Class of September 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Cloel 
Hi,
I was just wondering if I could join this thread?
I'm trying - yet again - to quit drinking. I can't believe I'm back in this place again. The biggest difference is my little boy is old enough now to notice and be affected by my drinking and it's really upsetting him (I'm a horrible 'mother' when I'm drunk
). I'm parenting by myself with no support.
I started drinking heavily again at the start of the summer. I've gone from drinking a bottle of wine once or two evenings a week, to 1-2 most evenings now. I hate myself now. My poor little boy says he is scared when I drink because I'm angry and shout at him. I have to stop this. I can't put him through this any more
I was just wondering if I could join this thread?
I'm trying - yet again - to quit drinking. I can't believe I'm back in this place again. The biggest difference is my little boy is old enough now to notice and be affected by my drinking and it's really upsetting him (I'm a horrible 'mother' when I'm drunk
). I'm parenting by myself with no support.I started drinking heavily again at the start of the summer. I've gone from drinking a bottle of wine once or two evenings a week, to 1-2 most evenings now. I hate myself now. My poor little boy says he is scared when I drink because I'm angry and shout at him. I have to stop this. I can't put him through this any more
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 16
Thank you Zekers and congratulations on making it to day 3. My son isn't little, little (he's 9) but I hope he's young enough that I can make it up to him and prove I can be a good mum before I do any irreparable damage. Our relationship was going so well so I want to get back to that palace.
I'm sure your boys will be very proud of you when they see the changes you're making
I'm sure your boys will be very proud of you when they see the changes you're making
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hi all and welcome Zekers, lots of new posts! What a busy group! I had a long day of appointments and am pretty tired. Still have some work to do because the wifi connection sucked in the waiting room where I was all day. Oh well. I'm thinking about going to a SMART meeting tonight. No thoughts of drinking. Day 7 nearly done.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Cloel
Thank you Zekers and congratulations on making it to day 3. My son isn't little, little (he's 9) but I hope he's young enough that I can make it up to him and prove I can be a good mum before I do any irreparable damage. Our relationship was going so well so I want to get back to that palace.
I'm sure your boys will be very proud of you when they see the changes you're making
I'm sure your boys will be very proud of you when they see the changes you're making
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 741
Hey guys, day 2, so sad that today would've been my one year mark since the last time I quit. But I made it 6 great months and look forward to no more day 1's. Anxiety and Guilt still high, I was actually reciting to myself "you're a horrible person and you make horrible decisions" when I woke up this morning 
. Luckily that guilt toned down throughout the day. I know as the days go by it will get easier. But these motions are needed to keep my resolve strong. I'm in it with you guys!!!
. Luckily that guilt toned down throughout the day. I know as the days go by it will get easier. But these motions are needed to keep my resolve strong. I'm in it with you guys!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 32
Hi everyone,
Thank you all for the continued posts. I am regretful that I don't have time to read all of them at the moment (where are all the hours in the day?!) but, skim reading, it seems like a few parents are giving up with a view to be better role models and generally a more positive influence on their child(ren). Massive respect for that.
Welcome aboard to all those on day 1 or 2. Welcome Faithful. Don't be too hard on yourself; you're back here, poised and ready again and that's what matters
The sun has set on my day 8 (twenty to midnight here in the UK). Roll on day 9 tomorrow then double figures and, hopefully, beyond. x
Thank you all for the continued posts. I am regretful that I don't have time to read all of them at the moment (where are all the hours in the day?!) but, skim reading, it seems like a few parents are giving up with a view to be better role models and generally a more positive influence on their child(ren). Massive respect for that.
Welcome aboard to all those on day 1 or 2. Welcome Faithful. Don't be too hard on yourself; you're back here, poised and ready again and that's what matters
The sun has set on my day 8 (twenty to midnight here in the UK). Roll on day 9 tomorrow then double figures and, hopefully, beyond. x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,345
I fear I'll forget someone so...welcome to all newcomers. and congratulations to all who are hitting milestones today 
Daily Duchess I think your birthday should be about you - do whats good for you.
I spent 30 years trying to please other people - and other people wanted to get drunk.
I knew how bad it was for me and the bender that would go on days or even weeks and months after the party was over but I did it anyway.
Be smarter than me. Treasure yourself and make good healthy decisions.
Let this birthday mark the birth of a new you
D
Daily Duchess I think your birthday should be about you - do whats good for you.
I spent 30 years trying to please other people - and other people wanted to get drunk.
I knew how bad it was for me and the bender that would go on days or even weeks and months after the party was over but I did it anyway.
