Class of April 2015 Part 9
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
This weekend it's my birthday and I spent some time today reflecting on what a difference a year makes. By this time last year, my day drinking took over my non working life. My weekends consisted of punching out, mixing a drink in my car for the ride home, and then continually drinking until I passed out. Upon waking, I started right up drinking again until I passed out. On and on and on. Life was just a daily slog until I could start drinking again. I lost my passion for everything except booze. I truly am grateful for the chance to begin living life again that quitting drinking has afforded me. Thanks to everyone here for their support!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
I have had some really great days here. Working hard and slogging through my mountains of paper work, getting some great workouts in and eating properly thus tons of energy to keep on going! Last night I was thinking of my drinking days....if I had one good productive day I would think I was on the world and celebrate with a bottle or two of wine until I passed out, and the waste an entire day or two with a killer hangover. Now that I don't feel the need to celebrate what are now becoming normal days, I just go tho bed happy, wake up happy, and repeat! Its simply crazy how complicated my life was with alcohol in the mix.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
OMD, can't recall, are you in Australia? Is that why everyone is drinking water because its do darn hot there now? We are absolutely in a deep freeze now, minus 35 tonight! Ridiculous that we didn't win the lottery, otherwise I'd pick up the family and the dog and move to the equator, or south of it!
Inc, you post made me laugh tonight, thanks. Well, lights out here now, going to bed happy once again. Night folks!
Inc, you post made me laugh tonight, thanks. Well, lights out here now, going to bed happy once again. Night folks!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Happy Birthday SG! So much to celebrate this year!
My observation about people drinking water was because I saw booze free January seemed to be catching on! Anyone and everyone who I tell I haven't drunk for a while tells me not to start drinking again. Interesting how so many people are having a daily struggle, even if it's not so obvious.
I really cannot see any benefit to drinking any more. Even the social side is now fine. I just leave before the car crash and everyone turns into a grim caricature. I have some great fitness goals for 2016 and I can already tell you my body does so much better without alcohol. I think I have got younger by 10 years, seriously. I hit 20 miles on the bike very early this morning for example. Feel absolutely fine.
Have a great weekend!
OMD
My observation about people drinking water was because I saw booze free January seemed to be catching on! Anyone and everyone who I tell I haven't drunk for a while tells me not to start drinking again. Interesting how so many people are having a daily struggle, even if it's not so obvious.
I really cannot see any benefit to drinking any more. Even the social side is now fine. I just leave before the car crash and everyone turns into a grim caricature. I have some great fitness goals for 2016 and I can already tell you my body does so much better without alcohol. I think I have got younger by 10 years, seriously. I hit 20 miles on the bike very early this morning for example. Feel absolutely fine.
Have a great weekend!
OMD
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Hope you had an awesome Bday SG! Thought I posted Sat morning, but looks like I didn't send.
There are soo many things to be thankful for. That's awesome that you appreciate them as much as you do.
I saw Star Wars with my son over the weekend. I was thankful that I snuck in a bottle of Pepsi instead of a bottle of vodka.
Just the thought of sneaking in vodka made me mad. Almost sick. That I would have wasted that precious time with my son like that in the past. That I would worry about him drinking my drink by accident or that the person on my other side would smell it. IDK who I was kidding though....I had to smell.
We have the rest of our lives to create great memories!
On the smoking / dipping front, I'm doing good. I stopped the BS taper program. You were right OMD...I was kidding myself. Just stretching WD's out and fighting craves all the time. Crap...I might as well get it over with!
I joined a support group like this one for dipping. It's called Kill The Can. I had done it before. Quit for over a year then caved. That group is different in that they are really hard on cavers. Like they anal rape you for it. It's not about posting up an update, it's about posting a promise to your brothers.
I had a lot of explaining to do upon my return. I thought briefly about changing my name/avatar then joining. But quickly decided it's best for me to be truthful. Lying to myself and others got me nowhere. It's a huge character flaw that I've been working on.
