Class of November 2015 Part 2
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Morning all well I guess it's Friday again. The merry go round goes again. It's 14 days today and as normal I have my long shift at work today. Past couple of evenings after work I've been enjoying a cup of chai tea let's see if that helps tonight.
Have been reading all the posts since posted last and u all have been doing so well even when going through bad crap xx. Keep going! U all are amazing.
My thoughts on dealing with the next 3 days is brain washing myself in not thinking it's the weekend and just saying it's another day like any other and to keep sober.
So hope u all have an ok day hugs to all xx
Have been reading all the posts since posted last and u all have been doing so well even when going through bad crap xx. Keep going! U all are amazing.
My thoughts on dealing with the next 3 days is brain washing myself in not thinking it's the weekend and just saying it's another day like any other and to keep sober.
So hope u all have an ok day hugs to all xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Erratic 
Morning all well I guess it's Friday again. The merry go round goes again. It's 14 days today and as normal I have my long shift at work today.
Hey, if you're feeling worried about drinking on the weekends.. I've found alternative activities help... Groupon always has interesting things to do relatively cheap..., or I personally enjoy a seven mile flat trail that is nearby, and my dog loves that one too
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Good Friday morning all.
Eh the weekend. But I truly believe that God works in mysterious ways. My injuring myself and needing surgery will be a huge reason to help keep me sober this weekend though I will be honest, the thought of dinner out with a nice glass or 6 of wine crossed my mind already. It can't happen.
As,usual racing off to work but wanted to check in for accountability and to quickly read, wishing everyone a sober day! Will check in when I an.
Eh the weekend. But I truly believe that God works in mysterious ways. My injuring myself and needing surgery will be a huge reason to help keep me sober this weekend though I will be honest, the thought of dinner out with a nice glass or 6 of wine crossed my mind already. It can't happen.
As,usual racing off to work but wanted to check in for accountability and to quickly read, wishing everyone a sober day! Will check in when I an.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 262
Friday and the weekend. Have plans to keep myself busy and a great friend who's committed to doing things with me that don't involve alcohol. I'm very grateful for her. Cold night sweats and nightmares again. Yuck. Headed to salt cave on Sunday to detox some more. Hope everyone is having a great day. Thanks for the support
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Hello, joining in...
I am an alcoholic.
I cannot drink normally, I can never drink normally, it is not because of lack of will power or lack of self control, it is because I am an alcoholic.
I just read Beeraholic's post with the link to the Beyond the Influence book and it's sunk in. I do not process alcohol normally and I never will. I will always react badly to it.
I have still been logging on here and reading posts every day but I have been drinking every day too.
Timeline;
25 years ago I started drinking to get drunk.
No periods of sobriety longer than 1 month apart from 2 sober pregnancies.
7th September this year did a home and dry detox and managed to stop drinking for 47 days.
Then I started again...
24th October I told myself I deserved it, why should I be the one to miss out? I just need to control it better, just drink on Saturdays, just buy one bottle of wine at a time.
Now today 20th November I realise I have drunk 19 of the last 27 days since I threw away my sobriety. And I have drunk the last 9 days solidly. I have been buying boxes of 6 bottles of wine at a time and keeping them in the boot of my car. I have been smuggling them in to the house one at a time and then sneaking the empty bottles back out again so my husband doesn't see how many are in the recycling. I know I've been sucked back in again.
I feel sick. I feel disappointed. I feel stupid. I feel like crying.
But I don't feel embarrased or ashamed.
I've made an appointment with my counsellor for Monday 9.30am.
I've just poured out what I had hidden in my bag.
When I leave work I will get rid of whatever is left in my car. In fact I won't wait until I finish work.
(Update)
I just decided to go and ditch the wine while I had the motivation to do so! I had 4 unopened bottles in the boot of my car, I was trying to work out what to do with them, it pained me to bin them so I thought I'd just give them away. Up at the carpark there was a man walking near my car so I called him over and asked if he drank wine? He said "me no English, me Polish!" I showed him the bottles of wine and he smiled "How much?" I said nothing, have them, I cannot drink them. He was thrilled "thank you, thank you!" Now obviously I hope he is not an alcoholic that I have just given 4 bottles of wine to as that would be a bad thing. But it made me laugh, crazy!
