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Class of April 2014 Part 23

Old 12-31-2015, 08:52 AM
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Happy New Year to you All!! I am back from my early appointment & all the kiddos are still sleeping. I will be taking them home around noon today. I'm thinking of going out tonight, but likely will just settle in here in front of the fireplace.
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Old 12-31-2015, 11:52 AM
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Still here.

I guess it's New Years down under, happy New Year Dee and obo.

To the rest of us have a happy, sober and SAFE New Year's eve / New Year.

To any going to a party tonight, be extra vigilant on the roads.
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Old 12-31-2015, 01:52 PM
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We're staying in. I like my bed too much to stay up late. Unfortunately our neighbours have started the music already, no doubt we'll be woken up with fireworks later, bah humbug!

I do love New Years day though, a new start, a whole year ahead to make some changes.

We bought a new computer today, and there's a few teething problems. Hopefully I'll be able sort it out properly tomorrow, but it's a bit frustrating to say the least. Computers have moved on so much, I'm well behind the times. I have no clue, and I'm meant to be the technical person in this household!

I hope they turn the noise down soon next door!

Happy, peaceful New year to everyone.
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Old 12-31-2015, 02:33 PM
  # 484 (permalink)  
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I really hope the new year brings a new start.

I don't feel like I'm terribly important to anyone anymore. Other than my stepmom and stepsister I kinda just exist in people's lives.

I'm NOT suicidal but I feel like there is nothing left to live for.
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Old 12-31-2015, 03:14 PM
  # 485 (permalink)  
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what do you do in your life tho UP - do you feel as if you have a life worth living?
if not? why not?

D
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Old 12-31-2015, 04:46 PM
  # 486 (permalink)  
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Actually, no.

It seems like no matter how hard I try things always turn out bad.
I'm a major introvert, so I don't like to go hang out with strangers.
I seem to be the common denominator. Perhaps I'm meant to spend the rest of my life alone trudging from one day to the next.
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Old 12-31-2015, 04:50 PM
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I'm a pretty solitary person but I feel I have a full life.

Maybe this is the year to counter that negative self talk, start forgiving yourself, and start working towards a life you want to lead Up?

D
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Old 12-31-2015, 04:52 PM
  # 488 (permalink)  
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.

Happy New Year everyone !

Hope y'all can get some sleep Freein later ,...... the weather tonight is 90% rain !!
That forecast is like Tupelo Honey !!!!!!!

It's quiet here at work ( so far ) ,.... less than 4 hours till midnight.

Up, ....I don't know if it would help, .. but it helps me to visualize doing something so far out of character when I get the blues. Things like taking a bike ride across the country to California,...or hiking the Appalachian Trail from Ga. to Maine.

Another outlandish idea I had was to take the skiff down the intracoastal waterway around Miami, up the Gulf Coast and head up the Mississippi River to St. Louis.
None of those ideas are remotely feasible,...since I have to work this job !?! But they're fun, and harmless in an escapist sort of way.

The upside , of course , is planting a seed to get off my *ss and ride a little , or take the staircases here at work again, ...or get out on the river more than I do.

Tonight is day 7 on a 10 day work stretch. Had time to do one of my favorite things before work today ,.....change the oil and filter on a scooter !!
They want ya to clean this air filter screen on the transmission at the same time. Still need to detail the wheels whenever we get a sunny day.

Hope you have a good evening Mariah,....and everyone in our class !



Rolling into 2016 clean and sober is yuuuuuge !
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Old 12-31-2015, 05:10 PM
  # 489 (permalink)  
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The negative self talk is so deeply ingrained, since childhood. Thanks dad for starting that when I was a kid plus others in my life.

Unfortunately the life I want to lead is not reliant just on me. Maybe that is the problem. I just need to accept that I may never have that life.
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Old 12-31-2015, 07:57 PM
  # 490 (permalink)  
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Happy New Year Fools....so glad you are all here, your support & presence is huge for me!! I opted to go visit Grandsons for a bit, get some ice cream & stay in for the night other than being available to pick teen Son up if he needs a ride.

I too am an introvert Up......I think it is the #1 reason I've had difficulty in the work area this last year & why I am going on about 18 years single. i know that I am going to have to put myself out there, if I want that to change & I really do. Our thoughts are deeply ingrained....my Mom was very critical of Us When we were growing & can never remember her showing any affection....I remember as a teenager thinking that she hated me. I have talked about, & looked at cognitive behavior therapy to help me "correct" my thinking from I'm unlovable & incompetent to I'm lovable & competent. I know people spend years & a lot of money on counseling for that sort of thing but I really think it comes down to forgiving ourselves & changing that thinking, no one else can do that for us. I am going to start with simple index cards placed on my bathroom mirror. I am lovable & competent. So glad you are here with us Up...Happy New Year friend!!