My quit is stronger this time. My passion for maintaining that quit is impenetrable. Largely due to my experience this past year. I NEVER want to return to who I was.
It's been fairly easy so far. The WD symptoms are not as bad as alcohol. The main difference is that alcohol is more in your face and intense. Nicotine has the same WD's for me; depression, anxiety, sleep issues, motivation, focus, but they are not as intensive. They just stretch out for a longer time period. I can expect dealing with WD symptoms for a month or more.
I don't always quit, but when I do, I quit like a mofo!
There are soo many things to be thankful for. That's awesome that you appreciate them as much as you do.
I saw Star Wars with my son over the weekend. I was thankful that I snuck in a bottle of Pepsi instead of a bottle of vodka.
Just the thought of sneaking in vodka made me mad. Almost sick. That I would have wasted that precious time with my son like that in the past. That I would worry about him drinking my drink by accident or that the person on my other side would smell it. IDK who I was kidding though....I had to smell.
We have the rest of our lives to create great memories!
On the smoking / dipping front, I'm doing good. I stopped the BS taper program. You were right OMD...I was kidding myself. Just stretching WD's out and fighting craves all the time. Crap...I might as well get it over with!
I joined a support group like this one for dipping. It's called Kill The Can. I had done it before. Quit for over a year then caved. That group is different in that they are really hard on cavers. Like they anal rape you for it. It's not about posting up an update, it's about posting a promise to your brothers.
I had a lot of explaining to do upon my return. I thought briefly about changing my name/avatar then joining. But quickly decided it's best for me to be truthful. Lying to myself and others got me nowhere. It's a huge character flaw that I've been working on.
My quit is stronger this time. My passion for maintaining that quit is impenetrable. Largely due to my experience this past year. I NEVER want to return to who I was.
It's been fairly easy so far. The WD symptoms are not as bad as alcohol. The main difference is that alcohol is more in your face and intense. Nicotine has the same WD's for me; depression, anxiety, sleep issues, motivation, focus, but they are not as intensive. They just stretch out for a longer time period. I can expect dealing with WD symptoms for a month or more.
I don't always quit, but when I do, I quit like a mofo!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Right on Inc! I need to recommit to quitting again. I went 6 days with no smoking. Then I was cleaning up the counter, moved something and low and behold, I saw a little cigarette just lying there. Like a true addict, I didn't think twice and popped it in my mouth and head outside for a puff. The next day I bought a pack. AUGH! I did a HIIT workout this morning, and my lungs are sore. I have to quit.
I remember in early recovery my husband for some stupid lamebrain reason decided that having a couple bottles of red wine in the house was a good idea, just in case we had company! Whaaat? I remember having a total panic attack, pacing, fighting that AV. I ended up take the bottles out of the house and snuggled with my son watching a movie with SG on my tablet not too far away. I made it through that night, so why couldn't I be that strong about the cigarette?
My son is home with me today, I kept him out of school because he is a walking germ ball. Poor kid, hoping he gets better soon. A little tender loving care and he should be well in no time.
PS: happy birthday SG! I thought I sent you well wishes this weekend!
I remember in early recovery my husband for some stupid lamebrain reason decided that having a couple bottles of red wine in the house was a good idea, just in case we had company! Whaaat? I remember having a total panic attack, pacing, fighting that AV. I ended up take the bottles out of the house and snuggled with my son watching a movie with SG on my tablet not too far away. I made it through that night, so why couldn't I be that strong about the cigarette?
My son is home with me today, I kept him out of school because he is a walking germ ball. Poor kid, hoping he gets better soon. A little tender loving care and he should be well in no time.
PS: happy birthday SG! I thought I sent you well wishes this weekend!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
I remember the day your hubby brought in those bottles. That was difficult.
Nicotine is a bitch. A few things that makes it harder to quit:
- The negatives of smoking aren't as bad. Sure...there's death....eventually. But drinking is far more destructive on the road to death.
