One Year and Under Club Part 49
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Wow!!!
Amazing growth is happening here.
I usually read and post in several threads here and each has a different flavor. What I love about the Undies is seeing the incredible growth happening here. At times things go along from day-to-day and then suddenly, there are amazing thoughts being expressed. I get so much from this thread. One year sober isn't a dividing line, we just keep on learning and growing.
I'm very grateful to all of you!
Amazing growth is happening here.
I usually read and post in several threads here and each has a different flavor. What I love about the Undies is seeing the incredible growth happening here. At times things go along from day-to-day and then suddenly, there are amazing thoughts being expressed. I get so much from this thread. One year sober isn't a dividing line, we just keep on learning and growing.
I'm very grateful to all of you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Thanks so much to everyone for sharing your experiences. For me, just getting past the 60 day mark it is comforting to know that all of you are going through similar things as we progress through the stages of recovery. All of your posts are spot on and very encouraging.
There is certainly something special about this thread and all of you are helping me a lot!
There is certainly something special about this thread and all of you are helping me a lot!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
I missed alcohol a lot the first year. I missed how it numbed my emotions so that I didn't have to deal with the issues I had, or the day to day concerns. It seemed to help with my unhappiness and gave me an escape. I was the life and soul of every party, and thought I needed it to lubricate social situations.
I was not 'happy' though as always my glass was still mostly half full. I had a lot of repressed feelings to try to get a handle on and I had to deal with those emotions that I no longer numbed.
While I still appreciate external validation, from husband, family and friends, I no longer seek it so desperately. I have internal validation. I am a good, loving, caring person. Generous with time and belongings. I pass forward when I can and am belatedly using my gift to make more of my life with my writing. I don't berate myself for the lost decades, what's done is done and my experience both during those drinking years and in my recovery have helped others. I feel better about myself, I have a sense of achievement with every milestone passed, whether others acknowledge them or not. I look in the mirror and like - love - the person I see there. It has been and will be a work in progress, and some days continue to be harder than others, but I have never wished to go back to being the selfish self absorbed person I was.
Funny, when we first stop drinking we have to almost become even more self centred, as everything revolves around ensuring we stay sober, but if in our sobriety, we work on the person we are, work on becoming the person we feel we can be, then whilst we absorb the love and recognition of our loved ones, we know who we are and don't need constant confirmation of our place in the world.
There are many many people with issues, people who never look into their hearts and see a need for change. Some of those people may even have a drink problem. Not all. Not by a long shot. No one is perfect, some of us are working on being a new improved model of who we were Toots 2.0, others believe the world was made just for them and as it revolves around them there is no need for them to change.
I have found that the most successful in recovery are those that look at themselves, look at their lives and realise they could live better. Becoming the person they want to be,more aching to attain that, distances them from the unhappiness that was integral in their addiction.
You are all helping, listening, supporting and learning day on day, and it doesn't stop, being here, being a part of this keeps me focussed on becoming.
I was not 'happy' though as always my glass was still mostly half full. I had a lot of repressed feelings to try to get a handle on and I had to deal with those emotions that I no longer numbed.
While I still appreciate external validation, from husband, family and friends, I no longer seek it so desperately. I have internal validation. I am a good, loving, caring person. Generous with time and belongings. I pass forward when I can and am belatedly using my gift to make more of my life with my writing. I don't berate myself for the lost decades, what's done is done and my experience both during those drinking years and in my recovery have helped others. I feel better about myself, I have a sense of achievement with every milestone passed, whether others acknowledge them or not. I look in the mirror and like - love - the person I see there. It has been and will be a work in progress, and some days continue to be harder than others, but I have never wished to go back to being the selfish self absorbed person I was.
Funny, when we first stop drinking we have to almost become even more self centred, as everything revolves around ensuring we stay sober, but if in our sobriety, we work on the person we are, work on becoming the person we feel we can be, then whilst we absorb the love and recognition of our loved ones, we know who we are and don't need constant confirmation of our place in the world.
There are many many people with issues, people who never look into their hearts and see a need for change. Some of those people may even have a drink problem. Not all. Not by a long shot. No one is perfect, some of us are working on being a new improved model of who we were Toots 2.0, others believe the world was made just for them and as it revolves around them there is no need for them to change.
I have found that the most successful in recovery are those that look at themselves, look at their lives and realise they could live better. Becoming the person they want to be,more aching to attain that, distances them from the unhappiness that was integral in their addiction.
You are all helping, listening, supporting and learning day on day, and it doesn't stop, being here, being a part of this keeps me focussed on becoming.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Key congrats on 4 months!
Toots great post.
I've been keeping busy this week. Had sun thru tues off. Had some fun at the casino and won some more too, went to a concert, hung out ect.
Womp was super busy today which was a good distraction as today marks a year since my best friend died from all his drinking at the age of 38. I did have some cravings pop into my head a few times but tried to not dwell on them for too long.
Off to bed for this undie!
Toots great post.
I've been keeping busy this week. Had sun thru tues off. Had some fun at the casino and won some more too, went to a concert, hung out ect.
Womp was super busy today which was a good distraction as today marks a year since my best friend died from all his drinking at the age of 38. I did have some cravings pop into my head a few times but tried to not dwell on them for too long.
Off to bed for this undie!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
BF, "anniversaries" like that can be so rough. I'm glad you made it past the cravings.
Toots, great post! I'm beginning to find that I worry much less about what others think and at the same time I care more about others. I'm also just beginning to get better at setting boundaries earlier and more quietly rather than waiting until total frustration sets in and then explode.