Be smarter than me. Treasure yourself and make good healthy decisions.
Let this birthday mark the birth of a new you
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by Cloel
Thank you Zekers and congratulations on making it to day 3. My son isn't little, little (he's 9) but I hope he's young enough that I can make it up to him and prove I can be a good mum before I do any irreparable damage. Our relationship was going so well so I want to get back to that palace.
I'm sure your boys will be very proud of you when they see the changes you're making
I'm sure your boys will be very proud of you when they see the changes you're making
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by FaithfulAndFree
Hey guys, day 2, so sad that today would've been my one year mark since the last time I quit. But I made it 6 great months and look forward to no more day 1's. Anxiety and Guilt still high, I was actually reciting to myself "you're a horrible person and you make horrible decisions" when I woke up this morning . Luckily that guilt toned down throughout the day. I know as the days go by it will get easier. But these motions are needed to keep my resolve strong. I'm in it with you guys!!!
. Luckily that guilt toned down throughout the day. I know as the days go by it will get easier. But these motions are needed to keep my resolve strong. I'm in it with you guys!!!Oh man I know how you're feeling. My journal entries from just a few months ago are, well, scary. I know for a fact that happiness is a choice for me. I had to force myself to think positively in the beginning, and posting here has helped reinforce positivity. But it gets easier. Maybe tomorrow morning when you wake up, no hangover, try being grateful. Sit there and tell yourself that you love you, you are worthy and you are sober today! I do it every morning. Now before you barf, give it a try
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
So its 5 here in Idaho....in the middle of the witching period and no alcohol shuffle. Sheesh that was weird...3 days of should I? No. Maybe? No. I didn't even want to drink, nothing to drink 'over'. Stupid addiction.
Good day over all. Yoga, had to take my computer in....but it was the power cord. Duh. Power cords never fail. Anyway, $9 fix so that's good. Bought my daughter some clothes. Screwed up and missed my chiropractor apt...which I desperately need...but going on Wed.
I have to get planning my Wed/Thurs/ Friday late afternoons. My kiddo will be with Dad and that's when I get shifty. I'm going to do that now.
Ya know I've been reading this site for two years. I am soooo glad I joined. I cannot tell you all how much all of your posts help me...its just a daily, incremental re enforcement of what I'm trying to do. Thanks so much to everyone!
Good day over all. Yoga, had to take my computer in....but it was the power cord. Duh. Power cords never fail. Anyway, $9 fix so that's good. Bought my daughter some clothes. Screwed up and missed my chiropractor apt...which I desperately need...but going on Wed.
I have to get planning my Wed/Thurs/ Friday late afternoons. My kiddo will be with Dad and that's when I get shifty. I'm going to do that now.
Ya know I've been reading this site for two years. I am soooo glad I joined. I cannot tell you all how much all of your posts help me...its just a daily, incremental re enforcement of what I'm trying to do. Thanks so much to everyone!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Day 17 now.
So I'm sober, eating well, working out, beginning to sleep better and am in day 4 of a 5 day holiday. And my reward is to be sick. I haven't had a day off work sick in at least 15 years. It's not so bad; I have a slight fever, a burning throat and general weakness.
It kind of reminds me of a time, long before I came to this site, when I tried to go sober. Eventually I had a problem and went to the doctor. He examined me and asked me questions, including about alcohol. I hadn't drunk in about 6 weeks and his diagnosis was just a bit of stress. And his cure was that I should drink every so often.
So I'm sober, eating well, working out, beginning to sleep better and am in day 4 of a 5 day holiday. And my reward is to be sick. I haven't had a day off work sick in at least 15 years. It's not so bad; I have a slight fever, a burning throat and general weakness.
It kind of reminds me of a time, long before I came to this site, when I tried to go sober. Eventually I had a problem and went to the doctor. He examined me and asked me questions, including about alcohol. I hadn't drunk in about 6 weeks and his diagnosis was just a bit of stress. And his cure was that I should drink every so often.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Midton, your doctor sounds crazy! Who suggests alcohol as a way of coping with stress?! Sheesh!
Congrats on day 17! I'm on day 10! Day freakin' 10! Double digits! Can't believe it.
A huge welcome to all the new people. So glad you are here with us. (That sounds weird saying that, because I kinda wish you weren't and you didn't have alcohol problems in your life, but because I know you do, THAT'S why I'm glad you're here and not going it alone).
Cloel, my eldest is nearly 11 and I remember saying to my now ex when she was 5 'we have to knock this drinking on the head, she's going to start remembering things from around this age, I don't want her remembering drink was such a huge thing in our lives...'
