Saskia

IP, congrats on 4 years! Sorry you are feeling in a quandry.

FG, I'm sending positive vibes for your niece.

DrakeCKC

Congrats on 4 IP!!

Itchy

Toots,
Now you know I meant the same as renaissance man, but of the other persuasion! Toots, you're incorrigible! (I like that in a friend!) Good luck on the book. Anne Rice, the devout Catholic writing of Vampires then taking a psuedonym as A. N. Roquelaure, wrote much the same erotica as 50 Shades long before mommy porn was in. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice Free Download. Read online books at OnRead.com And in the 1920s Paris, art didn't make enough money so Anais Nin wrote literate erotica as well. Strange how they all shared a theme.

IP,
Congrats on your four years! Just that is eloquent enough.

I love that newsletter written once or twice in a blue moon. "Wait But Why" is an intelligent blog and they do a bang up job correlating things in an order some would miss. Musk is my favorite techie of this century. He's been aiming at Mars for god reasons to me. And in case that takes too long he's trying to extend the life here on our planet by bringing about the next big disruptive innovations in solar, storage, transportation, and space. I invested all our low earning savings accounts since 2008 into Tesla (TSLA) when they IPO'd in 2010 at $17 and twice again at 22.50. waiting for it to top $300. Been following Musk since his PayPal debut. He does it while others make "forward looking statements!" Love it!

FBL,
God luck with your podcast!

So true on following your heart. The key is being happy with the moment in transition to the next, none of which can be frozen in time. Life is a delicious cascade of continuous moments and their savoring in time for the next. We define ourselves by the moments we let go, not the ones we try to keep. There is an eternity we will hold, but that is not this moment.

Wolf,
That came in at 1:30AM local time here. I forget you are six hours ahead of us in US Central time zone.

RZ,
On the smelling salts . . . Never mind!

Venus!
Where are you? You are finally off probation. I can no longer call you probie. Man that year went by fast. Seems like a month ago. Welcome back.

Sassy,
Funny how John Denver was on my mind yesterday. I loved his music having lived for three years in Colorado Springs I knew what of he writ. And no one wrote it better. He died flying his EZ long experimntal aircraft, here he is with it: FotoTime - Slideshow
I was just retiring from the AF, and on terminal leave when he went down. Like Lennon, he didn't do it to himself, like Elvis, Hendrix, and Janis, and so many others.

Hi Pondlady! Long time no ratchet jaw! Howaya!

FG,
Glad for your kiddo, and hope the next round may grant a reprieve for your niece. Don't get displaced by the world, go grab some! Meetings sure can inspire. But then everyone hustles off to the life between meetings. When I was new to sobriety I thought I was the only one that wanted to hang out for a bit where we could be real. I've learned many folks are hustling, as Tom Petty said so well, into the great wide open, a rebel without a clue. Don't forget your chosen nom de plume - Feeling Good.

Wolf!
Good job on the dinner and helping out your niece! Just think how little you could do had we all kept drinking. Your stories remind me that even food is special, when shared. Breaking bread with those we help ourselves to is the real spice in life.

Drake sounds like your party was enjoyable!

OK, tomorrow is closing then we can do the punch out list they will fix and our house is ours. We are happy even with the stuff that needs to be fixed. Little niggles can't stop our joy in it. I bought 50 pounds of winter rye grass to get some soil stabilization of the dirt pad before the winter monsoons hit. Now to make my plan for prep and do it. I should see frog hair (sprouting) in a couple of weeks. Giant fire ant mounds have come up everywhere this year. I'll be spending to eradicate them temporarily now and in Spring. I need to form and tuck my land in for its long winter's nap.
Nite all, gotta rack.

Soberwolf

Thanks Itchy good morning & good morning to all the overs

Congrats on 4 fantastic years IP

tootsl1

Congratulations IP, be careful not to allow yourself to isolate when you move. I wouldn't see anyone if it wasn't for the fact I have a part time job and am married. I totally enjoy people when I'm around them, I just don't go looking for company.

FG hope your daughter heals quickly and I hope your neice see more improvement.

Sass, did I say I didn't like JD???? I used to play 'Annie's Song' on the recorder ad nauseum until my brother threatened to shove it where I would need a proctologist to recover it!

Zip - no smelling salts required, I forewarned her! She's great my mum!

Itchy, sex seems to sell these days. Some of my books are more graphic than others, I hope it is contextual and not gratuitous, I guess that is for the reader to decide. I find books that seem to have their characters jumping into bed every other page bore me, I need some kind of storyline and plenty of humour. ( who would guess that! )

Hugs all . Another day, another dollar

FBL

Unabashed John Denver fan here. I like most of his hits, but am partial to this often overlooked gem from 1981:



That song was a particular favorite of my mom and she used to play it all the time. Denver had his issues with alcohol and I'm not certain if he ever conquered them, but I'd like to think he did.

