Class of September 2015 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by FaithfulAndFree 
Feeling pretty bad today, and I kinda want to continue on the self pity train but I know it's not productive so I'll get myself together and get back on track.
I find the whole bored/productive balance wickedly hard. On the one hand, I have so much going on at work and home that I think to myself, "How did I ever have time to drink." But then I catch myself pushing, trying to do it all, and worry that will tempt me to drink to shut off--to reward myself for working so hard.
Such a balancing act!
I hope you have a good day!Take care of yourself and give yourself an extra treat, whether that is flowers, a piece of chocolate or a nap (my favorite
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 223
I dread weekends since that is the hardest time for me not to drink. Thursday is usually the day I start since I work long hours Monday-Thursday. I have made a plan for my sister to visit, she knows I am alcoholic and is really supportive. I also found an AA group that I drive by on the way home. I've decided if I really feel like drinking I'm going to pull into the parking lot and walk in. I'm terrified of doing so but its better than that horrible hangover anxiety. Thanks all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Originally Posted by matilda123
Juno, how are you today? I'm behind in reading posts, and missed your post last night. Ironically, I stepped on the scale and thought the same thing, gosh, I've gained weight. On the one hand, I want to stay on top of it: I worked very hard to lose 25 pounds two years ago. Yet, on the other, I'm going to try to cut myself a bit of slack until I get more sober time under my belt. Upping the exercise would probably be my best approach now too.
Hope you have a great day!
Hope you have a great day!
I'm doing well today (so far) and got through the annoying cravings last night. Re: the weight loss, I'm planning to just make small changes right now. Add an extra treadmill workout or two each week, cut out the high calorie meal, cut out the dessert, etc. Maybe the small changes will add up to some weight loss for me. I'm hoping to drop 5 pounds over time - not instantly - should be doable!!! I think small changes are better than big changes at this time when we're trying to cut out alcohol, which is a major change in itself... Have a wonderful day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: New England
Posts: 19
Welcome back Facing Future! Faithful, glad you came back! Welcome Help! 10 days is awesome!
Clear Eyes, thank you! It really felt good to talk to my doc. No one really knows but my best friend and my fiance. They are super supportive but my fiance also has a drinking problem - very difficult for me since he usually drinks to blackout phase.
Tons of rain here and for the next few days. My garden is loving it! I thought I'd check in! I hope everyone is doing good! I love the support we get here - I don't feel alone in my battle!
Clear Eyes, thank you! It really felt good to talk to my doc. No one really knows but my best friend and my fiance. They are super supportive but my fiance also has a drinking problem - very difficult for me since he usually drinks to blackout phase.
Tons of rain here and for the next few days. My garden is loving it! I thought I'd check in! I hope everyone is doing good! I love the support we get here - I don't feel alone in my battle!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 10
So I'm sitting here alone, kids at school, husband out of town for work. I'm on day 3, I'm going through all the times I've hurt others, the mistakes I've made when I'm drunk and frankly, I'm thinking about ways I could drink tonight. The reality of what I've done is so painful I'm not sure I can make it without something….
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Lealea, I can so relate to what you are saying. We drink to forget, and sometimes that means we drink to forget what we've done when we were drinking.
I believe strongly that sobriety is the only path forward. Please hold tight and reach out if you feel like talking. Also, do you have someone there that you can talk to about your feelings? I find it can help.
I believe strongly that sobriety is the only path forward. Please hold tight and reach out if you feel like talking. Also, do you have someone there that you can talk to about your feelings? I find it can help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Matilda- I am very much like that ! Bored and u settled yet plenty to do. I find that when I'm not drinking I get harder and harder on myself for Things to be perfect, get it all done. Which leads to too much pressure , which leads to wanting to drink to lighten up a little.
It actually is making me wonder if Sunday was related to this. I slacked off and didn't exercise,
Then I had so many things I wanted/needed to get some but just didn't feel like it. I felt blah.
So I just said forget it and bought beer. Ugh.
It actually is making me wonder if Sunday was related to this. I slacked off and didn't exercise,
Then I had so many things I wanted/needed to get some but just didn't feel like it. I felt blah.
So I just said forget it and bought beer. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 10
I don't really as I haven't shared much of this with anyone yet. I'm reading a lot and spend a lot of time on here. It helps, and I get I'm going to feel crappy, that's why I always started drinking. I was feeling pretty good and motivated, a few things came back to be from my last night of drinking (sunday) which I can't fix. I HATE that. I can't stand to have someone mad at me. I have to remember this is my priority and whatever it takes to not drink is what I have to do. Kids might just get delivery pizza for dinner so I can stay on here….
