Olivia2011

Amp u mentioned a good movie. Was it Begin Again or something like that? I asked my son to try to download it on his PS4. Any major actors in it! Thanks. Looking for good movies!

Merry Christmas

Olivia

amp123

Yes, Begin Again starring Keira Knightly.

Olivia2011

Thanks Amp!

OMD

I think it's important to be prepared to reflect on the time we have all wasted and things we have all done that we regret, and not to try specifically to avoid it. It may be upsetting but when I failed to confront my past I carried on drinking. I finally confronted my past (and continue to), tried to forgive myself and tried to move on to a better place. Life is complicated and there are many reasons why we have done what we have done, but it's important that we try to see things clearly. I was recently quite nostalgic about certain aspects of drinking that I later realised were completely unconnected with the act of drinking. Friends that are good friends are good friends without booze. Drinking buddies were an excuse to get drunk. A beautiful sunset on a warm beach does not require alcohol to appreciate. We can't change what we've done but we still have the opportunity to appreciate what we still have.

OMD

Angie247

Just want to say hi and hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. You all mean a lot to me. We are going to see my family for two weeks in less than a week and I'm very excited.

stargazer016

Hi Angie!

Glad to see you are moving forward in a positive direction. Enjoy time with your family!

stargazer016

I had just written a Shakespearean reply to your response, only to have SR crash and lose it it entirely. Oh well...

We have indeed wasted a lot of our lives drinking. For me, it was not a matter of weeks, months or even years, but decades. I now accept that part of my life for what it was, but have moved forward. Now, I try to live each day, each moment, for what it is and to the fullest. Even if I live to a hundred, more that half of my life would have had me playing the part of a drunken fool in a booze laden script. It is necessary to look back and reflect on our pasts,I believe, in order to more fully appreciate and make the most of our todays and tomorrows moving forward. Our past history is just a snapshot of time, a way of thinking that once defined us but no longer does. I feel it is important to look back, remember and be grateful, but not to dwell upon the past. Life continues to happen each moment and we need to make the most of it.

I too used to think that everything was better with booze. I could only really enjoy that sunset, group of friends, movie or whatever if I was drinking. I guess it shows how firmly the AV was in control and directing our lives every moment. Scary to think about how locked into pleasing our AV we all were each and every moment.

Christmas is the last major holiday that we will experience sober for the first time. At least in the US, Christmas is a strange holiday, in that even normies break out the booze early and often and give everyone booze as gifts. I am thankful to be enjoying this holiday sober. Like Amp had said, we have experienced a change in our thinking. Not drinking is now our" new normal." We are not thinking that we are just drunks who are trying to stop for a bit. It is liberating to realize booze free is our new normal, and ultimately, it is the best Christmas gift any of us could possibly hope for this year!

Incontrol15

After years of solidifying habits, engraining routines, and developing automatic reactions to what life throws at us, you'd think it would take longer to overcome them. I am so incredibly thankful for that.

I never, in my wildest dreams, would have thought in just a couple months my thought processes, beliefs, and attitude would do a 180.

I'm going to look hard at this new year. Over the past several years, I have not bothered with New Years resolutions. I had a poor attitude that what ever resolution I set was going to be broken anyway, so why bother.

I did have a resolution for 2015 of taking control of my life. I set out to put "in control" in front of me to serve as a reminder. Obviously my SR name, but there are others as well. That was the first resolution that I made and followed through with in over a decade.

I'm going to take the same approach this coming year. Basically my goal will be to achieve them in the new year. Not on the 1st of the year, but somewhat early in the year.

amp123

Congrats on 8 months, Inc

Viperidae

I've learned that instead of fighting off the demons of the past or trying to keep them in a cage, it's better to accept them, even befriend them (or come to a detente with them).

I'll tell ya, I'm on the beach sober, in the day, and I walk it at night. The waves crash in, and there isn't anyone around for miles. The moon lights it brightly and my shadow shows on the sand. The ocean winds blow all night shaking the palms. My feet are on the sand, a wave covers my foot. I can feel it. Really feel that water over my feet. Smell the fresh salty air and listen to the call of a giant osprey. I'm right there. The ocean is our connection to our primordial selves. I'm not going to be able to live without it.

I digress. A week ago a few people were walking behind me in the afternoon and we started to talk. Very nice folks from Chicago. I realized the woman (maybe in her late 30s) with them was holding a very large 1.5 liter travel mug with a tie-dye pattern. She was boozed up, and looked pretty unhealthy. It's 1pm for lords sake. I can't imagine enjoying the incredible beauty around us in that state. Not even at night.

We are better off without that junk. Hope to get some real 'time' under my belt.

Night all.

Incontrol15

Thank you Amp!

Johnny...sounds awesome. Here in NE Ohio today, it's more like CT than FL. Dark, windy, raining.

