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Class of October 2015 Part 4

Old 12-02-2015, 07:49 PM
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I enjoy Winslow's posts, and I'm sorry to see her go. I don't want anyone from our group to leave, and my first reaction is to take it personal when that happens. I love our group! We have gotten close. I truly believe I would not have stayed sober this long without your support and encouragement. I start and end each day checking in with/on our group. I am so grateful for you all!! Yall are stuck with me : )
Juno, that's sounds like a rough day. It is so great though that you have a doctor you trust, and he has been very helpful. Hang in there!!
I'm tired after a really long day at work. The thought of drinking briefly crossed my mind after work, but I quickly recognized it was just because I'm tired. So I got home, changed into my jammies immediately, and watched a cute, feel good movie (Real Steal). And I forgot to even think about drinking anymore. It passed so quickly! I've got to muster up the energy to do dinner dishes now... Regarding dishes, I've gotten pretty good about telling myself "you don't want to deal with this tomorrow, so deal with it now."
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Old 12-02-2015, 07:51 PM
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I think this thread is just real. I'm trying to be positive so I've been quiet a bit. I'm learning to just be more quiet to smack down these negative thoughts in my head. Anyway I read along but again I'm a bit of an emotional "poster". Lol ((hug))!
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:16 PM
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Hey all,my post this morning was rude and I apologize,I guess its just because I'm new here and jumped onto the Oct thread toward the end,I haven't really had a chance to really"meet" anybody, I guess too I'm a little embarrassed because I was such a heavy drinker that I felt sort of.....I dunno how to describe it but when some said that they couldn't identify with it,I felt like a weirdo,also I've tried to be positive but since I'm new I think I come across as an annoyance,this could be just my sensitive brain overreacting to nothing, of course sobriety isn't all rainbows and unicorns but its not all gloom and doom either, I think its good to talk about the bad but I think its GREAT to talk about the good and prop each other up during the difficult times,I want us all to succeed,no more dwindling class of October 2015!😊
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Winslow View Post
I dunno how to describe it but when some said that they couldn't identify with it,I felt like a weirdo,😊
That might have been me. The people here seem to be on a wide spectrum regarding their alcohol problems. Some posts I can relate to better than others. Some posts scare me more than others, especially those which, I sense, show me a glimpse of my potential future.

We are all here for a reason. I've been here for 2009 so there is something inside me crying out for help and advice. Sometimes I get that advice, sometimes I don't but I appreciate all the attempts of assistance i get.

Here and in real life I try to bring humour to things. I often write in a heartfelt, honest but tounge-in-cheek manner.

I hope my facetiousness hasn't offended you and undoubtably there are other posters whose tales may click better for you, both here and on other threads.

Anyway, I'm glad you're back.
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:10 PM
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Winslow, I'm glad you're back too. Everyone in this group is important and adds a unique perspective - and we all have the same problem, though it manifests itself differently in different people.

I think I was the one who said that initially - that I can't relate to a lot of the situations and stages of alcoholism that are often talked about on this site. I shouldn't have said that - I'm really sorry. It was insensitive of me to say that without knowing everyone's personal histories very well. The only one I know pretty well is Midton, because we have known each other quite a while now.

They way I look at it - it doesn't matter what your pattern or style of drinking was - we all know we want to stop what we were doing and that's why we're here.

My Dad (who was a type of alcoholic) said to me (one day when I was really hungover and needing help): "There are all types of alcoholics." What he was trying to tell me is that just because you don't identify with certain characteristics of alcoholism, it doesn't mean you don't have a problem. And the solution is to stop drinking.

I hope that explains it better - it was really insensitive of me to say all that stuff and I'll be more careful in the future.

Midton, please keep up the tongue in cheek style. Humor is always appreciated!

And yes, being sober is sooooooo much better than drinking. I want to achieve some level of rainbows and unicorns and hoping that is around the corner. My kids have been making it hard to me to feel that way, but I hope it's possible.

I'm glad you're back, too!
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:12 PM
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I drank all day everyday for 5 years straight winslow so I definitely get heavy drinker...but I went through all the other stages too - totally non drinker, then odd nightly drinker, weekend drinker, binger...

