Midton

Today is 12 weeks, 84 days and I'm hanging on by the skin of my teeth. I've been getting massive cravings at work, all the while knowing that I'm not going to buy any wine. If I'm being honest the upcoming holidays , with their organised parties and merriment are filling me with dread. I know if I stop stopping I won't bounce back quickly like many here, I'll be back to (at least) weekly binges for months.

Other than that I'm as chirpy as can be. Have a great weekend.

Dee74

Do you need to attend all these parties Midton?

D

Midton

I actually think I do need to attempt at least some on them, the family ones for example. Mentally there are others that might be in my best interests to attend.

Others thought I might very well need, I'm not sure. I am so isolated here and have no real native friends and very few western ones. I am lonely. The 4 month winter has begun which means there is nothing to do around do here. I am bored. I work hard and want and desire/need some release or reward at the end of the week. I have zilch.

I'm on remote control with the speed stuck at slow. My life is fine now but dull. I'm searching for something to replace the escape of alcohol.

Today I was up at six, went to the gym and have just eaten. The weather is a bleak mix of hail, wind, rain and bitter cold. This city doesn't even have any decent shopping. I want a hedonistic splurge of some sore. I'm panicking that I'm wasting my weekends (and life) doing nada.

Dee74

I hope you can find things to keep you excited and engaged, that don't need alcohol Midton.

It is possible

I think that's the basics of making a sober life you love as much as you used to love the drinking life?

D

Midton

Well tonight I am in the process of watching DVDs for the first time in years. I'm 2 down and 1 to go. The first two I hadn't seen before and they were pretty good. The final one I've seem before, but not in English, and I enjoyed it. Got a pizza this Saturday as opposed to the chocolate I usually stuff my face with.

It's worked thoughts I'm feeling quite content and crave-free.

Winslow

Hey all,just checking in, not much going on with me,still not drinking,still don't want to,I know that drinking won't help anything from past experience, however I know I'll hit another bout of PAWS in a few weeks and I hope my attitude is as strong as it is now,hope everyone has a nice Saturday😊

grizzlybearblue

That sounds like a really nice saturday night, midton!
I had meant to check in last night after my meeting, but I got home, turned on basketball, ate chips and dip for dinner, and totally crashed. I didn't get out of bed until 11 this morning. I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but I have been feeling really bad when I first wake up. Headache, nauseated, altogether yucky. I'm really glad I'm waking up sober, but the feeling isn't much different than waking up with a hangover. I've never been a morning person, but waking up doesn't have to be painful right?!

sydneyman

Morning from me. Sunday morning it is. Have had a sober weekend and been very quite. Did my walking, cooking and watching movies. Another over cast day here so will repeat yesterday today.
Very quite here as well.

Midton where do you live?
Grizzly and Winslow both doing so well. Juno keep going I am right behind you . Only one who hasn't been here is HelpImalive perhaps he/she is away for the holidays.

Midton

I'm in Japan. I don't ski but the mountains around us are about to fill up with Australians at this time of year.

Juno11

Hi everyone, I'm having a good weekend. Getting a lot of things done, yet at the same time realizing the stress of the Christmas season is upon me. With 3 kids who love Christmas and one with a birthday this month, I will be extra busy.

Re: the wine, I was about to say all's quiet - zero cravings, until around 4:00 today when I felt as if I wanted a "glass of red" to go with putting up the Christmas tree. That's an association from the past few years when I used to do that. It's just an association - one that I need to break. I'm going to put up the Christmas tree and do it without wine. I'll feel so much better tomorrow

I honestly remember the days when alcohol (wine) was only sort of a problem for me and I used to get away with being able to drink it. Now whenever I have tried I seemed doomed to a miserable hangover the next day, and I just can't take another one of those - EVER.

Midton, I hope your mood is doing better this weekend. It must be tough living in a foreign country. I lived in the UK for a couple of years and to me that was a foreign country, though I grew to love it. It took me a good 6 months for it to feel like home - I remember that well.

