Class of November 2015
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Just one moment at a time kiki......and the moments will build up into a win for you......
Early morning Day5 here. Surfed through Friday night on the sofa with dark chocolate, good book, internet and some trashy tv......it was good. Getting through Friday is a real hurdle for me. Don't have to tell you how good Sat morning feels without the hangover.
Today a busy day with others coming in to help me on a workshop project, so the day should be fine. Next hurdle is Sat nite......
All the best everybody, whatever happened yesterday, today's here to be had sober....
Early morning Day5 here. Surfed through Friday night on the sofa with dark chocolate, good book, internet and some trashy tv......it was good. Getting through Friday is a real hurdle for me. Don't have to tell you how good Sat morning feels without the hangover.
Today a busy day with others coming in to help me on a workshop project, so the day should be fine. Next hurdle is Sat nite......
All the best everybody, whatever happened yesterday, today's here to be had sober....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 
Geeze!!! I was doing fine & the second I pulled into the parking lot of the AA meeting I had a massive craving & anxiety attack. I forced myself to walk into the meeting, sat down, started taking deep breaths & praying. I'm sitting in here now and I'm feeling a little better. God please help me stay sober today...please....
I am terrified of alcohol!
I am terrified of alcohol!
Keep on with the good work.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Kiki, you are doing great! I admire your strength. Keep that momentum going!
Learntofly, keep up the good work! Depression kicks in for me as well when I'm sober. I realized that I was self-medicating those depressed feelings away with alcohol. There are some good self-help tools out there. I always find it helps to just give myself a break: I feel exhausted after work, so I go to bed early. Just take care of yourself! Thanks for checking in
Learntofly, keep up the good work! Depression kicks in for me as well when I'm sober. I realized that I was self-medicating those depressed feelings away with alcohol. There are some good self-help tools out there. I always find it helps to just give myself a break: I feel exhausted after work, so I go to bed early. Just take care of yourself! Thanks for checking in
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Day 4. I saw my counselor today. We had a good talk.
But I still feel panic and anxiety. I messed up during my last relapse. Took too many emergency doses of benzos to help with the anxiety that drinking was causing. Now I'm feeling waves of panic all through the day.
I need to be strong...but this is brutal...
But I still feel panic and anxiety. I messed up during my last relapse. Took too many emergency doses of benzos to help with the anxiety that drinking was causing. Now I'm feeling waves of panic all through the day.
I need to be strong...but this is brutal...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
CRAP! I'm not that strong after all! I stayed for the entire meeting & even talked to my sponsor after for a few minutes & had another really painful anxiety attack & bought beer. I just don't think I can do this! I can't afford treatment but wish I could! I just need to stay HOME for the first 3-5 days. I KNEW going out was a BAD idea! I need to figure out this anxiety! I can't buy beer every time I have an attack. I feel so utterly defeated. I'm so tired guys. :-( :-( :-(
How will I do this? This disease is killing me & is so much bigger than me! If I could just get rid of the panic & anxiety! I think that would really help. I let you down friends. I let everyone down including myself. I just want to cry.
How will I do this? This disease is killing me & is so much bigger than me! If I could just get rid of the panic & anxiety! I think that would really help. I let you down friends. I let everyone down including myself. I just want to cry.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Try not to panic Kiki.
I dunno about you but every time I found myself uncomfortable I would think 'beer'.
Its the default position
What you need to do now is something different. Respond differently.
Dump the beer and call your sponsor - that's what they're there for
D
I dunno about you but every time I found myself uncomfortable I would think 'beer'.
Its the default position
What you need to do now is something different. Respond differently.
Dump the beer and call your sponsor - that's what they're there for
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Turkey
Posts: 66
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
CRAP! I'm not that strong after all! I stayed for the entire meeting & even talked to my sponsor after for a few minutes & had another really painful anxiety attack & bought beer. I just don't think I can do this! I can't afford treatment but wish I could! I just need to stay HOME for the first 3-5 days. I KNEW going out was a BAD idea! I need to figure out this anxiety! I can't buy beer every time I have an attack. I feel so utterly defeated. I'm so tired guys. :-( :-( :-( How will I do this? This disease is killing me & is so much bigger than me! If I could just get rid of the panic & anxiety! I think that would really help. I let you down friends. I let everyone down including myself. I just want to cry.
I am thinking of you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by patricia68
Day 4. I saw my counselor today. We had a good talk.
But I still feel panic and anxiety. I messed up during my last relapse. Took too many emergency doses of benzos to help with the anxiety that drinking was causing. Now I'm feeling waves of panic all through the day.
I need to be strong...but this is brutal...
But I still feel panic and anxiety. I messed up during my last relapse. Took too many emergency doses of benzos to help with the anxiety that drinking was causing. Now I'm feeling waves of panic all through the day.
I need to be strong...but this is brutal...