Have a great Thursday, overs!

Soberwolf

I love your posts Toots, best wishes for the book I'm sure itl be a success

Hi Saskia

Thanks Itchy your comment meant a lot bud it really is amazing she's got tons of ingredients for the breville sandwich iron we got her last week

We tried to get her foods that a 3rd yr uni 21yr would eat & mixed some good stuff in there

I think my neice feels a tad embarrassed but I've told her to not be silly

She's a good kid & she got into her uni girls rugby team she's only tiny but I've said can I come to a game & she was like yeah we high fived on it so that was good

Dark and dismal today I'm going to nap soon as I'm really tired from yesterday I'm reading & watching the leauge of extraordinary gentleman I loved this when I was a teenager Sean Connery rocks in this

Rusty Zipper

way to go inpar!!!

Saskia

Good morning, Overs!

FG, thanks for that - I'd never heard it before and like it :-)

Toots, oops, I misunderstood your previous comment 😱

Itchy, always enjoy your posts! You are making big progress with your home.

Hi to all!

InParticular

Thanks alot FBL, I think I know what you mean.

SW, the guy is coming over. I have mixed feelings about it actually, ah l'amour! He's also helping me out with firewood for my new place. He has friends who have wood, heheh.

Have a great day everyone. Thank you for the congrats. Four years since I decided to not be a sh**head anymore.

What's everyone's Halloween plans? I'm doing the most halloweeny thing ever, going to build bat-houses!

Soberwolf

Way to go you IP happy 4th birthday XO

IWLSAST

Ho Over's,

IP, congrats on the milestone in recovery.

FBL, if I take a liberty and consider the opposite of loneliness to be contentment, then my recovery pg is what is helping me the most.

Not sure if ever in my life I was completely comfortable and content for any length of time. If I had, won, achieved, acquired any measure in life...soon my thoughts drifted to what might make it even better.

Learning to get comfortable and grateful with what is and not what might be has offered me freedom. Now I can spend time with the dude in the mirror and be at peace without the sadness and fear that it isn't enough.

Fear that has masked itself so many ways has begun to surface as my primary character defect as I embark on my AA step 4 soul searching journey.

I simply cannot wait for the paradox that admission offers removal.

Thanks for the recovery work kudos, Toots. I took a moment after reading it and................... My best as you tie up the lose ends of your third book. What an amazing accomplishment my sober friend!!

FG, I hope that your daughter is feeling okay and that you enjoyed some quality time together. I miss those Daddy/Daughter days now that they are grown, even when the catalyst was simply taking care of one of them for the day.

SW, congrats on the close relationship that you and your wife have with your niece. A few bags of food are food for the soul of a 21 yo college girl...I know this from experience.

Itch Man. Thanks for the compliment on my desire to get up at least one more time than I have fallen. I still lack the ability of understanding why the message offered by AA that I had heard for a couple decades from time to time, and would dismiss suddenly resonated? Best part, it doesn't matter - it just did.

My best during your closing tomorrow.

Hello, Pondlady.

I took an entire car load of stuff to Goodwill yesterday. Best part, I have already put another car load of stuff for today!

Itchy

Hey! Everyone is fine here? Now that is a precious present soon to be supplanted by the next moments. I revel in the strides as we make them. For me my alcohol days are like Denver said in his lyric:

"Now the face that I see in my mirror
More and more is a stranger to me
More and more I can see there's a danger
In becoming what I never thought I'd be"

I remember that stage in my drinking. The denial, and then realizing I became that alcoholic, out of shape, and showing every lack of will or power, that as a youth I so said I would never be.

Today I am at a funny stage. I can write but don't, and I share only my doggerel or humorous verse with the world, not my "good" writing. I've always been "different." The egghead, kid who knew all the answers. And the adult who knew the relationship was over when a budding friend said "you are the smartest/most intelligent/educated person I know. " It was like I had to hide my light when all I wanted was to be "normal."

I can work but won't. I can teach/counsel/lead and follow, but hold back. I want to but then think, naaaw, then I get into finding equals which is an admission I am making qualitative as well as quantitative judgments that are not my nature.

