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Class of April 2015 Part 9

Old 10-26-2015, 01:57 AM
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Congratulations OMD! Achieving sporting goals can be immensely fulfilling.

I've had family visiting since Thursday. I always thought my brother was a big drinker but he probably only was with me! I look at people drinking. Having one or two glasses and being satisfied with that. That is why I can't drink! Although I still kind of miss the good wine with the meal or the cold beer by the beach it is just such a bad idea for me. On Saturday night when they drank a bit more my brother looked worse for wear on Sunday morning. I don't miss that. No nice flavour or buzz is worth trading what I've got. What I've earned. We have earned the right to hangover free days and peace of mind! Let's make sure we enjoy it!

Have a great Monday!!
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Old 10-26-2015, 05:17 AM
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I'm glad you are getting back at it OMD!
Amp, good to see that you can still laugh at/with your family sober.

Kim, congrats on two week!

Congrats on hitting 50, Midton! Remember to post here and elsewhere even if you don't think you have anything major to say. It helps me to stay connected to sobriety.

Angie, glad you are feeling better!

Humpday for me this morning. We are installing a new credit card system at work today. I am certain that everything will go smoothly and our customers will not stare at the credit card dumbfounded all day long. Like that is going to happen!

Have a great day everyone!
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Old 10-26-2015, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by SwimKim12 View Post
Hi, All. Glad to hear you all are well! I'm having a relaxing (i.e. lazy) weekend and it is wonderful. I hear from the AV now and again and just play the tape through. Not going to happen! Two weeks sober today and I feel like I'm coming out of the funk that started in August.

Have a great one, everybody!
I am so happy for you Kim! It's an amazing feeling, isn't it. Just keep plugging in and stay focused on the darn AV. You will eventually bounce back, it does take time. But, surprising to me was that it happens quickly and seems like one day you wake up happier then you've been in years. xo
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Old 10-26-2015, 07:17 AM
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Happy Monday. Today will be a good productive day for me, because I am not hungover! I had stress free weekend. My son's hockey team won the big trophy in the tournament they were entered in, and he was the player of the game! He didn't score the winning goal, but he was a team player, and he made some awesome passes and assisted in a great goal. I did some light house work, and watched the Believe marathon on OWN yesterday. It was fascinating.

Happy 50th Midton, is it 50 days or 50 years? Either way, 50 is a great
number!

I too am amazed at how little people actually do drink. I could never stop at one or two drinks. It's that realization that keeps me sober. I actually had two drinking dreams this weekend. The first one I drank a glass of wine, and it wasn't until the glass was empty was when I realized that I was a non-drinker and shouldn't have drank it. In my dream I followed up with a vodka shooter. I was relieved when I woke up and realized it was just a dream. The second dream I drank a can of beer with my uncles. I had no remorse, and no thoughts of regret, it was like I never quit. It just makes me dig my heels in a little deeper with greater resolve that I cannot put my guard down. I am happily sober and will not go back to the nightmare.
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Old 10-26-2015, 12:52 PM
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Happy Monday from me too!
In between jobs.

Just one thought...
It's crazy to think that a drink right now would be a good idea. Not just because of my sobriety. Just the fact that I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger. No idea how I survived as an all day drinker!

Oh wait. I didn't.
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Old 10-26-2015, 01:38 PM
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Thanks guys! Lol @ Inc! Kim you're going great guns. Just put one day in front of another. Bingo! Cauliflower, sounds like you had a lovely weekend

SG is bang on when he says posting here keeps you connected with sobriety. Plus, you all seem like quite nice people so I might stick around a while longer

I have posted before that my wife has 3 glasses of wine a week, no more, no less. She throws the rest of the bottle away and starts a new one each week. It's not even worth thinking I can do that. So let's not even go there. Besides which, I don't even want to. Why? I would not be comparing a few drinks versus none. I would be comparing how I was versus how I am today, I'll take today's version please.

None for me today because I am looking forward to waking up sober tomorrow.

