Class of November 2015
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 25
Just curious what do others here use as an excuse in general when offered a drink.
I'm really interested to hear the responses from both short term and long term sober people.
For example, I don't feel comfortable coming out saying "thanks, but I'm in recovery".
I don't know. Normally if someone offered me a drink in a social situation I'd be all over it. I guess I'm sort of looking for a standard reply, just not one that gives away that I'm trying to abstain for the rest of my life.
I'm really interested to hear the responses from both short term and long term sober people.
For example, I don't feel comfortable coming out saying "thanks, but I'm in recovery".
I don't know. Normally if someone offered me a drink in a social situation I'd be all over it. I guess I'm sort of looking for a standard reply, just not one that gives away that I'm trying to abstain for the rest of my life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
For me:
"No thanks, I am trying to get in shape. Up early to go to the gym - no drinks for me!" or just "I'm not drinking at the moment, I am trying to live healthier", or "I haven't felt good lately so I am skipping drinking for some time".
If you just refer to a healthier lifestyle you wouldn't even be lying, even if you're not putting all your cards on the table.
"No thanks, I am trying to get in shape. Up early to go to the gym - no drinks for me!" or just "I'm not drinking at the moment, I am trying to live healthier", or "I haven't felt good lately so I am skipping drinking for some time".
If you just refer to a healthier lifestyle you wouldn't even be lying, even if you're not putting all your cards on the table.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Finally able to check in, work has been whacky today!
3/4 of the way through day 4 and feeling great. 24 out of the past 30 sober.
Dinner and evening diversional activities planned, much the same as last night, including some knitting and reading.
At work so all I can do is quickly read and update and say welcome to the newcomers, stay strong to those maintaining sobriety and send well wishes to those battling the AV.
Let's do this!
3/4 of the way through day 4 and feeling great. 24 out of the past 30 sober.
Dinner and evening diversional activities planned, much the same as last night, including some knitting and reading.
At work so all I can do is quickly read and update and say welcome to the newcomers, stay strong to those maintaining sobriety and send well wishes to those battling the AV.
Let's do this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,004
Hi all, to me these monthly classes are showcases of human courage. Thank you all for coming here, posting and trying for sobriety.
Soberwolf had a saying on his posts. It said something about getting sober being the most badass thing a person can do. I don't know if it is the most badass but if it isn't, I don't know what is!!!
This class looks really strong. Stay strong and keep coming back!!
Soberwolf had a saying on his posts. It said something about getting sober being the most badass thing a person can do. I don't know if it is the most badass but if it isn't, I don't know what is!!!
This class looks really strong. Stay strong and keep coming back!!
Urban Hermit
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,586
Originally Posted by f1ngers 
Just curious what do others here use as an excuse in general when offered a drink.
I especially like this post:
Originally Posted by Michael66
I just say that I gave up a little while back, and I feel very much better for it. But it's not too common that I'm asked.
In my family, outside my immediate family, I told people I was drinking too much.
The response I have got usually is one of slightly wistful admiration. I think there are an awful lot of people who would like to drink less.
In my family, outside my immediate family, I told people I was drinking too much.
The response I have got usually is one of slightly wistful admiration. I think there are an awful lot of people who would like to drink less.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Congrats to everyone hitting milestones today 
to anyone struggling - use us - post here before you drink...we can help you change that outcome.
and do look at the links I posted upthread about recovery plans - take 5 mins to read each of the links.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5635556
I really think your recovery plan will be better and stronger for it
D
to anyone struggling - use us - post here before you drink...we can help you change that outcome.
and do look at the links I posted upthread about recovery plans - take 5 mins to read each of the links.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5635556
I really think your recovery plan will be better and stronger for it
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by vanaprastha
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
Hello all! I thought I should jump in and introduce myself since, while I'm not new to this forum, I'm new to this thread. I've been doing some lurking and reading on here all afternoon and this seems like a pretty great group! I'm coming down off of drinking entirely too much last night, blacking out, and I'm now feeling pretty anxious, stupid, and not great about myself today. At least it was a holiday today so I can stew at home!
I've always been a problem binge drinker since I started drinking at 22. For most of my 20s at least my drinking was limited to social situations so I just thought I was having a good time. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in your 20s? Anyhow, it started escalating around 29 or so to where I was drinking more nights of the week than not. Sometimes I'd keep it to just a couple drinks, sometimes I'd go to work the next day hungover.
