Dee74

hi help - I posted to you in the other thread
hi to you too sydneyman

I really had to take drinking off the table as an option.

No matter what I was feeling, or what situation I was in, or what lies my inner addict was sprouting, I had to look for other solutions and coping strategies.

I wanted change - and I wanted more from my life.

The only way to do that is to strike out on a new path.

Even if we occasionally try and convince ourselves otherwise, we already know where the drinking road leads....we know.

Remembering that truth is the first step to acceptance, IMO.

D

Juno11

Hi all - I'm very tired after a long day. I had to skip my treadmill workout, which is fine - I'm only aiming for 6 out of 7 so this is that one day I give myself a break. I didn't score as well on my brain puzzles (lumosity) because I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night (my son hasn't been sleeping well so I've been up a lot) but I did have a very productive day at work today. Can't believe I had a hangover last Monday.

I had some wayward thoughts about romanticizing the drink today - I hope they are only thoughts and I can work on going forward here.

HelpImAlive and Syndneyman, so glad you both checked in. This isn't an easy process, and we understand!!!

Midton, I hope your mood is better today.

Everyone else, hi and hope you had a good Monday!!

grizzlybearblue

I'm with Juno, help and sydneyman, I'm glad yall checked in. I think the fact that you're both back here after drinking shows that you want it, and wanting it is what it takes to get started again. You've both had stretches of sobriety so I know you can do it!!! We're here for you : )

grizzlybearblue

Winslow, usually I don't have trouble sleeping. I can say "I'm going to sleep now" then go right to sleep. The people that know me are like "how does she do that?!". But last night I did not sleep well at all. I think it's PAWS related. I hope you made it through work fine and get a good night's sleep tonight!

sydneyman

really makes me feel pathetic. this is now the second time.. not going to dwell on it..

Dee74

I understand not dwelling on it...but what happens tho Sydneyman - whats the thought process that leads you to drink again?

getting that out may help you work out ways to change the outcome?

D

sydneyman

Dee i dont know..

Dee74

I dunno if I've suggested this link before...but I will now

it might help you to work out what are the factors or triggers involved Sydneyman?

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

D

Frank14

It looks like I'm less than an hour away from completing day 38 and I feel worse than when I was drinking. I guess it's the PAWS related insomnia the past several nights coupled with severe depression. I'll hang in there, but believe me, there's no desire to ever drink again that's for sure. I won't even mention my uncontrollable rage. I don't even want to get out of bed tomorrow, and I know it's going to be raining.

I'll check in tomorrow I guess...maybe I'll try some Drayno or antifreeze to see what kind of buzz I can get. Lol! Just some late night humor. Ugh.

Dee74

Stay with it Frank - things do get better

D

Juno11

Good going, Frank with 38 days. A few of us on this thread crashed and burned at around 35 days so there's something about that time frame that must be triggering (not to self: be aware of this next time!)

I think I'm on Day 9. Getting up there again. Get right back on your feet Sydneyman. I felt like a loser after my last binge as well. But you can do this.

Yesterday I was thinking a lot about drinking and a new brew pub that is opening right near my yoga studio made me wistful for the days when that was possible. Beer was not my drink of choice, because it makes me too full. Wine had more bang for the buck, and I grew to like the taste of good wines (especially out a wine bar, etc.) So this opening of this new brew pub triggered some things in me that were not good - wishing for a little fun and excitement, etc. Today I'm going to actively work on countering those thoughts (if they arise) with reality. I didn't drink, I wasn't close to drinking, but I didn't like where my mind was going.

Already starting the day a little rough with attitude from the teen daughter. I can't take too much of this. Time to insulate and take care of myself. Later all!

Winslow

Hey all,sorry some are having a hard time right now,I understand completely, I was having a difficult day yesterday with being so tired that I couldn't think straight, thought of drinkin just to get some energy but knew it would just start the cycle again,I've got to heal for good,I keep picking the scab instead of just letting my body and brain heal once and for all,in the Rational Recovery book he says we're choosing to feel uncomfortable for a bit when quitting, I can deal with feeling uncomfortable, I can't deal with drinking again,cheer up everyone, don't beat a dead horse,its over and done,dwelling on the fact that you drank only makes you feel awful about yourself and makes drinking likely again,hope everyone has a nice Tuesday😊

KeyofC

I still have difficult days too, so I can relate. Just with me, it's like how Dee says, drinking is not on my menu. It's completely off the table. It's not a "go to" for me. If I wanted to drink I definitely could, as there's always some form of alcohol in my fridge. I just don't, not an option. I have read that "when you want to stop drinking as bad as you want the air you breathe, you'll quit drinking". It rang through to me. Also I read "You want to stop starting over, stop picking it up". I am a quote person..quotes seem to make a lot of sense with very little words, brevity...
Get up, brush off..you do have to look at it and figure out another plan because that plan didn't work. You need different tools for you toolbox as Dee would say.
Can't live in a drunk life sober.

Juno11

Key of C - I like that quote.

"You want to stop starting over, stop picking up."

Short and straight to the point.

Soberwolf

Here's some useful links SydneyMan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Winslow

Keyofc,I've become a quote person too😊 when I first started a half hearted attempt to get sober 3 years ago,I absolutely HATED quotes,they seemed so lame at that time,now they inspire me,also I do think there's something to the needing to be on guard between 30 to 60 days,I really think the brain is rewiring intensely during this time,Iread a story called"the 90 day hhangover" I'm gonna Google and read it again,stay strong peeps😀

looking4awagon

When you find that article winslow, post a link.

sydneyman

My partner said he is having a vodka tonic on friday as we got home from work..
Suddenly i had a drink in my hand.. Saturday took my partner out to degustation restaurant and my frined said lets have a martini..and there i went 2 drinks later.. Sunday I drank what i could find and felt like death..
Today is day2 ...i worked so hard to stay sober.. Our home is now completely dry, cant have that temptation...my friend who joined as for lunch jokes about me going sober.. It almos that he wishes for me to fail... Need to distance myself feom him for a while.. He is a dear friend but dont like that aspect of him..
Ended in a fight with my partner on sunday.. Didnt speak to eachother until today..
So much to gain from just not drinking..

sydneyman

And I do not blame anybody except myself for drinking..

helpimalive

Hi Sydneyman, I don't have any advice obviously :p, but I just wanted to say good for you for stopping again, and for still seeing so clearly the benefits of doing this. That's one thing I let myself lose when I drink again; in my lies to myself I decide the benefits were an illusion. I envy that you don't lie to yourself :p

Also staying away from that friend a little while (or just only seeing him where there isn't alcohol?) is a good idea I think.