Thumbelina

Just checking in. Day 7 for me
SR has been a huge help this week so thank you. Have a great weekend everyone

soulpower89

I think I'll also try one soon for the first time to see what it's like. Good luck!

Healthygoals

This day needs to end already, I think every one of my employees, and I have 90, have been in my office. I'm emotionally drained and have a stress headache making me primed for a drink when I get home. I've been trying to eat my lunch for over 2 hours. I could scream. I think what I'm going to do is take Tylenol and after work do my grocery shopping and pick out a nice dinner and add a dessert as,a treat to help with the stress. Hoping the man wants to stay in tonight. If not, I can go out and not drink, did it 2 weeks ago, I'll volunteer to be the designated driver and I NEVER drink and drive. Thanks for letting me vent! Stay strong everyone.

Healthygoals

2 weeks ago I had pneumonia! Boy did that help!

This weekend? I have a list of things I'd like to get done around the house and I keep reminding myself that they're not going to get done with a hangover.

I may go shopping and buy myself a reward too!

KeyofC

learntofly...long weekends in the beginning are hard..just keep yourself busy...do things around the house, make plans out, have friends or family to visit, read, watch movies. Just make sure you take care of your needs so you don't get weak in your commitment. HALT is very helpful...Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

In the beginning it's almost like mourning the death of the old you. Turn it positive and remember there's a whole new you waiting to be found..I joke and tell people all the time..."Hey! Let me introduce you to someone...YOU!" But it's for real and it's awesome! Take the good with the bad..they far outweigh those years we spent drinking and creating a false image of ourselves. If you do things you wouldn't normally do when you're drinking that is a false perception of who you really are. Keep that in mind everyone...((Hug))!

Zaec

I failed! Atleast after my kids were put in bed by sober mom. My husband brought 2 bottles of wine home. I told him don't bring any home if it's just for me. He said no I'm gonna have some whisky so we'll just chill .
He never drank but me confronted with 2 bottles of my favourite wine... i gave in.. had 1 bottle and a glass of the next... he wakes up on the couch and tells me... can't I sit still... I'm constantly moving... so I'm in bed now after storming from the lounge
Why is this my life, my reality why can't I be the wife he needs?. Man why am I a loser person
I had so many dreams when I was younger but I've lost it at the first abortion table.... I've lost it 2 days after my csection while scrubbing floors I've lost it while watching my husband's picked up at my front door by his mistress. I've watched it in my lonely, faithful life while men approach me.... all this while he's out there dining with her? Maybe I need to address the underlying pain before I could ever win? What is my life and who am I? My kids adore me but for how long? My 7 year old couldn't do the school triathlon because he was never taught how to ride a bike. Omw I can't do everything!! Just exhausted right now atleast I'm in bed and trying to sleep it off .... i knew this would be my fate .. .I feel so stupid.. sorry for the vent but I have nowhere else to do it . Lat time I relapsed I stayed away but I refuse to let it go unnoticed!!!

Ambuler

So I just got done unloading the groceries and eating my lunch (treated myself with sushi, yum!) and am proud to say I didn't buy any alcohol. It was really, really hard not to today for some reason. Probably because I've let myself cave a couple of times over the past week. I prayed this morning that God would help me to be strong in the face of temptation to drink, and I'm sure that has everything to do with why I was able to say no and not go get a bottle, or a six pack. In fact, I know that's what it was, because my AV was trying very, very hard to get me to go back to the wine aisle today as I was checking out. I was so relieved when I finally made it to the car. That was a challenge to say the least. But now I'm happy because I know that I won't be drinking all evening and have to go to a training for my job tomorrow morning with a hangover. So relieved. Thank you, God Now to just finish out the day. The hardest time of the day for me (4-7pm) is coming up soon so I just need to get through that and I'll be through day 2! Stay strong everyone!

CurlyGirl1978

I'll join the sober party! At least I'll be able to eat and sleep!

Ambuler

Zeekie, I'm so sorry that you are feeling the way you are right now. Don't feel bad about caving, just get through the rest of the night and start fresh tomorrow. You made a mistake, now get up and keep it moving! I just went through this myself. Guilt helps nothing. We're here for you if you need to vent. I know how hard it is when your husband doesn't seem to take your wanting to quit seriously and brings home booze. Mine used to do the same thing. It's tough. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just get some sleep, wake up and try and eat a good breakfast, and begin day 1. You can do it. You're in my prayers

Dee74

Have you discussed your drinking with your husband Zeekie?

do you really think a wife who drinks is what your husband wants, much less needs?

is he a Christian like yourself?
D

emme99

I am at work and everyone is drinking. At least no one is bothering me. I haven't joined them the last few weeks so no one is asking me to drink but I can hear them opening the bottles and it sounds like a party in here. Most of them should be leaving soon and then I can focus on trying to stay sober tonight. Sorry, just venting. It hasn't really bothered me in the past but it is hard to be around when you are on day 4.

Meshelly

Checking in on Day 6.
Happy Friday.
One day at a time.
Everyday just gets better and better.

SwimKim12

Zeekie, I look forward to having you back tomorrow. I'm sorry that you drank. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Please don't hate yourself. That is the alcohol talking. You are worth it. Pick back up with us tomorrow!

Emme, I hope you made it through work okay. Glad you came on here to vent.