I had a bit of a health scare around 30 that I convinced myself was from my excessive drinking despite my doctors' opinions and all medical advice to the contrary, so I actually did a pretty decent job from 30 - 33 of rarely drinking and when I did drink it was not more than 1-2 drinks. But all good things must come to an end, including convincing yourself that you pickled your liver and scaring yourself (mostly) sober, so after an unrelated CT Scan showed that my liver was not in fact at all pickled, I decided it was time to start drinking again. Go me.
So I've been drinking now, again, since 2013 and guess what! It's slowly escalated again over the last 3 years. Shocking, I know. I still don't drink every day, but when I do it's often go big or go home, and I'm back to drinking more days of the week than not. I'm probably back to the level I was at when I quit at 30. I joined here earlier this year and have washed out of a couple other classes. I haven't even made it to the week mark without drinking this year, not once, which is really pretty pathetic. I think my personal best was 6 days? So anyhow, there you have it. My story. Looking forward to getting to know you all and making this journey together. Hoping for some sober holidays!
I've always been a problem binge drinker since I started drinking at 22. For most of my 20s at least my drinking was limited to social situations so I just thought I was having a good time. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in your 20s? Anyhow, it started escalating around 29 or so to where I was drinking more nights of the week than not. Sometimes I'd keep it to just a couple drinks, sometimes I'd go to work the next day hungover.
I had a bit of a health scare around 30 that I convinced myself was from my excessive drinking despite my doctors' opinions and all medical advice to the contrary, so I actually did a pretty decent job from 30 - 33 of rarely drinking and when I did drink it was not more than 1-2 drinks. But all good things must come to an end, including convincing yourself that you pickled your liver and scaring yourself (mostly) sober, so after an unrelated CT Scan showed that my liver was not in fact at all pickled, I decided it was time to start drinking again. Go me.
So I've been drinking now, again, since 2013 and guess what! It's slowly escalated again over the last 3 years. Shocking, I know. I still don't drink every day, but when I do it's often go big or go home, and I'm back to drinking more days of the week than not. I'm probably back to the level I was at when I quit at 30. I joined here earlier this year and have washed out of a couple other classes. I haven't even made it to the week mark without drinking this year, not once, which is really pretty pathetic. I think my personal best was 6 days? So anyhow, there you have it. My story. Looking forward to getting to know you all and making this journey together. Hoping for some sober holidays!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Ugh, came home to stress, started feeling resentful and wanted a drink to deescalate but instead I set some limits, made myself a cup of cofffee, picked up my knitting and put on a comedy on TV. I think I can close out the day sober now after practicing some mindfulness and choosing healthier options.
I would still kill for a drink to chill out!
I would still kill for a drink to chill out!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Originally Posted by patricia68
Day 2. I went to bed really early last night, that helped
I'm still feeling a lot of anxiety but I forced myself to drink juice and eat some veggies.
I hope everybody is having a good day
I'm still feeling a lot of anxiety but I forced myself to drink juice and eat some veggies.
I hope everybody is having a good day
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 59
Dallow and others taught me something about staying the course...
That shame about the past , even if it is the ultimate motivation, backfires so easily, it's so awful at times that it makes the AV all the stronger , and I have to keep my focus on building hope for becoming a steadier person who makes good choices. Focus on positive examples of friends (like you guys!), not tragedies for my motivation.
Basically if you're a good parent this is how you would try to treat your child when they struggle with poor choices. So I could try to be just as kind and effective with myself! That's something to try for.
That shame about the past , even if it is the ultimate motivation, backfires so easily, it's so awful at times that it makes the AV all the stronger , and I have to keep my focus on building hope for becoming a steadier person who makes good choices. Focus on positive examples of friends (like you guys!), not tragedies for my motivation.