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Old 10-26-2015, 06:31 PM
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Yeah...those who can drink like that...

I used to be frustrated with that. Mostly because I wish I was that way. But in reality, for me at least, I drank to feel good. And I've come to understand that I can't feel that good all the time.

If I find something that makes me relaxed or have fun, I want to do it all the time. I just need(ed) to learn how to do that without alcohol or drugs (illegal). The fact still remains....if I have "fun" or relax with a drink, I'll want that feeling more and more.

But back to topic. Kinda didn't get far off it I guess. It's no different than soda. I quit that too. But I do treat myself to one once in a while. Especially a good root beer, or when I go out on a nice dinner. It's funny...I get excited when info out to eat because 1. I'm going out to eat!! 2. I get to have a diet coke!

Crazy. Of course before it was all about the alcohol. Even where I went to eat was determined by how good their Long Island Iced Tea was!

Point is...I don't treat diet coke like I did alcohol. I enjoy it every once in a while. Social events, eating out, rewards. But I never have to have it.
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Old 10-26-2015, 07:16 PM
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I never wasted wine...ever.
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Old 10-26-2015, 07:36 PM
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Lol.

Sorry. But....lol.

So true.
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Old 10-26-2015, 08:54 PM
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A few years back when I was a "functioning" alcoholic, I would drink 3/4 of a bottle of wine on a weeknight. I always made sure I stopped short of finishing the whole bottle, because that would be, ugh, bad and would mean I had a problem. I remember drinking 9/10 of the bottle and stopping short of finishing. Then what did I do the next morning once I awoke hungover? Pour the rest out. Swear I wouldn't drink that night. And then as the day progressed...why yes, wine started sounding good again. Blah! Don't miss that.

Today on the train home there was a kid who got on and came over to sit by me. Wreaked of hard alcohol. Must have been early 20's. He was pretty tipsy and half had his face in his hands and was half trying to sit up straight without rocking. He tried hitting on me and I told him I was working and wasn't interested. He kind of shrugged it off. Then kept rocking back and forth and looked like he was going to puke (luckily he didn't). It almost made me sick to my stomach to remember what he was feeling. I was sad for him, and sad for anyone that gets smashed on a Monday afternoon and ends up alone on a train.

Just grateful to be sober today and not have to suffer the anxiety caused by "I want to drink more but I will need to wake up for work in the morning...but I want to drink more" or the nausea and dizziness caused by drinking more and more and more and ending up alone.
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Old 10-27-2015, 01:35 AM
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Happy 6 months Cauliflower!
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Old 10-27-2015, 01:52 AM
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Just been catching up on yesterday's posts. Really interesting stuff. My brother said to me that he was sorry I wasn't drinking because he'd bought some of those big magnum bottles of wine for Christmas and it wasn't going to be worth opening them if I wasn't going to drink with him (our family these days is quite small and only he and I used to properly indulge). He asked about whether maybe I could make an exception at Christmas.

Funny how ignorant people can be. If your brother tells you they quit drinking and their reasons, why would you think it was a good idea to try to convince them to make exceptions and talk about the great wine you bought? I think he misses drinking with me...

Anyway, the point is that I think that if I ever started making "exceptions" I would probably last 3 days before I was sneaking drinks on the side and destroying everything I've worked so hard for the last 6 months. I just like myself more now. Why would I mess with that?
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:12 AM
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Amp, you make some great points. I have had friends say the same thing to me. Let's just drink tonight! They don't understand...

It is hard to believe that many of us are now six months alcohol free. Yet, six months not drinking really has not put much of a cushion from addiction in my life. If I was recovering from mono, or a broken bone even, six months distance from the disease or injury is huge. Six months not drinking does not provide the same cushion. Sure, we have all developed coping strategies and like ourselves better as sober individuals. But I realize that, I too, am one drink away from becoming the drink all day person I once was. I am realizing that there is no "cure" from my addiction. The neural pathways in my brain are permanently in the "on" position for alcohol.
If it were not for reading and posting here daily, I know with almost absolute certainty that I would have convinced myself to try the moderate drinking routine yet again. It's getting darker and colder here, work is crazy, my SAD is nipping at my heels and my family life is chaotically busy. After six months, my AV is subtly suggesting life would be better with a drink in my hand.

