Class of April 2015 Part 9
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
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Loved that article Amp! It's absolutely amazing how far we all have come in 8 short months (my sober-versary is the 23rd)! This is inspiring me to me, to know that new and amazing events are coming now that I am sober. Someone posted earlier about this time period (6-12 mths) is the new normal and we are just adjusting to a sober life. I feel content with the fact that I will never drink again, but the discontent is coming from a feeling of restlessness. I keep asking myself, so what now? It's onto self discovery and exploring where this new sober life will take me.
This weekend, I was thinking about how I can strengthen my resolve on my sobriety over the Christmas holidays in Mexico, where a bottle of beer is cheaper then a bottle of water (and also, more readily available).
I am taking books, I am taking all my meditations, I am packing my journal and my sober recover "plan", I am subscribing to this gal's blog, I am hitting the workout room, I am planning on hanging with my 9 year old (he is just so much fun!), I am going to practice my pre-school level Spanish skills, and I'm going to whip up some crazy fun smoothies (or mocktails, whatever you want to call them). With all that said, I am going to just have fun, act like a child, and not worry about a relapse, because that ain't happening!
This is an excerpt from the article Amp posted:
6. I started acting like a kid. One of the things I loved so much about drinking was the complete shedding of having to be anything in those moments of zero inhibition. To capture that free-spirit essence I found at certain levels of intoxication, I committed to an attitude of wonderment and play. This meant dancing when I wanted to dance and singing when I wanted to sing, running through fields or down stairs, and simply doing what my heart desired to do, no matter how crazy I looked or uncomfortable I made people or myself feel. I made it a point to find fascination in the things that surround me, and to look at the world through a fresh, childlike perspective.
This weekend, I was thinking about how I can strengthen my resolve on my sobriety over the Christmas holidays in Mexico, where a bottle of beer is cheaper then a bottle of water (and also, more readily available).
I am taking books, I am taking all my meditations, I am packing my journal and my sober recover "plan", I am subscribing to this gal's blog, I am hitting the workout room, I am planning on hanging with my 9 year old (he is just so much fun!), I am going to practice my pre-school level Spanish skills, and I'm going to whip up some crazy fun smoothies (or mocktails, whatever you want to call them). With all that said, I am going to just have fun, act like a child, and not worry about a relapse, because that ain't happening!
This is an excerpt from the article Amp posted:
6. I started acting like a kid. One of the things I loved so much about drinking was the complete shedding of having to be anything in those moments of zero inhibition. To capture that free-spirit essence I found at certain levels of intoxication, I committed to an attitude of wonderment and play. This meant dancing when I wanted to dance and singing when I wanted to sing, running through fields or down stairs, and simply doing what my heart desired to do, no matter how crazy I looked or uncomfortable I made people or myself feel. I made it a point to find fascination in the things that surround me, and to look at the world through a fresh, childlike perspective.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Good article Amp! I am kind of at that "what's next" stage of recovery. Glad to not be dealing with the repercussions of drinking every day, though, in the back of my mind, I sometimes ponder "is this it? Is this as good as it gets?"
I realize that I probably had very unrealistic dreams of what life would be like without booze. I assumed that I would have boundless energy and time and make new friends and lose weight and so on. The journey so far has been far more modest. I have taken steps on achieving all of the above, it's just that I thought that I would be much closer to these goals than I currently am. Expecting to undo decades of alcohol abuse in a few months is a Santa Claus fantasy on my part, and I realize that of course.
I hope, like the writer from the article, that over the next six months to a year, that I and the rest of us here can go on from just thankfully living each day sober to exploring the world, developing my/our self/selves and getting excited about life in that childlike wonder that she seems to have.
I realize that I probably had very unrealistic dreams of what life would be like without booze. I assumed that I would have boundless energy and time and make new friends and lose weight and so on. The journey so far has been far more modest. I have taken steps on achieving all of the above, it's just that I thought that I would be much closer to these goals than I currently am. Expecting to undo decades of alcohol abuse in a few months is a Santa Claus fantasy on my part, and I realize that of course.
I hope, like the writer from the article, that over the next six months to a year, that I and the rest of us here can go on from just thankfully living each day sober to exploring the world, developing my/our self/selves and getting excited about life in that childlike wonder that she seems to have.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Well, SG, I think what you get is a bit like a clear desktop. A platform, on which to build. A clean slate (once we clear up the mess we made). From now on it is what we make it, as long as we stay on the path.
