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Class of September 2015 Part 3

Old 09-27-2015, 12:32 AM
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stay strong SD - you won't regret it tomorrow

D
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Old 09-27-2015, 01:42 AM
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Charliesworld I relate, I drank and drank for years, all night, so ill the next day I would drink again to try and 'get rid of that feeling' I never really thought it was too much of a problem you know - I was the original party girl! So I thought! Back then I was also a young single mum - I cringe with horror at what my darling daughter - now 17 saw. Then when I married and had more kids I of course tried to curb it a bit but still drank most nights, often starting at lunch time blaming business lunches, my poor husband and kids. It was getting a strain.Then I had a really serious illness a few years back (not drink related funnily)and discovered opiates and benzos and that was it, no one could really tell I was high, I could function, I could get through my work week, I was the typical functioning addict! Then I started to get ill, accidental OD's, months and months off work, lost my job, multiple A&E (ER) and hospital admissions (not good as husband Consultant at our city hospital so he was beyond mortified) Then the alcohol crept back in and was downhill from there. I totally get what you mean about being in house alone at night, if my H is on call and im home alone its so tempting, My poor teenager - shes always home and that gives me that peace of mind that I know she'll watch the little ones iv had since my marriage .... so wrong on so many levels. Rehab is the best place for me this time, iv tried it on my own 5 or 6 times now, cant even remember. But I get you so much - the insomnia is a killer I don't know how the hell il cope with work when I get home end of next week ... Anyway sounds like youv had a productive morning - cleaning and ironing is therapeutic! We'l both be tired later - but hey we r sober!!! and its always nice to see someone else from the UK!
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Old 09-27-2015, 02:32 AM
  # 443 (permalink)  
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Checking in Day 5.
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Old 09-27-2015, 02:35 AM
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Just found a new, for me, BBC documentary about alcohol and its effects. These are the kind of things that fuel my sobriety. If I could watch a documentary about alcohol and its true effects on a regular basis the lingering longing for alcohol would be subdued way, way more.
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Old 09-27-2015, 03:27 AM
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good morning all and to our friends across the pond….up early for a round of golf- no hangover this morning and I love it! Day 13 for me today and other than a brutal "should I or shouldn't I" moment last Thursday, I have been doing ok. SD- my brain did the exact same thing as yours did when you were sitting in your car waiting for your hubby. It sounds like he doesn't fully understand alcoholism but most people don't. Especially if you don't have it…..hell, I didn't understand it myself until the last 12 months but I've been wrestling it for the past decade. I'm glad you didn't give in and you will be SO glad this a.m….great job.

Fuzzy- your posts aren't boring at all….they are great. I did a brief stint in rehab a couple of years ago and while I can't say it was pleasant, I felt in a very strange way that I was with "my people". The medical attention is nice too as withdrawals and detox in general can be brutal. Please keep posting and let us know how you are….

My teenager had a semi-formal dance last night and I had to pick him up at 10:30 p.m In the past, this would have been a buzzed adventure…nervous driving…stunted conversation for fear he'd discover I'd been drinking….straight to bed to sleep it off. This year….sober driving, great conversation about the night….stop for ice cream. Fully present, fully sober- life was very good despite a fidgety alcohol-free night on the couch watching television..

have a great Sunday everyone….
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Old 09-27-2015, 03:28 AM
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Originally Posted by charliesworld View Post
forabetterlife - well done for finding a distraction. A massive trigger for me is to be in the house alone overnight. It wouldn't be too bad if I would just drink at the night time but I get so drunk I don't know what I'm doing and often wake in the early hours and carry on which then leads into the next day and sometimes that will then lead to days. Even if I did just drink at the night time I could go from sober to blotto in 2 hours and then would spend the next day ill if not a few days, so for those 2 hours I would spend much longer suffering. Looking at it objectively it's not worth it but on the rare occasion I do get the night to myself it's hard to see it to the end because the lure of getting drunk on my own with no one around is very tempting.
Exactly, Charlie. I think the fact that it is so rare for us to be alone makes it even more tempting. Like its an "opportunity" to drink, so why waste it. Which, of course, is ridiculous.
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Old 09-27-2015, 03:34 AM
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Dee,ClearEyes, it's 8.30pm and I'm already so glad I didn't give in! The cravings stopped about an hour ago and now I'm about ready to take myself off to bed with another sober day under my belt.

