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Class of September 2015 Part 3

Old 09-23-2015, 07:39 PM
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It will get easy sobermadi

D
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Old 09-23-2015, 08:05 PM
  # 282 (permalink)  
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Day 11. Feeling pretty good, maybe a little too good as drinking was on my mind off and on today. I had a passing thought of oh I don't work for the next few days I could drink and sober up before work again...I then reminded myself how that is just not possible and I did not want to go through being hungover and anxious..all those awful feelings that beat you down after drinking. I'm very glad to be on here, sober and not planning my next drink or lie or trying to avoid the inevitable hangover.
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Old 09-23-2015, 08:11 PM
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welcome Madi! this is a great group, you can do this! Stay with this group, keep posting and make the decision that staying sober is the most important thing in your life right now. (this pep talk is for me too : ) )
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Old 09-23-2015, 08:12 PM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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Hi September classmates. Glad to know I'm not alone. Not sure if I should be posting in part 1 of September, but I couldn't find it.
Anyway, I am on Day 20 of sobriety after about 10 years of heavy drinking. Found this site and the forum has been a great resource in keeping me on track. It's a font of useful links and information, wisdom and humor.
Wishing all of you strength and health!
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Old 09-23-2015, 08:18 PM
  # 285 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post

.please don't confuse abstinence with control.

Life is good because we have stopped drinking and removed alcohol from out lives, not because we suddenly learn control.


D
I LOVE this. Absolutely love. I want it tattooed on my body I love it that much haha! It's so true!



Welcome Madi and SBF and anyone I have missed
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Old 09-23-2015, 08:22 PM
  # 286 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by emme99 View Post
Secretdrinker, thanks~ Also, I like how you put the number of drinks you have not consumed in your posts. I never thought to look at it like that but it is a great idea

.
It helps on my hard days. I picture 100 glasses of wine infront of me and try to imagine what it was doing to my poor body!
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Old 09-23-2015, 08:51 PM
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Hi all. Just checking in before bed.

Good to see some new folks. Come one, come all.

Long day and I'm pooped but sober. So at least I'll get restful sleep!

Stay strong all.
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Old 09-23-2015, 09:37 PM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SFBonvivant View Post
Hi September classmates. Glad to know I'm not alone. Not sure if I should be posting in part 1 of September, but I couldn't find it.
Hi and welcome SFB -we close 'parts' at around 500 posts - parts One and Two have already hit that mark, and are now closed to everyone.

It's got nothing to do with when you join

D
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Old 09-23-2015, 09:41 PM
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Txalchy, I could have written your post word for word. Pooped but sober about sums it up

Welcome to all who are new. I look forward to getting to know you. Sd, thank you for the tea recommendation ( think it was you; I read too many posts in one sitting--late work day). Funny enough, that is the one tea I have a real aversion to because my mom used to give it to me when I was sick. Guess I associate it with illness (or maybe my mom, lol).

Sleep tight my friends and see you in the morning!
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Old 09-23-2015, 11:20 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberMadi View Post
Hi there. Today is day 4 for me. I have a lot more to say, and will when I have more time. But wanted to introduce myself. So here I am. This is literally the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life and I feel so depressed about it but I know that sobriety is the path I have no choice but to take.
Sobermadi - you sound like you're ready to face it, so was I but it took me 6 months of "goodbye drinking/knowing I had to stop" before I made an appointment with my dr. Best thing I ever did, he literally gave me the map out of the maze I was stuck in. I was given meds to aid stopping, not sure I "needed" them but it sure as hell made it a lot easier, no withdrawal symptoms AT ALL and knowing I had made a date and a plan with medical professionals made it very real for me, it was no longer just whirring around my head, it was written in the diary, booked appointments and I was off on Sept 7th.

17 days sober now after doing 120+ units a week (1-2 bottles of wine a night).

No regrets, clear head, sleeping like crazy, hitting the hay by 9 every night but waking up refreshed and glad to face the day with no hangover.

It's also nice to start planning activities for the weekend not having to make them late morning / afternoon to allow for the fog to clear!

I may just go out at 6am on Saturday and take a photo of the sunrise because I'm sober and because I can!!!

Good luck, pm me if you want to chat xxx
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Old 09-24-2015, 01:22 AM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone have the best day possible guys your doing great
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Old 09-24-2015, 01:54 AM
  # 292 (permalink)  
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ARGHHHH!

Just had a phone conversation from hell with my mother (massive alcoholic). 90 minutes of her mumbling, slurring, forgetting I was on the phone, stopping mid sentence because she forgot what she was going to say, stopping mid story and talking about totally random things like curries when we were talking about why my sister is having her kids taken off her! And it was 7am over there, so she's not drunk just yet, this is simply the effects of alcohol abuse for 30 years. My youngest was trying to make as much noise as possible and it was hard enough to hear mother as it was because she's lost her false teeth and can't talk properly at the best of times and can't, for some STRANGE reason, figure out that she needs to put the mouthpiece near her mouth and not half way up her cheek so I can HEAR her!! ARGH!
I was so frustrated I was literally screaming inside whilst trying to maintain my composure and ask mum, for the millionth time, to repeat what she just said because I didn't understand/couldn't hear. Can't let her know I was getting frustrated because I know it will just upset her so I was just clenching my fists so bloody tight i've cut them with my nails!


And the REALLY stupid thing? I want a drink so badly. I am craving one so much. I want 2! Not one, 2! I want to drink and pass out, I actually want to, after hearing the effects of what alcohol has done to my mother, I still want it.

How absolutely insane is that.

I'm not going to. I just had a good cry, let it all out and I am going to make my cuppa.

Urgh.

