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Class of August 2015 Part 7

Old 11-10-2015, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Feeling regret and self loathing right now. I know most of us feel this way after a relapse. What do you guys do? How do you forgive yourselves?

Nothing serious happened during my relapse. Mostly I hurt my confidence. And it's not even my AV talking this time, I don't want to drink.

But I can't find a way to be kind to myself. I'm my own worst bully right now...
Oh yeah, I have been there with beating myself up after relapses. TOTALLY. Usually it was for a few days then I forgave myself and moved on because I just had to. (except for heinous withdrawal, did not move on for awhile from that). Oh, and that nasty blackout, took a bit there too. When my relapse was just couple glasses of wine for one night, I still felt depressed and extremely anxious for a couple of days after. Just have to not put a sip down your throat. Have you read Crash course AVRT on Rational recovery website? Lots of suggestions from this class, wouldn't hurt to scroll back and try some if you havent?
Never know what may help. If you feel overwhelmed by advice or suggestions, just let us know that too, okay? We all want to help and support each other.
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Old 11-10-2015, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Sadie1 View Post
Have you read Crash course AVRT on Rational recovery website?
Thank you Sadie. I'm going to read it right now.
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Old 11-10-2015, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post

Thank you Sadie. I'm going to read it right now.
Patricia,
Im going to read again too, it's powerful for me everytime. Not the friendliest website, did you find it? Left side site map., then mini crash course AVRT. go through the flashcards.

Clown, you okay?

Retread, was wondering about your horse?
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:22 PM
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I didn't drink today. I am going to bed early to meditate. It was a long day, I feel tired physically and emotionally...but I'm glad I made it
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:44 PM
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I'm happy for you, Patricia!

"A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier."~Tom Stoppard
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:51 PM
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I'm glad you didn't drink, Patricia.

I don't know what to say here, sometimes. I had this same problem on the quit smoking group. Sometimes people would struggle, really struggle, and after a while it felt like I was enabling when I would offer kindness and tell them to keep trying. Yet I know how hard this is, as it's been brutally hard for me, as well.

Picking up and dusting off and keeping going, well, that's all we can do, right? As long as we're doing the work, really wanting it, learning from each time we stumble, I guess it's just the road some of us have to travel.

This is going to sound really crazy, perhaps, but with both smoking and drinking I had to learn how to want to quit more than I wanted to use. That took a lot of time and a lot of falling and a lot of hard work on my own head and attitude. The attitude changes were really important. It doesn't really work without that, at least it doesn't for me. And none of that happened instantly. It happened over time. The only thing I had going for me for a long time was resolve.

Don't ever give up giving up. We all have to feel our way with this. Hugs to you all tonight!
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:54 PM
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I'm here and sober! Day 18 wrapping up. I've been busy unpacking and won't have internet at home for two whole weeks! Ha, first world problems....

Sorry for your struggles Patricia and JL. I hope you both get sober ASAP.

I might be scarce until I get settled. Love my new place though! And I want to be sober here, I feel like I have a renewed commitment to sobriety.
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:55 PM
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I'm glad you made it through Patricia.

Learning to treat myself with the same care and diligence I treated others was hard, but not impossible - don't stop trying

D
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Old 11-11-2015, 03:08 AM
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((Patricia)) great news! Be strong today too dear..you are worth it ((hug))!
Retread, yes, all we can do is pick up, brush off, go again until one more time trying is the last time that sticks!
Have a good hump day everyone! Hang in there! ((Hug))!!
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Old 11-11-2015, 07:21 AM
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Thank you guys.
You are right Retread, attitude is everything. For the past weeks I've felt worthless, inadequate, guilty...what if my husband was right? What if I'm not good enough? What if I am really a failure? So I punished myself by drinking. It's a weird way of self-sabotage I think.
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Old 11-11-2015, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I didn't drink today. I am going to bed early to meditate. It was a long day, I feel tired physically and emotionally...but I'm glad I made it
Good for you Patricia. Keep it up!!!
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Old 11-11-2015, 03:16 PM
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Glad to see you posting and trying to hang in there! You can do it! ((Hug)) Patricia!
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Old 11-11-2015, 04:14 PM
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Busy busy Veterans Day . Huge things happened.
Got 2 hard days of work ahead then I can try to process all of it.
Found a beer in the back of the fridge. Started drinking it, and chunked it. Stupid.
Patricia I'm glad today was a tad of improvement for you !!!
Kids all over me. Can't type anymore
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Old 11-12-2015, 02:15 AM
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Thinking of you all.....
Kitty...Good luck in your new place..congrats!!!
Patricia....believe in yourself, we certainly believe in you!,,..it's very hard work but you know it's worth it .

Have a great Thursday everyone. Congrats to the milestones...fantastic!!!
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Old 11-12-2015, 03:16 AM
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You got to fight the devil for it. I say all the time..all my worst days sober are a hundred times better than one of those old days drunk! I wouldn't trade it for the world. And this is the feeling and attitude it takes to keep you sober people! You gotta want it as much as you want your next breath! I don't ever want to dance with the devil again. That's how drinking got taken off my table and escorted out of my life. Thank you God!
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Old 11-12-2015, 04:24 PM
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Piled up in bed,
Are a terrible-for-you Baconator cheeseburger. It was deeeelish. I never eat fast food. Ever. That was a treat !
Better not get a blood test tomorrow, though lol.
Sober, thank you God
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Old 11-12-2015, 04:27 PM
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I've been an emotional mess all day. Crying non stop. I can't even look at the pictures of my dad's dog and new puppies without crying. Going to try to meditate before bedtime and see if it helps.
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Old 11-12-2015, 05:25 PM
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Hi all! I did the bad food today too. Went to a grocery store that is closing and everything was 40% off. Spent way way too long in the liquor aisle, perusing the bargains, ack! Didn't buy any liquor, had a mini pity party that i cant enjoy a glass of wine, but got over that, bought some potato chips and snacked away. My bargain bounty included a cinnamon broom which is now giving me a headache, smells so strong.

Patricia, hope you are doing better tomorrow, and get a good night's sleep.
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Old 11-13-2015, 03:48 AM
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Boy those brooms are loud smellers at first. Good though. Get you in holiday spirits.
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Old 11-13-2015, 05:36 AM
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Laughing as I too joined the bad-food-club last night: Ben and Jerry's Cherries Garcia topped with Media Crema. All the sugar and quadruple the fat.

I don't know if it is our culture or just the nature of humans but blaming and complaining is such a constant song in the media and elsewhere. You all are my antidote to this. Thanks to everyone here for your practice of personal responsibility. It helps so much in my own struggle.
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