I'm so bloody pleased with myself that I didn't give in! It just wouldn't have been worth it at all.
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Old 09-27-2015, 03:54 AM
  # 448 (permalink)  
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SD, isn't that the best feeling??? I feel much the same way, here on Sunday morning. I really didn't think I could make it through this weekend.

ClearEyes, nothing is quite as rewarding as doing right by our kids.

I feel like every day I am learning something new about myself, about getting through cravings, about just experiencing evenings sober, about getting through weekend days sober when I'm not so sure what to do with myself (even though there are a thousand things to do). Even though I've been on this rollercoaster fora few years, and it's not my first day 17, I am constantly learning.

What I know for sure is that I do NOT want to be back at day one or those first few days. That is what is keeping me going right now. That and I don't want to wake up full of regret and hating myself and hating how I feel. There are moments, many of them, that feel strange, and maybe even empty. Naturally, my mind just feels like that void, that uncomfortableness, should be filled with alcohol. Its like we are training our brains all over again.

Here I am up at 6 am on Sunday morning. I will be walking my dog, taking my daughter to Sunday school, and then just basically a lot of my usual Sunday getting ready for the week stuff. I feel like I dodged some major bullets this weekend and that today should be relatively easy,but I'm on guard because you just never know when it will hit. There's always an excuse or "reason" to drink, isn't there?
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Old 09-27-2015, 04:51 AM
  # 449 (permalink)  
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Good Morning Folks.

@ SecretDrinker: >>>He said 'you've made it 2 weeks, you can easily have one tonight and just go the next 2 weeks without, your liver starts repairing itself the day you stop drinking, it will be back to normal now probably.' <<< Just yesterday my husband informed me that a couple of drinks a day would be good for my heart. A few days before that, he reminded me that my blood glucose was so much better while drinking. Apparently our husbands miss their drinking buddies.

J: A sober date. That's a big hurdle - great job!

ForBetterLife: Sometimes when I'm in my Woe is me mode, I can't think of benefits to quitting. One of the biggest benefits I am having, though, is minimal morning anxiety. I still have it later in the day or in the evening, but most of the morning anxiety is gone. I'm thinking the morning anxiety was the result of drinking the night before. I would not want to be back on Day 1 either.

Fruity: Yes, insomnia is a b***h. I self medicated with my insomnia by drinking more and more. Along with a whirring mind, my restless legs contributed to it. Perhaps when you're released, your medical staff will prescribe something or suggest something so you don't find yourself in a position of self medicating.

Sending strength and courage to everyone who are starting or continuing another sober day. ((September Class))
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Old 09-27-2015, 04:58 AM
  # 450 (permalink)  
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Morning folks. Sounds like a lot of us went through a trial yesterday. Mine was probably not as in your face as sitting in the parking lot of a bottle shop, but I found yesterday difficult as well, in addition to just having a bad day.

But double digits today. And I was with it when I had to get up with my 3 year old at 3am. And while I'm tired as a dog this morning, it's just tired, not tired and hungover. I can power through the former, not the latter.

I'll hit my "safe" zone around 2 this afternoon and be relatively safe until next weekend. Good thing as my SO is traveling this week again. But so long as I'm not drinking on a Sunday my weekdays are relatively safe.

Glad to see folks making it thoroughbred hard times. Fruity, glad detox is going ok. Hope your insomnia improves.

One last day until the work week sets our schedules again. Hang in there.
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Old 09-27-2015, 05:48 AM
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Hi All! Checking in on the morning of Day 6. Feeling ok today. Tired but what else is new?! I was reading through posts and I must admit...Forabetterlife I am waiting for the day when my face and body look better. Too early to say for me but was excited to see your post on day 15 saying you look much better!