- The cravings are more intense and the WD's stretch out longer. Leading to a point where you say "screw it"
- The benefits of not smoking aren't as immediate to see. When i quit drinking, I noticed a HUGE difference with my anxiety in just a couple days. That gave me motivation to push forward.
HIIT training...that's awesome. That's a GREAT way to see the benefits right away. Quit then log your progress so you'll not only feel the benefits, but you'll see a huge improvement in your endurance.
I am planning on HIIT training. Yup. Been in the planning stages for a couple weeks now. Today, I brought it up with my fiance. She's good for that and between the two of us, we'll go this week. It's just a matter of making myself go a few times before I WANT to go.
And you know the story...there's no better time than right now. Not when the pack is empty, or next week, or on a quit date for that matter. But you have to want to quit. NOt that I'm one to lecture...not that I am lecturing..just putting in front of you something you already know. OMD was good for that. He gave me pleasant pokes to remind me that quitting smoking will change my world.
Something I did learn through my failed taper program I was on was mindfulness. For every cog you smoke going forward, pay real attention to what you are doing. The program taught me to do the following:
- Hold the cig. Feel the weight. Look at it. Notice the tobacco at one end and the filter at the other. See the details on the paper. Smell it.
- Hold the lighter. Feel the weight of it. Notice any printing. Flick it and listen to the sound it makes.
- Llight your cig. Take a drag and feel the heat enter your mouth then your lungs. Exhale and look at the smoke leaving your lungs. Notice the smell. pay attention to how the smoke feels entering and leaving your body.
- Pay attention to how your body responds so quickly to the nicotine. How is your body responding? Increased heart rate? Etc.
- For every drag you take, look at the cig then put to your mouth. Notice how every drag is making you feel. Notice how you feel when you put it out. Notice how you feel when your done.
Keep doing that. Write a reminder on your pack: MINDFULNESS. Do that every single time.
Addiction sucks. Let's be free from all addictions!
Nicotine is a bitch. A few things that makes it harder to quit:
- The negatives of smoking aren't as bad. Sure...there's death....eventually. But drinking is far more destructive on the road to death.
- The cravings are more intense and the WD's stretch out longer. Leading to a point where you say "screw it"
- The benefits of not smoking aren't as immediate to see. When i quit drinking, I noticed a HUGE difference with my anxiety in just a couple days. That gave me motivation to push forward.
HIIT training...that's awesome. That's a GREAT way to see the benefits right away. Quit then log your progress so you'll not only feel the benefits, but you'll see a huge improvement in your endurance.
I am planning on HIIT training. Yup. Been in the planning stages for a couple weeks now. Today, I brought it up with my fiance. She's good for that and between the two of us, we'll go this week. It's just a matter of making myself go a few times before I WANT to go.
And you know the story...there's no better time than right now. Not when the pack is empty, or next week, or on a quit date for that matter. But you have to want to quit. NOt that I'm one to lecture...not that I am lecturing..just putting in front of you something you already know. OMD was good for that. He gave me pleasant pokes to remind me that quitting smoking will change my world.
Something I did learn through my failed taper program I was on was mindfulness. For every cog you smoke going forward, pay real attention to what you are doing. The program taught me to do the following:
- Hold the cig. Feel the weight. Look at it. Notice the tobacco at one end and the filter at the other. See the details on the paper. Smell it.
- Hold the lighter. Feel the weight of it. Notice any printing. Flick it and listen to the sound it makes.
- Llight your cig. Take a drag and feel the heat enter your mouth then your lungs. Exhale and look at the smoke leaving your lungs. Notice the smell. pay attention to how the smoke feels entering and leaving your body.
- Pay attention to how your body responds so quickly to the nicotine. How is your body responding? Increased heart rate? Etc.
- For every drag you take, look at the cig then put to your mouth. Notice how every drag is making you feel. Notice how you feel when you put it out. Notice how you feel when your done.
