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Class of September 2015 Part 3

Old 09-25-2015, 08:08 AM
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Morning all and welcome new folks.

Just wanted to say hello. Weekend coming up (scary!). Just have to make it until Sunday at 3 and I should be okay.

So. Here goes nothing folks. Keep strong and sober!
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Old 09-25-2015, 08:27 AM
  # 362 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by 3wolves View Post
I had to look him in the eye and say "I am an alcoholic and I need help" just the night before. I asked him to not be passive in this, to not enable me in any way, to remind me of what I am working towards. SOBRIETY. We have 32 years together. This morning when he left for work, along with my goodbye kiss and I love you, was a big hug and hang in there, use your support group, call XXXXXX if you need a meeting. While I have to get sober for me, I don't want to let him down now that he "gets" it.
^^^^ This was huge for me. Not only did I come out to my wife, but I let my whole immediate family know. Was a tearful thing to do, but all the other times I supposedly quit they never knew and I was always leaving the door open for future drinking. It's totally closed now. To have their support made all the difference.
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Old 09-25-2015, 09:15 AM
  # 363 (permalink)  
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I agree Arbor,
My boss has 17 years sobriety. I'm having a meeting with her tomorrow, away from work to talk. I know she will be supportive. I've kept silent about it in the eight years I have worked for her.
My daughter and son in law know, they have been angry about it for awhile. There are fabulous things that are happening in their world, they want me in it, NEED my help caring for one of their children, but pull no punches about the drinking. My son in law has 5 years sobriety. See, I have all this support around me...still I hid my alcohol, I never lied to her if she asked if I was sober, goodness, so many times I said yes, she said thanks and hung up. Right now, I don't think she would believe me for awhile. I am going to have to live it for her to believe it.
My thoughts are scattered today. Can't focus on anything for more than....o look a squirrel! Kind of day. My oldest grand child (age15) will be here tonight. He's the kind of kid that reads Aesops Fables, but saved enough money to buy his own riding lawnmower while mowing yards. He is bright, will be watching me tonight. Yesterday when I came home from work, he stopped by (they live close) to say hi....but he picked up my tea glass, sniffed it and tasted it. Neither of us said a word.
Crimeny, I'm babbling.
Off I go. Whew. Thanks for being here. Hugs.
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Old 09-25-2015, 09:17 AM
  # 364 (permalink)  
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and I am so grateful for your presence.
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Old 09-25-2015, 09:41 AM
  # 365 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by 3wolves View Post
Starting day three..stayed up till 11 beading and talking with my husband...he had spent the day mulling over my words. I had to look him in the eye and say "I am an alcoholic and I need help" just the night before. I asked him to not be passive in this, to not enable me in any way, to remind me of what I am working towards. SOBRIETY. We have 32 years together. This morning when he left for work, along with my goodbye kiss and I love you, was a big hug and hang in there, use your support group, call XXXXXX if you need a meeting. While I have to get sober for me, I don't want to let him down now that he "gets" it.
Zucchini and bananas on the counter waiting to be made into bread.
Hugs to all for being here. Your presence right now means more than you know.
That is wonderful 3Wolves. I'm so glad your husband is supporting you. I know how much this means.
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Old 09-25-2015, 10:18 AM
  # 366 (permalink)  
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It's Friday and it's been a stressful day. Thinking about hitting an AA meeting later, I've got to try something.

Let's stay sober this weekend, welcome to the newcomers!
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Old 09-25-2015, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Rio97 View Post
It's Friday and it's been a stressful day. Thinking about hitting an AA meeting later, I've got to try something.

Let's stay sober this weekend, welcome to the newcomers!
Go for it Rio. Anything beats the alternative.
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Old 09-25-2015, 11:41 AM
  # 368 (permalink)  
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Lightbulb

Originally Posted by Rio97 View Post
It's Friday and it's been a stressful day. Thinking about hitting an AA meeting later, I've got to try something.

Let's stay sober this weekend, welcome to the newcomers!
I agree, let's stay sober this weekend! This first week for me has been rough, but instead of walking around this weekend in a hangover fog, I'm going to keep myself busy: hiking, photography, working on my book, you name it. I finally realize what's in that bottle steals your motivation to live your life to its fullest. (I admit, I'm still afraid of Saturday night...)
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Old 09-25-2015, 11:51 AM
  # 369 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Rio97 View Post
It's Friday and it's been a stressful day. Thinking about hitting an AA meeting later, I've got to try something. Let's stay sober this weekend, welcome to the newcomers!
Don't think about it do it!

I'm right there with ya fellas. Let's keep it sober this weekend. Any thought of possible drinking post here...
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Old 09-25-2015, 12:05 PM
  # 370 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Arbor View Post
Don't think about it do it!

I'm right there with ya fellas. Let's keep it sober this weekend. Any thought of possible drinking post here...
Absolutely - that means any little thought too. Post a hundred times if you need to. Don't be embarrassed. There is no need to go it alone. We're here for each other.
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Old 09-25-2015, 01:46 PM
  # 371 (permalink)  
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Guess I'll be the first to ask for help and reminders. I don't want to. I want to just run to the store, buy a four pack of beer, and not give anyone a chance to talk me out of it. It's Friday, my moms coming over and I'm cooking for her - I love to drink and cook - and it's much easier being around my mom with a buzz.