Basically if you're a good parent this is how you would try to treat your child when they struggle with poor choices. So I could try to be just as kind and effective with myself! That's something to try for.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
I don't have an excuse when offered a drink. I'm honest and matter of fact and say "no thanks! I don't drink anymore!" That's it. If they ask then I'll tell them that for me I felt like I just needed to not drink anymore, personal decision. Depending on who it is j may tell them I'm an alcoholic or I felt it became a problem for me. That's how I do it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 3
Hi everyone, new to the forum and this thread. I'm on day 16 and for the first time, this round I've realized I'm not able to do it alone so I've reached out to (now) this group, and in real life, I'm going to aa meetings as I'm able. I'm tired of my life being shrouded in a fog; circular, ruminating thinking, no energy, self-disgust, and being unable to break out of the (4 day!! Amazing I saw someone put that into words here, it's exactly it for me! Why is that, anyway?!) cycle. I have so much more to offer this life, and my family. I want to do this. I need to get that AV out of my head already. Glad I've found this spot, thank you all for keeping each of us accountable have a wonderful evening, until check in tomorrow
have a wonderful evening, until check in tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by f1ngers
Just curious what do others here use as an excuse in general when offered a drink.
I'm really interested to hear the responses from both short term and long term sober people.
For example, I don't feel comfortable coming out saying "thanks, but I'm in recovery".
I don't know. Normally if someone offered me a drink in a social situation I'd be all over it. I guess I'm sort of looking for a standard reply, just not one that gives away that I'm trying to abstain for the rest of my life.
I'm really interested to hear the responses from both short term and long term sober people.
For example, I don't feel comfortable coming out saying "thanks, but I'm in recovery".
I don't know. Normally if someone offered me a drink in a social situation I'd be all over it. I guess I'm sort of looking for a standard reply, just not one that gives away that I'm trying to abstain for the rest of my life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Originally Posted by SwimKim12
Hi, All. I'm embarrassed to post that I'm on day one. I drank the last two nights. There wasn't even a real reason for it. The AV is so damn sneaky. There is something in rational recovery about the AV predicting life without alcohol as gloom and doom. I believed that. But here's what I want to counter that with today: I had three and a half months sober this summer and it was great, but then I had PAWS symptoms (depression) and drank in August. Since then I've been drinking about once every week or two. There have been some posts about needing to break the cycle. I need to break the cycle!!
I reflected back on some of the things I gained during those three and a half months that I could have never predicted when I quit in April:
Confidence in myself, especially how I look. I started taking care of myself. I thought I did that before, but I really didn’t have respect and love for myself because I was too busy hating myself for drinking and all the things I did while drunk. I felt a calmness that I’ve never had. My anxiety decreased. I saved lots of money. My physical abilities greatly increased: I was able to swim only once a week and still stay in better shape then when I was swimming multiple times a week and drinking. I woke up without a hangover every day, just like a normal person!
We can do this. As Dee says, it starts with a plan. For me, it will be waking up and committing to my sobriety each day. And recognizing that ANY thought of drinking is 100% my AV, no matter what the reasoning. I commit to posting the AV's thoughts here. I accept that recovery is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. But I do believe the rewards that will come from long-term sobriety will make it worth the struggle.
Thank you all for being here. I could not do this without you guys. Stay strong!
I reflected back on some of the things I gained during those three and a half months that I could have never predicted when I quit in April:
Confidence in myself, especially how I look. I started taking care of myself. I thought I did that before, but I really didn’t have respect and love for myself because I was too busy hating myself for drinking and all the things I did while drunk. I felt a calmness that I’ve never had. My anxiety decreased. I saved lots of money. My physical abilities greatly increased: I was able to swim only once a week and still stay in better shape then when I was swimming multiple times a week and drinking. I woke up without a hangover every day, just like a normal person!
We can do this. As Dee says, it starts with a plan. For me, it will be waking up and committing to my sobriety each day. And recognizing that ANY thought of drinking is 100% my AV, no matter what the reasoning. I commit to posting the AV's thoughts here. I accept that recovery is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. But I do believe the rewards that will come from long-term sobriety will make it worth the struggle.
Thank you all for being here. I could not do this without you guys. Stay strong!
No embarrassment. Were all here for the same reason.
I'm day 1, had a beer in the fridge. Drank one for .......( does an alcoholic need a reason.?) I don't even like beer ! Lol
Just stupid.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Welcome
Originally Posted by f1ngers
Just curious what do others here use as an excuse in general when offered a drink.
I'm really interested to hear the responses from both short term and long term sober people.