Sending good thoughts your way!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Thanks you guys. I'm not gonna give up. My sponsor said I need to see someone about my panic and anxiety. She thinks that my panic and anxiety are really getting in the way of my sobriety. I have struggled with panic and anxiety since I was a small child. It is truly debilitating. I am going to keep trying I will never give up.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by Healthygoals
Work day ends in 2 hours and all I can think of is going home after doing some grocery shopping and making a drink while I cook dinner. ARGH 
I won't be drinking tonight. I have a hard time committing knowing that I'm automatically facing a much higher percentage of failure but I figured I'll take it one day at a time and do my best. And when I commit to not drinking for the day, I just won't.
So Healthygoals be my green tea drinking buddy tonight
I also find that kombucha with the fizzy bitterness is satisfying and filling.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Thanks you guys. I'm not gonna give up. My sponsor said I need to see someone about my panic and anxiety. She thinks that my panic and anxiety are really getting in the way of my sobriety. I have struggled with panic and anxiety since I was a small child. It is truly debilitating. I am going to keep trying I will never give up.
Zoloft at a higher dose works pretty well for panic attacks (about 150 mg although you have to increase gradually). Paxil works best but talk about horrible withdrawal symptoms! .. much worst than alcohol in my experience.
Good luck! Let me know if I can help with anything about the panic attacks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by he19me
Lisa, it’s always good to admit. You took the sobriety challenge during tough times, and each day you succeed in such tough environment is a bigger victory over alcohol. All jobs / tasks are completely better under sobriety than under influence, and you already know that.
I am not as successful as many on this forum, but I have been trying harder every day since last Nov. I have been able to manage 15, 30, 45, 55 days few times in the last year, but then I would get into small periods of starting and then stopping. During days when I would drink it would be way - way less than in the past. But each time I missed, meant another day 1. Had more non-alcohol days this past year and I am proud of it.
During the sober days, I have been a better father, husband, an employee, a better person in general. I have felt healthier, slept better and more energized. And this better feeling is what keeps encouraging me to quit forever. Hoping someday I can have 3 months, then 6 months and then years. I will keep trying.
Don’t be disheartened, just keep trying. You have already seen the beauty of sobreity in just 4 days. Having a plan really helps. I slip only when I do not have a plan. There are some exercises and practices followed by many. Read their plan and approaches e.g. Dallow posted one for the weekend. Dee has something called urge surfing.
My plan for the weekend: after work today, play some tennis and a good nice dinner with family at home, with my choice of drink – Perrier Water. Tomorrow, some gym or tennis in the morning. Burgers for my boys for lunch, choice of drink ginger ale. Go out to a mall or pick another activity but away from home, choice of drink will be coffee. Sunday, groceries, cook for the week while watching football choice of drink some kind of smoothie, and hopefully weekend cleaning.
Hope you have a good weekend.
I am not as successful as many on this forum, but I have been trying harder every day since last Nov. I have been able to manage 15, 30, 45, 55 days few times in the last year, but then I would get into small periods of starting and then stopping. During days when I would drink it would be way - way less than in the past. But each time I missed, meant another day 1. Had more non-alcohol days this past year and I am proud of it.
During the sober days, I have been a better father, husband, an employee, a better person in general. I have felt healthier, slept better and more energized. And this better feeling is what keeps encouraging me to quit forever. Hoping someday I can have 3 months, then 6 months and then years. I will keep trying.
Don’t be disheartened, just keep trying. You have already seen the beauty of sobreity in just 4 days. Having a plan really helps. I slip only when I do not have a plan. There are some exercises and practices followed by many. Read their plan and approaches e.g. Dallow posted one for the weekend. Dee has something called urge surfing.
My plan for the weekend: after work today, play some tennis and a good nice dinner with family at home, with my choice of drink – Perrier Water. Tomorrow, some gym or tennis in the morning. Burgers for my boys for lunch, choice of drink ginger ale. Go out to a mall or pick another activity but away from home, choice of drink will be coffee. Sunday, groceries, cook for the week while watching football choice of drink some kind of smoothie, and hopefully weekend cleaning.
Hope you have a good weekend.
I made one too: tonight: cook - healthygoals and I are having green tea :P whether they want to or not -, eat, read a chapter book to the kids, work under the influence of more green tea, read, sleep; tomorrow: breakfast, do puzzles with the kids, meet a friend for coffee, work, go to kids' school for an event, play date with friend & her kids w/ pizza, do laundry, work, read, sleep ; sunday: clean up the garden for winter, get groceries, cook with the kids, dinner, movie & popcorn @ home, read with the kids, work, read, sleep.
I was also thinking, he19me, that every day without alcohol is a huge win, even if they come in bunches of a day, a week or a month. You seem to have had a lot of those days this year so the best we can hope for is to improve in the future, even by that one day.
Wishing everyone a strong and calm evening!
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