Some folks here aren't alcoholics at all, but as a 30 years daily pot smoker I identify with their substance abuse too

Everyone here is on the bell curve of addiction, maybe not in exactly the same place, but definitely the same road

I really believe we have more similarities than differences

D
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:32 PM
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I'm really glad you're going to stay, Winslow : ) That makes me happy! I get a lot out of your posts, and I relate to them really well. What you say hits close to home for me because I'm usually like, "oh yeah, me too". The great thing is no matter where we are in the spectrum, we are learning from each other. I really do love our group!
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:36 PM
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I am glad you are back as well.. We are all unique and each have our own problems..thats why I am so interested in hanging around. Its almost like a tv series. Winslow no need for an apology at all. I think we all go through our varied emotions and post here mostly on a daily basis. Well at the moment I am bloody at the top of the satisfaction /happiness scale.. Loving life with no doom and gloom in sight..so fingers crossed it lasts for a good while. Being sober is so fullfilling. In the beginning of October I was so worried what I would do when I quit the booze but things just fall in place as time goes by. I am so much calmer in the way I behave, think and act. I used to worry about unnecessary things it seems now.. It is hard to explain but life is at a different pace..
I used to be such a wild and naughty drug taking drinking man that its like I am that persons twin brother. I am the quiet one now..
I have no interest in drinking at the moment and no reason why I should.. I am meeting my " drinking" friend tomorrow after work at his place and as we have already had a chat not worried about being offered a glass of wine at his place..socially I was never really a pub person as such so dont miss those places
Either.. Also tomorrow is our company christmas party, I have been witht this airline for over 9 years now and only been to one many years ago.. I was so drunk that I ended up on the subway and woke up without shoes.. Perhaps someone needed them!!! That was the last one as I was the talk of the town for a ling time after that.. Thakfully I never attended another one. Free booze to an alcoholic need I say no more!!! Airline staff seem to drink like fish and dont need/want that anyway...
Day in office is quiet as you can tell as writing this at work. Hope it all makes sense.
Glad you back winslow.. Tomorrow is docs appointment early dinner as have to fast for blood tests.. Good evening and oh dear another shooting in the USA.. Those guns have to go!
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:51 PM
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Syd,

Like the TV series line.
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Old 12-02-2015, 10:11 PM
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Good evening all! The app I use is called "sober time", blue triangle with a clock in the middle. So glad you stuck around Winslow! I love your name, reminds me of home. The town I grew up in had a ferry named "Winslow" sometimes it would take us to where we would go camp, so your name always brings up good memories.

Well, we got our first snow of the year, so lots of car accidents and falls in the ER, super busy. I did meet a fellow alcoholic the other day, I'm sure most I work with see these type of patients as losers, but I have a special place in my heart for them. We don't know everyone's story, I looked him in the eye and told him I'm an alcoholic, and that there is hope for sobriety. I praised him for his courage to get sober and told him he could do it, poor guy looked horrible, bad DT's. I hope I made him feel better, no alcoholic should have to feel alone or isolated, it only feeds the addiction. On a lighter note I have been in a great mood at work, no room for pessimism when working with the sick, I want to make people smile. I had a 94 year old women grab my butt today and tell me I have a nice one, lol, people are crazy.

I was really tired after work today, think I'm fighting something. My wife and I have been enjoying our essential oils lately, new hobby. I have been putting a drop of peppermint in my water for a little pick me up after work. At night I really like the lemon oil in my water, smells so good. We have also been diffusing with lavender, citrus blend and an immunity boost called "on guard". I am going to order some juniper oil, supposed to help with addiction and digestion.

As for our class, it's nice, just the right size, real personal. Would be interesting to know how many people have posted to our class or started versus how many are left.
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Old 12-03-2015, 06:49 AM
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Hi all - catching up on posts this morning. Sydneyman, sounds like you're doing great. Looking4awagon - you have an interesting job. My job is an office job and dealing with numbers, etc. It's what I like and what I have always liked, and the people are nice but dealing with people isn't what I enjoy doing best.

I had a difficult night last night after a difficult day. My daughter got upset about some things and "ran away." She didn't really run away, but she ran out of the house and I had to follow her to make sure she was safe. I stood there next to her while she proceeded to yell one mean thing after another to me. I went back home and found that my son (the one with high functioning autism) was on the phone with a 911 dispatcher. He had called to tell them his sister "ran away." So I had to get on the phone with the dispatcher, explain that she was upset but not suicidal, that I knew where she was and that I was calling her Dad for help and that they did not need to send the police. They didn't. Thankfully. I know my son was upset and meant well, but we didn't need the police there.

Her Dad finally came and calmed her down and they came home. I was so rattled by the whole night that I decided to try out my new anti-anxiety medication. The doctor said I could take 1, 2, or 3 at one time (only take 3 if I was directly going to bed). So I took 2 and didn't feel much of anything. As the night wore on I took 1 more before bedtime and then I started feeling it. It made me kind of dizzy and spacy and then when I closed my eyes I say patterns of flowers and things as if I was seeing a coloring book. I don't know if others experience the medication this way, but I did. It wasn't unpleasant. And I went to sleep and slept all night. I don't want to take this medication everyday, because normally I sleep quite well on my own. But it's there for me if I need it, for anxiety, and I happy to have something other than alcohol to ease the sharp edges of reality in my life.