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
, LeaLea. I think that delivery pizza sounds like a good plan. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself too. You are doing it! Doesn't it say something about this addiction that when we turn away from it than we beat ourselves up about things we've done when we're in the throes of it>
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Matilda-
It actually is making me wonder if Sunday was related to this. I slacked off and didn't exercise,
Then I had so many things I wanted/needed to get some but just didn't feel like it. I felt blah.
So I just said forget it and bought beer. Ugh.
It actually is making me wonder if Sunday was related to this. I slacked off and didn't exercise,
Then I had so many things I wanted/needed to get some but just didn't feel like it. I felt blah.
So I just said forget it and bought beer. Ugh.
I hope you have a good day, FBL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Beautiful Thursday morning here. The weather has been perfect since round Sunday. Warm days and cool nights with cloudless skies. Certainly makes it easier to feel positive.
I'm coming up to 4 weeks and hopefully next week I'll achieve a month. Making a month is a bit of a psychological border for me. It proves and show to myself so many things. Anxious to get there.
The deeper in time I get the easier it is to quickly and without fuss swat the cravings away. In saying that relapse is always around the corner. I made around 2 months in April/May and managed 100 days when I first joined.
I'm a morning person. I like beginnings mornings, Spring, new starts and positive thoughts, new chances to put the past behind us and achieve success. For those who are struggling the start of October brings a clean slate, a chance to nice again reinforce yourself.
Hope you all have a great, sober October ( in fact that actually rhymes).
I'm coming up to 4 weeks and hopefully next week I'll achieve a month. Making a month is a bit of a psychological border for me. It proves and show to myself so many things. Anxious to get there.
The deeper in time I get the easier it is to quickly and without fuss swat the cravings away. In saying that relapse is always around the corner. I made around 2 months in April/May and managed 100 days when I first joined.
I'm a morning person. I like beginnings mornings, Spring, new starts and positive thoughts, new chances to put the past behind us and achieve success. For those who are struggling the start of October brings a clean slate, a chance to nice again reinforce yourself.
Hope you all have a great, sober October ( in fact that actually rhymes).
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Thursday Morning.
Grumpy grumpy, tired.
Worked out, did a nice long walk, and then I stayed up til l12:20 reading and interneting. I'm the kind of person who is a monster on less than 8 hours, and also I wake up once or twice a night which makes it worse. So now I'm going to be a little screwy today and that makes me unhappy.
Oh well, small victories. Sober, exercised, and not hungover.
I can do it.
Have a good day everyone.
Grumpy grumpy, tired.
Worked out, did a nice long walk, and then I stayed up til l12:20 reading and interneting. I'm the kind of person who is a monster on less than 8 hours, and also I wake up once or twice a night which makes it worse. So now I'm going to be a little screwy today and that makes me unhappy.
Oh well, small victories. Sober, exercised, and not hungover.
I can do it.
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Originally Posted by Midton
I'm a morning person. I like beginnings mornings, Spring, new starts and positive thoughts, new chances to put the past behind us and achieve success.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
Thank you Matilda!! That helps make sense of posts!!! I have a village screaming for a drink RIGHT NOW!!! An eleven hour day, I'm beat, frustrated, hungry and my feet hurt.....tumbleweeds of wolfie fur skittering across the floor greet me coming thru the door, screaming GO GET THE VACUUM. I put my things away, picked up my tablet, kissed hubs on my way out the door and am presently venting. I am sober. I did not buy an adult beverage for a reward as I would have done two weeks ago. So here I sit with you in the grass, the cold water won't leave me saddened at my failure to change. The sun is shining, breezy, the mister in my butterfly garden giving off just enough to catch in the wind occasionally. Tiny industrious ants everywhere. I felt like that today.
Whew, thanks. I closed my eyes, breathe deep. Was that butterfly on the lantana when I stomped out here? What else have I been missing in the fog? I am calmer now.
OMG...I hear the vacuum...that sweet hubs of mine is attacking the tumbleweeds. I didn't say a word about it.....THATS why we've been married 34 years. I will go now. Saner. Calmer. Sober.
Thank you all for being here.
Group hug!
Whew, thanks. I closed my eyes, breathe deep. Was that butterfly on the lantana when I stomped out here? What else have I been missing in the fog? I am calmer now.
