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Class of September 2015 Part 4

Old 10-01-2015, 06:56 PM
  # 241 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Secretdrinker View Post



What do you reward yourself with,Midton? When you don't drink, what's your treat?

That's a good question and it has got me thinking, probably more than it should.

I really am feeling happy at present and I really do enjoy waking up sober. I love going to the gym but probably go too much. I always get a buzz from exercise. At present I'm over the moon when I can gradually fit in to clothes better. I'm happy with my ever-increasing self-esteem and I'm happy about probably being a better father and husband.

I don't know if these are rewards though. I love pizza and I'm planning to enjoy it maybe once a month as a reward rather than the old twice weekly.

Maybe day trips are a reward. I can leave early and sober now and don't have to worry about getting back by a perceived drinking time.

Again good question.
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Old 10-01-2015, 07:01 PM
  # 242 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Secretdrinker View Post
DEEP BREATHS

Gosh it's only 11am and I want wine. I don't, I want the stress of life to go away and I'm thinking wine would really help, which it won't in the long run, my brain knows that and it still fighting it telling me I need wine.


I'm STILL so tired. I know, it'll pass.

I was a bad mum this morning and I paid for it.

It was 8am, my 3 year old got herself out of bed and I knew I should get up but my body was so tired, I fell back asleep. I woke sometime later and could hear her doing something, and still I fell back asleep...

I got up around 9 and walked into what used to be my living room, it was unrecognizable. Sofas were half way across the room, drawers had been pulled out and emptied, chocolate cake was all over my rug, lovely rainbows had been drawn on my wall in pencil, 3 foot high), books were ripped, diet soda was all over the kitchen floor and she was right in the middle of spraying my suede sofa with window cleaner!
I shouted at her and sent her to her room so I could calm down even though I knew it was my fault.

Sigh.

I need to look into those vitamins, I know I said I'd do it, still haven't.

Anyway, day 19 now I think.
Just gonna read back and catch up.
I do not know how you survived this. In my eyes, sparing your child's life makes you a good mother. >>grin<<
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Old 10-01-2015, 07:57 PM
  # 243 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi Juno

You may or may not have read but I tried for 15 years to get sober - eventually I made it by finding out, much as I think you are, that nothing is more important than my recovery - everything else flows from that

you can do this

D
Dee, I look for your replies because every single one has helped me in some way. You may already realize this.....you are a wise, nurturing mentor to us. Your voice of many years sobriety is packed with wisdom. I'm not just blowing sunshine. Thank you.
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Old 10-01-2015, 07:59 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Rar View Post
I do not know how you survived this. In my eyes, sparing your child's life makes you a good mother. >>grin<<
Thank you lol!
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Old 10-01-2015, 08:52 PM
  # 245 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Midton View Post
That's a good question and it has got me thinking, probably more than it should.

I really am feeling happy at present and I really do enjoy waking up sober. I love going to the gym but probably go too much. I always get a buzz from exercise. At present I'm over the moon when I can gradually fit in to clothes better. I'm happy with my ever-increasing self-esteem and I'm happy about probably being a better father and husband.

I don't know if these are rewards though. I love pizza and I'm planning to enjoy it maybe once a month as a reward rather than the old twice weekly.

Maybe day trips are a reward. I can leave early and sober now and don't have to worry about getting back by a perceived drinking time.

Again good question.
Great to hear that your self esteem is improving and you love the gym. I wish I could get back to that point as well!!

I absolutely think fitting into clothes and improved self esteem are rewards. You go!!
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Old 10-01-2015, 08:55 PM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the kind words SportsFan15

D
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Old 10-01-2015, 10:39 PM
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I'm feeling low this morning. Yesterday my OH and I had a row. It was over nothing but he shouted at me why don't you have a drink then. I had no intention to do that but stayed out of his way. Later on I decided to go to the shop for some chocolate. He was using the car as he had a meeting so me and my boys walked. He got it in his head I'd gone out in my pyjamas (which I didn't) and was ringing constantly accusing me of going to buy booze. It was ridiculous but the even worse he rang my parents and told them to come ad check on me. My Dad pretended he'd come round to see my eldest but I was mortified. I didn't drink - I had no intention of it but this morning because of what happened I feel like I have. I feel like crying and almost like having a drink. I'm not going to but I'm so angry with him for making me feel like this.
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Old 10-01-2015, 11:01 PM
  # 248 (permalink)  
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CharlieW

It's a difficult one. While we're being sober and trying hard to stay that way our spouse/partner/parent/kid often have no conception of what we are attempting to achieve.

I feel that, maybe selfishly and possibly childishly, my efforts should be recognised more. The fact that I've gone almost a month sober is something I feel should be lauded. From my wife's perspective it is the equivalent of her not eating a carrot or something for 4 weeks. We expect different things and both of us are possibly right and wrong.

I also got a hit to the gut yesterday by an offhand remark my wife made. We've often put people through a lot and their memories are long and their trust running on fumes. Only to be expected I suppose.


