Class of September 2015 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
One of the things I've learned from being on SR and my sobriety is learning to show support to one another and being kind. People do post and offer their thoughts, it's only someones opinion. I certainly only hope to let people know their not alone or maybe they won't feel like their crazy. I'm a big pill to swallow sometimes with being vocal, I mean only good because I care. Hard to know someone's tone in a post. Those are two great things that help everyone. Support, kindness. Have a wonderful day.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Class
I hope everyone is having a good Saturday. I kind of don't know what to do with myself. I've done my chores, worked out....my daughter won't be here for a few more hours. Its a beautiful day....hmmmmm. Guess I'll get off my butt, get in the shower and just go somewhere. I'm pretty lucky to have this kind of leisure time I guess.
Feeling a little physically off, almost hungover. Maybe that's what's got me kind of stumped. Ok I'm saying nothing.
Hope everyone is well!
I hope everyone is having a good Saturday. I kind of don't know what to do with myself. I've done my chores, worked out....my daughter won't be here for a few more hours. Its a beautiful day....hmmmmm. Guess I'll get off my butt, get in the shower and just go somewhere. I'm pretty lucky to have this kind of leisure time I guess.
Feeling a little physically off, almost hungover. Maybe that's what's got me kind of stumped. Ok I'm saying nothing.
Hope everyone is well!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
KeyofC, please no apologies. You don't know the history. I would have done anything...did a lot of things hoping someday it would be enough. To survive, I had to leave her behind me. I took no offense, if anything, I could be envious that you have a good relationship.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Sunday morning and I'm up and over yesterday's cravings.
I have mixed feelings though. Naturally I'm overjoyed to not have given in but I feel a little down about how pathetic I was yesterday. I feel I was like a child just selfishly wanting and then throwing a tantrum when I didn't get what I wanted.
I don't have excuses for wanting to drink yesterday. I can understand people, after some time sober beginning to doubt they have a drink problem. I've been there. Yesterday wasn't that. I know that if I drank yesterday I would have hit it hard, hit it to get drunk, been "onnit " as they say.
I seen a lot of posts on this site where people say "play the tape". Yesterday I either played the wrong tape or played the right one but didn't play it long enough.
I'm off to the gym which will drag me out of this funk.
I have mixed feelings though. Naturally I'm overjoyed to not have given in but I feel a little down about how pathetic I was yesterday. I feel I was like a child just selfishly wanting and then throwing a tantrum when I didn't get what I wanted.
I don't have excuses for wanting to drink yesterday. I can understand people, after some time sober beginning to doubt they have a drink problem. I've been there. Yesterday wasn't that. I know that if I drank yesterday I would have hit it hard, hit it to get drunk, been "onnit " as they say.
I seen a lot of posts on this site where people say "play the tape". Yesterday I either played the wrong tape or played the right one but didn't play it long enough.
I'm off to the gym which will drag me out of this funk.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Midton
I know what you mean about feeling childish about cravings. Frankly I think my addiction is like an angry little child. When my daughter was a toddler she rarely threw tantrums. But it didn't take long to learn that indulging the tantrum was hopeless. It just got more demanding. There was no reasoning with it. Ignoring her was the only way to go....she would stop much more quickly. She simply had to wind herself down. Observing her or trying to negotiate only gave power to the tantrum. I think my addiction is similar.....except my addiction is a horrid little toddler....my daughter is an angel
I know what you mean about feeling childish about cravings. Frankly I think my addiction is like an angry little child. When my daughter was a toddler she rarely threw tantrums. But it didn't take long to learn that indulging the tantrum was hopeless. It just got more demanding. There was no reasoning with it. Ignoring her was the only way to go....she would stop much more quickly. She simply had to wind herself down. Observing her or trying to negotiate only gave power to the tantrum. I think my addiction is similar.....except my addiction is a horrid little toddler....my daughter is an angel
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Well, got back from the octoberfest. I admit, I white knuckled it at first, but found that they had a root beer garden, so I had a float instead. It was okay--not that fun, but I survived and I know my partner was glad I went. Hope everyone has a good night.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by Midton 
I don't have excuses for wanting to drink yesterday. I can understand people, after some time sober beginning to doubt they have a drink problem. I've been there. Yesterday wasn't that. I know that if I drank yesterday I would have hit it hard, hit it to get drunk, been "onnit " as they say.
.
I know all that, and yet, sometimes, I still just goddamn want it! It's completely irrational, but that's the 'illness' talking, it's the AV, it's not the real me.
YOU shouldn't feel pathetic, YOU should feel bloody proud of yourself this morning for beating it. If anyone or anything should feel a bit silly this morning, it's your AV because you won and made IT look pathetic . If THAT'S the best it has to throw at you, and you didn't give in, pssh posh, bring it on!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by matilda123
Well, got back from the octoberfest. I admit, I white knuckled it at first, but found that they had a root beer garden, so I had a float instead. It was okay--not that fun, but I survived and I know my partner was glad I went. Hope everyone has a good night.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Day 36
I keep dreaming about alcohol. Usually its some sort of celebration, I have a glass of wine or a beer, then in the dream I suddenly realize what I've done but its too late and all my days are down the drain. Then I wake up and I'm sober. Its nice but its also annoying that I dream about alcohol.
