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Class of September 2015 Part 4

Old 10-05-2015, 04:14 PM
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I'm tired today. I'm ready for my days off they'll be here in two days. Yeah me! Some down time. Hoping to hear back on my job application soon. Ready for some new challenges.
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Old 10-05-2015, 04:40 PM
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Hi all. I'm sorry I have been unavailable for comments and support! You guys are all rocking this!!! Here's my update:
  • I may have been too ambitious trying to post in two class threads. It takes time and effort and one may be enough for me. So I will post here, but read up on the October folks
  • I have been having a health scare and have been really keeping to myself until I know what I'm dealing with. Will have more info tomorrow (not related to drinking). It's been affecting me a lot and can't really move on until I deal with it.
  • I've been very tired lately and need lots and lots of sleep - more than my schedule will allow.
  • I updated my "date" - see signature below. My last wine binge was on 9.30.15 and it was a doozie (I told you all about that). On Saturday night 10.3 I went to an Oktoberfest party. I gave in and had 1/2 of a cup of keg beer. Then switched to apple cider (non-alcoholic) and had some dinner. So was not drunk or sick, but in all honesty to myself had to count it. Beer is not my drink of choice so I was able to stop and switch pretty quickly.
  • When I got home, performed the sage cleansing ceremony of me and my house to rid myself of any sickness and maladies (including alcohol addiction).
  • Haven't felt any urges to drink since then. The ceremony was really for me and if some sort of spiritual event has been invoked, even better. But I count this night as the start of a new phase for me. (Please don't think I'm totally nuts, but I believe in some spiritual stuff!)
  • Social media is a problem for me. I have gotten rid of Facebook time and time again (seem to go back to it when I'm drunk, so that shows what kind of affect it has on me). My latest Facebook will be permanently deleted on 10.14 as long as I don't log in before then.
  • Today I deleted Twitter because it's just cluttering my mind at the moment. It's a time waster/filler and not serving me well. Not as destructive as Facebook, but still a time filler.
  • I still have Instagram and that's fine. I don't post much
  • I'm about to go to Petsmart and get some doggy food.
  • I will try to post more often and hope my health remains good and spirits too.
I wish everyone well!!
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Old 10-05-2015, 05:02 PM
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just checking in on day 21- hope everyone is well….our numbers are dwindling but we are strong!
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:08 PM
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Hi Juno
I'm sorry you're having a health scare. I hope everything is ok. Hang in there, will be thinking about you.
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:09 PM
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Doing well over here. Had a great day. Still sober and strong at 22 days.

Night all...
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:17 PM
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Hi everyone
Our class is quiet but maybe that's because people are posting in October...
Today I was putting away a new handbag (it's a weakness) and I decided to put one of my spring bags in its little protective bag. I noticed how heavy it was and thought what's in here? A 750 of vodka that's what....2/3 full. Yikes. That must be really old.....guess I haven't used that bag in a while. I mean really old. Like maybe even 8 months or so. Could have been from June but I don't think so....well maybe. Anyway, my heart kind of fluttered. Good vodka too. My mind was completely confused. There was no doubt I would dump it but boy that little addict fella sure got twitterpated.....well too bad. No vodka today. But that was freaky. I've never....I mean never done that before. I don't forget large quantities of alcohol....well obviously I do .
I hope everyone is doing well. My back is fricken killing me but what else is new. Can't wait to have medical insurance....
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:29 PM
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FF...that's a trip.
I kept finding stashes for the longest time.

Actually, when I was hooked on pain killers, I would stash them too. And morphine patches that I would cut and chew. I searched patches in between sand paper sheets in my shop.

I can't tell you how many times I looked in there for a patch. There's a couple drawers too that I would keep checking for pills, or some weed.

It's like I stashed the stuff in an effort to leave golden nuggets to myself in the future. My AV is smart. Keep feeding the monster. Always leaving emergency "food" for later. Heck, my AV was more prepared for an apocalypse than I was.



Yup...reeeaaal winner I was.
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:35 PM
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Juno,

Hope all goes well at the doctor.

I also have mixed feelings towards social media. I don't do Twitter I started Instagram for a business reason but don't understand or use it. Facebook is love/hate. Living abroad it great for keeping in touch with my old parents and close friends. But I made a big mistake starting a business page.

This means I feel that maybe it's worth my (financial) while to like everything that moves on Facebook, faking how friendly and nice I am for ulterior motives. So whereas befor I seldom liked anything or posted much I now automatically like everything, apart from excessive cat pictures; sorry cat lovers. I'm also a bit of an anti-pouter. I'm awaiting a hate button before I comment on duck pout selfies. Maybe I'm just getting old and grumpy.
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:44 PM
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Midton. I'm with you. All the way.
And yeah, we need a hate button.

Especially for those who post their current activity NO matter how boring.

- "making Mac and cheese with hotdogs fur lunch. Mmm mmm". >>HATE
- "watching the best Oprah ever!" >> HATE
- "my dog just pooped". >> HATE
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Old 10-05-2015, 07:25 PM
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Thanks for the good wishes Frick and Midton. I hope to be in a better place tomorrow (mentally about the health stuff). The hardest thing is uncertainty and worry and not knowing what you're dealing with.

Facebook for me is the worst of the worst and I don't know how to control myself there (it's an addiction almost as bad as alcohol for me, or as bad in a different way). Facebook would trigger me to drink, and drinking would trigger me to want to do Facebook. I don't know why it was this way for me, but it was! They both need to be gone together forever.