Sydneyman, keep going. The days just add up as long as we don't drink

Winslow and Grizzly - good going getting through Thanksgiving sober. We're all going to be stronger because of it. Griz, I don't have those feelings when I wake up that you described. I'm not sure what it could be. I am, however, much more tired than normal because of the shorter hours of daylight - I think. I have found myself needing naps the past few days. Maybe it's just my age catching up to me

Dee74

sounds nasty LOL

D

Winslow

Juno,I had the exact same thoughts.while pputting up the tree and decs! I would always drink beers while putting them up and always get it done in one night,doing it sober,its taking me a few days,just pacing myself I guess cuz it does get overwhelming and without the buzz its slooow going😊

grizzlybearblue

Good job Juno and Winslow!! Gettin' it done sober : )
I went outside and did yard work while my significant other put up the tree. When I was on a lot of drugs, I would do my yard work at night because I would sleep most of the day. I used to joke that my neighbors probably thought I was a vampire because I only came out at night. So when I started doing my yard work at 5:15 today, my significant other said "I guess some habits die hard, huh".
Yall reminded me of a couple of years ago when I didn't put my tree up until 10pm on Christmas eve! I had it in the den for a few weeks, but I hadn't felt like doing anything with it. I had made time for my drug runs and liquor store runs, but I didnt decorate for Christmas. Uh, that just made me feel sad. I remember that night I was drinking vodka straight from the bottle and running around like a mad woman. I am so glad my life isn't that chaotic anymore!!

Juno11

I got the tree up and decorated and it's 11:28 pm. It was a ton of work and I'm exhausted! My kids didn't really help this year, but it's okay because it gave me a chance to organize things and only get the ornaments that I want on there. I'm going to throw away a few bags of the junkier ones. The tree looks great!! I had to run to CVS in the middle of it all to get more lights, but it all worked out. Phew! Yeah, no thoughts of drinking once that initial thought was out of my mind.

Winslow

Happy Sunday everyone😀 yeah Juno its easier to block the drink thoughts out than letting them fester and get harder to control, maybe I'm a nerd but pizza and DVD's sound like a heavenly Saturday night Midton😊 I feel pretty good,not overconfident but with AVRT realizing that I really am in control of not relapsing,I don't need to self sabotage cuz there's nothing to sabotage the desicion to never drink again is made,hope everyone enjoys their day

Juno11

Good job, Winslow. Pizza and DVDs sounds perfect for me for a Saturday night, too!

I'm craving some pizza today - might have to order some!

So glad to wake up sans hangover today. The decorated tree looks pretty. And I have a lot to do today.

At the moment I'm not sad that I'm not able to drink. Really guys, we're not missing out on much. The buzz that fades quickly and doesn't last, isn't always pleasant, the toxic aftermath which always lasts 10 times longer than any initial pleasure. Who needs it - that's how I feel today. I think I'm on Day 14 again though the counting days has become a little less important to me this go round.

Have a nice Sunday, all. I'm a little in shock that we have a "regular week" coming upon us. The break has been nice for me.

Winslow

I'm with you Juno,I've lost count of my days I always do after 30,drinking itself holds no appeal for me either,the taste,spending my hard earned money on it, making bad decisions like going gambling or something, also not knowing what kinda buzz I was gonna get,happy or the crying,listening to sad music buzz,plus needing to make sure I have my supply,meh,no.thanks

grizzlybearblue

Winslow and Juno, you brought up two really good points about not self sabotaging because the decision never to drink again is already made and how short the buzz lasts compared to the hangover. Two very important things to remember!! Thank you : )
I have a lot to fit in today. Going for a run, plenty of laundry, grocery shopping. I have two incentives to knock 'em out early- Griz basketball game at four and the walking dead mid-season finally tonight. I'm really looking forward to both!

grizzlybearblue

It's 3:15 on sunday, and I was just thinking how for so long I was always drunk at this time. I would drink early, not because I wanted to be drunk already, but because I wanted to be able to function for the rest of the day. I would always tell myself "don't drink enough to get drunk, just to be normal". Then I'd always get drunk because once I got the taste of it, I wouldn't stop. What a yucky feeling having to do that. I do not miss that at all!!!

Winslow

Grizzly, I heard hubs crack a beer at 1 pm in the garage😠 I said something to him but he just said he wanted energy to put up the outside lights,but he can sip on it,if it were me I'd be drunk by now and ready for bed at 6 pm,not fun!