In my 20s I learned that it was not my problem. Once I accepted that I stopped trying so hard. I worked very hard all my life, enjoying every minute of doing what to others seemed impossible to maintain, but energized me. Now I am a retired NCO, who has a pension that would not work had I not done three jobs my whole life all fun. At one point I was leading a large unit 12 hours a day and on call weekends, teaching classes I wrote on mentorship to my whole base, going to grad school two nights a weeks with my superior officers and holding one night of group study, running my own companies on weekend days, and relaxing by DJing official functions and on/off base parties weddings and holiday parties with my Gold & Oldies show with lots of trivia and mic work. ( I have the pipes too) All this in Germany during the seven years I was there and still made time to ski at least two months a year one week and four day weekend at a time, and tour Europe in Summer. I was content and loving it. Not stressed or tired ever. all that at the same time it seemed to others. To me it was one day this, next day that, hire him, get my wife to place orders for hardware for our satellite store, get my systems programmer and NOC programmers in the loop. Folks were always saying they could never . . . whatever.

I never have to work again. Not rich just set up. And now, when I'd thought I had stopped being that guy I was in danger of, and did, become, I've popped out the other side of the alcoholic stupidity and am satisfied, with some caveats.

I am tired of relaxing, and just doing my property is that, but am not sure how, or if, I want to proceed.

As a kid in the 60's New York suburb I smoked some dope and tried all manner of alternate consciousness. The only addiction I brought to the Air Force was smoking cigarettes. But I always thought retirement would be smoking some weed and having some drinks, and no worry about overdoing it, because no job to go to the morning after. That was how I defined the good life as a teen and man in his early 20s with my first son and another soon to come. I was the perfect father as far as a human can be that. Great marriage and a wonderful life all over the world paid for by my service.

Sober, I am happy again, and getting some energy back. Running away with substances or physically don't work because we always bring our "selves" along.

But like drinking and drugging didn't turn out to be the good life, I am left with a wonderment at my apathy. No I am happy with all but the caveat of being situationally aware, and feeling that I am just plain selfish.

I get to where many wish and it isn't the answer. Yet I am not disturbed by that, only wondering what, and when, I will do. I don't need or want better and have no desires that are not filled, lacking any monsters in my subconscious. But power and more money are too easy, and have no good ends for me. Because then I would have to drop my pretense of naiveté and engage in dirty business while maintaining appearances. See I rise fast and the top has always surprised me with how many believe any means justifies their ends. I know that I won't destroy others for their power or possessions. And since I refuse to take part in religious hatreds or "sides, " or pushing my beliefs on anything other than that we are here to help each other. I think the golden rule and its equivalent in all major religions of the world does not have the caveat "as long as they are part of our religion."

So for now, I will treat all my spaceship Earth fellow passengers as I would like to be treated, no exceptions. Despite my knowing that many will not allow that. It makes them look inside. You think alcohol denial is compelling? Try denying a monster within that is intentionally unleashed and enjoyed by the monster. I used to deny that there are truly evil people in the world. But that naiveté is long gone. See, my generation of sheepdogs, would not lie cheat or steal, or tolerate those who do. We were never fooled for long by wolves in the skin of a sheep. And know they had to kill a sheep to get it. I am seeing the flock willing to give up sheep who look and act differently, to wolves. Thinking like good ol Neville, that appeasement will work with a monster.

This song is long but few ever read the lyrics. John Kay was originally from East Germany, emigrated to Canada and formed a group called the sparrows. He wrote some of the best expressions of the philosophy of peace yet facing the world and its terms. This song was written in the 60's and is perhaps truer today than it was then.



Perhaps I'll start more volunteer work and share some at the local shelter.


So I have come full circle. The people from that generation, the peace movement, is still here, we just made too much damn money.

Sorry, John Denver got me to thinking of those days, when I was leaving, on a jet plane.

My thoughts for today.

FBL

Itch, thanks so much for sharing. Your posts always get me thinking.

I once had a college professor tell me that if you can find employment doing something you love, you'll never have to "work" another day in your life. I took that advice to heart and haven't "worked" a day in nearly 30 years!

My brothers always tell me how lucky I am, but I believe that we make our own luck. I have a hard time relating to people that complain about their situation in life, yet do nothing about it. Oh well, takes all kinds I guess

Saskia

Thanks, Itchy! I, too, I enjoy your rambles. I grew up in NJ near NYC in the late fifties and very early sixties and spent plenty of time there. My life has turned out completely different from my dreams ... yet I am content. I don't see a goal, I see life as a process. I don't think there is a big illuminating moment and find that mostly I am finally enjoying living day-to-day, being true to myself and kind to others.

Soberwolf

Evening Overs

Soberwolf

Morning Overs 6.30am

Soberwolf

Going to go read

FBL

Have a great Friday, overs!

Rusty Zipper

great post itch

and come in captain video!