I was really on Twitter only to keep tabs on my 16 year old daughter, but now that she has protected her posts, I can't see them and it's not worth me requesting permission to view them. I'll simply communicate with her the old fashioned way - direct talking

Duck faced selfies - I am getting too old for this too!!!
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Old 10-05-2015, 07:42 PM
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I have never gotten into social media. I had to do Facebook for a yoga thing I was involved in but when that ended, so did my involvement. I'm such an anti social person overall so I just found it creepy, quite frankly. I'm so private (can't tell here) but I feel like I'm being watched....not literally but it's just all too much sharing of info. Besides, I'm boring as **** and a drunk so how much sharing can I have? I'm amazed at how much stuff people put online about their kids. I mean, every pico second is shared. I barely have a picture of me before 25 . It's a whole new world. I like a lot of it but it is certainly changing the kids....oh well. Can't stop change. So this ole gramma Frick signing out....geez I sound like my Mom. GNite guys.
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Old 10-05-2015, 09:23 PM
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Fricka, I don't do social media--never have. It just isn't my thing. I did read an article a few years back that said that folks often feel worse after they read Facebook. I imagine it is because people compare their lives to the cultivated lives of others.

Juno, I hope the doctor's visit goes well.

I'm behind on reading posts...just ending my day and am spent. But I hope all of you are well. 28 days for me tomorrow!
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Old 10-06-2015, 01:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Juno11 View Post


I was really on Twitter only to keep tabs on my 16 year old daughter, but now that she has protected her posts, I can't see them and it's not worth me requesting permission to view them. I'll simply communicate with her the old fashioned way - direct talking
!
When my daughter is finally allowed to get fb, IF she decides to hide her posts from me, I plan on creating a fake profile of an attractive young boy and adding her as a friend....(you add a load of her friends first, some are bound to accept, so she sees you have mutual friends in common and accepts you)....job done, you can snoop all you want haha!
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:53 AM
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That's funny SecretDrinker! Matilda, I have seen those studies about Facebook making us sad and I agree with them! I think I felt like I wasn't living "the good life" and everyone else was. Here I was driving back and forth to work, fighting traffic, running to the grocery store and pharmacy, cleaning up doggy poop, etc. and everyone else was seemingly on vacation, eating yummy food and drinks (hence the trigger), and they all had the perfect kids that were succeeding in life and here I was with my kids, flawed and difficult at times. No wonder I started to feel sad. I think recognizing triggers and things that we don't need in our lives is a good thing! In the end, I have to live my life as it is - not some idealized picture of what it could have been and eliminating Facebook is one big step in that direction. Have a good day all - will post later.
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Old 10-06-2015, 04:06 AM
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Checking in Day 14.

Sorry, I'm not much of a poster (always seem to be running after kids), but I read as much as I can.

Have a great day!
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Old 10-06-2015, 04:07 AM
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morning all….Juno- I hear ya on the fb thing….I DO think that people are doing a LOT of posing however to make sure everyone knows how great life is for them. I'm pretty sure life is not as glamourous for these folks as they would like us to believe. Many of them are dealing with marriage issues, kid issues, addiction issues, money issues but posting great pics on fb is the 21st century equivalent of buying a new shiny car for the neighbors to admire. (thats what I tell myself when I see all of my glamorous friends achievements anyways…it helps and it's probably very true!)

hope your medical issue go aways quickly…we are thinking about you.

SD- that is a brilliant strategy for tracking your daughter on fb! I smiled this morning thinking how well that would have worked for me if I had thought of it..(14 year old daughter). The youngsters are into snap chat and insta gram these days however….buckle in. Why is the duck face a good thing anyways? I truly am starting to feel old lol.
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Old 10-06-2015, 04:48 AM
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Clear Eyes - I think your assessment of Facebook is spot on!!!! Thanks for the good wishes. Will post later.

My daughter is into Snapchat, Kik, Instagram and other. Lots of group chats. The kids decided to get away from Facebook since their parents kind of took it over Fortunately she still thinks it's important to talk to me about things that are going on, and I always try to listen and understand and be a sounding board for her. Okay, later folks!
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Old 10-06-2015, 05:09 AM
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Day 13 here. I'm dealing with some really tough stuff with my girlfriend right now, and I can't deny it's because I'm not drinking and am forcing myself to deal with my feelings instead. I'm not sure if we'll get through this, nor am I sure I want us to. I just don't really know. But at the very least, I do know that drinking isn't going to solve anything, and getting through this is probably going to be a huge step in my recovery.
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Old 10-06-2015, 05:21 AM
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Hi Matilda

And I don't know this but Facebook can 'seem' like a lot of things. Its easy to compare my insides with other people's outsides....who really knows. I mean, who has 400 friends? Seriously? Its pretty funny to me actually.

Hope you're doing well..
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Old 10-06-2015, 05:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Secretdrinker View Post
When my daughter is finally allowed to get fb, IF she decides to hide her posts from me, I plan on creating a fake profile of an attractive young boy and adding her as a friend....(you add a load of her friends first, some are bound to accept, so she sees you have mutual friends in common and accepts you)....job done, you can snoop all you want haha!
My daughter will be 15 in a few months. She hates facebook and it seems that her generation is more into Twitter and Instagram. She says that facebook is for bored old ladies...ha! BUT I never even thought of trying to snoop through her stuff. Should I? She tells me her friends Mom's check their accounts and their texts....I feel like I'm missing something. I feel like my daughter is innocent until proven guilty. If she does nothing wrong, why should I assume she is? She's always TRYING to show me her Instagram....and I have to act like I'm interested. I don't know. She's always with me when not in school, isn't dating, is a great kid and gets straight A's in school. She's in Science club and debate team. She's a girlscout. But I feel like maybe I'm missing something....
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