Hoping for a better day today and glad to be sober.
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Old 12-03-2015, 07:05 AM
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Hey all,thanks everyone😊 I should have talked what I was feeling yesterday with you all,I haven't been sleeping good,my left ear aches,my moods been off and on,I've let things like this cause a relapse again and again,I get tired of not feeling great and say "F-it!" I really can't have that happen to me anymore, I make dumb choices when I drink,I'm irresponsible, I hate.work,I can't watch my 2 year old grandson, etc,why after a few weeks does this happen? Its like everything we know and have learned about the importance of staying sober and tools we use suddenly dissapear? I'm just having a rough morning, got to turn it around! I hope everyone has a great Thursday😊
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Old 12-03-2015, 07:09 AM
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X-post Juno,sorry you had such a rough day/night yesterday, sounds chaotic,also glad you had something to calm your nerves besides al,the flower visions seems kinda wild haha😊
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Old 12-03-2015, 07:28 AM
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Winslow, I hope your day gets better. I hope I have a better one, too. I can relate to the thought of using alcohol to deal with physical discomfort - and like you, I know it only makes everything worse. Hang in there!!
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Old 12-03-2015, 02:20 PM
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I'm sorry it was a bad night Juno. I hope your day was better
Sorry you're in pain too Winslow, but glad you're staying

D
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Old 12-03-2015, 02:58 PM
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My day turned around thank goodness, still need to make an appointment with the doctor and have her check my ear,I'm always getting ear infections, gonna try a benadryl tonight for sleep,that way if it makes me feel weird at least I'm off tomorrow so it won't matter,wish I could take a swig of nyquil like hubs does and knock out for 12 hours but that stuff doesn't agree with me,hope everyone's day is going good😊
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Old 12-03-2015, 03:08 PM
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yeah avoid the quick fixes winslow...nyquil has alcohol in it anyway...

D
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Old 12-03-2015, 04:01 PM
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Ok been to docs,, had his finger up my bum did not expect that but at least i now know that my prostate is good as well. Also an ECG so heart is still beating there and normally.. All blood tests taken. My blood pressure- Midton- was down and he has taken me off one of the pills that I have been taking for decades..
Doc very happy with me and will give me my test results when they come in early next week.
He asked me how I was finding not drinking and how I did it.
I spoke about SR, he was very interested about this site and would even suggest it to some patients..
So Friday norning here, the staff christmas party is on tonight and staff are already in the mood.. I am in no party mood/mode..
I will go and see my friend after work, order chinese take out as we do on friday (this is our naughty food night) and chill.. Tomorrow morning I have painters coming to paint my courtyard/garden as our building is being painted.. I need to squeeze my walk in as well.. In the afternoon going to see a play at the Sydney opera house. I love my theatre and it will be nice to see this play sober.. Last play we "saw" was with Cate Blanchett ended up with an argument with my partner at interval. A production in itself for people at the bar. I was looking forward to this play for months but cant remember a thing. The play started at 1pm. I stated drinking at 7-8am that morning!!!
Just thinking of that makes me feel disgusting in myself..
Jeez things have changed for me.. I want this feeling to continue. I am part of the human race again and doing normal things is wonderful..
Sunday is a morning walk followed by gardening if the painters finish on Saturday!! It should be a sunny hot weekend here so a swim will be on the list somewhere as well. Life is grand..
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Old 12-03-2015, 04:03 PM
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Juno, sounds dreadful!!!
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Old 12-03-2015, 05:46 PM
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Hi everyone , thanks for the good wishes. Tough night last night, but better night tonight. My daughter is in a much better mood, not all problems are solved but I'll take a quiet night for a change. Glad to hear you're feeling better, Winslow, and lots going on Sydneyman. But all sounds gooooooood!!

My Mom had some surgery today and I was worried most of the day until I just heard from them - all is pretty much okay, but I was so worried waiting for the call to know they were okay (both my Dad and Mom). Also, I got a flat tire on the way home from picking up my son. It's always something I might have even drank over this in the past! Yes, I'm sure I would have!

Sydneyman, I'm reading a book that takes place in Sydney and thought of you. It's called Hypnotist's Love Story. Pretty good so far. I have been reading mostly alcohol related books for the past several months and wanted a change. I'll get back to the alcohol reading later - maybe alternate between recovery related and pure fun.

Have a good night all, so glad tomorrow is Friday!
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