Recovery goes at different rates for different people and I don't think many of us will experience the kind of stellar evolution that the woman in the article enjoyed. Nevertheless, we will evolve. Personally the changes in me are much more subtle than those described, but I am that little bit more sure-footed and decisive. A little more confident and content. Less anxious and stressed. More creative and inventive. Yes, I still get it wrong sometimes but I'll try to reflect and improve instead of getting defensive.
A lot of small things that together may become big. Not sure if that makes too much sense but it does to me!
Take care!
Recovery goes at different rates for different people and I don't think many of us will experience the kind of stellar evolution that the woman in the article enjoyed. Nevertheless, we will evolve. Personally the changes in me are much more subtle than those described, but I am that little bit more sure-footed and decisive. A little more confident and content. Less anxious and stressed. More creative and inventive. Yes, I still get it wrong sometimes but I'll try to reflect and improve instead of getting defensive.
A lot of small things that together may become big. Not sure if that makes too much sense but it does to me!
Take care!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Amp...I agree with everything you said there. The stress was out of the park for me. Indecision, inaction, paralyzed me. Which would multiply the stress factor x 10.
Another busy day working two jobs. Taking 2 min to represent. Gotta get up in 4.5 hrs. I'm going to be sore and tired for sure.
I'm thankful...really, really, really thankful that I'm not going to bed drunk.
Another busy day working two jobs. Taking 2 min to represent. Gotta get up in 4.5 hrs. I'm going to be sore and tired for sure.
I'm thankful...really, really, really thankful that I'm not going to bed drunk.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Originally Posted by amp123 
Well, SG, I think what you get is a bit like a clear desktop. A platform, on which to build. A clean slate (once we clear up the mess we made). From now on it is what we make it, as long as we stay on the path.
Recovery goes at different rates for different people and I don't think many of us will experience the kind of stellar evolution that the woman in the article enjoyed. Nevertheless, we will evolve. Personally the changes in me are much more subtle than those described, but I am that little bit more sure-footed and decisive. A little more confident and content. Less anxious and stressed. More creative and inventive. Yes, I still get it wrong sometimes but I'll try to reflect and improve instead of getting defensive.
A lot of small things that together may become big. Not sure if that makes too much sense but it does to me!
Take care!
Recovery goes at different rates for different people and I don't think many of us will experience the kind of stellar evolution that the woman in the article enjoyed. Nevertheless, we will evolve. Personally the changes in me are much more subtle than those described, but I am that little bit more sure-footed and decisive. A little more confident and content. Less anxious and stressed. More creative and inventive. Yes, I still get it wrong sometimes but I'll try to reflect and improve instead of getting defensive.
A lot of small things that together may become big. Not sure if that makes too much sense but it does to me!
Take care!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Woke up in a big funk today that was not helped by the dreary skies. I've been doing great so far this fall, but today smacked me hard. When I get in this state, I become ambivalent about everything, including my recovery.
A long time drinking buddy of mine wanted me to go out to a bar with him to see a band that we liked. I was thinking that I really didn't want to hang out in a bar feeling how I was, but he convinced me to go see the first set.
I picked him up at 8:00 and he was pretty hammered. He told me that he had been drinking since noon. By the end of that first set, he could barely string two words together. I felt really terrible for my friend, but in a perverse way, his behavior inspired me to recommit to my sobriety today. Guess I just needed to see a living reminder of why I have been doing this for the past eight months. The day is a win! (And I saw a great set of music!)
A long time drinking buddy of mine wanted me to go out to a bar with him to see a band that we liked. I was thinking that I really didn't want to hang out in a bar feeling how I was, but he convinced me to go see the first set.
I picked him up at 8:00 and he was pretty hammered. He told me that he had been drinking since noon. By the end of that first set, he could barely string two words together. I felt really terrible for my friend, but in a perverse way, his behavior inspired me to recommit to my sobriety today. Guess I just needed to see a living reminder of why I have been doing this for the past eight months. The day is a win! (And I saw a great set of music!)
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Good for you SG. Sometimes you need that perspective. When Inc said the other day how he was so happy he wasn't going to bed drunk, I knew exactly what he meant. That sinking feeling. Knowing you've gone too far (as usual) and weighing up all the horrible consequences until you fall unconscious for some fitful hours. So glad I'm not there. Just sometimes we need a little reminding!!!