So then I went to the shop, bought a sandwich and as I'm queuing up I think to myself, I've really done the right thing, I'm going to buy a scratchcard (lotto). They had 16 different varieties in the box. I said "Can I have one of each please?" I figured if I'm going to save money not drinking I'm going to have some fun and I also wanted to do something to mark today as an important day. The lady called out to her colleague "Can you come and serve here, I've got a customer that's gone crazy!" It came to £51.
I feel liberated, I feel free. Wish me luck (on the sobriety not the scratchcards!)
Onwards....
I am an alcoholic.
I cannot drink normally, I can never drink normally, it is not because of lack of will power or lack of self control, it is because I am an alcoholic.
I just read Beeraholic's post with the link to the Beyond the Influence book and it's sunk in. I do not process alcohol normally and I never will. I will always react badly to it.
I have still been logging on here and reading posts every day but I have been drinking every day too.
Timeline;
25 years ago I started drinking to get drunk.
No periods of sobriety longer than 1 month apart from 2 sober pregnancies.
7th September this year did a home and dry detox and managed to stop drinking for 47 days.
Then I started again...
24th October I told myself I deserved it, why should I be the one to miss out? I just need to control it better, just drink on Saturdays, just buy one bottle of wine at a time.
Now today 20th November I realise I have drunk 19 of the last 27 days since I threw away my sobriety. And I have drunk the last 9 days solidly. I have been buying boxes of 6 bottles of wine at a time and keeping them in the boot of my car. I have been smuggling them in to the house one at a time and then sneaking the empty bottles back out again so my husband doesn't see how many are in the recycling. I know I've been sucked back in again.
I feel sick. I feel disappointed. I feel stupid. I feel like crying.
But I don't feel embarrased or ashamed.
I've made an appointment with my counsellor for Monday 9.30am.
I've just poured out what I had hidden in my bag.
When I leave work I will get rid of whatever is left in my car. In fact I won't wait until I finish work.
(Update)
I just decided to go and ditch the wine while I had the motivation to do so! I had 4 unopened bottles in the boot of my car, I was trying to work out what to do with them, it pained me to bin them so I thought I'd just give them away. Up at the carpark there was a man walking near my car so I called him over and asked if he drank wine? He said "me no English, me Polish!" I showed him the bottles of wine and he smiled "How much?" I said nothing, have them, I cannot drink them. He was thrilled "thank you, thank you!" Now obviously I hope he is not an alcoholic that I have just given 4 bottles of wine to as that would be a bad thing. But it made me laugh, crazy!
So then I went to the shop, bought a sandwich and as I'm queuing up I think to myself, I've really done the right thing, I'm going to buy a scratchcard (lotto). They had 16 different varieties in the box. I said "Can I have one of each please?" I figured if I'm going to save money not drinking I'm going to have some fun and I also wanted to do something to mark today as an important day. The lady called out to her colleague "Can you come and serve here, I've got a customer that's gone crazy!" It came to £51.
I feel liberated, I feel free. Wish me luck (on the sobriety not the scratchcards!)
Onwards....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 154
Well I managed to make it through last night to see Day 5. It was the toughest one so far. I wanted to run away from my own skin. I had a heck of a time falling asleep. At one point I got up to make some toast and my dear husband, who was being extra kind to me last night because he knew I was in a sh** mood, says sweetly "Are you hungry??". I wanted to reply "Oh no, I just thought I would make the dog some toast..." Of course I am hungry, people make food when they are hungry, I am making food! (In reality I just replied 'yes') So, yeah, total sh** mood last night. Still feeling kind of irritable this morning. But whatever....it's Day 5! I haven't seen a Day 5 in years.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Checking in too. Day 5. Still moving along and trying to do the next right thing.
Today will be a challenge for many reasons. I am listing the reasons below & then YELLING back at my AV (addictive voice).
First, it's Friday and my mind is trained to think you need a drink on Friday. NO YOU DON'T!!! FRIDAY IS JUST ANOTHER 24 PERIOD OF TIME.
Second, I made it through the entire week so I might feel like I can "reward" myself. DRINKING IS NOT A REWARD! ITS SELF-INFLICTED PUNISHMENT!
Third, my husband always goes out on Fridays and plays a sport and has a few beers with the guys, which is a trigger. HE IS NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! AV...STOP USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE!
Fourth, I haven't stayed sober through a weekend and two years. BUT I WILL THIS WEEKEND AV!
And last but not least, having things to do in the evening for my kids the last couple of nights has really helped me stay sober. However, tomorrow and Sunday I don't have anything I NEED to do so my addictive voice is saying "hey KiKi...you could get drunk and be hung over all day if you wanted to!" SHUTUP AV..I HAVE PLENTY TO DO...LIKE BE A SOBER MOM, WIFE & PERSON & SAVE MY LIFE!
