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Class of October 2015 Part 3

Old 10-22-2015, 08:48 PM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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Thats a pretty textbook AV post there Help.

Time and again I let myself believe that this time it would be different - but it never was.

That nostalgic fantasy that rosy glow you've convinced yourself you'll have won't happen. It was always a fantasy but never more than now.

There's nothing like a little recovery to mess up that buzz.

I gave a lot of time to those kind of decisions, I know where they led me, and I know you know where they lead you too.

It's harder to take that road less travelled and buy some cokes and some sparkling waters and watch Scream - but it's so so worth it.

You came here for a reason. Maybe read through your old posts - it will really tick your AV off, but I think thats a good thing.

You came here for change. Make change

Noone ever regretted not drinking last night.

D
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Old 10-22-2015, 08:49 PM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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Not outta line help. I've done exactly what you're doing 1000 times. I believe it too at the time, I know exactly what you're going through. The I'm not an alcoholic, it's no big deal routine. I don't know you're drinking history, but I know if you're here, there's a reason. I can 95% say that if you go through with it, you'll regret it tomorrow morning. Hang strong.
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Old 10-22-2015, 08:52 PM
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Good to see you Max. It is hard to deal with everything 'wothout a net' but we;re pretty fast learners.

I'm really glad I learned to solve my problems rather than keep running away.

hey to you too jleezy

Fatigue is pretty common I think. We don't perhaps realise it, but we beat our minds and bodies up pretty good as drinkers.

Give your mind and body a little time to recuperate. You'll feel good again

D
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Old 10-22-2015, 08:56 PM
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Gnite all. Its way past time to try to relax. I'm going to bed, and going to try to sleep. I hope my ranting hasn't upset anybody, and I will try to catch up on the rest of the class tomorrow. Thanks for all the support all. Catch u all on the flip, as they say.

Blessings, M
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Old 10-22-2015, 09:01 PM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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It really is good to welcome you back Max. Sleep well

D
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Old 10-22-2015, 09:01 PM
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No worries, Max, glad you shared. Have a good night. 👍
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Old 10-22-2015, 09:29 PM
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Day 5 is done! Woke up feeling good, tried the cold coffee concentrate from Trader Joes with a little almond milk, cream, and vanilla...yummy! Had an awesome day at work. Kids kicked my button tonight, pretty stressful evening, the kind of night that makes ya wanna suck down a few ipa, but I didn't even thing about alcohol, it's not an option. Watched my Hawks woop up on the 9ers, now with the family asleep I get some alone time with Ben and Jerry's, it was a damn good day. Keep up the good work you guys, we got this!
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Old 10-22-2015, 10:15 PM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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Help, I'm pretty sure people don't come to this thread that are not alcoholic. So if you are in fact an alcoholic, it is not going to be as easy to stop or moderate as your mind is telling you right now. How did moderating work out for you in the past? Why would it be any different this time? Don't do it help. I am rootin' for you 100% all the way!!!!!
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Old 10-22-2015, 10:25 PM
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I am now caught up on today's post, and I gotta say good talk today gang. Thank you all for the wisdom and support! It has gotten me to 30 days, and I was able to proudly go to a meeting and pick up my shiny pink coin : ) I still had a little bit of the shakes when I was reaching for my coin, but the reason was obvious and there was no explanation necessary. I was on the fence about going to the meeting, but I'm glad I did. They wanted me to go out to eat afterward, but I declined - I wanted to get home and catch up on posts. I missed you guys today! Congrats to everyone that fought the good fight and won today!!!
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Old 10-23-2015, 12:56 AM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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I suppose I should post that I'm okay. I'm sorry about all that. Thanks for the posts.

I'm not sure it won't come back though :/ I'd say that 90 percent of me not drinking tonight was down to the facts that a) after a run one does not feel a whole lot like drinking, and b) after posting something like that on here and getting answers like those, one does not feel a whole lot like drinking. I'm afraid that on a different night, I might be just as convinced as I was tonight, but not go for a run and post. I guess I can only hope that I do, and that it works then too ...

Good night.
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Old 10-23-2015, 01:15 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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It's not like I woke up one day and never wanted to drink again Help.
I'd drunk for 20 years - change takes a little time.


What really reinforces that change is not drinking again...and what really helps that change occur is support.

Coming here and asking for help, or helping someone else kept me sober a bunch of times.

Right now it sounds to me like you think your AV could, at times, be more powerfuil than you - it's simply not true. It just talks a good game.
Cravings happen, but they pass.

If you don't want to drink and you don't physically go and get that drink, there's jack your AV can do about it.

you really do hold all the cards

Keep moving forward - every time you stare your addiction down , the weaker it becomes.