No solutions just empathy.
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Old 10-01-2015, 11:17 PM
  # 249 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry charliesworld - I had to deal with a lot of situations like that...but it gets better - faith and trust can be rebuilt. Please don't lose heart

D
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Old 10-02-2015, 12:45 AM
  # 250 (permalink)  
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Quick check in day 10.

Back to read through posts in a little while.
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Old 10-02-2015, 01:40 AM
  # 251 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Midton View Post

So at present I've quit alcohol, quit all processed foods, have drastically cut fruit and cut all carbs to less than 50g a day. I'm beginning to count calories obsessively too. It's been about 6 weeks since I've had any bread, pasta, rice, cake, ice cream etc.
.
Wow Midton, of course you know yourself better than anyone else so don't want to be patrionising, but don't punish yourself please. One thing at a time. Slow and steady wins the race as they say.
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Old 10-02-2015, 01:45 AM
  # 252 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by charliesworld View Post
I'm feeling low this morning. Yesterday my OH and I had a row. It was over nothing but he shouted at me why don't you have a drink then. I had no intention to do that but stayed out of his way. Later on I decided to go to the shop for some chocolate. He was using the car as he had a meeting so me and my boys walked. He got it in his head I'd gone out in my pyjamas (which I didn't) and was ringing constantly accusing me of going to buy booze. It was ridiculous but the even worse he rang my parents and told them to come ad check on me. My Dad pretended he'd come round to see my eldest but I was mortified. I didn't drink - I had no intention of it but this morning because of what happened I feel like I have. I feel like crying and almost like having a drink. I'm not going to but I'm so angry with him for making me feel like this.
That sucks! I guess he needs time too to rebuild up a level of trust. That would motivate me even more to show him how strong you are. As horrible as it felt at the time, when you think about it, did you not feel feckin fantastic knowing that you didn't live up to his expectations.
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Old 10-02-2015, 01:58 AM
  # 253 (permalink)  
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So it's Friday. What are your plans for the weekend?

Me, I'm going to treat myself to a Chinese tonight. Well, I did save a hell of a lot of calories in 10 days, so why not! Going to scan Netflix for a new series or a list of movies to watch at night time.
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Old 10-02-2015, 03:23 AM
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Hey! It's Friday dear hearts! I never thought of this day as the "dreaded weekend" as to me every day was difficult. Just on the weekends you have more time in your hands. You can do this! Keep yourself busy! Care for yourself! SR is here if you need to hash it out. Don't feel alone , God knows you're not. Reach out to people and keep yourself busy. Don't listen to the AV. It'll try to trick you into caving, ((hug))! Stay strong!
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Old 10-02-2015, 04:23 AM
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Wow.no raging urge last night to drink. Or to throat punch someone. No drink. Made a lava fudge cake instead. Spent my evening reading here. So many struggles and victories here. Gives me strength and hope for the other side of life. My beautiful grands will be spending their afternoon with me. I will spend my day vacuuming up the furry tumbleweeds that set grands asthma off. I'm off till Sunday and I have a list of things to accomplish. Not too taxing with a sober brain. Thanks for being here. Happy weekend!
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Old 10-02-2015, 05:06 AM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Just looked at my calendar. I had a week yesterday.YAY ME!
You helped me do it. Thank you.
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Old 10-02-2015, 05:15 AM
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Originally Posted by KeyofC View Post
Don't listen to the AV. It'll try to trick you into caving, ((hug))! Stay strong!
Heck yeah KeyofC! That should be tattooed somewhere. ITS ALWAYS A TRICK! Don't be fooled cause it ain't what you want.

Nice job on one week 3wolves!!
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Old 10-02-2015, 05:19 AM
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Day 9 here. Doing pretty well so far. I'm glad it's the end of the work week....almost....lol.

I've been reminding myself how nice it is to wake up in the morning without a headache or nausea and instead feel pretty refreshed and ready to go. And how nice it is to have energy to do things in the evening rather than just drinking, losing all of my focus, and having to go to bed early.
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Old 10-02-2015, 05:22 AM
  # 259 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cameron57 View Post
So it's Friday. What are your plans for the weekend?

Me, I'm going to treat myself to a Chinese tonight. Well, I did save a hell of a lot of calories in 10 days, so why not! Going to scan Netflix for a new series or a list of movies to watch at night time.
I'm going to see The Martian tonight, or at least I hope to if tickets aren't sold out! Also spend some time with my new niece who was just born on Wednesday!!
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Old 10-02-2015, 05:54 AM
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3Wolves...congrats! So happy for you! It's a big milestone. I hope you're feeling the difference inside and out!

Arbor, the AV can be tricky..it likes to break you down then get you to drink. Replace that negative with positive. Change your thinking to change your thinking and you life. (Hug)!

Illuminate congrats on day 9! That's a great accomplishment! I'm glad you're using positivity too! It sure does make a big difference. High five!
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