Well here's what I have to stay to my addictive voice "SCREW YOU! I will not let you continue to try to kill me. I am not going back!"
If I drink it will be like agreeing to go back to hell. God please help me stay sober today for this next 24 hours; one day at a time.
If you read that, thanks for letting me get all of that out. I have such a FEAR of alcohol. It's trying to ruin my life but I won't let it!
Have a safe and sober weekend friends and I will check in later.
Praying for all of us!!!
Today will be a challenge for many reasons. I am listing the reasons below & then YELLING back at my AV (addictive voice).
First, it's Friday and my mind is trained to think you need a drink on Friday. NO YOU DON'T!!! FRIDAY IS JUST ANOTHER 24 PERIOD OF TIME.
Second, I made it through the entire week so I might feel like I can "reward" myself. DRINKING IS NOT A REWARD! ITS SELF-INFLICTED PUNISHMENT!
Third, my husband always goes out on Fridays and plays a sport and has a few beers with the guys, which is a trigger. HE IS NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! AV...STOP USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE!
Fourth, I haven't stayed sober through a weekend and two years. BUT I WILL THIS WEEKEND AV!
And last but not least, having things to do in the evening for my kids the last couple of nights has really helped me stay sober. However, tomorrow and Sunday I don't have anything I NEED to do so my addictive voice is saying "hey KiKi...you could get drunk and be hung over all day if you wanted to!" SHUTUP AV..I HAVE PLENTY TO DO...LIKE BE A SOBER MOM, WIFE & PERSON & SAVE MY LIFE!
Well here's what I have to stay to my addictive voice "SCREW YOU! I will not let you continue to try to kill me. I am not going back!"
If I drink it will be like agreeing to go back to hell. God please help me stay sober today for this next 24 hours; one day at a time.
If you read that, thanks for letting me get all of that out. I have such a FEAR of alcohol. It's trying to ruin my life but I won't let it!
Have a safe and sober weekend friends and I will check in later.
Praying for all of us!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by pams
Well I managed to make it through last night to see Day 5. It was the toughest one so far. I wanted to run away from my own skin. I had a heck of a time falling asleep. At one point I got up to make some toast and my dear husband, who was being extra kind to me last night because he knew I was in a sh** mood, says sweetly "Are you hungry??". I wanted to reply "Oh no, I just thought I would make the dog some toast..." Of course I am hungry, people make food when they are hungry, I am making food! (In reality I just replied 'yes') So, yeah, total sh** mood last night. Still feeling kind of irritable this morning. But whatever....it's Day 5! I haven't seen a Day 5 in years.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
I agree, counting days doesn't for for some people. It's not like we are ever gonna graduate, right? Haha. I'm glad you aren't gonna give up!!! You will make it!
It isn't, I know that. It's staying strong each day for all of us. For now I will keep posting but I think I will not focus on how many days I am, just if I slipped or if I am sober today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
Checking in too. I'm glad I joined this thread because it's good for me to read everyone else's "check ins".
Today is day 6. I slept well last night. I'm trying to make sure i am asleep by 10 every night. Last night it was more like 10:30, but, I tried. I get up at 7 everyday with my kids.
I'm not sure how tonight is going to go, not sure what I am going to do today. I'm going to try my best.
I'm trying to start each day with a glass of lemon water instead of coffee. Yesterday I felt like a zombie in the morning but today I feel okay. Can't wait to go on my walk with my dog alone when my husband gets back from his appt in an hour. That is a really good part of my day.
Today is day 6. I slept well last night. I'm trying to make sure i am asleep by 10 every night. Last night it was more like 10:30, but, I tried. I get up at 7 everyday with my kids.
I'm not sure how tonight is going to go, not sure what I am going to do today. I'm going to try my best.
I'm trying to start each day with a glass of lemon water instead of coffee. Yesterday I felt like a zombie in the morning but today I feel okay. Can't wait to go on my walk with my dog alone when my husband gets back from his appt in an hour. That is a really good part of my day.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Welcome, Foreverfuzzy This group has provided me lots of support and accountability and I hope it can do the same for you.
Glad to hear you slept well Patricia Things are getting better!
Kiki, I admire your strength and ability to recognize and shut down all the AV's thoughts. You have the power! You can do this.
