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Class of September 2015 Part 3

Old 09-20-2015, 12:57 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Arbor!
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:01 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Welcome, Chloel.

Well, things are brighter with the new day. I need to set my hubris aside, put my nose to the grindstone and move forward with what is, not with what might be.

Hope all of you are well. Going bAck into the garden, but will check back in later tonight.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:20 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cloel View Post
Hi,

I was just wondering if I could join this thread?

I'm trying - yet again - to quit drinking. I can't believe I'm back in this place again. The biggest difference is my little boy is old enough now to notice and be affected by my drinking and it's really upsetting him (I'm a horrible 'mother' when I'm drunk ). I'm parenting by myself with no support.

I started drinking heavily again at the start of the summer. I've gone from drinking a bottle of wine once or two evenings a week, to 1-2 most evenings now. I hate myself now. My poor little boy says he is scared when I drink because I'm angry and shout at him. I have to stop this. I can't put him through this any more
Hi Cloel
It's great that you made it here. It's been 10 days for me and I'm feeling so much better. The horrendous shame that I felt on day 1 has subsided but I have kept enough of it to NEVER drink again no matter what.
On my last night drinking I couldn't remember getting to bed (a blackout drunk) and my husband had to take out my contacts for me. Don't get me wrong, drink has gotten me into much worse state and much more scary and degrading situations over the years.
I could have said or done anything that night and I wouldn't have remembered anything for 3 hours.
The next day I was too hungover and depressed to go to work. Lots of really dark things were going through my head and I knew that if I didn't do something about this I would go further and further into a very dark and scary place.
I blamed my drinking for many years on stress and anxiety. But the truth is that drink only added to this. It has done nothing good for me in my life ever.
I wish you the very best on your road to recovery. Keep coming back to SR and, I promise, you'll receive all the hope and support that you need.
Each day you will get further away from the darkness that brought you here today.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:25 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Welcome Cloel.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:25 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Hi Chloe, sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Wine is my downfall too and I could easily drink 4 bottles in one night, every few nights. I've got really bad cravings today, so bad that I had a cry with fiance and I'm not one for crying. People here keep saying that life gets so much better once you're sober so we have to believe that and keep going.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:27 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Welcome Salthillgirl.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:30 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by foreverfuzzy View Post
Checking in, sober, not on top of the world but sober...
Me to FF. Just finished food shopping, no alcohol in my cart but dammit I want it. I knew today would be hard. I want to cook dinner and have a couple of glasses of wine. I'm mad that I can't. Because I know I will wake up not feeling 100% and hate myself. And I know that it would just lead to drinking tomorrow night, I'd stop exercising, start losing myself, waking up disorganized, exhausted, overwhelmed and miserable. For a week or two until I got fed up and started all over again. I know all of this. That's why I won't. But I want to. I'm like a baby having a tantrum.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:30 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Thanks Rar! Great to finally be here
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:34 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Sorry for that rant.

Cloel, welcome. We all know what you are going through. As a mom, I know how that tears your heart out. I have quite a few memories where I know I could have been so much of a better mom if I wasn't drinking. Everything will be so much better once you stop. We are all here supporting you 100%. So glad you are here.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:53 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by salthillgirl View Post
Thanks Rar! Great to finally be here
Me too. I feel so much better having the support of SR. You will too.
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:05 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Wishing everyone a sober week ahead
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:35 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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welcome salthillgirl and Cloel

I hoped writing that out helped FABL. One thing I know for sure is you won;t regret waking up sober tomorrow morning, and you'll be glad you stuck it out

D
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:54 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Checking in on day 12. Last two nights have been really hard. Got married on Fri and took off for a weekend out of town. Seeing my new DH drinking and I couldn't was uber difficult. My AV was trying to override my resolve, but I held out. My DH was so supportive, helped me abstain, and I made it through unscathed.

To all that are struggling, hang in there. We'll have good days and bad days, and pretty soon the good ones will far outweigh the ones with cravings. It's worth it!!
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Old 09-20-2015, 03:08 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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First off, congratulations on your marriage. I wish you much love and happiness with your new hubby. Second - GREAT job on not drinking over the weekend. That had to be extremely difficult. Your hubby sounds like a gem.
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Old 09-20-2015, 03:54 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Congrats CaliButterfly and welcome to the new folks!

Add me to the list of those who abused wine and weren't the best parents while drinking. I could tell a lot of stories...but I'm not in the mood to go back there just yet.

I had a few twinges of wanting wine tonight, but the cravings were pretty weak and I was able to swat them away fast. Made myself a Trader Joe's cheese pizza along with some Italian grapefruit soda (the best) and all the wine cravings went away. If I can just keep doing this day after day, maybe the cravings will stop knocking at the door... I want to stay sober very badly. For me, for my family, for my dog, for my job, for everyone and everything I care about.

Day 6 is coming to a close and another busy week starting tomorrow...
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Old 09-20-2015, 03:56 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Congratulations CaliButterfly

D
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:17 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Congrats CaliButterfly and welcome to everyone new

Today is day 7. For a while I didn't think I would ever be able to get to this point again and I am grateful to everyone here for helping me get this far.

Yesterday my dog had a vet appointment for a vaccine and nail trim. After that we spent the day with my parents talking and watching football. Unfortunately our team lost again, but it was fun anyway

Today has been a lazy day. I have a friend writing a book and he asked me to read it and provide feedback. I was honored he asked me (he told me he didn't trust anyone else to read it) but now I feel like I am letting him down because I have had it for over a week and haven't read it yet. I told him I would read it this weekend so I will read it tonight. I feel a lot of pressure though because I am always afraid I am going to say something wrong or have him (or anyone) take something I say the wrong way. I will just do the best I can I guess, that is all I can really do.

I hope everyone has a happy & sober new week
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:20 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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congrats to you too emme

D
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:43 PM
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Just a quick check in before I head off to bed. Day 2 down and I'm beat l, got a nasty headache but that's par for the course. Stay sober peeps
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:43 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Juno11 View Post
I want to stay sober very badly. For me, for my family, for my dog, for my job, for everyone and everything I care about.
That's what it comes down to. Being honest with yourself and wanting it bad enough to do whatever it takes. Good deal Juno!
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