For example, I don't feel comfortable coming out saying "thanks, but I'm in recovery".
I don't know. Normally if someone offered me a drink in a social situation I'd be all over it. I guess I'm sort of looking for a standard reply, just not one that gives away that I'm trying to abstain for the rest of my life.
I'm really interested to hear the responses from both short term and long term sober people.
For example, I don't feel comfortable coming out saying "thanks, but I'm in recovery".
I don't know. Normally if someone offered me a drink in a social situation I'd be all over it. I guess I'm sort of looking for a standard reply, just not one that gives away that I'm trying to abstain for the rest of my life.
Originally Posted by DariaM
Hello all! I thought I should jump in and introduce myself since, while I'm not new to this forum, I'm new to this thread. I've been doing some lurking and reading on here all afternoon and this seems like a pretty great group! I'm coming down off of drinking entirely too much last night, blacking out, and I'm now feeling pretty anxious, stupid, and not great about myself today. At least it was a holiday today so I can stew at home!
I've always been a problem binge drinker since I started drinking at 22. For most of my 20s at least my drinking was limited to social situations so I just thought I was having a good time. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in your 20s? Anyhow, it started escalating around 29 or so to where I was drinking more nights of the week than not. Sometimes I'd keep it to just a couple drinks, sometimes I'd go to work the next day hungover.
I had a bit of a health scare around 30 that I convinced myself was from my excessive drinking despite my doctors' opinions and all medical advice to the contrary, so I actually did a pretty decent job from 30 - 33 of rarely drinking and when I did drink it was not more than 1-2 drinks. But all good things must come to an end, including convincing yourself that you pickled your liver and scaring yourself (mostly) sober, so after an unrelated CT Scan showed that my liver was not in fact at all pickled, I decided it was time to start drinking again. Go me.
So I've been drinking now, again, since 2013 and guess what! It's slowly escalated again over the last 3 years. Shocking, I know. I still don't drink every day, but when I do it's often go big or go home, and I'm back to drinking more days of the week than not. I'm probably back to the level I was at when I quit at 30. I joined here earlier this year and have washed out of a couple other classes. I haven't even made it to the week mark without drinking this year, not once, which is really pretty pathetic. I think my personal best was 6 days? So anyhow, there you have it. My story. Looking forward to getting to know you all and making this journey together. Hoping for some sober holidays!
I've always been a problem binge drinker since I started drinking at 22. For most of my 20s at least my drinking was limited to social situations so I just thought I was having a good time. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in your 20s? Anyhow, it started escalating around 29 or so to where I was drinking more nights of the week than not. Sometimes I'd keep it to just a couple drinks, sometimes I'd go to work the next day hungover.
I had a bit of a health scare around 30 that I convinced myself was from my excessive drinking despite my doctors' opinions and all medical advice to the contrary, so I actually did a pretty decent job from 30 - 33 of rarely drinking and when I did drink it was not more than 1-2 drinks. But all good things must come to an end, including convincing yourself that you pickled your liver and scaring yourself (mostly) sober, so after an unrelated CT Scan showed that my liver was not in fact at all pickled, I decided it was time to start drinking again. Go me.
So I've been drinking now, again, since 2013 and guess what! It's slowly escalated again over the last 3 years. Shocking, I know. I still don't drink every day, but when I do it's often go big or go home, and I'm back to drinking more days of the week than not. I'm probably back to the level I was at when I quit at 30. I joined here earlier this year and have washed out of a couple other classes. I haven't even made it to the week mark without drinking this year, not once, which is really pretty pathetic. I think my personal best was 6 days? So anyhow, there you have it. My story. Looking forward to getting to know you all and making this journey together. Hoping for some sober holidays!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome Daria and Lola
I was super self conscious when I quit so I had these long mental essays prepared to explain why I didn't drink.
TRo my surprise I found most people didn;t really care - I was just assuiming opthers place the same importance on drinking that I did.
Now I find a no thanks is usually enough...I get a soda or something and all is well
I was super self conscious when I quit so I had these long mental essays prepared to explain why I didn't drink.
TRo my surprise I found most people didn;t really care - I was just assuiming opthers place the same importance on drinking that I did.
Now I find a no thanks is usually enough...I get a soda or something and all is well
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