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Class of October 2015 Part 4

Old 11-21-2015, 10:59 AM
  # 281 (permalink)  
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Lots of good chatter going on lately. I have been doing a lot of lurking but feeling a need to post. I have had some strong cravings lately, lost my power in a storm for 26 hours and all I wanted to do was drinking while I sat in the cold dark...I didnt. Now I have a bunch of family staying with me because they still don't have power and that makes me want to drink. I haven't had time to work out in the last 5 days and my blood pressure has been up, having some headaches too. Been a little depressed, lots of guilt kicking back in. I'm going out on a date night with my wife tonight, really gonna need it. I'm also gonna get back on with meditating and working out once the family leaves. Wishing you guys well, congrats on two months Grizz!
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Old 11-21-2015, 02:35 PM
  # 282 (permalink)  
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stay with us, looking4awagon

D
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Old 11-21-2015, 04:36 PM
  # 283 (permalink)  
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I had a stronger urge to drink today than I have in awhile. I was doing the mundane things, dishes and laundry, and thought, "I have 2 months today, I should celebrate! Drinking seems like a good way to celebrate." It took me a few minutes to realize drinking to celebrate my sobriety is crazy!! So the thought passed, and I carried on with my chores. The shakes finally subsided but not before I dropped a large plant on the floor and spilled most of it, and I dropped a coffee mug and broke it. All I could chalk it up to was shakes = dropsies for me. I guess if I needed a reminder that my body is still healing, I got it today. So I decided to deep clean the trash can 'cuz I can't break that.
I'm thinking about going to a meeting to get my 2 month coin tonight. I did that at one month also. I thought to myself today, "they're going to think I only show up when I want something". But the way I look at it, I've earned it and I put my dollar in the basket so I've paid for it too!
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Old 11-21-2015, 06:18 PM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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You go get your coin Grizzly,you've earned it,I've never heard from anyone else about getting the shakes from a craving, I thought it was just me and there was something wrong!!thank you for your post and congrats on 2 months
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Old 11-22-2015, 09:01 AM
  # 285 (permalink)  
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Everything's so quiet here! I hope everyone is doing well.

Sorry about the power outages, Looking4. I hope everything is working again and that you got through okay.

Grizzly, sorry you had cravings but sounds like you got through just fine. You do deserve your 2-month chip!

Winslow, good job hanging in, too.

Midton, I hope you're doing well.

Others?? Syndneyman? HelpImAlive? Time2Rise?

I am doing great. On Day 7 and feel much stronger than I did last Sunday, which was Day 35 and I caved. The funny thing about this addiction thing is that it's not completely linear or logical. My cravings pop up randomly and don't seem to go away logically with the number of days sober. In fact, sometimes as the days build up, the cravings are slowly building inside of me and end up feeling like a time bomb that goes off. That's just how it works for me. I'm hoping that this time, being on Campral from Day 1, that the cravings just stay away. I haven't had one craving yet and it's Day 7 so that's good.

Trying to get things done today and working on figuring out who I am. I know that sounds crazy, but that's what I feel like. Lots of journalling, self-care and reading. This is what I need right now.

I hope everyone is having a good Sunday. I'm excited to start this week hangover free, as opposed to last Monday which was a nightmare.
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Old 11-22-2015, 09:51 AM
  # 286 (permalink)  
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Good morning! I hope everyone is doing well. I woke up this morning feeling better than I did yesterday fortunately. Lately I've been waking up thinking about all these big goals I have. I think it's time to write them down but include all the small steps it's going to take to get there. Then it seems not so overwhelming.
I've got to go to the grocery store today to get the stuff I'm going to cook for thanksgiving. I remember last thanksgiving I kept checking the clock to see if it was too early to start drinking. At 11am I decided it was not too early to start, but I'd been wanting to drink for two and a half hours before that (since I woke up). This will be my first holiday in 10 years not drinking so I do have some anxiety about that. But for today, I know what I need to do, and that does not include drinking.
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Old 11-22-2015, 10:44 AM
  # 287 (permalink)  
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I'm headed to the grocery store now as well. Wish me luck!! I hear it's a madhouse out there

I've been sober for the last several Thanksgivings, so I've gotten over that idea. I always buy a bottle of cranberry juice which serves well as replacement festive drink. You can do it this year, Grizzly!
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Old 11-22-2015, 12:50 PM
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Hey all,oh Grizzly,a few years ago I got hammered thanksgiving morning while cooking, I didn't even.serve the food,i ate a few pieces of turkey and went upstairs and passed out,one of my absolute worst memories!!luckily like Juno I've been sober for the last 2 so I'm not even associating drinkin with thanksgiving, Halloween was harder cuz this was my first sober one since I started drinking but I made it,30 days today but as I said on the thread I started for me I really hafta be on guard,I get the shaking cravings
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Old 11-22-2015, 12:53 PM
  # 289 (permalink)  
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The shaking cravings like Grizzly described yesterday, where you almost feel out of touch with reality and your mind is on a narrow visioned path,that feeling sucks,I just have to plow through those days
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Old 11-22-2015, 01:16 PM
  # 290 (permalink)  
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We don;t have thanksgiving here obviously but I've made it through a few Christmasses now. You guys can do this

