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One Year and Under Club Part 49

Old 11-23-2015, 11:59 AM
  # 441 (permalink)  
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KIR well done on managing those cravings, I always followed the thought through to its conclusion, if I drank even one I would need to get bombed, I would hate myself, I would be back at day one, those hard earned days thrown in my own face. I would think about the effect it would have on my marriage, how hard it would be admitting that I had succumbed. I thought about how I would have to own my lapse here. Stopping drinking is not easy, if it were, there would be no drunks. But with determination, support and advice, we can do it.

Welcome Zombob, love the handle! 4 weeks at your back is a great beginning.

Well done on getting that 30 under your belt BeFree.

Key of C, I know how difficult these family gatherings can be the first time, but it does get easier.

Amp, while I would say don't borrow trouble by worrying about Christmas, it certainly doesn't hurt to be prepared. You are doing great, by then you will have another month under yourbelt and even more self belief.

Hugs Undies, Be Strong, Be Safe, Be Sober
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Old 11-23-2015, 03:33 PM
  # 442 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Incontrol15 View Post
No matter how stressed, how angry, how sad, how bored, how excited you get....there's joy and peace that follows. As long as you do ONE thing....don't drink!
Inc - Beautifully said. Thank you for the inspiration!

Saskia - My vigilance has become second nature, too. It's a form of self care.

Key - I think it's significant that you're willing to be vulnerable here where it's safe. You're upbeat but willing to say that some stuff you're doing is hard, like the family party. I know that for me breaking down the false bravado and admitting to myself and others that I am not always "fine" is a huge step in the direction of healing. When I'm rigorously honest, the "right" way to handle difficult situations becomes more intuitive.

Amp - Like Saskia said, a checklist of what I'm going to do to take care of myself helps me a ton. I like to plan something that will invigorate my spirits and plan what my support will be if I have a strong craving, like call my sponsor or a friend in recovery.

Zombob - Welcome and congrats on 28 days. I hope the extra support here bolsters you through many more sober milestones. How did the job go today?

WWS - I second your caution with social media. It can get ugly.

Toots - You and I were both under a year sober briefly at the same time. It sure is cool to see how we each keep growing, and it's always nice to see you share your experiences.

Well Undies I am off to my weekly home group meeting. Have a good one!!
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Old 11-23-2015, 08:03 PM
  # 443 (permalink)  
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[QUOTE=tootsl1;5657333]KIR well done on managing those cravings, I always followed the thought through to its conclusion, if I drank even one I would need to get bombed, I would hate myself, I would be back at day one, those hard earned days thrown in my own face. I would think about the effect it would have on my marriage, how hard it would be admitting that I had succumbed. I thought about how I would have to own my lapse here. Stopping drinking is not easy, if it were, there would be no drunks. But with determination, support and advice, we can do i



Thanks toots---everybody here offered words of wisdom and great support. It really helped. I'm closing down a successful day 15! 1/2 way to 30....and then the sky is the limit!

Night all!
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Old 11-23-2015, 11:19 PM
  # 444 (permalink)  
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Hope everyone has a good day ahead, or behind, them

D
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Old 11-24-2015, 12:48 AM
  # 445 (permalink)  
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Hey everyone! Good morning from Spain

The first year of sobriety is, of course, full of firsts. The first sober holidays and birthdays. The family visits, the hook ups with old friends, the awkward questions, the good times and the curve balls. Underlying all of that for me is the feeling of personal growth, almost like an awakening. 7 months has put me closer to the end than to the beginning of the year and I feel I am slowly gaining a little perspective. Enough to recognise that my life is richer in almost every way since I took this decision back in April even though at the time I didn't really expect to get this far. Part of me wanted this but I don't think I could really envisage an enriching life without alcohol in it. How confused I was!!

The Christmas break will be a big test but I've made it through a lot of big tests already. I guess it's fair to say that I am wary but confident. With the right sort of support we can all make it through together! Another first (of many, I hope!!)

Take care guys and sorry for such rambling reflections!!!!
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Old 11-24-2015, 03:14 AM
  # 446 (permalink)  
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Amp, you have grown so much. You sound just about right - happy with the results of your decision and an awareness of the continuing care we all need to exercise.

It surely does get easier after awhile! Staying mindful about alcohol doesn't mean staying tense about it. Last night I had dinner with 3 people who all had wine. I had a very tiny moment of wishing I could drink and then found myself immediately countering with thinking "gosh no, I don't want to go there". It wasn't strong enough to label as a craving. I love my life the way it is now :-)
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Old 11-24-2015, 03:46 AM
  # 447 (permalink)  
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Good morning Undies! 4 weeks down and a fairly important court date tomorrow. I'm not prepared but up early enough to do something about That. Organizational skills are not the best (if it were a house I'd have it built in my head before getting to the job but paperwork and presentation are not my forte'). Glad I'm sober as this would never have even happened drunk--I would be just mad and ranting about how I am a victim. Today I have a chance to move forward--I think I'll embrace that if nothing else. Onward!
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Old 11-24-2015, 05:05 AM
  # 448 (permalink)  
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Good morning. It's back to work after a long weekend. I easily made it through without any cravings. I have been making a cup of green tea in the evening and I think that helps. I feel good this morning and I do feel like I'm making progress.