Days like this would have been spent sleeping away if I wasn't working. I am off today and very unmotivated. I earned a lazy day card over the past couple weeks. I'm using it today.

stargazer016

Three work days completed of working late and going to bed at 3:00 am. Two more slightly earlier shifts to go. I have mentioned it before but when I would hit a stretch of late nights in my schedule, it would be a huge green light to drink. Everyone is asleep and I busted my butt at work so now it's time to party.

I certainly don't miss those mornings of staying up until five am drinking, only to pass out, get a terrible nights sleep, and do it all over again the next day.

I am stunned and grateful how not drinking has minimized my winter blues. I always thought I drank because I was depressed. It actually seems my ridiculous alcohol consumption was,if not totally causing my depression, was the major factor supporting it. I never put it together that drinking mass quantities of a depressant would depress me. No one ever said alcoholics can think clearly.

Incontrol15

Yup. I always thought alcohol was a depressant for the Central Nervous System. Well, it is, but that's where I drew the line. Alcohol made me happy, not sad. Why would consuming something that makes me happy worsen my depression?

Same with marijuana. In the past I told my shrink that I smoked it. She looked at me with a puzzled face and said MJ is a depressant. Why would I smoke it if I was depressed. I really didn't understand what she was saying. I wrote I off assuming she never smoked it before. MJ didn't make me sad, it made me happy! That's why I smoked it. Duh!

I now finally get it. Sure there's a small amount of time that drinking or smoking makes me happy, but they leave a wake of depression. Which just fuels the desire to get high again.

Every tine I got high, I was stacking the depression that followed on top of the depression I created from the last time I used. Which was normally just minutes before.

Again...I'm really thankful at how quickly I am progressing. Years of smoking, drinking, popping pills, snorting bath salts really put me in a bad place. I was always doing something. Alcohol was not my DOC, but most easily available. It was also the most destructive.

Having the experience of becoming an all day drunk was a good one in the end. That's what it took for me to realize what getting high really does to me in the long run.

OMD

Sorry you regularly have to work so late SG, but it's great you can now see the right way to end such a day. The other day I worked til past midnight and normally I would have started on the booze well before then, and "earned" myself a couple of hours afterwards, thereby guaranteeing an exhausted drunken finish and an unproductive start to the following day and hence a later finish than would have been necessary. This time I finished, had a cup of tea, read for a bit then went to bed. Woke up, got on with it. Simple, fresh, and natural.

I am looking forward to this Christmas being a sober one, apart from being around drunken relatives. Seems a bit rich for me of all people to say that, but there we are. My family is going to get the gift of my sobriety because I will be present in their life during this period, so that makes up for everything else.

I haven't made any resolutions yet for 2016 but boy am I pleased with the way 2015 went! I think my resolutions will probably relate to various forms of exercise.

Best wishes
OMD

stargazer016

I want to say "Merry Christmas" to Dee for being here and guiding us through the craziest and most rewarding eight months of our lives. Your wisdom has helped to keep us on the right path even when things looked bleak. You are our Yoda! Thanks for all you do!

amp123

Merry Christmas to all of you and I'd like to second SG's thanks to Dee

Incontrol15

Thank you Amp.

Mom is in town. Staying with my bro. I get my boys Christmas night. Taking them to my bros.
should be a nice time.

As far as booze goes...last year I was not able to get the amount of liquor I required. I was the only real drinker there. My brother does drink, and he did drink a lot in the past, but he's slowed down a lot. In fact, I bet they'll be no booze at all this Xmas. Won't be a major decision for him, he'll just decide he doesn't want it.

He has addiction qualities too, but he's waaaay faster hitting the point to stop over doing. He'll stop because using too much might make him tired, or fat, or spending too much money. He'll lose interest and drop it.

Last we met, he was tired of alcohol altogether. No major life event. He didn't hit rock bottom. Just decided he had enough and didn't like the idea of feeling "off key" for a day or two after drinking.

Anyway...
Bottom line I'm in for a good holiday. I hope the same goes for you guys.

Dee74

Thanks Stargazer

Xmas day here - I hope everyone has a safe happy and sober Festive Season

D

stargazer016

Merry Christmas to all the awesome April mates and those who pop in here from time to time. You all have been lifesavers. Enjoy the holiday.

Viperidae

Xmas eve here. 99% waxing gibbous moon is going to send the waves crashing tonight. And it's like daylight with that bright moon out in the beach. I'm going to go lie on a chair if I can carry the long heavy one 300 meters. I'll be basically alone. The cop might be out there which is good news for me. He hides in a black 4 wheel drive along the saw grass.

I saw a bunch of dolphins today when I was in the water. 🐬 Around 20 feet away. A nice pod going up and down like they do. I wish I could have played with them. At least they offer some protection from tiger sharks besides my knife. 😬

My sister's family came down. Her husband and 2 teenagers. Those kids are awesome, but no, just no. Too much craziness. 15 and 17 year old boys.

They leave on the 27th and I'll be here alone that night. I've conquered several very stressful days down here. I'm a bit apprehensive about being alone. Maybe my strategy will be walk the beach and swim twice as long as usual, tire myself out, and have snacks, salami, cheese, crackers, at the ready.