KeyofC

Hey everyone
Benice, good to hear from you. I was wondering about you too ((hug))!
I'm here just laying low..just feel quiet, but I'm doing good.
Hope everyone is doing well..we've all been a bit quiet.
So "hey" to yall ((hug)) Keep hanging in there!

kittycat3

Happy Monday all!
I am on day 11 now. Wow!
Went on a date last night, first time with this fellow. I always over agonize about the big reveal on my not drinking and this night was no exception. Do I just confess before we meet, do I just order water and hope he doesn't inquire, etc. this time it was beautiful, we sat down and he pulled out a menu and asked if I drank. I said nope! And he said "whoaaa!" in a very impressed way, kind of charming. And later I clarified that it suits me better, when he was talking about his decision to quit drinking whiskey and beer. How refreshing. And yes I know my anxiety is uncalled for, regardless of my date's reaction.

Felt good to be honest and not deflect by indicating my not drinking was only temporary and to get it out of the way on the first date! (Usually I like coffee dates for first dates, in part to avoid this very topic.) but then sometimes it is the same awkward exchange on the 2nd date. The older I get the less this is an issue (I'm in my late 30s). But I still get the occasional date that wants to know the "story".....plus, given my recent relapses, I can't say I've been sober for "that" long, and I don't need to explain myself for that right now....

Anyway, sober dating can be fun. So glad everything I did last night was well within my normal range of activities I know had I opted to drink a few beers, I'd have acted overly flirtatious or said things I regret....and worst of all, not let him see the real me.

Xo, kitty

patricia68

Happy Monday!

I've been thinking a lot about negativity and how it affects me. I live with a very negative, the glass is always empty, the end of the world is coming husband. It affects me so bad that I think I should add an extra H to HALT (husband, hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Today we took the dog for a walk. It's a beautiful Fall day. The colours of the trees are stunning. He complained the entire time. Winter is coming. The neighbours are dumb. The government, the elections, the whole world is out there to ruin his life...

I can't take it anymore.

I can't make him change. But I can change how I react...I just don't know how...

Clownbaby

She's not admitting to alcoholism or trying to quit. She's never sought help her addiction. She just gets really sick and has to be hospitalized for side effects of drinking too much. She's usually just so messed up, she's barely coherent, so it was nice to have a conversation with her....despite weeding through the lies.

"if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living"~Gail Sheehy

TroyW

Oh no, by no means do I consider beer ok any longer. Last time I thought it was ok, I ended up putting down 8L of whiskey, and went through one hell of a detox.

It's just I can't sit around the house by myself, that's all. I don't have to do anything special, just have to be out around people. That seems to be enough to keep things in perspective for me. I'll go down today and buy a pair of shoes and some socks. If I need to go into town after public transport ends at 6pm, I can just walk / jog -- it's only about 6km so not bad.

It's kind of a catch 22 for me. Work from home, any given day have 500 hours that needs to be completed "yesterday", but can't stay at home. Balance, need to find balance.

Then in a few days I'll start the process of getting my teeth fixed. Once that's done, I can start rebuilding my life. Not really willing to do much until they're fixed though.

lovehoops

Hi all,

Just enough time to quickly catch up on posts and wish everyone a sober Tuesday.
Troy, glad to see you are posting and be nice, glad you're back.
Patricia...my husband is exactly the same "glass half full " guy. He is always down bc his business is struggling . It's hard to take and hard to redirect my own thinking and attitude..keep smiling and stay on track!!!!

Have a great day everyone!!!

KeyofC

Posted this in the wrong thread ugh... Here it is!

Today is my day 78! I am doing just super! Just working on me. Trying to not be so "in your face" all the time here so I can tone it down a bit for everyone.
Just living life is all. So happy for all the changes in my life. I was involved in a thread about positive changes. Really made me dig a little deeper. I think at this point I am searching for something that makes me happy. Something for me. It used to be singing. That was my everything. Alcohol crawled into my singing world that I worked hard to protect. I guess I'm thinking "it's mine! I don't have to share that with you! I'm keeping my singing voice to myself..ha!" I miss it so bad but something has stopped me in my tracks. I'm trying to either figure out why this is happening or find something else because we all deserve something that makes our individual person happy. It can't always be another person and I was me before I was a mother and a wife.
Anyway just a thought. Most are doing well~good for you!
Those struggling you got people here who care, don't give up! ((Hug))!

