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Class of August 2015 Part 7

Old 11-16-2015, 09:10 AM
  # 201 (permalink)  
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Good to see you Sadie!
I also had a slip last week. It's weird but this detox feel so much worse than the previous ones! Even the one after a 2 month binge. I guess my body just can't handle it anymore. I'm having the most horrible anxiety. Just like you said, it solidified my commitment to sobriety. I can't go through this again!
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Old 11-16-2015, 11:04 AM
  # 202 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways View Post
Patricia thanks for hanging tough. I am so praying for you.
Thank you Bekindalways They prayers are working. Each day I feel a little better.
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Old 11-16-2015, 12:30 PM
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Thank you everyone for your sympathy. I hope you are all doing well and feeling happy I wish more people would "be kind always" Saturday, I just couldn't shake that horrible feeling of defensive rage & I keep wondering if I should've done something differently ... Some people are just horrible. Be nice friends to yourself and others.

"A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier."~Tom Stoppard
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Old 11-17-2015, 12:39 AM
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Morning guys
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Old 11-17-2015, 02:16 AM
  # 205 (permalink)  
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Just saying a quick hello as I am off to work early today.

Sadie n clown baby, glad to see you are moving on with a commitment to sobriety.
Patricia...glad you are feeling better.

I am very upset , as we all are, about the situation in France. So terrible. Very worried what will be next.? my daughter works in manhattan and takes the train to penn station everyday. I can't help but worry. She said there are police and dogs every where in Penn and police staying on the trains walking up and down the cars. So scary.

Have a safe and sober Tuesday xoxox
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Old 11-17-2015, 03:43 AM
  # 206 (permalink)  
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Starting long day 1 of 4 . Parttime job on day 5.
Lord carry me through sober, pls.
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Old 11-17-2015, 03:44 AM
  # 207 (permalink)  
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Wife has strept. Taking care of her. Feel bad when she's sick.
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Old 11-17-2015, 03:58 AM
  # 208 (permalink)  
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Hope your wife feels better soon JL.
I have faith that you'll find the commitment and strength to stay sober

D
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Old 11-17-2015, 04:41 AM
  # 209 (permalink)  
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Sorry I've been scarce y'all. I moved and now have a house to unpack! Plus no internet is not helping.

I have been sober though. Going on 25 days now. I love when I start to lose track. I have to stay vigilant, I have historically slipped around 30 days. Not this time! It's not been easy, just the other day I was thinking about how lovely a beer buzz would be, but then I play the tape through and think about what an unhealthy choice that is for me. My self-esteem is damaged enough, I know drinking would just perpetuate the damage. And the choices I make when drinking are not congruent with the real me and my real choices. I am so over living that double life.

I wish all of you well, wherever you are in your quit. If you slipped get back up on this horse with me! Been there done that countless times. It's all about getting back up after the fall.
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Old 11-17-2015, 06:56 AM
  # 210 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kittycat3 View Post
And the choices I make when drinking are not congruent with the real me and my real choices. I am so over living that double life.
I love that! So true!

Congrats on 25 days Kitty!
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Old 11-17-2015, 12:11 PM
  # 211 (permalink)  
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Woke up to a sense of shame. This is pretty common. Shame, guilt and anxiety seem to be my default emotions. Ah well. I have learned to personify them, walk with them and consider them teachers and companions.

Eating a bowl of Vietnamese noodles and reading Bill Wilson's meeting with Fr. Ed Dowling. I periodically read the story of this meeting as it is about despair.

Soldier on all. In your fight for sobriety and health you are bringing significant change to our wounded and suffering world. I thank God for every single one of you.
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Old 11-17-2015, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways View Post
Woke up to a sense of shame. This is pretty common. Shame, guilt and anxiety seem to be my default emotions. Ah well. I have learned to personify them, walk with them and consider them teachers and companions.

Eating a bowl of Vietnamese noodles and reading Bill Wilson's meeting with Fr. Ed Dowling. I periodically read the story of this meeting as it is about despair.

Soldier on all. In your fight for sobriety and health you are bringing significant change to our wounded and suffering world. I thank God for every single one of you.
Thank you for your post Bekind. Thankful for you!
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Old 11-17-2015, 04:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways View Post
Woke up to a sense of shame. This is pretty common. Shame, guilt and anxiety seem to be my default emotions. Ah well. I have learned to personify them, walk with them and consider them teachers and companions.
I'm sorry to hear that bekind, but I remember those days.

Work your recovery and you'll soon think of your constant companions in the last tense too

D
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:38 AM
  # 214 (permalink)  
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No breaks.
My wife's so good. She's getting better. She literally stayed up all night with our sick 2 yr old. I simply fall apart and can't do it sometimes. She picks right up and goes sometimes. Day 2. Workin like a dog ! Lol
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Old 11-18-2015, 04:52 AM
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Yes bekind, Dee is right! (Again I woke up today thinking how proud I am for staying strong in a tempting world. I know that feeling of disappointment in my choices all too well....it doesn't come around if I don't drink. (Or smoke cigs - 8 days quit and I still crave them at times real fierce!)

Disappointed to hear about a friend at work that may have started drinking again after a period of sobriety. Let it go, it's not my life or my choices, he has to make his own.

26 days today. A first date tonight but I'm not nervous about telling this one that I don't drink- I guess the last time I did it it went so well I am just not gonna stress this one. Fat lot of good that does me anyway. I suspect it will be a non-event. I just hope I have a good time and that he's a decent and interesting guy

Happy hump day all!
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:02 PM
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Key, where you at? Miss you.

Week is flying by... yaay! So much better than when I could barely hang on minute by minute. Good going on the cigs Kitty!
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Old 11-18-2015, 07:24 PM
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I'm here!! I've been busier at work and home and it keeps me from posting!! Dang it, lol! I'm working through some stuff but I'll be ok. Each day I find something else I need to fix. I'm ok with that too, but I do get a bit overwhelmed with it.
A lot of working on self, relationships too. Trying to figure out how to put my feelings into words people understand. Praying that my HP would help me settle these resentments inside me and be ok to let people go who are toxic to me. Forgiving myself, I thought I had done that, but it keeps popping back up. I've been posting in the "one year and under" thread and writing in my blog trying to purge the extra baggage. I'm tired of carrying this around.
I'm still my bubbly self despite all this! I still try to find positivity in everything. I'm still pushing forward. So that means in doing good! It helps to get it out and share! Thanks Sadie (((HUG)))!!!
How are you??
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Old 11-19-2015, 07:44 AM
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Hey key!! Good on you for letting those toxic people go, or at least creating some space to protect yourself. That's hard stuff isn't it?!

Patricia, Sadie, JL, bekind, Clownbaby, all of you, how are you doing? So quiet around here (and I know I've been scarce too...)

Another day yesterday sober and smoke free. Date was fun, he's an interesting dude. May not feel any spark, not sure, but was still a good time. He had 1 beer, nothing much happened when I said I didn't drink, another difficult moment came and went without fanfare
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Old 11-19-2015, 08:40 AM
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Kitty, Glad you had a good date!. Yeah, too quiet around here. BBG, Retread how u doin too?
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Old 11-19-2015, 08:48 AM
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Good stuff Kitty!

I'm really struggling with anxiety right now. It's getting really tough at times. But I keep fighting
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