A blast from the past arrived in my town yesterday. When I was a young guy I spent a couple of years hitching around Spain. i played as a street musician, did some gigs, picked fruit at harvest time. Occasional work. Sounds great but I was getting loaded most of the time... Anyway... One of the guys who I travelled with for some time sent me a message saying that he was in town. Sadly, my first thought was that he was going to want to go out and get hammered and how to avoid it!!
As it turns out, we're both on a tight schedule (he's with a guided tour party and I have my work Christmas lunch) so we're doing breakfast. Very civilised!
Then the work do! I'm not feeling nervous about it but, as I write I feel myself mentally preparing for the "what ifs". I will drive and I have an excuse ready to leave early or just go out for a walk if I want to. I know I'll be fine but I'll be all the finer knowing I've got a plan B cued up
Have a great weekend, all!
A blast from the past arrived in my town yesterday. When I was a young guy I spent a couple of years hitching around Spain. i played as a street musician, did some gigs, picked fruit at harvest time. Occasional work. Sounds great but I was getting loaded most of the time... Anyway... One of the guys who I travelled with for some time sent me a message saying that he was in town. Sadly, my first thought was that he was going to want to go out and get hammered and how to avoid it!!
As it turns out, we're both on a tight schedule (he's with a guided tour party and I have my work Christmas lunch) so we're doing breakfast. Very civilised!
Then the work do! I'm not feeling nervous about it but, as I write I feel myself mentally preparing for the "what ifs". I will drive and I have an excuse ready to leave early or just go out for a walk if I want to. I know I'll be fine but I'll be all the finer knowing I've got a plan B cued up
Have a great weekend, all!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Originally Posted by amp123
Good for you SG. Sometimes you need that perspective. When Inc said the other day how he was so happy he wasn't going to bed drunk, I knew exactly what he meant. That sinking feeling. Knowing you've gone too far (as usual) and weighing up all the horrible consequences until you fall unconscious for some fitful hours. So glad I'm not there. Just sometimes we need a little reminding!!!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
I love breakfast get togethers. There is seldom an issue with booze, unless you are in a restaurant that serves Bloody Mary's early on. Lunch and dinner out always meant drinking. Even a hard core drinker will give you a pass on not drinking at breakfast time.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey guys!
Was my work xmas lunch today. Didn't drink. Didn't feel like drinking. Importantly also didn't feel disconnected. Disconnection has very much been the tonic for me at social gatherings in sobriety so this is important progress for me. Feeling really happy with my choices
Was my work xmas lunch today. Didn't drink. Didn't feel like drinking. Importantly also didn't feel disconnected. Disconnection has very much been the tonic for me at social gatherings in sobriety so this is important progress for me. Feeling really happy with my choices
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Hi all!
Just a quick hello today, rushing about at the moment. Breakfast is also my favourite meeting time, love it! Hated it before, obviously. Add that to the very long list of why it's stupid to drink. How good is something really when you can't live your life?
Totally happy with my choice too! Stress, anxiety etc all a fraction of what they were.
None for me today!
OMD
Just a quick hello today, rushing about at the moment. Breakfast is also my favourite meeting time, love it! Hated it before, obviously. Add that to the very long list of why it's stupid to drink. How good is something really when you can't live your life?
Totally happy with my choice too! Stress, anxiety etc all a fraction of what they were.
None for me today!
OMD
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Amp, I'll have to check it out. You haven't steered me wrong yet!
So I spent my morning digging through trash at work and at a gas station. I had thrown away a dental piece that came out on me at work by accident. I found it at the gas station! Phew.
I'm really good at finding things in the trash. I became good at it during my marijuana addiction. I was good for throwing away my supply only to dig it out later. Gas stations, car washes, even a dumpster.
Digging through the trash today was actually up lifting. Of course I found what I was looking for
. I also appreciated the reminder of what it was like living as an addict.
So I spent my morning digging through trash at work and at a gas station. I had thrown away a dental piece that came out on me at work by accident. I found it at the gas station! Phew.
I'm really good at finding things in the trash. I became good at it during my marijuana addiction. I was good for throwing away my supply only to dig it out later. Gas stations, car washes, even a dumpster.
Digging through the trash today was actually up lifting. Of course I found what I was looking for
. I also appreciated the reminder of what it was like living as an addict.
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