Sorry for the vent. I have no one else I can vent to lol
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Old 09-24-2015, 02:02 AM
  # 293 (permalink)  
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Back again for second time

Starting day 2 today.

Hello to everyone! Will catch up tonight on posts. Hope to hang around for a while this time.
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Old 09-24-2015, 02:49 AM
  # 294 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry SD - I'm glad you made a healthy decision tho

welcome back Cameron - what do you think you need to add to what you've been doing to stay sober?

D
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Old 09-24-2015, 03:07 AM
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Welcome to all those just joining

Sd, that does sound very frustrating and it sounds like the situation and maybe your mother is definitely a trigger of yours. Glad you came here and vented, sometimes that's just what we need to do.

Oddly, I've noticed my younger daughter , who is 14, is kind of a trigger for me at times. She is such a good girl and I love her with all my heart but she has this way of screaming and crying and yelling when she is frustrated and will not let me help her, console her, or try to problem solve for her. It's maddening. When in a drinking cycle, I'd get all into it with her. Now, I just find it makes me think of drinking. It kind of makes me feel bad though that my little girl is a trigger for me


Day 14, two weeks! Definitely the longest stretch for me in about a year. Feels good. I just need to keep it going. No matter what. Even if I have Saturday night alone , even if it's my birthday (next week), even if I'm stressed or bored, even if it's cloudy or sunny or hot or cool---- no matter what...
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Old 09-24-2015, 03:39 AM
  # 296 (permalink)  
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Day 25

Reasons not to drink:

1) the decisions I make, good or bad, are my own
2) no hangovers
3) no guilt
4) a clear look at my life
5) the oppurtunity, even if I don't take it, to be present.

There are reasons to drink too. But it would be useless to say them. They are small and can all be attained in other ways. Drinking eases the pain. Drinking kills bad thoughts. Drinking lets me have an easy social and sex life.

But the easy road never got me anywhere great. Just a mess that was out of my control.

Playing the lottery with life, and letting time whizz by. If the hard one is the one for me....then so be it.

I am sad today. I have a lot of things to do and fix. The proverbial roof of my life is leaking. I want to put buckets under the holes and sit in the corner sipping poison and dozing. Instead I am sitting in the corner watching the holes, watching the world seep in. I am not fixing things yet. Just basking in the problems. Coming to grips.

I'm lonely.

-Kinzoku
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Old 09-24-2015, 04:13 AM
  # 297 (permalink)  
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Morning folks.

Today's a week once I get through it. Will be somewhere where I have a little temptation tonight but very very little and I'm not concerned.

SD, sorry about your situation. Really puts it in perspective when we see the results of this disease but yet some part of our brain doesn't seem to care.

FBL, I totally get kids being a trigger, and feeling bad about it. Both mine can be too. But it isn't like my drinking increased once I had kids or anything. They just at times provided a different justification, which I would have otherwise found if they weren't around.

Sorry you're low kinzoku. Hope you get to feeling better. Get some sober time and you may find it helpful in facing those challenges.

Off for the day
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Old 09-24-2015, 04:50 AM
  # 298 (permalink)  
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I'm just off to bed after work. No alcohol in the house and just as well as I've entered a period of quite intense cravings. Think I'll make it through this period but just have to be careful. Not a happy bunny at the moment

Night
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Old 09-24-2015, 05:02 AM
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Good Morning Folks. I wish I had the opportunity to be on SR more yesterday, because I had a day filled with temptation. Yesterday was my birthday (66). It was a beautiful, sunny, temperate day. I was golfing (walking the course) and I began to think how good cold beer(s) would taste when I got home. My AV told me it was my birthday and I could celebrate with a couple of drinks.

The last couple of days prior to my birthday and especially throughout the day, I was thinking about my twin, whom I lost to a heart attack when she was 58. My birthday is a sad, difficult time for me when I think about not spending or talking to my twin. It's hard being a twinless twin at birthday time. My AV once again told me that it was okay to have a couple of drinks and I would feel better.

My blood sugar has been way of of whack (higher) since I stopped drinking. Apparently, the liver is so busy processing the alcohol, no extra glucose is injected into the body. My AV was telling me that maybe I should have a glass of wine of two, so my blood sugar would be better. I was a beer drinker and don't even like wine,so I thought wine would be a good choice and I could stick to 1 or 2 glasses.

I am having trouble sleeping and am plagued by restless legs. Seems when I was drinking, my sleep was better and my legs were seldom restless. My AV told me that too.

One of the things that is concerning me is that I'm having trouble thinking about or imagining never drinking again. I read the posts here and it seems so many are convinced they will never drink again. I would like to be 100% convinced like those folks. All I'm able to do is take 1 day at a time.

So, as you can see, yesterday was a troubling day for me. I drank 4 liters of seltzer water while Hubby drank numerous beers, but I didn't cave and went to bed sober.

Now, I'm off to read the posts I didn't have a chance to read yesterday. Hope everyone is doing well.

Day 18 today.
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Old 09-24-2015, 05:02 AM
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Double Digits for Juno and I today! welcome SF and Cameron…..

Midton- you will feel better after a sleep! cravings kick in for me when I'm tired…(or hungry or angry or lonely)

I get the "kids as triggers" feelings….I have 3 teenagers and for the past decade, any backtalk, tears, issues, bad behavior made me IMMEDIATELY think of 5:00 when I could make it go away with gin. Although, I recognized the linkage-it didn't bother me…I could make my feelings of feeling helpless or stressed go away soon.

Kin- sounds like the cobwebs are clearing and you are looking at the some of the damage? the storm is over, the clean up begins. You can do this and you will look back when you hit day 50 and the mess will not seem as bad.

I love Dee's quote too SD….that was the mistake I made last FEB after 6 months of sobriety. I thought I had hit the 'reset button'
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