D
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Old 10-23-2015, 01:54 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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Wishing everyone a peaceful day today, & a peaceful sober weekend
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Old 10-23-2015, 03:26 AM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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Nuke looks like today is day 7 for you!
JL day 4, it'll get better. All my bad sober days are 100 times better than 1 drunk day! Grab your boot straps and keep pushing through!
StrongEnough, day 11-keeping busy will help minimize cravings!
Juno, day 13, don't let yourself get depressed about never drinking again. Be excited about learning to live again and oh, Hey! Let me introduce you to yourself! This should involve you learning who you really are again. The good times will come. Happiness and peace will come if you do the work and keep moving forward. You don't live in the past.
Sydney day 19 you're doing great and sound awesomely strong! Proud of you!
Jleezy day 14 and yes feeling tired is normal. Takes a while for our bodies to heal! Give yourself time from the years of abuse.
Dobie, day 6- keep adding those days it'll give you strength and wisdom!
Rio day 5 and I would've wanted to face punch the person for cracking out the "old" comment, ugh!
Max, you know what I think! You gotta get a stronger plan. Quit letting life give you excuses and use using them to throw a pity party. Positivity is a must! Nobody has a perfect life I don't care what it appears on the outside. Everybody has **** to deal with. Learn a different way to think about it and to deal with it. Drinking or using is not the answer. You know that. Be stronger you can do it!
NACN day 6 and you're sounding great and doing wonderful it seems!
GRIZZLY-30 DAYS IS FABULOUS! Woohoo! High five!
Looking4- day 6 keep adding those days my friend. It all begins and ends with you!
Come on guys! I know you can do it. Be your biggest fan! Be your biggest support and cheerleader. You are so worth it. It feels terrible in the beginning. It sucks in the beginning. You hold the key to change your attitude and get some hope and push through all that crap! It'll change if you change it!
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Old 10-23-2015, 03:39 AM
  # 134 (permalink)  
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Thanks Key fior your kind supportive and encouraging words. I couldnt do this alone, I need people like you to make this possible.. You guys make me strong, and push me to believe in myself.. X
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Old 10-23-2015, 04:47 AM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Another moment of honesty. I think my fate is sealed.

Finished work, came home and immediately uttered to my wife that "I might drink tomorrow " when I meet up with my friends. Actually verbalising the words has opened a big gap for my AV.


I know I hold all the power, all the cards. I am so happy at present and could continue to be yet I'm still getting pulled.

Feeling despondent
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Old 10-23-2015, 05:11 AM
  # 136 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by helpimalive View Post
I suppose I should post that I'm okay. I'm sorry about all that. Thanks for the posts.

I'm not sure it won't come back though :/ I'd say that 90 percent of me not drinking tonight was down to the facts that a) after a run one does not feel a whole lot like drinking, and b) after posting something like that on here and getting answers like those, one does not feel a whole lot like drinking. I'm afraid that on a different night, I might be just as convinced as I was tonight, but not go for a run and post. I guess I can only hope that I do, and that it works then too ...

Good night.
I was so happy to log on this morning and see this post! Way to go help. You are the one in control, not AV. I am so happy for you to wake up this morning clear headed!
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Old 10-23-2015, 05:22 AM
  # 137 (permalink)  
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Day 6! Woop woop! Feeling good this morning and I have the day off today as I don't teach on Fridays! Feeling good this morning, I will not dwell on the scale. It's all good.
Fellow day 6ers how's it going? Dobie and Looking4?
Grizzly day 30 woot woot!
JL, Nuke, Rio, Jleezy, Sydney, Strongenough, going strong!
Juno, I mourn the never drinking again too. It comes in strong pangs. I think that is one of the toughest parts. I am trying to replace it with other things, and I feel like the tradeoff is that now I can experience things in a much clearer and more memorable way. I hope that will help.
Max, welcome to a new day in class!
KeyofC you are such a wonderful cheerleader and support system! You are an inspiration thank you for your always kind words.
I am a bit nervous going into my first weekend sober. Luckily we have no crazy plans/parties to have to attend. My husband and I have a date night and this time instead of a bar we are going to the movies to see "The Martian"...at a cinema that does not sell booze! Extra large popcorn please!
Have a wonderful Friday everyone! I am forever grateful for this board and in particular this thread.
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Old 10-23-2015, 05:33 AM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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Midton, your fate is only sealed if you choose for it to be. You have the key. Only you. Nobody can save you from yourself. You have to be the one to stop the insanity. You have to turn things in your head around. You have to believe in yourself. Unfortunately nobody can stand around and take things out of your hand. We can't be around constantly to utter words of encouragement either. At some point you have to want it so bad that nothing is going to get in the way of that and every second of every day you will fight through those urges and the negative thoughts you keep telling yourself. I would tell myself, "Stop it! That is NOT true!" We tell ourselves so many negative things and after all the years you believe them. You really have to retrain the way of thinking. I am a good person. I do deserve happiness. I deserve peace. I deserve to live a normal life, sober. There is a great person under that cloak. Take it off! Fight for yourself! Let you be the you you were meant to be because it's not this person that is letting alcohol consume their life.
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Old 10-23-2015, 05:36 AM
  # 139 (permalink)  
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Sydney, your welcome! Everybody deserve to be seen and heard and have people support them and believe in them! Proud of you!

NACN sound like a good plan for your date night!~
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Old 10-23-2015, 05:39 AM
  # 140 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Midton View Post
Another moment of honesty. I think my fate is sealed.

Finished work, came home and immediately uttered to my wife that "I might drink tomorrow " when I meet up with my friends. Actually verbalising the words has opened a big gap for my AV.


I know I hold all the power, all the cards. I am so happy at present and could continue to be yet I'm still getting pulled.

Feeling despondent
there's nothing sealed in this deal at all Midton.

your inner addict has no corporeal body - no arms or legs - all it has is desire.

If you refuse to help it sate that desire there's nothing it can do about it.

I've known you for what? 6 years?

You've gone back to drinking several times and you always come back here - if your inner addict is suggesting it might be different this time, we both know that's bollocks.

You've done very very well this time around...what lies before you now is the choice of two paths...

having to do this all over again, or moving forward and finding some of the joys of recovery that we hear about so much here.

It's a matter of faith. Have some faith in yourself Midton.

D
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