Keep doing that. Write a reminder on your pack: MINDFULNESS. Do that every single time.
Addiction sucks. Let's be free from all addictions!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Good luck Inc and Cauli on the second quitting front. I know you guys can do it!
Thanks again everyone for your kind birthday wishes. I had an awesome sober time for the first time in probably 35 years!
Thanks again everyone for your kind birthday wishes. I had an awesome sober time for the first time in probably 35 years!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey guys! Just touching base! I'm preparing for a trip to Amsterdam next weekend. We're surprising my mum. She just knows she's taking a trip to Amsterdam with my sister. What she doesn't know is that I'll be flying in from Spain and my other brother from London to join the party. We're taking her to a Rodriguez concert. She's loved that singer since she saw the incredible Searching for Sugarman documentary (if you haven't seen it, get on it!).
Although there is a serious drinking culture ingrained in my family, I don't feel concerned about the trip. On the other hand I don't want to be tripped up by over confidence so I shall make my preparations just in case.
Feeling happily sober and enjoying life! Love to all!!
Although there is a serious drinking culture ingrained in my family, I don't feel concerned about the trip. On the other hand I don't want to be tripped up by over confidence so I shall make my preparations just in case.
Feeling happily sober and enjoying life! Love to all!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 167
Hey everyone. My sobriety date is April 18 2015 so I thought I would join this group. Just had 9 months yesterday which I truly cannot believe!!! Most days are good and I dont think about drinking and then unexpectedly I start to have cravings and thoughts about missing/having fun drinking.. Overall Im very grateful to be sober and I think that having a support system is extremely important and there is some great advice at SR so here I am!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Well damn! Welcome!!
Serious congrats on 9months.
I have a long history of addiction and abuse with pot and pain pills mostly. I've messed with bath salts and synthetic weed too.
I quit everything, including nicotine in 2012 but never stopped drinking. I was drinking a couple beers or more daily after work it thought that was normal. I got buzzed pretty good every weekend.
With no other avenue, my addiction put all its focus on alcohol. Beer turned to liquor. As SG (Star Gazer) stated perfectly the other day, the only passion I had was drinking.
I lost interest in my family. Cheated on my wife and didn't try to reconcile. I left.
Got fired from my job because I was taking short cuts and lied on reporting. Multiple times.
I then became an all day drunk. I spent my entire 401K and made myself bankrupt.
I had completely given up on life. Had suicidal thoughts. Was drinking sometimes in the middle of the night to fight of panic attacks.
On 4/18 I posted a 24hr promise after lurking here for a long time. My post didn't go through. It was a long one. I got mad and I drank.
On 4/20 (yup...pot is my DOC), I posted a promise, successfully, to be sober for 24hrs.
I had no idea what I was in for. I posted one day at a time. It was pure hell. But thanks to the fine people here at SR, I survived it.
Come to find out, alcohol was a major source of my depression. Looking back, it was causing issues even when I thought I was drinking normally.
I am eternally grateful for SR. There's so much valuable information here and so many awesome people. You and I are blessed, because the MOST AWESOME people are right here in this group or at least swing by once in a while.
You are sooo smart to join up even after 9months. The past 9 months mean nothing compared to the importance of being sober TODAY.
THANK YOU for joining! I need to be surrounded with a safety blanket of quitters. That's just who I am. I cannot do this alone or expect to stay sober without a daily reminder that I am an addict!
I'm 49, live in Ohio, USA. have a new job, an awesome GF, and two boys that I love to death. And I have a yellow lab mix that has the most beautiful soul that God has dished out
I AM AN ADDICT.
Serious congrats on 9months.
I have a long history of addiction and abuse with pot and pain pills mostly. I've messed with bath salts and synthetic weed too.
I quit everything, including nicotine in 2012 but never stopped drinking. I was drinking a couple beers or more daily after work it thought that was normal. I got buzzed pretty good every weekend.