Getting some text from teen Son telling me his girlfriend won't be around any more & that he will probably need a ride....he just gave her a promise ring on Christmas. I hope he is OK....told him I'm here & can get him whenever he needs me to
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Old 12-31-2015, 08:21 PM
  # 491 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ScrewdUpInDe View Post
The negative self talk is so deeply ingrained, since childhood. Thanks dad for starting that when I was a kid plus others in my life.

Unfortunately the life I want to lead is not reliant just on me. Maybe that is the problem. I just need to accept that I may never have that life.
I think we can reject the negative self talk ingrained or imposed us by others...it's not easy but it can be done UP.

The other part is a little harder than that again.

I had to accept some relationships were not healed and would not likely be any time soon.

If I put my life on hold waiting for them to heal I'd be basically in the same position I was when I was drinking, just sober, with all that sadness.

It's ok to regret that, or even take the blame for it, but not if all your energy is invested in beating yourself up over and over again.

I hope 2016 will be the year you decide to do what's best for you and move on Up. Moving on isn't about giving up hope, its about accepting that waiting, treading water, is doing you no good at all.

You need a new life, new dreams,. new mountains and climb and new beginnings.

You need to work out who sober you is - he's not the guy that you used to be.

D
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Old 12-31-2015, 08:32 PM
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Thanks everyone.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:08 PM
  # 493 (permalink)  
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Happy New Year ... officially on the east coast.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:30 PM
  # 494 (permalink)  
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You too UP

D
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Old 12-31-2015, 11:47 PM
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How does it feel Freein !?!
Is the sun shining ?

Just leaving work, .....and it feels great to be sober on January 1st.

Now , to get some sleep !?!
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Old 12-31-2015, 11:56 PM
  # 496 (permalink)  
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There's a lovely video by Brother Steindl Rast on u- tube called "a good day". It's worth a watch if you have time UP. Beautiful pictures, and his voice is very gentle, loving and calming.

Love can come from the most unexpected places - usually not from those close to us (as that "love" is often purely conditional).
Best of all, love can come from within ourselves. I'm still working on this !
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Old 01-01-2016, 12:02 AM
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Hi Tops, the suns not up yet, but it sounds windy and wet out there! I'm just about to see if I can download ms office on to the computer again. I want to get it up and running today if possible.

2016 is here, feels good so far!
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Old 01-01-2016, 10:46 AM
  # 498 (permalink)  
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Happy New Year, Fools!
I hope this year brings all kinds of good things to all of you.
It's been a very busy season for me, and I'm glad the holidays are done for the year. My 6 week show went very well, and as tired as I am of making things, I have some new ideas I need to start on before I forget them. I've been working at the shelter a lot, it's been a cold few months here, and I was there on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and last night. I think it's the first time since this program started that it was cold enough for us to be open on all 3 holidays. I'm going in tonight, too, but it looks like it's going to warm up enough that we'll be closed for the rest of the week. Last month we had a night that we couldn't open because we didn't have enough volunteers to make it happen, and the TV news and local newspaper ran stories about it, and we had such a huge turnout at our next volunteer training that people were turned away. We now have about 300 newly trained volunteers, which is very encouraging.
My former father in law died suddenly a few days before Christmas, and I went to the coast a few days ago for his funeral. It was the first time I had seen any of my ex husband's family since he and I split, and I was nervous about how I would be received, but I am still a part of my ex's support system, and I felt like I needed to be there for him. It turned out to be a really good experience, and I'm glad I went. It was good to see every one of his family members, and they were glad to see me, too. I had really missed my niece and nephews on that side, and seeing them was wonderful, as was realizing that I can still be their aunt, even if I'm not with their uncle anymore. As sad as the occasion was, it turned out to be very healing for me.
I am looking forward to a very uneventful January. I don't plan to leave town for more than a day until I go east in Feb, and I have almost nothing scheduled until then, so I plan to read a lot, purge a lot of my stuff, and start a new exercise DVD program that i have wanted for a long time, but wasn't willing to pay for. It was a daily deal on Amazon yesterday at 65% off, which brought it into my price range. The timing was perfect, I am really tired of the various workout DVDs I already have.
I'm in for your 2016 bargain, Dee.
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Old 01-01-2016, 07:31 PM
  # 499 (permalink)  
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Happy New Year Adna! Glad you have this month to take it easy & sounds like you are off & running in a good direction!

Was a beautiful day here....blue skies. Drove up to the ski resort where Sons were snowboarding, did t stay as I was dog sitting...just took some things to them they needed.

I did end up going out last night while killing time to pick Son up (alls well with he & his girl).....I have not been out to the bar for probably 6 months & although I didn't drink, I kind of let my self down for going....I don't belong there anymore.

New Year & new beginnings.
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Old 01-01-2016, 07:40 PM
  # 500 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry for your loss adna.
yeah I don't belong there anymore either Mariah

D
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