WWS, you hit it - there is something very special about this thread. That's why I stay here. It seems to go in cycles and sometimes it gets fairly quiet but then ticks up again. Lately it has been really good. I still read and sometimes respond in Newcomers' but too much of that can at times be heartbreaking. This thoughtful group reinforces for me how much I appreciate where I am now.
Toots, great post! I'm beginning to find that I worry much less about what others think and at the same time I care more about others. I'm also just beginning to get better at setting boundaries earlier and more quietly rather than waiting until total frustration sets in and then explode.
WWS, you hit it - there is something very special about this thread. That's why I stay here. It seems to go in cycles and sometimes it gets fairly quiet but then ticks up again. Lately it has been really good. I still read and sometimes respond in Newcomers' but too much of that can at times be heartbreaking. This thoughtful group reinforces for me how much I appreciate where I am now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
I agree Saskia. This group is especially good. I've been lucky with my home group too which is still going well after 7 months. Hey! Just checked the date! I make 7 months tomorrow! That feels really good!
Anyway, guys, a privilege to be part of this group with all of you!
Have a great day!
Anyway, guys, a privilege to be part of this group with all of you!
Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Undies
I love this thread too. There's a strong discussion here!
Key - As painful as your self reflection and honesty have been, the transformation to a happy sober person is right around the corner. Just look at those of us who kept at it!
Fradley - You've got a lot on your plate! Honestly though I felt flat too when I stopped drinking - and so, so tired. Like you, though life started to sort out. Even though I didn't feel all that great, I could see that things were looking up. I'm so grateful for the people who told me to keep at it, who promised the best was yet to come.
Amp - I relate to so much of what you share. A lot of my recovery process has been spent in reflection, for understanding what my motives truly are, for seeing myself as I actually am. I'm so glad you're reaping the same benefits of your hard work as I do - freedom, peace, and joy.
Saskia - I so relate to being less worried about people but caring about them more. I never thought this kind of confidence would be attainable for me. I thought I was permanently broken by my family of origin.
WWS - Great job keeping going.
Toots - You definitely have a gift of connecting with people. We are very fortunate that you share it here.
BoozeFree - Sorry you're dealing with this sad anniversary. I admire how you keep coming back, sharing, and trying to beat your alcoholism. I was never able to stop until I realized alcoholism was more powerful than I was.
Today I'm glad I didn't add any booze to my alcoholism. I was challenged in a bunch of different ways at work. I stayed calm, measured and professional, which I didn't know how to do when I was drunk or hungover.
Have a great day!!
I love this thread too. There's a strong discussion here!
Key - As painful as your self reflection and honesty have been, the transformation to a happy sober person is right around the corner. Just look at those of us who kept at it!
Fradley - You've got a lot on your plate! Honestly though I felt flat too when I stopped drinking - and so, so tired. Like you, though life started to sort out. Even though I didn't feel all that great, I could see that things were looking up. I'm so grateful for the people who told me to keep at it, who promised the best was yet to come.
Amp - I relate to so much of what you share. A lot of my recovery process has been spent in reflection, for understanding what my motives truly are, for seeing myself as I actually am. I'm so glad you're reaping the same benefits of your hard work as I do - freedom, peace, and joy.
Saskia - I so relate to being less worried about people but caring about them more. I never thought this kind of confidence would be attainable for me. I thought I was permanently broken by my family of origin.
WWS - Great job keeping going.
Toots - You definitely have a gift of connecting with people. We are very fortunate that you share it here.
BoozeFree - Sorry you're dealing with this sad anniversary. I admire how you keep coming back, sharing, and trying to beat your alcoholism. I was never able to stop until I realized alcoholism was more powerful than I was.
Today I'm glad I didn't add any booze to my alcoholism. I was challenged in a bunch of different ways at work. I stayed calm, measured and professional, which I didn't know how to do when I was drunk or hungover.
Have a great day!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Good morning everyone! I have four days off of work! do feel good this morning. I feel like I'm making some progress although I know I have a long way to go.
I really haven't had any strong cravings lately but I just looked through my strategy do deal with them when they come.
Great post toots! Thanks for the inspiration!
Congratulations on 7 months Amp!
BoozeFree- sorry about your friend. Alcohol has taken way too many lives early
I really haven't had any strong cravings lately but I just looked through my strategy do deal with them when they come.
Great post toots! Thanks for the inspiration!
Congratulations on 7 months Amp!
BoozeFree- sorry about your friend. Alcohol has taken way too many lives early
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Heya guys! Hope this Friday finds you well! I am hanging in there, I am doing well. I pay attention to how well I am actually doing and it's leap and bounds compared to where I was. I do remember people talking of the flat time of 3-6 months. It's ok. I am self discovering, working it out, putting better things in place. I know I will be ok. I do have moments happiness and I am blessed in so many ways. Some of my troubles are self inflicted and I am working on making that silent. After years of being negative and telling myself negative things, it just takes time and practice. I know I am worth all of this effort. I am worth good things. I am worthy of love, compassion, and caring form others. I push people away a lot. I guess that's form years of fear of abandonment and all the baggage. I have to let that GO. I am trying. I am thinking, I just started to go to church again. I may have to go to an AA meeting and actually find a sponsor. I also am thinking I may need to go talk to a therapist. So, lots going on, but it only further demonstrates my need to get well and be better at being me.
I am a widow again this weekend as my trucker is off hunting again.
I may go stay with a friend and finish up most of my Christmas shopping. Check in later, taters! Thank you for being so kind and supportive. ((Hug))!!
I am a widow again this weekend as my trucker is off hunting again.
I may go stay with a friend and finish up most of my Christmas shopping. Check in later, taters! Thank you for being so kind and supportive. ((Hug))!!
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