With no other avenue, my addiction put all its focus on alcohol. Beer turned to liquor. As SG (Star Gazer) stated perfectly the other day, the only passion I had was drinking.
I lost interest in my family. Cheated on my wife and didn't try to reconcile. I left.
Got fired from my job because I was taking short cuts and lied on reporting. Multiple times.
I then became an all day drunk. I spent my entire 401K and made myself bankrupt.
I had completely given up on life. Had suicidal thoughts. Was drinking sometimes in the middle of the night to fight of panic attacks.
On 4/18 I posted a 24hr promise after lurking here for a long time. My post didn't go through. It was a long one. I got mad and I drank.
On 4/20 (yup...pot is my DOC), I posted a promise, successfully, to be sober for 24hrs.
I had no idea what I was in for. I posted one day at a time. It was pure hell. But thanks to the fine people here at SR, I survived it.
Come to find out, alcohol was a major source of my depression. Looking back, it was causing issues even when I thought I was drinking normally.
I am eternally grateful for SR. There's so much valuable information here and so many awesome people. You and I are blessed, because the MOST AWESOME people are right here in this group or at least swing by once in a while.
You are sooo smart to join up even after 9months. The past 9 months mean nothing compared to the importance of being sober TODAY.
THANK YOU for joining! I need to be surrounded with a safety blanket of quitters. That's just who I am. I cannot do this alone or expect to stay sober without a daily reminder that I am an addict!
I'm 49, live in Ohio, USA. have a new job, an awesome GF, and two boys that I love to death. And I have a yellow lab mix that has the most beautiful soul that God has dished out
I AM AN ADDICT.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Welcome ILD and many congratulations on 9 months!! Inc summed it up nicely (as usual). Great people on here, we have done this together and we all value tremendously each other and the opportunity to regain our lives.
Amp, nice to see you're doing well! Amsterdam is a great city. What a fantastic surprise that will be!
At the weekend I finally did something on my house I had been meaning to do for 8 years (no guesses why not). 8 years!!! So I am finally getting my sh&t together, maybe. Anyway, it was worth the wait, looks great!
None for me today. There is no reason to.
Best wishes
OMD
Amp, nice to see you're doing well! Amsterdam is a great city. What a fantastic surprise that will be!
At the weekend I finally did something on my house I had been meaning to do for 8 years (no guesses why not). 8 years!!! So I am finally getting my sh&t together, maybe. Anyway, it was worth the wait, looks great!
None for me today. There is no reason to.
Best wishes
OMD
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey ILD! Great to have a new member in our group! Hearty congratulations on 9 months!! No mean feet!
It's 10pm here so exactly 9 months ago to the minute I was downing my last couple of beers on a Sunday night, trying to pretend I wasn't wasted after drinking through the day and trying to figure out a way out of the hell I was in.
The next morning I made myself run along the beach way out of the town where I live and, looking at the surf, I made a promise to change.
I'd made that promise a hundred times before, but I can tell you that the people in this group made it work for me this time. No way I could have done it alone.
I do occasionally get that thing about how nice it would be to have a drink, but just going through a couple of my more cringe-worthy stories quickly reminds me that that's not for me!!!
Anyway, welcome ILD! So glad to have you on the team!!
It's 10pm here so exactly 9 months ago to the minute I was downing my last couple of beers on a Sunday night, trying to pretend I wasn't wasted after drinking through the day and trying to figure out a way out of the hell I was in.
The next morning I made myself run along the beach way out of the town where I live and, looking at the surf, I made a promise to change.
I'd made that promise a hundred times before, but I can tell you that the people in this group made it work for me this time. No way I could have done it alone.
I do occasionally get that thing about how nice it would be to have a drink, but just going through a couple of my more cringe-worthy stories quickly reminds me that that's not for me!!!
Anyway, welcome ILD! So glad to have you on the team!!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Welcome, ILD!