Nothing changed.
5 more years passed, 5 years of memories of mum stumbling around, slurring her words, endless screaming matches, boxes/bags/containers full of empty bottles, grumpy hungover parents.
I just hope over time, I can replace at least some of those memories with happier ones. She will never see alcohol in my house again. This is the start of a whole new life for us, a happier, healthier one.
Wine was so important to me, it was my everything. Everything else came second. I could see us drifting apart, that mother and daughter bond you're supposed to have, we just don't have it. It's time to start working on that.
Congrats on day 17! I'm on day 10! Day freakin' 10! Double digits! Can't believe it.
A huge welcome to all the new people. So glad you are here with us. (That sounds weird saying that, because I kinda wish you weren't and you didn't have alcohol problems in your life, but because I know you do, THAT'S why I'm glad you're here and not going it alone).
Cloel, my eldest is nearly 11 and I remember saying to my now ex when she was 5 'we have to knock this drinking on the head, she's going to start remembering things from around this age, I don't want her remembering drink was such a huge thing in our lives...'
Nothing changed.
5 more years passed, 5 years of memories of mum stumbling around, slurring her words, endless screaming matches, boxes/bags/containers full of empty bottles, grumpy hungover parents.
I just hope over time, I can replace at least some of those memories with happier ones. She will never see alcohol in my house again. This is the start of a whole new life for us, a happier, healthier one.
Wine was so important to me, it was my everything. Everything else came second. I could see us drifting apart, that mother and daughter bond you're supposed to have, we just don't have it. It's time to start working on that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by FaithfulAndFree
Hey guys, day 2, so sad that today would've been my one year mark since the last time I quit. But I made it 6 great months and look forward to no more day 1's. Anxiety and Guilt still high, I was actually reciting to myself "you're a horrible person and you make horrible decisions" when I woke up this morning . Luckily that guilt toned down throughout the day. I know as the days go by it will get easier. But these motions are needed to keep my resolve strong. I'm in it with you guys!!!
. Luckily that guilt toned down throughout the day. I know as the days go by it will get easier. But these motions are needed to keep my resolve strong. I'm in it with you guys!!! Hang in there - You are NOT a horrible person.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Congrats
Congrats to Midton on day 17 and Faithful on day 2. Guess what Faithful? I'm on Day 2 with you! I was 1.5 years sober but I know the negative voice wants me to beat myself up.....that only takes me back to the bottle. Let's be better to ourselves. We made it the first 2 days, which are the hardest. Much love to you!! 😚😚😚
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
Sad. Disappointed and shameful. I did not make it through my friend's wedding day on Saturday without drinking. I drank a lot. So much, I was in bed by 9 at the hotel, thanks to my BF for getting me there before things got really bad.
I know my main trigger. It was my anger at my BF for not getting up in the morning to go to the wedding. I ended up leaving without him, then waiting for him at a roadside area. I drank while waiting. He apologized profusely for ignoring me the times I tried waking him, but it was too late for me to turn back to sobriety.
Not blaming him. Just recognizing a trigger that I think would make anyone furious.how do I cope with triggers like that? Getting mad again just thinking about it.
Day 1 again tomorrow. Had a little to drink today and yesterday. Was hoping to feel better but I feel worse. I had 10 days sober until Saturday.
I know my main trigger. It was my anger at my BF for not getting up in the morning to go to the wedding. I ended up leaving without him, then waiting for him at a roadside area. I drank while waiting. He apologized profusely for ignoring me the times I tried waking him, but it was too late for me to turn back to sobriety.
Not blaming him. Just recognizing a trigger that I think would make anyone furious.how do I cope with triggers like that? Getting mad again just thinking about it.
Day 1 again tomorrow. Had a little to drink today and yesterday. Was hoping to feel better but I feel worse. I had 10 days sober until Saturday.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
It was always going to be tough,Jemma. Don't beat yourself up.
I know this sounds awful, but honestly, I kinda expected you would. It takes an iron will for an alcoholic new to recovery to go into a situation like that and not drink. I honestly think I'd have caved too. It's just too much to ask of yourself right now.
Maybe next time anything like that comes up, call and cancel? It's just not worth it hey.
I'm glad you are here and talking to us.
I know this sounds awful, but honestly, I kinda expected you would. It takes an iron will for an alcoholic new to recovery to go into a situation like that and not drink. I honestly think I'd have caved too. It's just too much to ask of yourself right now.
Maybe next time anything like that comes up, call and cancel? It's just not worth it hey.
I'm glad you are here and talking to us.
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