Six months sober can seem like six days sober.

One day at a time...

Have a great day everyone!
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Old 10-27-2015, 06:19 AM
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I know what you mean SG. Sometimes six months feels like a long time and others it might as well be 6 days. A lot of us are probably quite impulsive people (comes with the territory) and we are learning to curb the drink impulse.

For me the big difference is this:
At a week I was not ok
At a month I was OK some of the time.
At 2 months I was OK maybe half the time .
Now I'm OK most of the time and when I'm not I can ride it out pretty well.

In a way you can think that you are always on the edge, one drink away from oblivion but in reality that choice has always been there. Walking on a cliff you are one step from the void. Driving your car...

We need to get drinking onto that list of crazy things you would never do because they'd be likely to kill you.

It's a bit weird, maybe, but I treat my problem as if I were allergic to alcohol. I have a friend who is really allergic to nuts and if he eats one it could kill him. I treat alcohol in the way he treats nuts. It's just really dangerous and poisonous to me. I have found this out and now I am recovering!

Not sure if that makes any sense at all, but it helps me...
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Old 10-27-2015, 06:48 AM
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Hi all. I'm 6 months sober today. Hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for all your support and kindness. This is such a great group. Have a wonderful day.
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Old 10-27-2015, 06:49 AM
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Welcome to the club Angie! Really happy for you!
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Old 10-27-2015, 08:05 AM
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Yay Angie! That is freaking awesome, celebrate today, 6 months is huge.

Amp, SG, I understand exactly what you are getting at. It was the subtle realization that I am one drink away from my previous guilt filled life that keeps me sober. I can't go there, I just can't. So I won't.

SG, play some music! It will get your heart pumping and you just may find yourself dancing away the blues.

I stumbled upon a local radio station last month, it plays Christian music. I am not christian, but I tuned in to the music because 1)christian rock is actually pretty good. 2)It not gospel, not "churchy" in anyway 3)The message from every single song is POSITIVE! There is a whole genre of amazingly talented artists out there . I now listen to The Message on sirius satelite radio at home.

I posted about this song yesterday in other threads, and I just absolutely love it! I was dancing around my living room yesterday listening to this, and the words just jumped out at me and it brought me to tears. It's my theme song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQqZltmA0eM
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Old 10-27-2015, 08:44 AM
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Congratulations, Angie! you are doing an amazing job. Keep it up!
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:13 PM
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Congrats Angie! You rock!
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Old 10-27-2015, 03:46 PM
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Congratulations fellow 6 monthers!!

I think the tipping point comes when you don't ever think that drinking makes any sense, but not because it would lead to drinking more, but just because it doesn't make sense. On any level. What do I mean? We have decided to stop because the bad outweighs the good. Now, if no one else at all around us (ie society at large) was drinking we would quickly realise shamefully what a stupid thing we had been doing and simply move on with our alcohol-free lives like everyone else. Let's face it, none of us has withdrawal symptoms, or any kind of physical impairment because of an absence of alcohol. In fact it's the contrary, so in that scenario normal service would be resumed and we would be back to participating in society in the same way as everyone else.

But we can't just move on so easily because we are stuck in this completely distorted 'reality' concerning alcohol and so-called benefits. Because so many people have it as part of their lives and our societies now almost seem to depend on it at least in part to function, even having escaped we are still surrounded by it, one way or another, on a daily basis. Until we consciously or subconsciously stop yearning for alcohol we won't be free. But, the good news is that we can all be free, and immediately, if we choose to be. We just need to understand the big picture. I know this to be true because of my experience of going from never being without a cigarette to truly never being in want of a cigarette.

So, it seems to me that time will ultimately lead us to complete our understanding of the truth concerning alcohol. How long it takes is up to us.

Best wishes
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