Everyone else, I hope you are settling into your Friday/start of the weekend okay. My advice is to stay with someone who knows you are not drinking. It really helps to have that extra accountability when the AV pipes up. Keeping close to SR helps too
I will not drink alcohol today. I enjoyed waking up without a hangover. If I was, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the train ride to work with two of my coworkers. And I would be sitting at my desk with a foggy brain and upset stomach and headache. Blah!
Take care, All.
This group has provided me lots of support and accountability and I hope it can do the same for you.Glad to hear you slept well Patricia
Things are getting better! Kiki, I admire your strength and ability to recognize and shut down all the AV's thoughts. You have the power! You can do this.
Everyone else, I hope you are settling into your Friday/start of the weekend okay. My advice is to stay with someone who knows you are not drinking. It really helps to have that extra accountability when the AV pipes up. Keeping close to SR helps too
I will not drink alcohol today. I enjoyed waking up without a hangover. If I was, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the train ride to work with two of my coworkers. And I would be sitting at my desk with a foggy brain and upset stomach and headache. Blah!
Take care, All.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 134
I'll be darned. Here it is six days now. Nothing really fancy happened, although I've been in the gym a ton. My body just said "ENOUGH" to me. That'll work, I'll ride this horse as long as I can. Good luck everyone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Good Morning all!
Happy Friday! It's the start of day 12 here and the weekend has me worried a bit. My plan is to stay active. I checked out the link that Dee shared and I'm sure there are a few things that could fill up a few minutes of my sober day!
welcome forever fuzzy! Good luck with the lotto cards and to a good sober weekend!
Pams- I understand the irritability with the hubby. Mine is trying to be extra nice too, but yesterday he was in a crap mood too. Not a good combination, but I remained sober despite telling him I was going to be inside the bowling alley bar if he needed me.... Not a very nice move on my part. ( We took our son to a bowling event and hubby was sitting in the car to punish me. ).
One interesting thing happened after. We went to dinner and my son, who has been to making a family joke out of my drink order since he was about 7 ("chaaarrrrdonayyyy please" ) asked me why I keep ordering sparkling water! He must be noticing I'm not drinking and I like that!
Kiki-great job telling that AV where to go. Let's get through this weekend together!!!
Golden sands and tootsies dad- Rock on! You're doing amazing!
Dallow- no need to count if you feel better not doing it. Try to stay strong and you are a winner in this horrible battle!
Keepnitreal- stay strong and be grateful for the beautiful day and your chance to make it through your 12th day sober! Oh, and get busy doing some sober living!!!!
Happy Friday! It's the start of day 12 here and the weekend has me worried a bit. My plan is to stay active. I checked out the link that Dee shared and I'm sure there are a few things that could fill up a few minutes of my sober day!
welcome forever fuzzy! Good luck with the lotto cards and to a good sober weekend!
Pams- I understand the irritability with the hubby. Mine is trying to be extra nice too, but yesterday he was in a crap mood too. Not a good combination, but I remained sober despite telling him I was going to be inside the bowling alley bar if he needed me.... Not a very nice move on my part. ( We took our son to a bowling event and hubby was sitting in the car to punish me. ).
One interesting thing happened after. We went to dinner and my son, who has been to making a family joke out of my drink order since he was about 7 ("chaaarrrrdonayyyy please" ) asked me why I keep ordering sparkling water! He must be noticing I'm not drinking and I like that!
Kiki-great job telling that AV where to go. Let's get through this weekend together!!!
Golden sands and tootsies dad- Rock on! You're doing amazing!
Dallow- no need to count if you feel better not doing it. Try to stay strong and you are a winner in this horrible battle!
Keepnitreal- stay strong and be grateful for the beautiful day and your chance to make it through your 12th day sober! Oh, and get busy doing some sober living!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 154
Yes, Kiki, husbands can be weird. And Keepnitreal, I hope your hubby is in a better mood now.
This is by far a very distracting kind of day for me...I kind of feel like an airhead...I cant seem to hang onto one thought for more than a millisecond. I am at work and I have done this stuff a million times but it feels like it's my first time doing it...does that make sense?
Maybe I need a French Vanilla.....worth a shot I guess....
This is by far a very distracting kind of day for me...I kind of feel like an airhead...I cant seem to hang onto one thought for more than a millisecond. I am at work and I have done this stuff a million times but it feels like it's my first time doing it...does that make sense?
Maybe I need a French Vanilla.....worth a shot I guess....
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