some great tips in this thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D
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Old 11-22-2015, 05:04 PM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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Go get 'em, Juno! I took a nap after just thinking about getting out there.
Congrats Winslow on 30 days!!! That is so awesome
Thank you for the responses regarding thanksgiving : ) that really helped me. I did get some sparkling juices as a special treat for myself that day. I'm really looking forward to them! I want to break into them now, but I'll be patient...
My PAWS is hitting me with a vengeance these past 2 days. It's taking a lot of effort to do anything, but then when I do one thing, I'm more motivated to do the next. I had 2 things happen that I was really excited about today. I looked in the mirror, and I was like, "hey, it's my face"! For the last I don't know how many months while I was drinking I kept thinking, "this is odd. My bone structure is changing". It's called being bloated!! I think deep down I knew it was related to alcohol, but I wanted it to be something else so I didn't have to stop drinking. So after smiling to myself because my face is back, I went to put on my jeans, and I didn't struggle! Actually they're loose on me. Really excited about that! Hooray for the small victories : )
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Old 11-22-2015, 06:56 PM
  # 292 (permalink)  
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I'm still around but I'm pretty depressed and in a terrible mood.

Today is a national holiday so I should be relaxed and in a good mood. Last night I felt a mixture of nervous, dread and anger resulting in a terribly fitful sleep. I got up later that usual and went to the gym. I'm just back.

At the gym I felt like a smouldering volcano and ended up snapping at some guy. The gym is never a good place to snap at people but the guy was way in the wrong and knew it. I then helped a guy who was in the process of crushing himself while bench pressing. He came and thanked me again afterwards so I left the gym feeling both like a good guy and a dick.

I'm not prone to depression. I usually quite a happy-go-lucky type but this is now the second time since I've been sober that I feel really depressed. I thought the opposite happened ie. That depression lifted. Maybe it's just life.

I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow so I can hit my mental remote and do less thinking.
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Old 11-22-2015, 07:15 PM
  # 293 (permalink)  
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For me drinking served to mask an underlying depressive problem, Midton, so taking that mask away was quite a shock for me to look underneath.

The good news is, things got better.
It took some time but I 'came good' about 3 months.
D

S
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Old 11-22-2015, 09:27 PM
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Congrats Winslow on your 30! That first 30 days felt like an eternity to me.

Well my wife and my date night went good last night. We went out for dinner before the show and actually sat in the lounge, I ordered a soda water and cranberry which I really liked. It felt good being in control, enjoying my mock tail and good conversation and food. I didn't at all feel like I was missing out. At the show we attended there was more alcohol around, and afterwards we went to another bar, where I ordered another soda water and cranberry and a yummy appetizer. I felt good being able to let my wife cut loose for once, usually she has to drive because I would be getting smashed. I had a great time and felt great the next morning.

My dad and his ex wife (my mom) are still staying with me because power is still out in my town. My mom's dog who isn't potty trained and is an indoor dog has cropped in my house twice. I can't wait till they leave, and I can have my house back, so stressed out.

I'm at 1 month and 5 days sober and feel pretty good, will feel better when I can get back to exercising.

"A successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so."
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Old 11-22-2015, 09:52 PM
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I really like that quote, looking4awagon, thank you! Glad to hear you had a good date night. After in-laws and the pooping puppy, it sounds like you needed it : )
Midton, it's good to hear from you! I'm sorry to hear you're in a funk right now. I wish I had something wonderful to say that would help, but I don't. I just wanted to say I'm glad you're with us. Hang in there, Midton.
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Old 11-23-2015, 02:45 AM
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((Winslow)) good for you! 30 is amazing!
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Old 11-23-2015, 05:32 AM
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Hey all,thanks everyone😁 to e the first 30 are a breeze,after that I guess I'm not numbed out anymore and hafta actually feel,and that's where it gets tricky but I'm not gonna self sabotage with those thoughts,one thing that's bugging me is insomnia!anyone else? Some nights are ok but others are terrible! Last night was awful, wide awake at 2 a.m,getting through work will take a miracle,hope everyone has a nice Monday😊
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Old 11-23-2015, 10:18 AM
  # 298 (permalink)  
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Hm, yeah, hi guys.

First off, everything is terrible. Haha. In my real life, those who know me know that as my catch-phrase--"Everything is terrible." If I were a character in a sitcom, that's the phrase that would come to mind when you think of my character.

But yeah, in fact, right now, everything is terrible.

I drank on Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night. I decided, on Friday, that "I could handle it this time." Again. I decided that again. For the second time in sixty-five days. Twenty-six days after I thought it, drank, and decided it wasn't true after all, I decided it WAS true after all, AGAIN.

The good news is that nothing happened because of the drinking. No hangovers or bad behavior or anything. Just a bunch of lost hours, $30 wasted, and me confused and scared by the whole thing. :/

Also, on a related note ... I have to tell you all something extremely, stupidly, incredibly embarrassing. Please don't comment on it ... I just have to make it known, but I don't really want to talk about it ...

I posted to this thread on Friday night encouraging Midton not to drink ... while I was drinking. Literally I was drunk and had a drink next to me. I could not tell you what the hell exactly I thought I was doing, posting that at that moment.

Anyway, I'm going to post my own thread in the newcomers forum looking for advice, because I'm stumped as to what I ought to do now.
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Old 11-23-2015, 10:36 AM
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day 1....
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Old 11-23-2015, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by sydneyman View Post
day 1....
Do you mean you're on day 1 again? What happened? If so, me too! Day 1 buddies.
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