Keep up the great work Class!
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:02 AM
  # 452 (permalink)  
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Tough weekend? I'm blaming the full moon!

Carry onward everyone! It's a beautiful day in the northeast.
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:10 AM
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Hi everyone - good morning from the east coast of USA! So many posts overnight for me. I slept about 10 hours. I'm a hard core sleeper and need a ton of sleep. The only thing that gets in the way of that is alcohol. I had a weird dream that a guy with an Amish hat was stalking me and stole all my papers and then told me he loved me. I best go get some coffee to wake up I've got a good day on tap with an awesome yoga workshop this afternoon. I'm happily sober - the not actively counting is helping me to relax about it. Happy Sunday to all!
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:26 AM
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Back after technical difficulties

Good morning class

So many posts, I'll never catch up. My router failed on thursday and I didn't get back up and online until yesterday. I think technology is another addiction for me...no internet, no netflix. Help. But all is restored in the universe. Now I'd better start reading......
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:36 AM
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Hi, guys. I was buried at work last week and most days I got home late and went to bed early.

I drank on Friday. Had a nail appt which I usually slam some booze before so it was a major trigger on top of it being a Friday night. I hit the LQ on my way there and then kept the party going afterwards. I could tell my honey was surprised and a bit disappointed when I walked in the door with a 6 pack, already about 5 shots of vodka deep.
I woke up feeling like sh!t but went about my day meeting with friends, pretending I wasn't hungover so my friends didn't know I slipped. Inside I was dying. Took dogs to the vet and came home and fell asleep at 5pm.
At this stage in my drinking if I'm hungover I drink. It is always at least a2 day thing. I wanted to drink so bad yesterday to get rid of the hangover, but I didnt. I think the guilt helped me over that hurdle.
Today I'm much more sad about it all. At about 3 weeks I just didn't care and wanted to drink.
I hate this.
I'm not doing anymore nail apps on Friday and I think I'm going to look for a therapist. Maybe go on thurs nights if possible.
So it's day 2 here for me.
I didn't read any of this thread so I will go back and see how everyone is doing.
Hopefully better than me
Happy Sunday, all.
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:39 AM
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Happy Sunday! Hope y'all stayed strong! Weekends are hard. I'll try to catch up later!
Day 69 for me I don't regret a thing! (Except that I didn't find this life sooner!)
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:56 AM
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Kellymh24 - good you didn't drink yesterday. Now you can get back on track. I caved on Wednesday night so you're not alone!! Hang in there!

Last edited by Juno11; 09-27-2015 at 06:57 AM. Reason: got the day wrong
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Old 09-27-2015, 07:37 AM
  # 458 (permalink)  
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Kelly, Glad you picked yourself back up quickly. I am the same - if I drink one night, it's almost a guarantee that I will the next day as well, If not even a few more after that. I know it's easier said than done, but just move forward and make those changes that you realize might be triggers.

I think I woke up too early today- 6am. It's only 1035 and I feel like it should be dinnertime! My av is screaming that it's going to be too long of a day, with too many chores to do, I need to take the edge off. I've had a lot of coffee and sometimes wonder if the caffeine has some effect on me that makes me crave alcohol.

Who knows. All I know is that I really do feel good and don't want to blow it.
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Old 09-27-2015, 07:56 AM
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Hey Fbl

For me the caffeine increases my anxiety...especially if I'm just hanging around the house. If I work out or just stay busy doing chores that seems to help. I'm having a little caffeine anxiety myself this morning. Time to get on the treatmill. Food helps too.
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Old 09-27-2015, 07:56 AM
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Day 4, the streak continues. I'm going to the gym and trying to keep my nerves in control. I know what the problems are in my life and I've always just pushed them aside by drinking rather than actually dealing with them. Not quite sure how to deal with them, though. But I know clear as day what they are.

Regardless, as a Minnesotan, today is kind of a "freebie" since all the liquor stores are closed on Sunday. But I'll take it.
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