Glad to hear everyone else is doing okay. On my way home from work the AV piped up, but I thought about you guys and the commitment I've made to stay sober, and my answer is, "no AV, I am not going to the store to buy alcohol! I will feel better in the morning without it."

Take care, All.

Zaec

It is Saturday morning here and I just want to thank everyone for existing, if that made sense.
I woke up this morning feeling rather embarrassed about my vent/drunk post last night but I will not stay down. Last night needed to happen becausr I've been romanticising wine so much but once again I realised it's nothing but a lie.
Atleast I'm not feeling to miserable because I took the advise and just went to bed.
Thank you Ambuler... I was reading your post about your day and you know what . .. it sounds so perfect and calm... i want that.
Dee, my husband is not Christian. He does go to church when I go and I think my complaining about him is more my drinking then him.
He doesn't need a drinking wife, you're right... it seems to be the only time we argue... when I drink
I feel positive today .... should have been day 4 but I'll take day 1.I know I can't stay away from this site or I'll lose it. Wish we had AA here.
Thank you family.

Ambuler

Zeekie, I was just re-reading through the posts and I saw that you haven't told your husband that you feel that you have a problem with drinking. It's difficult to stop drinking without support, but it's even harder if you don't let yourself be honest to the people that you're around on a daily basis, especially your husband. I'm assuming that you feel that he'll react negatively, but he really does need to know that you are planning on trying to give up alcohol. That way a boundary is at least set in place. If he brings home wine for you, then you can gently remind him that you aren't drinking. Maybe just tell him that you are giving it a break for a while if you don't feel comfortable telling him that you feel that you are an alcoholic. My alcoholism literally smacked my husband across the face, so there was no denying it for him or me....anyhow, it's just a suggestion, but if you're serious about giving it up, you need to put some walls in place to keep alcohol from being easily put in your face.

I also wanted to mention that there are AA meetings online if there aren't any face to face meetings in your area. I just recently started doing a few over the past few weeks, mostly because I haven't gotten the guts to go to an actual one yet. The website I use is stepchat.com. They have several meetings every day, and I've heard that you can even get a sponsor, though I haven't asked anyone yet. The times are listed for people that live in all sorts of time zones, so you should be able to find a time that works for you in South Africa. The meetings are pretty structured, as well, it's pretty neat.

Glad you're back and giving it another go! Let's do this!

Soberwolf

Have a peaceful Saturday guys its absolutely pouring down where I am with winds

KeyofC

Zeekie, Ambuler is right. It takes support to help you become sober. My husband drinks but the first 30 days (maybe longer I can't remember) he refrained from drinking around me if at all. There were beers in the fridge but I didn't drink them. His support was very important! Then I had to branch out and start telling family. His family are huge drinkers, every day drinkers. Are they alcoholics? Probably but my part is to do "me". I am not responsible for them so I don't take their inventory. The more people that know, the more it holds me accountable. Plus I needed them to not offer me drinks. Everybody I'm around knows now. I'm very honest about it. Social situations I just say "no thanks, I don't drink anymore".
I'm sorry you fell. Get up, brush yourself off. Get a stronger plan. It all begins and ends with you. You can do this but you go to fight for yourself! It's really tough but it can be done! Don't dwell on it. Figure it out and move on. Upward and onward!

KeyofC

Stay strong guys! Please fight it, please. We know it's hard, but it's so worth it. After a point it gets better. After a point it gets do able. After a point you get a new you, a new life, a new perspective. I had to start with Step 1. I don't physically go to AA but I study and work the steps. I have AA and Alanon members in my family for support. I had to completely surrender and accept the fact that I was an alcoholic. No matter what I did, no matter what kind of alcohol I drank, no matter how I tried to modify it, nothing I could do or try to do was going to change the fact that I can't control my drinking and my life was falling apart! Once I accepted it and I mean completely faced that, then I had to change my toxic thinking and my every day activities. Then things began to work and make sense. It's not all perfect, there are things I have to deal with, but I am learning the right tools to deal with them. Every day I commit to being sober. Every day I work on my recovery. It's my gold. I gaurd it with my life at all costs because quite frankly my life depends on it. More than anything I want to be sober and happy and at peace with everything in my life. I may have to crawl some days but I will make this happen with everything I have!

Dallow

For those of you who have slipped, I hope you will stick ever closer to this site and not starting to slip away also from here. I am happy to see you back and starting over.

I am on day 11 and I am not happy and I am not sad. I feel completly neutral to everything, very strange feeling.

Lately I have let vanity be a big source of motivation for me. It's really silly and not the greatest reason, but I feel really strongly that I don't want to mess up my training. I have been to the gym 8 times since getting sober and my body feels and looks so much better already.

I know it's a stupid reason, being out of shape is nothing compared to all the disasters I created while drinking. Just need something very concrete to hold on to, I suppose.

I hope you are staying strong and pushing through the weekend! And again, happy to see that those who caved in didn't make a several-day-binge of it.

Dallow

And Zeekie, great that you came back here, there is nothing to be ashamed of!

Regarding your situation, I second Ambuler's post. If I were you I would say that I am giving up alcohol "for a while", to let him get used to the idea and not bring home your favorite wine.

I am very certain I would not have been able to resist drinking if my SO brought home booze to tempt me in these early days.

I hope you are feeling better today!