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Class of September 2015 Part 3

Old 09-21-2015, 04:40 AM
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Thanks dee. I'll have to read the link when I get home from yoga. I feel bad for posing such depressing stuff. I hope I didn't hijack the thread. I'm feeling much better this morning. I just keep finding reminders and it brings everything back. I realize this morning that his comment about accepting his fate and either shutting down or being joyful is much like accepting addiction and either giving up or recovering. Maybe there's a reason that stuff was there.
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:41 AM
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What a great post Mr. Smith!
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:43 AM
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Originally Posted by charliesworld View Post
Hi. I'm joining this thread because I relapsed again. I let the family down again. I was determined that my younger 2 children would not see what my eldest had to see when he was growing up but it seems I can't control myself. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just nighttime but it spills over to the next day and I just keep on drinking.
Welcome Charles
I relate completely to where you are. There is always hope to turn things around, to right wrongs. Don't drink today and do the next right thing, then do it again tomorrow, one step at a time.
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:43 AM
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Hang in there Cloel!! Kids need their Moms so much - my kids are 12, 14 and 16 and they still need and love me so much.

Sorry for the sad feelings Fricka, hope things are better today.

Elizabeth33, I have ragwood allergies, too. They are bad this year! Though nothing matches the hell of an alcohol hangover so I'm not complaining about the allergies. I know what real hell on Earth is like and I'm not going back there.

Today is Day 7 - one week since my last horrific binge. I have an all day appointment for my son today so will be a bit stressful/out of the routine. I'm determined not to let history repeat itself tonight.

Good day to all!
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:44 AM
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Those are the rigth words FBL. thanks.
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:49 AM
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Hi FBL

I understand the frustration with weight. I'm 50 and have struggled with maintaining a healthy weight all my life. The body is pretty much in a state of shock from drinking, becoming addicted, then having that removed. Metabolism can really fluctuate. Give yourself 30 days of so to normalize. I don't weight myself so that helps....ok that's probably bad advice
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:51 AM
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Thanks SD. And congrats on 9 days. You're doing great!
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:51 AM
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Thanks so much Rar.
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Old 09-21-2015, 05:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Juno11 View Post
Hang in there Cloel!! Kids need their Moms so much - my kids are 12, 14 and 16 and they still need and love me so much.
Thanks Juno. When I wasn't drinking (heavily) we had such a lovely relationship. We've both been through so much together. I don't want to screw that up. He's such an affectionate, caring kid and I've been truly blessed having such a sweet child. He doesn't deserve the [email protected] I put him through with alcohol. He's already been through so much in his short life



Originally Posted by Juno11 View Post
Today is Day 7 - one week since my last horrific binge. I have an all day appointment for my son today so will be a bit stressful/out of the routine. I'm determined not to let history repeat itself tonight.
You can do it! I hope the appointment goes well.
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Old 09-21-2015, 05:27 AM
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One week for me. 9 days to be exact. Its a great feeling.