OMG...I hear the vacuum...that sweet hubs of mine is attacking the tumbleweeds. I didn't say a word about it.....THATS why we've been married 34 years. I will go now. Saner. Calmer. Sober.
Thank you all for being here.
Group hug!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by helpimalive
Hi, I've been around on the forums a few days now this time around, but I didn't join this thread because when I got here it was already so long and everyone already knew each other and it was scary ... But I managed to read through all the posts on this Part 4, and I'm going to hope that's good enough. You seem like a great bunch, and there was a lot of smart stuff said in just the 100 or so posts I read. And I figure I'd like to join even though it's the end of the month of September since it seems that these class threads continue even after the month is over, so ... maybe it's okay?
Originally Posted by Midton
Beautiful Thursday morning here. The weather has been perfect since round Sunday. Warm days and cool nights with cloudless skies. Certainly makes it easier to feel positive.
I'm coming up to 4 weeks and hopefully next week I'll achieve a month. Making a month is a bit of a psychological border for me. It proves and show to myself so many things. Anxious to get there.
The deeper in time I get the easier it is to quickly and without fuss swat the cravings away. In saying that relapse is always around the corner. I made around 2 months in April/May and managed 100 days when I first joined.
I'm a morning person. I like beginnings mornings, Spring, new starts and positive thoughts, new chances to put the past behind us and achieve success. For those who are struggling the start of October brings a clean slate, a chance to nice again reinforce yourself.
Hope you all have a great, sober October ( in fact that actually rhymes).
I'm coming up to 4 weeks and hopefully next week I'll achieve a month. Making a month is a bit of a psychological border for me. It proves and show to myself so many things. Anxious to get there.
The deeper in time I get the easier it is to quickly and without fuss swat the cravings away. In saying that relapse is always around the corner. I made around 2 months in April/May and managed 100 days when I first joined.
I'm a morning person. I like beginnings mornings, Spring, new starts and positive thoughts, new chances to put the past behind us and achieve success. For those who are struggling the start of October brings a clean slate, a chance to nice again reinforce yourself.
Hope you all have a great, sober October ( in fact that actually rhymes).
So I was so glad to see your post
Day.....er....18? now...I say it everytime haha, memory sucks!
Yesterday I only had 1 craving, it was a bad one but I got through it with the help of all the advice and tips I have been reading over the last few weeks.
The best one so far for me, is simply knowing the craving is going to pass shortly, if I can just hold on a little longer, deep breathing, grabbing a cup of tea or something nice to eat, taking myself out of the situation if it's that that has triggered me, and just knowing it's simply my AV trying to trip me up in a moment of weakness, it all helps.
Beautiful day here in Australia so I'm off to the beach shortly.
Welcome to those that are new, huge hugs to those that are on day 1 (I'm glad you are still here with us
) and congrats to those that have had another sober day!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by 3wolves
Thank you Matilda!! That helps make sense of posts!!! I have a village screaming for a drink RIGHT NOW!!! An eleven hour day, I'm beat, frustrated, hungry and my feet hurt.....tumbleweeds of wolfie fur skittering across the floor greet me coming thru the door, screaming GO GET THE VACUUM. I put my things away, picked up my tablet, kissed hubs on my way out the door and am presently venting. I am sober. I did not buy an adult beverage for a reward as I would have done two weeks ago. So here I sit with you in the grass, the cold water won't leave me saddened at my failure to change. The sun is shining, breezy, the mister in my butterfly garden giving off just enough to catch in the wind occasionally. Tiny industrious ants everywhere. I felt like that today.
Whew, thanks. I closed my eyes, breathe deep. Was that butterfly on the lantana when I stomped out here? What else have I been missing in the fog? I am calmer now.
OMG...I hear the vacuum...that sweet hubs of mine is attacking the tumbleweeds. I didn't say a word about it.....THATS why we've been married 34 years. I will go now. Saner. Calmer. Sober.
Thank you all for being here.
Group hug!
Whew, thanks. I closed my eyes, breathe deep. Was that butterfly on the lantana when I stomped out here? What else have I been missing in the fog? I am calmer now.
OMG...I hear the vacuum...that sweet hubs of mine is attacking the tumbleweeds. I didn't say a word about it.....THATS why we've been married 34 years. I will go now. Saner. Calmer. Sober.
Thank you all for being here.
Group hug!
(And tell him he is free to call my partner and suggest he pick up the vacuum too
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