Congratulations on four weeks zombob! I wish for the best on your court date.

Amp- I'm looking forward as well to all of the firsts yet to come!

Have a good day everyone!
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Old 11-24-2015, 06:46 AM
  # 449 (permalink)  
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Good morning all!

Day 17 starting here!

AMP- while I'm sure the holidays with your family will be a new challenge, I think you've got your head on pretty straight and will sail through!

Good luck in court today Zombob

Saskia-I feel the same way about cigarettes. (Quit 25 +years ago after 2.5 packs a day). When I'm near people while out smoking every once in awhile I would want to take a puff, but it has no real appeal. I think drinking would hold more because of the instant gratification. I pray the day comes when it's just a passing thought and not a craving! (Maybe next week? Haha)

Have a great day undies!
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Old 11-24-2015, 07:34 AM
  # 450 (permalink)  
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Just popping in to say HI! to my favorite peeps! Have a wonderful Tuesday! ((Hug))!
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Old 11-24-2015, 07:53 AM
  # 451 (permalink)  
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KIR, the cravings really do get better. When I quit drinking in 1998 it wasn't too bad after the first month and I stayed sober for most of 13 years. The last 3 of those years I had one drink per year and that was a big mistake! I didn't work my recovery the way I am doing this time and I'm now more aware that I don't ever want to take my sobriety for granted again.
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Old 11-24-2015, 08:00 AM
  # 452 (permalink)  
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Hi undies.
I have lots to catch up on here that I'll do after womp today.
Had a busy weekend hanging with friends which was fun. Can't believe it's already been a whole 30 days again for me.

Off to womp. Hope everyone has a nice day
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Old 11-24-2015, 08:33 AM
  # 453 (permalink)  
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Hope everyone is having a good day
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Old 11-24-2015, 09:36 AM
  # 454 (permalink)  
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Hi guys!
An amazing thing just happened. I was sitting in my office at my language school and a delivery guy arrived with a huge bouquet of beautiful flowers. This struck me as really odd as it was nobody's birthday or any thing like that. We didn't want to open them because we thought it might be a mistake or something so we phoned the florist's who is in Barcelona (over a thousand km from here). Anyway, he said they were sent by John Smith (not real name), a teacher at a local language school. You won't believe how happy this made me feel! I opened the package and inside was a note reading:

Dear Friends,
This year I give thanks to you for helping me pass one of life's exams.
Happy Thanksgiving,
John

So, I'll start at the beginning. On Monday the 20th April this year, after a boozey, messed up weekend, I decided to give up drinking. It was something that had been coming for some time but I hadn't quite got it right. On that particular Monday I redoubled my resolve and decided that, whatever happened, I wasn't going to drink that day. Well, that particular day turned out to be a day from hell as one of my teachers, an American called John Smith, failed to turn up to work. We couldn't get him by phone either so, after working his shift for him, I decided to look up his address on our records and try to find him. He hadn't been working for us very long but I'd been mentoring him and I was worried that something may have happened to him as he seemed to be a really professional, organised and dedicated guy.

I was really surprised when I arrived at his address to find it was a halfway-house for people overcoming addiction or just out of jail. I talked with the manager who said that John had been overcoming an addiction issue but had been due to move out the following week. He was devastated because he'd seen that John had gone back onto the drink and was refusing to come back to the house. if he didn't come back in 24 hours he would lose his place and wind up on the street. The manager couldn't believe it because John had been doing so well in every sense. I, of course, couldn't believe it either. I would never have suspected that this was his "home" situation. I just knew he was divorced and lived alone.

I drove around looking for him that evening but didn't find him until 2 days later. He was in a mess. Seriously lost. He'd been in a fight and his clothes were messed up and he was wasted though it was only mid-morning. I bought him coffee and food and got him into a local hostal and then one of our secretaries who trained as a social worker managed to get him onto a state funded rehab program a couple of weeks later which he thankfully took up. I met up with him a few times and talked to him about recovery, I explained my own situation too. Maybe it helped. He came by to say thanks one day in July and he was kind of cleaned up but I hadn't heard from him since. I didn't know how it had worked out for him... until now!

One of the reasons I've been able to be so dedicated to my own recovery was because I didn't want the same to happen to me as had happened to John. I'm so happy that he's doing ok and that he has found employment. Life really does give second chances!