But, I feel myself putting the usual stress and pressure on my shoulders of everyday life. Mostly unnecessary. I wonder if this is part of what would push me to drink. More on this later.
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Old 09-21-2015, 05:31 AM
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good morning all- day 7 today. Congrats to those piling up the sober days here in September, welcome to all new members and thoughts/prayers and electronic hugs to those who are struggling/sad and can't yet see the pinprick of light that is in the tunnel for us allÖ.we have the makings of a great group here gang- let's keep keeping on, one sober day at a time. No more Day 1'sÖ..
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Old 09-21-2015, 05:55 AM
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Hi Everyone. My sober date was a week ago...14th Sept to be exact. Guess that makes me part of Class of September 2015. Its been horrible so far but just taking each day as it comes and grateful to be on the journey with such an awesome group of supportive people.
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Old 09-21-2015, 05:57 AM
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That's my sober date too mish. Right there with ya...hang in there.
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Old 09-21-2015, 06:28 AM
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Originally Posted by scaredikklegoth View Post
Lmao at 'Alcoholic Shuffle'. Actually brought funny tears to my eyes. Now when I get the craving I'm going to imagine the Alcoholic Shuffle as some hideously awkward drunk people staggering back and forth to disco music ^_^
That is awesome, Scared. You have just put a visual into my head that will help tremendously when a craving hits. Disco ball and all!
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Old 09-21-2015, 06:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
I'm a little gutted right now. I found a couple of books of his under the bed, and a few old notes from me, oh god my heart just sank. He was such a deeply sad man in so many ways and he became so esoteric toward the end. Really trying to find the meaning of everything, especially me. Two Tao based books with notes all over them. References to me.....one quote in the back really got me. "This slow death .....is killing me. Do I acknowledge it and shut down, or do I acknowlege it and move forward well prepared and joyful?". Selfishly I wish he'd made a decision. His struggle was horrible. I feel like I killed him. I have so much guilt. One of the notes I found was clearly written by me after some kind of drunken bull****. I just want to shrivel up and disappear.
Sorry for the crazy post. I should try to sleep.
Fricka, please don't beat yourself up over your actions and the reason for your late husband's passing. You couldn't save his body, nobody could. I had a profound experience after my father died last November that proved in my mind that a soul lives on. He knows all of your thoughts and feelings, your guilt, your remorse, and he forgives all of it. He is at peace now, and you should be too. Forgive yourself and let the past go. I truly believe he would want that for you. Hugs....
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Old 09-21-2015, 07:21 AM
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Good morning everyone. Charles, welcome!

Finally, I had one of the deep, peaceful sleeps I enjoyed the first time I got sober.

Today is day 13. It is going to be stressful --lots of work and a meeting that promises to be contentious--but I know it'll be better sober.

. I think as the fog clears I'm tapping into a lot of feelings I've drowned with alcohol. They aren't all sunshine, but you have to take the good with the bad.

I hope you all have a great day!
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Old 09-21-2015, 07:28 AM
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Congratulations on 13 days Matilda

This day feels like it's never going to end (it's 3:27pm here). I wish I was a few more days into this and feeling a bit better. I'm useless today. I haven't even changed out of my PJs yet
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Old 09-21-2015, 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Cloel View Post
Congratulations on 13 days Matilda

This day feels like it's never going to end (it's 3:27pm here). I wish I was a few more days into this and feeling a bit better. I'm useless today. I haven't even changed out of my PJs yet
I think days like that are very common in early sobriety, at least for me. Your body and spirit are recovering from something pretty traumatic and it takes energy and time.

I think that one of the biggest gifts of sobriety--and biggest challenges--really listening to our bodies and inner selves and giving it what it wants and needs, vs. drowning those wants and needs in alcohol. For so many years I've used alcohol to "shut off" feelings or as a reward for working myself ragged. Listening to what we need -- even if is a day in our pjs watching movies-- is important for self care and sobriety.

You are doing great!
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Old 09-21-2015, 07:49 AM
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Iíve been sober for 24 hours, I never drink on weekdays so Iím feeling fine at the moment.

Itís my birthday on Friday and my family has organised a huge family dinner, Iím normally the life and soul of the party until I black out and say something to upset someone.

Iím not ready to tell them that Iíve decided to stop drinking, but theyíll know that something is Ďupí with me if Iím not chugging on a bottle of wine.

I donít know whether to cancel and hide away or to face this first battle with the determination that I am not going to drink.
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Old 09-21-2015, 08:18 AM
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Originally Posted by scaredikklegoth View Post
Lmao at 'Alcoholic Shuffle'. Actually brought funny tears to my eyes. Now when I get the craving I'm going to imagine the Alcoholic Shuffle as some hideously awkward drunk people staggering back and forth to disco music ^_^
Heehee, this made me laugh!!! Very good imagery xo
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