Soberwolf

Have a good sober Sunday guys

canguy

Lindt 85%.

The hard stuff........

Dallow

My plan didn't work. I couldn't make it through the weekend.

It is not an excuse but here's why it happened: I have lived in Paris several years and have many friends, exes and colleagues there. I was in complete chock.

I don't live in Paris at the moment but there were people I needed to get in touch with and people from my past called me and were worried. Some of the shootings happened in my old neighbourhood. I used to go out there with my friends and what I then considered to be the "love of my life". Maybe I still do. I didn't know if any of them was ok.

Some of the friends who contacted me I have cut off during my years drinking, and now I had to face to talk to them and explain myself. Some thought I was living in Paris. I felt crushed over the incident and ashamed how I treated my old friends. I bought beers. I drank them.

My friends are safe, as far as I know by now.

Maybe I used it as an excuse, I don't know. But I am quite sure I would have made it through without this tragedy. Just goes to show how I react in stressed situations.

I was so proud it was going to be day 20 on monday, but it isn't. I'm starting over.

Hope the rest of you were stronger this weekend!

Dee74

Hi Dallow

It must have been a very frightening day for you. I'm sorry and I hope all your friends and acquaintances are safe and well.

That being said...your AV makes a good sales pitch but I'm not buying it and neither should you

I don't know if I said it in this thread or not but I got drunk when 9/11 hit.

I really regret that now because looking back I know how much more capable I am sober - and I know I could have done so much more to help people out or comfort people.

Instead I spent the day (in fact the week) wallowing in self pity and self indulgence.

If anyone had asked me for help or support I would have been utterly incapable of giving them that.

I really believe there is no reason good enough for people like you and me to drink again, Dallow

But the important thing is - you're back - dust yourself off, learn from this, and you'll emerge better and stronger with a reinforced recovery plan

D

Dallow

Thank you, Dee.

Your experience of 9/11 resonated with me. And what you said is true - I gave in to the AV when I shouldn't have, and if I had gotten bad news I wouldn't have been able to give anyone support.

Maybe I was too sure of myself, I was confident I would make the weekend - I had it all planned. Then this happened and I caved in.

You're right. I must find a way to handle unexpected events. I must be strong enough to get through things that I haven't planned for.

I see now that you wrote that terrorist attacks are a good reminder we shouldn't waste our life getting wasted! It's true. I mean even if I can see everthing in le Carillon in front of me...the cat who lived in the bar , the regulars. It's not a celebration of life to wallow in self-pity.

Thank you and all of SR for being there! I slipped but I didn't give up. I have to reinforce my plan.

Dee74

You can do this Darrow

D

KeyofC

Hang in there everyone. Dare to do something different. You have to change the way things were to be who you are without alcohol. You can't live the old life trying to be a new you. Read my blog. It all begins and ends with you.
Have a good sober Sunday! I'm heading to church in a bit!

julesonya

Small victories but today will be a challenge. I'm at 50 hours of not having a drop of alcohol. My stomach is finally not so bloated but still having some pains. I have been taking ambien to sleep but my therapist says the ambien is better than alcohol. I really want to make it through today. I head back to a training course out of town tonight, so hotel for the week, and no one to make me be responsible except me. Any suggestions on what I can do? I plan to exercise, take a bath. Maybe I can do some of the exercises/paperwork from some of the literature?