But... I just looked in the mirror and my face looks so good! Healthy, bloat is gone. I'm losing weight finally. I also want to get up tomorrow and jog- a good jog- not a sweat out the booze and suffer through it jog. Plus- if I drink tonight, I'm sure I will tomorrow when I'm alone and don't even have to hide it. My mood is improving every day. I have so much more patience at work and home with my own kids.


I think I may have talked myself out of it, ha!

I'm not out of the woods, but drinking sounds really stupid to me right now.
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Old 09-25-2015, 01:50 PM
  # 372 (permalink)  
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Closing in on Day 6, had some cravings while out to lunch with a friend. For this reason I left my ID in the car so if tempted I knew I couldn't follow through. Once I got over the hump it all mellowed out. I know these craving will get less intense as times moves along. Leaving that lunch sober gave me so much energy. I'm reminded of how leaving lunch tipsy felt, it was a different kind of energy; a faux friendly, I don't want it to end kind of energy. I like today's feeling much better.
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Old 09-25-2015, 02:01 PM
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Hi everyone. Any room in the class for a new boy?
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Old 09-25-2015, 02:11 PM
  # 374 (permalink)  
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Saturday morning here and now on day 21, 3 weeks. Have to say it feels much longer and it's not a smooth ride at present.

I always go shopping late on Friday (I buy my own food as, despite my drinking, I'm a bit of a health nut). I "had to" walk through the alcohol section and although I knew I wouldn't buy my head did automatically turn and have a gander at the discount bucket. I'm hoping it is the Scottish in me looking for a bargain as opposed to the alkie in me looking for booze. Long may my resolve continue.

I have a sense that the one month mark will be a mental turning point for me. It might be a bit of a grind to get there but my pig-headedness will help me make it.

Before if alcohol entered my consciousness I would simply go a get some, no arguments. Now when alcohol comes into my thoughts, and boy does it still, there is more of a reasoned debate within my mind and sanity wins. I hoping that more and more alcohol floats into my thoughts less and less.

Yet again just writing out my feeling here is so cathartic. I feel so much better than I did pre-post. I'm up for this.
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Old 09-25-2015, 02:16 PM
  # 375 (permalink)  
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Welcome mtbr! there's room of course!
Just checking in...seems you guys are staying the course. Hang in there! There will always be triggers. The trick is knowing how to be prepared and things to do. Change the thinking to change the thinking and the life.
Keep on keeping on! One day at a time guys!
((Hug)) Happy Friday evening!
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Old 09-25-2015, 02:47 PM
  # 376 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Guess I'll be the first to ask for help and reminders. I don't want to. I want to just run to the store, buy a four pack of beer, and not give anyone a chance to talk me out of it. It's Friday, my moms coming over and I'm cooking for her - I love to drink and cook - and it's much easier being around my mom with a buzz.

But... I just looked in the mirror and my face looks so good! Healthy, bloat is gone. I'm losing weight finally. I also want to get up tomorrow and jog- a good jog- not a sweat out the booze and suffer through it jog. Plus- if I drink tonight, I'm sure I will tomorrow when I'm alone and don't even have to hide it. My mood is improving every day. I have so much more patience at work and home with my own kids.

I think I may have talked myself out of it, ha!

I'm not out of the woods, but drinking sounds really stupid to me right now.
This post couldn't have come at a better time, FBL, thank you! I just did something really stupid. I offered to go to the liquor store for my AH since he had other errands to run on the way home and I pass right by it on mine. So I did. Got his bourbon, and ran to the cash register. Bought it, seeing the vodka tempting me. Sprinted to the car, all the while my AV screaming at me to go back inside for my weakness. I did not. Came home, pulled into the driveway, and burst into tears. Crisis narrowly averted.

Reading what you just described as reasons not to drink propped up my resolve to abstain and I'll make it through the night. Again, thank you!!!
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Old 09-25-2015, 03:12 PM
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And Cali, thank YOU! Reading your post reminded me that I'm not alone in this and I'm not pathetic. I'm not crying, but I could. I'm just sorta mad. Mad that I have this dualism in my life. I love so Much about my life sober, that quickly disappears when I drink. Yet I still want to drink. I want to drink AND have the good stuff.

Anyway, we made it, Cali. I'm safe for the night and it sounds like you are too. Yay for us!
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Old 09-25-2015, 03:17 PM
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Midton, 21 days is fantastic. And if I do recall back when I got past the month mark, the conversations in your mind - where you are fighting with sanity- lessens. Something to look forward to

Writing my thoughts out here or even just in a journal sometimes. Can change my whole mindset.
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Old 09-25-2015, 03:20 PM
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F and F, I totally know what you mean about that "fake energy". It's just a temporary high, with the price to pay in one way or another right around the corner. I often think drinking in the afternoon on a Saturday or Sunday will energize me to clean and get things done with a nice buzz. It lasts about an hour and then I leave it all half done and get lazy and sloppy. Ugh!
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Old 09-25-2015, 03:26 PM
  # 380 (permalink)  
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welcome mtbr

Lets make this a great sober weekend guys - there's support here right across the weekend - we can do this

D
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