3wolves

I saw we had a new thread... But I can't find it. Please someone send me a link. I have been scrolling up and down thru here looking for it. I have some visual impairment, use VERY large font. I feel lost, can someone shine a light?

TXAlchy

3wolves, we are in the same thread but it is now in the Daily Recovery Support Threads (or somesuch) forum.

I just wanted to drop in. 2 weeks today (hooray).

Juno, glad to see you made it back.

3wolves

Whew, thank you! It looked like no one had posted in a bit, so I thought I was lost!

Midton

Stormy Friday here so much for my second run in 4 years.

I've just realised that I'm following the same path I always do. My addictive personality, if such a thing exists, is now in over-drive. I'm cutting everything. Now, this may be healthy but I fear it might lead to a crash and burn.

So at present I've quit alcohol, quit all processed foods, have drastically cut fruit and cut all carbs to less than 50g a day. I'm beginning to count calories obsessively too. It's been about 6 weeks since I've had any bread, pasta, rice, cake, ice cream etc.

My days are spend online researching diet, health, fitness, bodybuilding, ketosis, hypoglycaemia, blah, blah, blah. My sleep last night was fragmented due to my brain arguing with itself over how to cut carbs but still get enough fibre. My focus is intense.

My wife has often said to me, semi-jokingly I hoped, that I have OCD or whatever and she's a school psychologist. I like routines, I like things being organised, I hate it if something disrupts my daily plans. My gym opens at 8 am and if I'm not there for the doors opening I feel rushed, late and flustered. I'm extremely efficient have superb time management. Which leads me to alcohol. When I drink it becomes a routine, a habit, a ritual which is hard to break.

My tuppence for the day.

matilda123

Boy, this is familiar. I do the same thing, and it has been my downfall more than once. I think slow and steady probably wins the race here, at least for me. Also, given the amount of sugar contained in most alcohol, cutting out sugar--and especially all carbs--might be a trigger?

Juno11

Just checking in to say hi. Made it through what I truly hope is my last Day 1 ever. I know I sound like a broken record, but I have to believe I can do this. One big thing: I put in a call to a psychiatrist who was recommended to me as someone who understands addiction. It's something I was avoiding for myself because I already have too many appointments each week for my kids. But as Dee and everyone else here says, unless you take care of yourself first you really can't take care of others (or at least very well). I did manage to get the kids off to school (it was NOT easy with a hangover, but I struggled through it) and I did get into work for about 1/2 day. Okay, I'll take those successes and hope to never re-visit the hellish world of hangovers ever again. Glad to be a part of this great group!!

vanaprastha

That sounds like an awful lot of potential cravings to deal with all at once. If you give in to one craving, will you then decide that the others aren't worth it either? That might happen to me if I tried to do all that at once. It could end badly.

No one could ever make me give up carbs, but that's just me. I don't eat a lot of processed food, but that's something I have done for many years.

Dee74

I tend to agree. Your call of course, but if quitting booze is hard enough it may not be the best idea to add some other quitting stress on, Midton?

D

Dee74

Welcome back Juno

D

Arbor

Keep some hard candy with ya. I remember really, really craving sweets the first time I quit last fall. It's a real thing because the alcohol converts to sugars. Once it's gone we crave sugar. I'm doing better at managing it this time, but by all means if it keeps you from drinking grab a cookie!

3wolves

Juno, please take care of YOU. I hope you have a respite/support system with your babes.

KeyofC

If you're struggling please hang in there and fight thru! You can do this! Give yourself a chance to be the person you were meant to be. I'll pray for you!
Hope everyone has a good night!

Secretdrinker

DEEP BREATHS

Gosh it's only 11am and I want wine. I don't, I want the stress of life to go away and I'm thinking wine would really help, which it won't in the long run, my brain knows that and it still fighting it telling me I need wine.


I'm STILL so tired. I know, it'll pass.

I was a bad mum this morning and I paid for it.

It was 8am, my 3 year old got herself out of bed and I knew I should get up but my body was so tired, I fell back asleep. I woke sometime later and could hear her doing something, and still I fell back asleep...

I got up around 9 and walked into what used to be my living room, it was unrecognizable. Sofas were half way across the room, drawers had been pulled out and emptied, chocolate cake was all over my rug, lovely rainbows had been drawn on my wall in pencil, 3 foot high), books were ripped, diet soda was all over the kitchen floor and she was right in the middle of spraying my suede sofa with window cleaner!
I shouted at her and sent her to her room so I could calm down even though I knew it was my fault.

Sigh.

I need to look into those vitamins, I know I said I'd do it, still haven't.

Anyway, day 19 now I think.
Just gonna read back and catch up.

matilda123

Hi, all! Day was exhausting and I've had a headache all day. I was going to try to work tonight, but have decided to just rest. I need it (and maybe an ice cream too

Hope all of you have a great night. Keep up the good work!
xo

ps: juno, brava on day 1!!

matilda123

SD! What a morning!! I can't even imagine. I wouldn't say it was your fault. I don't have children, but I have a puppy (well, she isn' t much of a puppy anymore). She would get into things if I left them out, granted, but it is also the nature of puppies (and maybe three year olds too?) to be curious and creative (and like chocolate icing too. Hope you can go to bed early-ish. I find some nights I enjoy just crawling into bed at 8 with tea and a good book. xo

Midton

That's what I'm slightly concerned about. However at present I'm enjoying getting healthier and improving myself. I love and look forward to waking up sober, energetic and healthy. Any improvements mental and physical are really helping me stay sober just now, I think.

Basically I'm on a bit of a hight these last few days, sober, happy and not entertaining cravings when they pop up.

Secretdrinker

I love your name,Matilda. Do you ever get called Tilly?

Yeah I usually go to bed before 9pm, sleep right through and am STILL tired. Someone said if I can hang on till around day 30 that does get better and I will start having more energy so just holding out for that!
I do try and cut myself some slack. My sobriety has to come before everything.
If I'm being a bit of a lazy arse at the moment, it's because I need to, my body is tired and I need rest, and I just keep promising myself that it will pass and my kids WILL have a sober and amazing mother again.

I need to restock on magic erasers!


Midton, that does sound like a huge lot to take on at once.....are you subconsciously trying to set yourself up to fail? You say it may be healthy but you fear you might crash and burn, it doesn't sound healthy to me, not cutting out all that at once.
Please please rethink this.

Dee74

Don't be too hard on yourself SD - lack of energy is pretty common in early recovery.

It does and will get better

D

Secretdrinker

"So at present I've quit alcohol, quit all processed foods, have drastically cut fruit and cut all carbs to less than 50g a day. I'm beginning to count calories obsessively too. It's been about 6 weeks since I've had any bread, pasta, rice, cake, ice cream etc.

"My days are spend online researching diet, health, fitness, bodybuilding, ketosis, hypoglycaemia, blah, blah, blah. My sleep last night was fragmented due to my brain arguing with itself over how to cut carbs but still get enough fibre. My focus is intense."



That does not sound enjoyable to me.

What do you reward yourself with,Midton? When you don't drink, what's your treat?

matilda123

SD, Dee is right about the sleepies: I was so tired the first time I quit...seemed like I couldn't get off the couch! It gets better; be patient with yourself.

Midton, I totally understand what you are saying about getting healthy and enjoying it. I feel that way too. I hear what you are saying, too, about understanding that you might be putting too much pressure on yourself. Just be gentle with yourself, my friend xo