I too stumbled upon this thread after four months of sobriety with little other outside support besides the Rational Recovery website and a handful of books. Jump aboard!
I am 55 and live in Pennsylvania. I drank daily for 33 years officially and almost daily well before that. I had been drinking a half gallon of rum, a box of wine and most of a case of beer each week. That was just me drinking alone at home. That didn't include going out with friends drinking. I was just highly functioning enough not to begin drinking at or before work. Amazingly, I did not think until the last year or so that I was anything but a normal drinker and had things under control.
I carried a bottle of rum in my car and poured a drink most days for the ride home. I started drinking in the mornings on days off before having a cup of coffee. I kept promising myself I wouldn't drink before noon, or before 10:00, or even before breakfast, only to constantly fail. I had totally bottomed out. Depression was crushing me, and it turned out that it was mostly caused by alcohol. Here I was trying to drink myself happy and I was just burying myself further. I had totally lost control.
In desperation, I decided I had to quit. April 17th was ground zero for my sobriety. There have been ups and downs for all of us, but somehow a core group of us here have made it through nine months sober. I think I can speak for everyone here and state that not drinking anymore has given all of us a second shot at life, a chance to be a better parent, spouse or friend to those who care about us. For me, it is about not getting up every morning judging how bad of a hangover I will have that day. Not forgetting entire evenings worth of conversations. Not looking at my phone to see who I had to apologize to for drunk texting or calling. Not to have to make excuses to my wife why I couldn't pick the kids up at school because I had been drinking all day. Not to avoid my kids because I couldn't string three words together.
At nine months, I am really starting to get it together. I feel a zest for life for the first time in decades. My depression is virtually gone. I have reconnected with my family. Life is good and I don't ever want to go back.
As others have mentioned, coming here is a great reality check. It is pretty amazing that all of us have kind of gone through the same things at the same time during our recoveries. SR helps us to remember not to take anything for granted. We, and I am sure you also, have worked too hard to get to this special place!
I too stumbled upon this thread after four months of sobriety with little other outside support besides the Rational Recovery website and a handful of books. Jump aboard!
I am 55 and live in Pennsylvania. I drank daily for 33 years officially and almost daily well before that. I had been drinking a half gallon of rum, a box of wine and most of a case of beer each week. That was just me drinking alone at home. That didn't include going out with friends drinking. I was just highly functioning enough not to begin drinking at or before work. Amazingly, I did not think until the last year or so that I was anything but a normal drinker and had things under control.
I carried a bottle of rum in my car and poured a drink most days for the ride home. I started drinking in the mornings on days off before having a cup of coffee. I kept promising myself I wouldn't drink before noon, or before 10:00, or even before breakfast, only to constantly fail. I had totally bottomed out. Depression was crushing me, and it turned out that it was mostly caused by alcohol. Here I was trying to drink myself happy and I was just burying myself further. I had totally lost control.
In desperation, I decided I had to quit. April 17th was ground zero for my sobriety. There have been ups and downs for all of us, but somehow a core group of us here have made it through nine months sober. I think I can speak for everyone here and state that not drinking anymore has given all of us a second shot at life, a chance to be a better parent, spouse or friend to those who care about us. For me, it is about not getting up every morning judging how bad of a hangover I will have that day. Not forgetting entire evenings worth of conversations. Not looking at my phone to see who I had to apologize to for drunk texting or calling. Not to have to make excuses to my wife why I couldn't pick the kids up at school because I had been drinking all day. Not to avoid my kids because I couldn't string three words together.
At nine months, I am really starting to get it together. I feel a zest for life for the first time in decades. My depression is virtually gone. I have reconnected with my family. Life is good and I don't ever want to go back.
As others have mentioned, coming here is a great reality check. It is pretty amazing that all of us have kind of gone through the same things at the same time during our recoveries. SR helps us to remember not to take anything for granted. We, and I am sure you also, have worked too hard to get to this special place!
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