JL2014

Failed.
Both kids sick now. Dr says virus, so no antibiotics. Fever and swollen tonsils both. I failed. Pretty low about it. No excuses. I'm tired of living like this and I'm not gonna do it anymore. Friday will be the trigger, like usual. Will find something to do to get past it.

JL2014

I will beat this

TroyW

Sorry to hear it JL, and sorry that your kids are so sick. I can just imagine how stressful that must be.

This sobriety thing sure it quite the battle, isn't it? Worth it though. Hang in there, you got this.

kittycat3

Emotional today. But feeling tentatively peaceful about sobriety and the path ahead.
I quit smoking, and I think the loss of that crutch (as well as the sobriety from booze) is drudging up a lot of buried feelings. It's not been easy but it feels so good to purge it.

Thankful for a sober day ahead.

JL I'm so sorry you are struggling. How can we help you? Yes you can beat this if you want it bad enough and don't let the AV trick you when you are down.

KeyofC

This is a good thought for the day:

One of the things I've learned from being on SR and my sobriety is learning to show support to one another and being kind. People do post and offer their thoughts, it's only someone's opinion. I certainly only hope to let people know their not alone or maybe they won't feel like their crazy. I'm a big pill to swallow sometimes with being vocal, I mean only good because I care. Hard to know someone's tone in a post. Those are two great things that help everyone. Support, kindness. Have a wonderful day.

KeyofC

JL hope you all get well soon...it's no good when everyone is ill.
Kit I have said for many months now I don't see how everyone is quitting all their addictions at once. I have to tackle one thing at a time. I quit smoking about 8 years ago...at the time I didn't notice but it prolly contributed to me drinking even more. Maybe not. That would have reared it's ugly head at any point I'm sure, but it sure didn't help matters. Good luck with tackling more than one at a time! My family would evict me for sure...Lol
Hope anyone struggling finds support here. There are lots of great people with much wisdom and experience to share...hang in there!

JL2014

Thanks y'all. I'm going to look up some 5 minute workouts to beat down that stress.
I agree about feelings coming out. Mine are all the things I hid from for so long. My thing is, what does acknowledging each bad time or problem do? I can do that but I kind of don't know what to do about it except think " yeah that was bad".
Kind of negative think on purpose for me to do that.
I'm pretty much looking ahead these days. No looking back unless it'll help me somehow. I don't know if it does or not.

JL2014

I love our group !

KeyofC

I think we acknowledge it (the bad) so we don't keep reliving it. If we acknowledge it were not holding it in and we can deal with it, make our amends, or forgive, and move on. That's' just my opinion though. Some people need to know they're not crazy or over reacting. Some people need to know if this is their AV talking or if it's a real issue. Sure posting about normal daily activities are wonderful too. It's also nice to know people are doing great and moving along. I have those days more often now that I am going on longer sobriety..for me each day is better and brighter. Some people are having a much tougher time than I am and I think maybe they need to post about it to help in their recovery. As we learn better ways to cope with it, I think it subsides. Just my thoughts... Just shows us everyone is different which makes the world go round!

TroyW

Everyone's different, but for me at least, acknowledging, dealing with, and accepting the past is important, as it helps me become at peace with myself. Think of it as landscaping a beautiful yard. At first, you just start with a clay lot filled with rocks, garbage, and crap all over the place (the past). You need to clean all that out before you can start building your new yard.

That's how I view it at least, but again, everyone's different. Whatever works for you is what works.

KeyofC

Nice description! I could visualize that in my mind..cool!

Retread1959

I've heard self-improvement described as a garden hose: you leave it unattended for too long and there's all sorts of crap that builds up in there. When you finally turn on the water, guess what comes out before the water gets clean? All the crap. I think that's true of any time we're doing something that affects us like getting sober. All the crap comes out first.

Patricia, I can relate to the feeling of being around negativity all the time. My husband has some of those traits as well. It's annoying but I've decided that he can be whatever kind of stick-in-the-mud he wants to be and I'm just going to go ahead and do the things that bring joy into my life. He can come along if he wants to, or not. Fortunately for me he doesn't complain about what I do and I hope that being more positive will inspire him to be more positive, too.

JL, so sorry about the weekend. It's been hard for you. Please stick around and, yes, I love our group too.

As for me, I am officially on my own ; gave notice on Friday and due to having sick time banked was able to walk away that day. Feeling awesome. Worked on my own website all day yesterday and am now scheming to redo a few really ugly websites for people gratis so that they can serve as showcase sites for my work. I'm really excited about my new venture, but it's keeping me pretty much as busy as the old job did

KeyofC

Good for you Retread!