I just thought I'd share this here because it shows that miracles can happen. Each one of us in our own way can continue to prove that point!!!
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Old 11-24-2015, 09:45 AM
  # 455 (permalink)  
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Amp, that is awesome...what a story that is reality for you. Thank you for sharing. I would feel great too..that's amazing!
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Old 11-24-2015, 02:13 PM
  # 456 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
Hi guys!
An amazing thing just happened. I was sitting in my office at my language school and a delivery guy arrived with a huge bouquet of beautiful flowers. This struck me as really odd as it was nobody's birthday or any thing like that. We didn't want to open them because we thought it might be a mistake or something so we phoned the florist's who is in Barcelona (over a thousand km from here). Anyway, he said they were sent by John Smith (not real name), a teacher at a local language school. You won't believe how happy this made me feel! I opened the package and inside was a note reading:

Dear Friends,
This year I give thanks to you for helping me pass one of life's exams.
Happy Thanksgiving,
John

So, I'll start at the beginning. On Monday the 20th April this year, after a boozey, messed up weekend, I decided to give up drinking. It was something that had been coming for some time but I hadn't quite got it right. On that particular Monday I redoubled my resolve and decided that, whatever happened, I wasn't going to drink that day. Well, that particular day turned out to be a day from hell as one of my teachers, an American called John Smith, failed to turn up to work. We couldn't get him by phone either so, after working his shift for him, I decided to look up his address on our records and try to find him. He hadn't been working for us very long but I'd been mentoring him and I was worried that something may have happened to him as he seemed to be a really professional, organised and dedicated guy.

I was really surprised when I arrived at his address to find it was a halfway-house for people overcoming addiction or just out of jail. I talked with the manager who said that John had been overcoming an addiction issue but had been due to move out the following week. He was devastated because he'd seen that John had gone back onto the drink and was refusing to come back to the house. if he didn't come back in 24 hours he would lose his place and wind up on the street. The manager couldn't believe it because John had been doing so well in every sense. I, of course, couldn't believe it either. I would never have suspected that this was his "home" situation. I just knew he was divorced and lived alone.

I drove around looking for him that evening but didn't find him until 2 days later. He was in a mess. Seriously lost. He'd been in a fight and his clothes were messed up and he was wasted though it was only mid-morning. I bought him coffee and food and got him into a local hostal and then one of our secretaries who trained as a social worker managed to get him onto a state funded rehab program a couple of weeks later which he thankfully took up. I met up with him a few times and talked to him about recovery, I explained my own situation too. Maybe it helped. He came by to say thanks one day in July and he was kind of cleaned up but I hadn't heard from him since. I didn't know how it had worked out for him... until now!

One of the reasons I've been able to be so dedicated to my own recovery was because I didn't want the same to happen to me as had happened to John. I'm so happy that he's doing ok and that he has found employment. Life really does give second chances!

I just thought I'd share this here because it shows that miracles can happen. Each one of us in our own way can continue to prove that point!!!
Awesome story!!!!
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Old 11-24-2015, 02:14 PM
  # 457 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BoozeFree View Post
Hi undies.
I have lots to catch up on here that I'll do after womp today.
Had a busy weekend hanging with friends which was fun. Can't believe it's already been a whole 30 days again for me.

Off to womp. Hope everyone has a nice day
Hi Booze---at the risk of sounding terribly stupid....What is womp? (Working on my program?)
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Old 11-24-2015, 02:40 PM
  # 458 (permalink)  
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LOL I like that better than what it actually means Never...I'll let BF explain tho

D
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:31 PM
  # 459 (permalink)  
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That is a good one, KIR!

Amp, what a wonderful result :-). You really made a difference for someone else and it helped you, too!
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Old 11-24-2015, 04:45 PM
  # 460 (permalink)  
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KIR - Congrats on day 17. I had cravings for a while, and sometimes they were stronger than others. Recovery is progressive, though, and in time they will probably diminish. When I work on my program (not BoozeFree's meaning of womp, but I agree with Dee in that your suggestion is a good one), it keeps space between me and booze so that I don't succumb to cravings.

Oh and it's just a little Undie inside joke to call work "womp." BoozeFree coined this, referring to the downer sound effect womp-womp, which she equates with going to work. (Did I get it right?)

Zombob - I read gratitude, humility and honesty in your post. Like you, in addiction I very much saw myself as a victim. When I was arrested for a DUI, my talk track was that there was a corrupt small town police force. Nope, turns out it was just that I hit some construction materials on the side of road with my car when I was drunk. AA has taught me to honestly admit what I did, humbly realize that it was wrong, and be grateful that the only thing I damaged was my car. Good luck in court and keep sharing your serene perspective on life with us.

BoozeFree - Way to go on your ongoing sobriety. I'm glad you're having fun.

WWS - You sound so focused and centered. Have you always been that way?

Amp - Please keep rambling on! I enjoy your musings on recovery.

Your story about John Smith's relapse brought tears to my eyes. What an intense experience on your first Day 1 that stuck.

I know what you mean though about learning through other alcoholics' experiences. Just like I see how I relate to other people's stories, I take heed from their relapses or bottoms. When for example Saskia traces her relapse back to allowing herself one drink a year, and resolves never allow alcohol back into her life again, it strengthens my resolve to never drink again. Carlos' story (his user name is IWLSAST, for the newer members of the thread) is similar too, where one drink after 11 1/2 years was a gateway to losing what he held dear. It makes sense to me that the terrible circumstances that John Smith found himself in after his bender would strengthen your resolve never to drink again.

As we head into Thanksgiving in the US, I want to share how thankful I am for the collective support and wisdom of the Undies. We help me stay sober one day at a time.
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