Its clear that there is still a part of me that wants to drink.
The thing thats clear to me though is, I used to pretend I drank for the taste, or to be social, but I truly KNOW that now I just want to drink to get drunk. And knowing that gives me the power to refuse.
I'm finding a lot of things a real struggle these days. I'm trying to figure out my future, my relationships, my friendships or lack thereof. Mainly I find I have a day, and so many goals, and its hard to fit everything in.
I just woke up so these are my unfiltered morning sunday thoughts. I tell you what, I certainly lack the dread I used to ahve waking up hungover on sunday and thinking to myself **** I have to work tomorrow and all of today I'm going to be fighting poison.
I keep dreaming about alcohol. Usually its some sort of celebration, I have a glass of wine or a beer, then in the dream I suddenly realize what I've done but its too late and all my days are down the drain. Then I wake up and I'm sober. Its nice but its also annoying that I dream about alcohol.
Its clear that there is still a part of me that wants to drink.
The thing thats clear to me though is, I used to pretend I drank for the taste, or to be social, but I truly KNOW that now I just want to drink to get drunk. And knowing that gives me the power to refuse.
I'm finding a lot of things a real struggle these days. I'm trying to figure out my future, my relationships, my friendships or lack thereof. Mainly I find I have a day, and so many goals, and its hard to fit everything in.
I just woke up so these are my unfiltered morning sunday thoughts. I tell you what, I certainly lack the dread I used to ahve waking up hungover on sunday and thinking to myself **** I have to work tomorrow and all of today I'm going to be fighting poison.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by kinzoku
I just woke up so these are my unfiltered morning sunday thoughts. I tell you what, I certainly lack the dread I used to ahve waking up hungover on sunday and thinking to myself **** I have to work tomorrow and all of today I'm going to be fighting poison.
I love this quote. Waking without a hangover is the BEST. like a daily reward. I feel the same way!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Relationship substitute addiction
I'm getting involved with an addict in recovery and I have a tendency to put my emotional work aside when involved with someone. My prayer is that I can continue to see him and continue to work in my recovery and healing each day. Any thoughts?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Relationships can be pretty traumatic at the best of times SF. It's not an easy thing to do so soon.
I'm glad I waited - any sooner and I still feel I would have been inflicting myself on someone.
Waiting until I had a better sense of self really helped me and the person who eventually become my partner
D
I'm glad I waited - any sooner and I still feel I would have been inflicting myself on someone.
Waiting until I had a better sense of self really helped me and the person who eventually become my partner
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Dee74
Relationships can be pretty traumatic at the best of times SF. It's not an easy thing to do so soon.
I'm glad I waited - any sooner and I still feel I would have been inflicting myself on someone.
Waiting until I had a better sense of self really helped me and the person who eventually become my partner
D
I'm glad I waited - any sooner and I still feel I would have been inflicting myself on someone.
Waiting until I had a better sense of self really helped me and the person who eventually become my partner
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Midton, I am the same - a toddler who wants something and can't have it. I know all the realities and consequences, yet that addictive part of our brain just ignores all of that focuses only on what it's wants NOW. I have been reading "The Willpower Instinct" and while its not necessarily about addiction or recovery, it
more about the psychology behind any behavior that we are trying to control. Mindfulness, being aware of our thoughts and changing them is really helpful.
Today is my 45th birthday. I am only a few days sober , rather than 25 days as I had hoped due to my relapse last week. I ruined my own birthday by getting drunk 4 years ago and swore I would
Never drink on my birthday again. I haven't since and I know I won't today. It's funny how the "big" moments (birthdays, holidays, events) I can get through quite easily without drinking. It's the random Sunday or Wednesday night that's way more challenging for me.
Anyway I am looking forward to a nice day with my girls, lunch with my mom and that may be just about it. And, best of all, I am off work tomorrow so I won't be grumpy tonight
Hope everyone has a nice sober- craving free - Sunday
more about the psychology behind any behavior that we are trying to control. Mindfulness, being aware of our thoughts and changing them is really helpful.
Today is my 45th birthday. I am only a few days sober , rather than 25 days as I had hoped due to my relapse last week. I ruined my own birthday by getting drunk 4 years ago and swore I would
Never drink on my birthday again. I haven't since and I know I won't today. It's funny how the "big" moments (birthdays, holidays, events) I can get through quite easily without drinking. It's the random Sunday or Wednesday night that's way more challenging for me.
Anyway I am looking forward to a nice day with my girls, lunch with my mom and that may be just about it. And, best of all, I am off work tomorrow so I won't be grumpy tonight
Hope everyone has a nice sober- craving free - Sunday
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